WARNING: In this chapter, Carlynda explains what L'Angley did to her. It might make some uncomfortable. It is for this reason I decided to have her explain it instead of showing it through a flashback, otherwise I might have to change the rating to M.
Previous: Carlynda realizes she's in love with Erik, which made her act strange around him and causing him to worry she was really unwell. She talks to Meg about her feelings, but is unsure if she is really feeling love or if it was something else. So, she decided not to tell Erik. Erik is concern about Carlynda because she has woken up feeling sick twice now and then she started to act strange around him. He didn't want her to go into work, but she made a deal with him. If she doesn't throw up by the time she leaves for work, she is going, but, if she does throw up, she'll stay for two days without argument. She goes to work with Meg as an escort. Before making it to the bakery, her brother, Lucian, steps out of the gentlemen's club. He tells her he has to go home for a few days to a few weeks because someone was sneaking around their family home and that L'Angley is not at the club today and wasn't there yesterday.
Chapter 14
Carlynda sent everyone home early. It was a slow day and Carlynda could use the time to herself. Knowing M. L'Angley wasn't across the street, she felt safe enough in the familiar environment of her bakery.
She wiped down the counter, letting her mind wonder. She was in love with Erik. She had admitted that to herself several times now and admitted it out loud to Meg. There was no denying it, but could she hide it? Hide it from Erik? She didn't think she could. How long had she felt this way for him? She didn't even know. Did he already suspect it?
She sighed as she set the cloth to the side and walked to the front windows to close the blinds. Love was confusing. She glanced down and pushed the chairs out of the way to give herself easy access to the blinds. Was it really love she was feeling? Or just want? Maybe she wasn't really in love with him. She just thought she was. How would so know? She glanced up at the window and jumped back.
A familiar face stared causally back at her.
Erik paced his office. It was long past the time he expected Carlynda. This wouldn't be the first time she was late, though, but…Blast it! He reached for his cloak and slammed the door behind him. He couldn't not go. He loved her too much not to check.
The moon was the main source of light when he stepped out a side entrance of the Opera House. He placed his hat on his head before setting off towards her bakery, taking the backway through alleyways and on top of roofs. It took little time to reach her bakery.
The lights were out in the building and no one was about. He jumped off the neighboring roof and approached the backdoor. Everything was still and quiet. He tried the door and found it locked. He backed away from the door and frowned. She must have left, but where did she go? Her brother's? Surely she would have sent a note. There hadn't been a time she didn't since their fight.
He took the risk and walked to the front. The blinds were down and the door was locked. Carlynda must have gone to her brothers, but what made her forget to send a note?
Still not completely satisfied, he walked to the side of the building and peered into a window. From the little light of the streetlamps, he couldn't see anything abnormal. The window looked into the back room where the baking was done and there was nothing out of place. The window was opened a crack, in attempt to air out the heated kitchen and keep the workers cool. It was odd Carlynda didn't shut it. Unless she didn't notice. One of her workers could have forgotten.
He was able to pull away when he heard a noise from inside. A frightened whimper and a faint rustle of cloth sliding against the floor. There was someone inside. He rushed back to the back down and picked open the lock. The door creaked opened and he stepped inside. He moved swiftly but quietly through the back to other door. He was glancing about as he moved, trying to locate the person. He paused at the doorway to allow his eyes to adjust to the darkness before glancing around the front of the bakery.
There was a whimper again. He glanced down. "Carlynda!" He quickly knelt down to the shaking buddle hiding against the counter. He reached for her and she flinched away. There was a stab of hurt into his heart at her flinch. How many people flinched away from him? To have her do it was even worst. Her hair fell into her face, as if it would hide her. "Carlynda, it's me. It's Erik."
But she was too far gone. Lost in some inner fear that wouldn't let her go.
He reached out slowly. This time she didn't flinch as he gently pushed back her hair. It was too dark to see her face clearly, even for him. But the faint light coming through the cracks of the blinds were enough to see the white sclera of her eyes. "Carlynda, it's Erik," he said softly. "I'm here. You're safe now. You're safe." He didn't know what else to do but repeat himself over and over again.
He didn't know how long he sat there beside her, repeating his words and caressing her cheek with his thumb before she blinked. "Er—Erik?"
He nodded. "It is I."
She burst into tears and he gathered her into his arms. "Ta—take me home, pl—please."
"Of course," he whispered into her ear. "Of course." He stood, holding her possessively against his chest. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder. He kissed her temple and whispered, "Let's take you home."
He sat her gently in her chair and knelt down before her, taking her trembling hands in his. They were back in his office at the opera house with the door locked behind them. He had wasted no time returning and she was not leaving until she told him everything. Someone terrified her tonight and there would be hell to pay when he found him. He was sure he knew who it was. Her brother warned him.
Erik raised her hands to his lips and kissed the knuckles. "Talk to me, Carlynda. No more dodging the issue."
Her tears were spent, but her breath still came out unevenly. "I'm sorry, Erik. I'm…so, so sorry. I should have told you long before now."
"Tell me now." He let go of one of her hands to run a hand through her hair in attempt to calm her. Her released hand joined her other hand under his grasp.
Her voice started out small, quiet and shaky. "His name is Monsieur Luc L'Angley. In public, he was a charming and handsome man and the son of a duke. His previous wife had died under mysterious circumstances not long after his father died. Rumors spread that he killed his wife, though as to why could only be guessed. Some said he found out she was having another man's child, others believed she found something criminal about him. I was too young to understand or even care.
"He started coming by the house to call on me. I was charmed. He was older then my father, but the first to show interest and I knew very little about love. So, I believed he would be a fine husband, that the rumors about him killing his wife was just that, rumors. His public display of charm and affection had made me believe he was a good man. I loved him, so I thought. I knew no different.
"You must understand how different I was before I met you. I used to be a completely innocent and naïve girl. I didn't know anything about what went on between and man and a woman. I knew nothing about sexual reproductive organs or their uses. I was completely submissive to Monsieur L'Angley without even knowing it."
Erik leaned up and kissed her forehead tenderly. "I did see a taste of that girl when we first met, Carlynda. You've gotten stronger."
She didn't seem to hear him, lost in the past as she was. She continued speaking, as if he didn't interrupt.
"He went to my father for my hand. My father granted it. My parents were so very pleased. L'Angley's late father was a Duke after all. A grand title. Even I was pleased. I wouldn't I be? That's when it started." She paused and closed her eyes, as if she can block the memory.
Concerned, Erik tighten his grip on her hands. "When what started?"
Carlynda slowly opened her eyes. "It started out with little things and he assured me it was normal for engaged couples. I knew no better. A touch there. A touch here. Kisses that started to get lower and lower and lasted longer than the last. Clothes would get loosen more and more. It was exciting at first. Thrilling and pleasing. Something new that I never experienced before. Something I didn't even know could happen or exist, with a man I trusted. A man I fancied myself in love with. A man to be my husband. I didn't realize what we were doing was scandalous and was happening sooner then was allowed. He assured me, Erik." Tears dripped from her eyes slowly as she rushed to make him understand. "He assured me it was normal. Everyone did it. It wasn't talked about in polite company, but everyone knew. Everyone did it."
"Shh, shh, my dear. I know he did," Erik comforted her as he ran his thumb across her cheek. "When did you realize? When did it become too much?" He feared the answer.
"He got me alone one night. That wasn't unusual, but he went lower than ever before. It felt different, but something was wrong with it. My body was so tensed and I told him to stop. It seemed too intimate. When he first started, he had assured me that my maidenhood would be intact for our wedding. That the 'breach' is what happens only on the wedding night. I didn't know what he meant, but having some sort of restriction that must wait for the famed wedding night sounded right. Made me believe all his other lies. But that night, when his tongue…I thought that was what he meant. I thought that was the 'breach' and demanded him to stop. Instead of stopping, he told me it was his turn to get some pleasure. I didn't know what he meant, of course, but he wanted me to kneel in front of him. He got frustrated when I wouldn't without him telling me why. I already felt like he went too far. I wanted to do everything else only on our wedding night. He wouldn't listen. It wasn't until he inserted a finger into me that I started to fight back, realizing it must be wrong, being afraid and uncomfortable. It hurt. For the first time since we started, it hurt. I smacked him across the cheek. And…and he hit me."
Erik growled under his breath. He closed his eyes to try and keep himself calm enough to hear the rest of the tale. But, in his mind, Erik had already decided the man's fate for daring to touch her, for abusing her.
"Then he said…He told me…He pulled me to his face and whispered into my ear. He said the day we married would be the day I say my final goodbyes to my family. If I wasn't going to be good fun for him, then I'll end up like his wife earlier then he planned.
"I threatened to tell my parents, but he got to them first. He told them I came on to him, but despite my 'wonton attribute' he was still willing to marry me, if only to 'save my reputation.' My brother, at this time, was away at a university and couldn't help me out. He didn't even know about any of this as it was going on. Didn't know I was even engaged. With my parents siding with L'Angley and fearing for my life, I ran away from home. I quickly ran out of money and ended up doing the very thing I thought I'll never do again."
She glanced at him with teary eyes that sparkled against the very faint light coming from the streetlamp outside. "Erik, I never understood…" She paused and took a deep breath to begin her sentence again. "I don't understand why he wants to marry me so much, only to kill me on our wedding night. I wouldn't have brought him that high of a dowry. When I ran, he could have easily woe some other innocent girl with an even higher dowry. Why didn't he?"
"I don't know, my dear, and I won't be giving him a chance to tell me once I get my hands on him," he threatened.
His threat didn't seem to faze her. She glanced down at their entwined hands on her lap. "I'm scared," she admitted softly.
"You'll be safe here, Carlynda. He will not be able to get to you if you stay here. I will not let him."
"My brother has a point."
"About?"
"This is a public place, Erik. You may be good at your job and may know all who enters, but you can't deny him entre on a public night, like the showing of an opera. Not without just cause and, with so many people here, he can sneak in or enter through the front door with a paid ticket."
Erik paused to think of a way to help her feel safe from that monster. "I know a place," he said, hesitantly.
"He can sneak backstage during a performance or during a gala. He'll even break down that door if he wishes."
"Carlynda, you are making him appear bigger then he actually is. But, I am thinking of a place he doesn't know about. It'll be safe."
Carlynda sighed and shook her head. "So, you're going to lock me away…"
"It's not like that, my dear," he interrupted. "I'm not locking you anywhere, but I am going to show you a place where you'll be safe. You are not going to be a prisoner. You will be able to come and go as you please. But it's somewhere he will have no knowledge of. Someplace, that even if he knew about, he will never be able to find." He would have to show her, for her safety. But he would no longer be able to hide the truth from her if he did and he feared her rejection. However, between hiding who he was and her safety, there was no contest. And if, by some miracle she didn't reject him, he would no longer have to hide in the shadows, not with her.
"I'll show you tomorrow, Carlynda. Tonight, let's rest." He stood, rubbing his slightly bruised knees, before helping her out of the chair. He led her to their bedroom and held her in his arms for the rest of the night.
Despite, her emotional night, she was able to sleep without nightmares. Erik, however, barely slept a wink. He went over everything he knew about L'Angley again and again, planning out several different ideas to ending his life. He also worried constantly about tomorrow. He tightened his arms around Carlynda and kissed her temple. This could be the last night she would allow him this privilege. Erik as all too aware of this fact.
Sorry, the year went by fast. Many changes in my life and I didn't even realize a year passed since I updated last. So it's a short chapter, but, hopefully, a sucessful one.
Not going to abandon story. I just don't know when the next update will be.
Please Review! They do help motivate me, but do know I will update with or without reviews.
