"No, seriously, what the fuck?"
Lucretia's office is a wreck. Her imposing self-portrait, the one Taako always feels the urge to throw tomatoes at or draw a moustache and devil horns on, is torn clean in half lengthwise, leaving only one intelligent eye staring out at him. The rest of the frame and canvas are torn down, one piece of the frame still in the process of toppling to the floor below as Taako steps into the room. Her desk is overturned and smashed to bits, papers scattered everywhere and still floating through the air like disturbed, slow-moving birds. He catches the glint of blood on one corner of the desk, sees the overturned chair, the Bulwark Staff lying carelessly thrown across the room.
He sees Lucretia sitting up and clutching her head, floored and gasping. He sees an unknown figure tearing its way free of the destruction behind the wreckage that used to be Lucretia's desk. It's an elf. They are on their feet while the Director lies on the floor and bleeds.
It's suddenly very hard to breathe.
The elf on the other side of the room raises their wand threateningly. Taako sends out a Heat Metal spell at them without taking his eyes off of Lucretia.
Lucretia, who is on the floor, looking up at Taako like she doesn't recognize him. Lucretia, whose face is much worse than bruised, who is sitting with her arm bent awkwardly around her ribs, who is covered in her own blood and who is prone as a stranger looms over her with a wand pointed at the back of her head.
His Heat Metal works like a charm (ha!) and their wand glows red hot between their fingers. The elf yelps and drops it on instinct. They scramble backwards, looking lost without their source of power. Taako can track their eyes as they search the floor, looking for the Bulwark Staff.
Lucretia looks around at the commotion they cause and lets out a strangled yelp. She struggles to get to her feet, hand outstretched towards her relic. The Staff, which should be within arm's reach for the stranger, rolls gently towards her, sliding just out of their range. The elf lets out a frustrated growl and lunges for it; at the same time, Lucretia lets out a groan of exertion and tries to scramble for the Staff as well.
But Lucretia only gets one knee under her before she's wobbling, almost toppling back over. In a second, Taako is beside her, a hand hooked under her elbow. She steadies, but sways into his side. It's strange, letting her lean on him after so long- after everything- but it's familiar too. It reminds him of the days after they came back from the sixty-fifth cycle, when Lup hadn't wanted her to sleep alone and Taako's chest had felt small and tight when he'd seen the way Lucretia's face was pinched, starved even though they were all healthy with the start of a new cycle and he and Lup used to drag Lucy to bed, curl up around her and beg her to finally rest -
Those days are long gone now. But Lucretia's face is filled with blood and her eyes are empty and her fingers are trembling where they grip the side of his tunic.
Taako uses another spellslot to pull the Bulwark Staff to them. It wriggles out of the elf's reach and soars towards them but Taako at least has the presence of mind to not catch it. Like hell is he risking thrall, and certainly not for Lucretia's ass. He lets it drop down beside her and Lucretia snaps it up into the crook of her bad arm, barely wincing. She must have landed wrong in the fall he'd heard.
"I don't know who the hell you think you are, compadre, but you better start fucking talking."
"Taako-" Lucretia sounds chiding for a second but cuts herself off. When he glances down, she's gone pale under the blood sheeting down the left side of her face. In a split second, she leans to the side and mercifully misses his boots when she throws up.
"Gross!" Taako comments brightly. Then he watches the elf for a long moment, while Lucretia gasps and heaves and clutches at Taako like a lifeline. Without even noticing it, his free hand has migrated and begun carding through her hair. The curls are matted with sweat and blood. "So, whoever-the-fuck you are, I'm guessing you did this to her, huh? Who the hell do you think you are?"
The elf's grin is smug for a person whose hands are still shining with the burns Taako gave them. "I am her reckoning, her absolution and her consequence. I am here to hold her to account."
Lucretia makes a weird sound at that, half laugh and half sob and Taako could go on and on about holding Lucretia to account but-
But this punk thinks they can do this to- to Taako's- to the fucking Director of the Bureau of Benevolence? To Lucretia, a woman this elf should only know as the woman who saved the world? To the woman who survived a year alone while an entire plane tried to rip her to fucking bits because none of the rest of them could be bothered to stay alive to help her?
Taako's ears twitch angrily, perking before lying flat against his skull. Lucretia's grip is loosening- losing strength- and he doesn't look down as he moves one hand to the back of her head, where he'd seen it bounce against her stone floor.
No split in her scalp. Good. He curls his fingers around the back of her neck and hopes that's enough to keep her upright for now.
"You know that's not really an answer, right? Like that doesn't tell me anything about who you are, that's just a bunch of fancy words you probably pulled outta your ass." Taako shrugs, smiles. It feels more like baring his teeth. He wishes, not for the first time, that his looked as sharp as Lup's do."I mean, cha'boy's fine not knowing who the fuck you think you are before I kill you, but Luc here? She's a class act, all polite and shit. The real fuckin' deal, huh, Lucy?"
"Taako," Lucretia says. Her voice is scratchy and low. It hurts his throat just to listen to her. "Don't kill them."
"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Taako deadpans, and tightens his grip on his wand and her nape. Lucretia doesn't even wince, just leans her forehead against the outside of his thigh.
"Don't. They're- they're- not wrong."
What. The. Fuck .
The heat that's been flaring in his gut is suddenly doused with uncertainty. What- what the hell is she thinking? Not wrong? That- that's-
That's beside the point. This asshole broke into one of the most secure places in the world and threw a fireball at someone Taako once called a- at Lucretia.
"Now, we don't have time to unpack all of that." Taako drums his fingers on the handle of his wand, a gift from Lup after the Day of Story and Song. "But right now, I'm gonna focus on the part where you have a fucking head injury, Lucretia, and also you're not my boss anymore and also you're obviously terrible at making decisions, our relationship is exhibit A, thanks very much and I'm gonna use all that as justification to tell you to shut the fuck up."
"My responsibility-" Lucretia slurs, and begins struggling to push herself upright. To her credit, she doesn't try to use Taako as a climbing post.
Still a stupid fucking thing to do.
Taako squeezes the back of her neck lightly. Lucretia opens her mouth, tilts her head up towards him, he can see out of the corner of his eyes-
And then the shift in her weight seems to get the better of her and she starts to slowly slip out of his grip as her body goes limp. Taako tries to hold onto her collar but a quick glance down shows him Lucretia is out cold. He lets go, far more gently than he'd ever admit to. The Bulwark Staff is clutched limply in her hands as she settles in an ungraceful heap at his feet. She looks like a broken doll, porcelain all cracked and paint running.
Taako looks back up at the elf and grins wider. He can feel his ears flicking about, his grin stretching too wide in his face, and he hopes the elf is as unsettled as they look.
"Here's the plan, Stan," Taako says very quietly. "You can tell me who you are and what you're doing here and I will kill you in the gentlest way possible."
He lets the silence stretch until they shift on their feet. They look like they're going for bravado but their voice comes out a little weak as they prompt him. "Or?"
"Or," Taako explains patiently, still smiling, "I can rip you to shreds and laugh while I do it. So what'll it be, amigo?"
For a second the elf looks cowed. They go to wring their hands together but wince, staring down at their palms. Taako can see from across the office that his spell has stripped at least two layers of skin from the flesh; something deep and angry purrs in his chest. But then they give themselves a shake, throw back their shoulders, and meet his gaze. Taako does not at all suppress the urge to roll his eyes.
"The Ragged Harmony is numerous and numberless," the elf tells him. "We are named and nameless, we are many and none and we will have our vengeance. You cannot keep us from our goal, for ours is a divine justice. We will take Lucretia of Faerun's soul as retribution for the dead and we will never rest until-"
"Ugh, shut the fuck up, will ya?" Taako says, and casts Disintegrate.
The elf dies screaming. Surprisingly, it doesn't make Taako feel all that much better.
