Shepard hadn't seen Admiral Anderson in two years; not since she made him a Councillor and disappeared at Alchera.
Well, disappeared was the nice, less disturbing way to put it. Only so many ways to phrase the whole "death" thing before it got unpleasant.
While she'd normally be stoked to see her old captain, Anya could feel the nervousness infecting every inch of her body. She was pulling at any loose strand on her bun, or tapping her fingers on her holster. Anything to not think about the fact she was coming to him as a Cerberus operative.
It almost made her mouth feel dirty, thinking about it.
She could kind of tell she was making Garrus nervous, too. He kept on swatting her hands every so often, trying to get her to stop fiddling with everything. It wasn't working very well.
Finally, after dealing with her shit for a whole ten minutes waiting by Udina's office, he grabbed both of her hands. "Shepard, I swear to god if you don't stop I'm going to ask C-Sec for some cuffs."
Part of her wanted to make a kinky joke, and she was really tempted, but she also wasn't sure if she might throw up the second she opened her mouth.
Other than Oksana and Joker, Anderson was the closest thing she had to family. Joker was easy to please, and Oksana was off god knows where, so he was the only person whose opinion mattered. She couldn't stand it if she just came back from the dead to find him-
Just then, the door opened next to them and Garrus dropped her hands. She'd have to tell him thank you for that later, because she couldn't do it now.
Peeking his head out, with a serious face on, was Anderson himself.
Anya held her breath.
His face turned, saw her, and then he started walking over. He even stood in front of her, looking down on her like she was still a private on her first field training exercise. But just as she was ready to either cry at his feet or panic jab his gut and tell him not to be an asshole, he pulled her into his arms. "I've never seen you this Alliance proper in your life." When he pulled back, he was smiling at her, and every muscle in her body unclenched. "I guess I never did, since this is your second one."
He pulled away and Garrus shook his hand. "She wanted to make a good impression."
"Good to see you again, Garrus." He shot a look at Shepard. "Could've used this enthusiasm when you were serving on my ship, but I'll take it now." Anderson gestured at her hair, still looking amused and bemused about the whole situation. "Gotta admit, it's damn strange to see the bun in a non-combat situation."
Chuckling, Anya reached up to her head and started taking out pins. He was right; the bun was an overreaction at best. She didn't need to be Alliance standard with him; they were years past that. "If you were going to ream me about my recent life choices, or lack of choices, I wanted to do something right."
"You're perfectly alright as you are, Shepard." Leading them into Udina's office, who was graciously allowing them the space while he was out doing something diplomatic, Anderson added, "You belong in the Alliance, though. But I do understand that when you need to do something, it needs to be done."
Anya could feel all her collective anxieties fall to the floor. Finally, she leaned against the railing, shook out her fingers, and smiled at him wide. "It's good to see you."
"Not as good as it is to see you." Cocking his head towards the desk that Garrus was currently perusing, giving them some space, Anderson had that smile on that he always got when pissing off Udina. "Not sure our favorite Councillor would say that, though. Udina's not happy with you. Says the whole "coming back from the dead" thing has left him a lot of paperwork."
Anya snorted and said sarcastically, "I am so very sorry for that."
"I told him it was karma for being an uptight asshole." Though Anya would love to keep bantering with him like old times, the way he stretched his neck and straightened out meant he was getting to the more "admiral of the Alliance" part of the conversation. "Speaking of humanity's representative, I don't have much good news for you, unfortunately. While I don't trust Cerberus as far as I can throw them, the Alliance is being particularly difficult about you coming back. If you joined rank again right now, you'd be tied up in red tape for weeks. And from how it sounded in your email, you don't have the time for that."
"No, not really."
"I'm sorry I can give you the Alliance loophole you hoped for."
"It was a long shot. I didn't expect much. Best I can do is send some of my reports to you. Cerberus never said there was a rule against sharing."
"And there's the rebellious asshole I know." Anderson chuckled and gestured at Garrus. "I'm happy you at least have some good crew with you."
She caught her breath looking over at the tall turian trying to mind his own business. While he wasn't doing it now, she was sure that her entire conversation with Anderson, he'd been throwing glances her way, keeping an eye on her. Most days, she'd find his mother hen behavior annoying. But thinking about the battery the other day?
Her heart warmed up, knowing he had her back every second. "Me, too." Turning back to Anderson, she was quick to take a deep breath and stave off any blush. This was not the game she wanted to play in front of her only father figure. "Now, anything else I missed?"
For the next twenty minutes of so, Anderson gave her the low down on Alliance happenings since she got spaced. While Joker and Chakwas gave her some basics, Anderon's rank gave her a clearer picture of things.
When it came to the Collector attacks, the Alliance was moving full-force to place soldiers on its outermost colonies and protect them from danger. He couldn't tell her much, but he did say the promoted Commander Alenko was on deployment to oversee some of the defense protocols.
Shepard didn't bother asking where. She knew that would be crossing a line of classified clearance that he couldn't give her.
He also talked about Oksana. He said that after losing her, Oksana started to spearhead expeditions into the Terminus Zones. Her recon missions in the Marakov had become vital for their intel on Geth whereabouts and possible future strikes.
And then, to avoid the woman between them that broke both their hearts a little bit, they talked about smaller details. Old Normandy crash site, recent Council changes, the amount of Alliance babies named "Anya" or "Shepard" in the past two years. But Anya did make him promise to let her tell Oksana Shepard about her return herself.
Even though Anya could spend the next few days bonding with Anderson again, reminding herself of her past where he was her mentor and the galaxy was just as stressful, just less of it relied on her.
Pushing off the railing and pulling him in for a hug, Anya said, "Next time I'm by the Citadel, save a dinner for me, okay?"
"Sounds like a plan, Shepard." He waved her and Garrus out. It felt like she was leaving a piece of herself in that room, some of the woman she used to be. After all, she spent a decade in the Alliance and now it felt so far away from her.
Next to her, Garrus bumped her shoulder with his elbow. "We could've stayed longer, you know."
Shaking her head, Anya stopped walking and looked up at him. She didn't know how to tell him that his sweetness didn't make up for all the gaps in her world. "I'm not Alliance anymore. There was only so much we could say in there, and none of it would be enough. Maybe once this is all over I can fill in the gaps with him. But not now." Anya exhaled and tossed all her hair to one shoulder. She was looking at her omni-tool, seeing if her contact replied. Bingo. Instructions and everything. "Anyway, we have a new crew-member to meet up with. They even messaged me a rendezvous point and everything."
Garrus tilted his head and asked, "Oh? And why didn't you tell me?"
"Didn't get the 100% confirmation until a few minutes ago." Walking forward, she smirked. Even if Anderson's office brought up a lot of complicated feelings, this should be fun. "Ready to go meet the the best thief in the galaxy?"
Peering at her, Garrus caught up to her fast pace and crossed his arms. When she wasn't such a scared baby, she'd have to tell him how adorable he looked when he was skeptical. She really liked the way his mandible twitched. "I miss picking up violent Krogan. That was easy."
"Don't worry, we have one of those on the docket, too. He's just not on the Citadel."
"Perfect." Rolling his eyes, Garrus followed her down a few streets before asking, "So how are we even finding this master thief?"
Just as she was going to answer him, a nearby ad podium started talking, loud. "Commander Shepard! Type in your password to get a free gift!" Shepard looked and there was a hooded figure with unique tattoos displayed on the screen. She gestured at it and walked over.
Garrus blinked. "I guess it's safe to assume we go to the podium that's talking to you." When they were standing in front of it, he only seemed to cross his arms tighter and asked, "What now?"
She pulled up her omni-tool to interface with it. "I have to type in Silence is golden."
"Not exactly your motto."
"You could choose not to heckle me every five minutes. Yet here we are."
"Don't worry, it's only because it's so fun to see you get angry." All of a sudden, Garrus leaned in closer and had his face inches from hers. Anya's entire body seized up at the could even feel his breath on her skin. If she wasn't so attracted to him, she would've thrown him across the road for this behavior. Instead, she just stood there, frozen by his voice and wildly annoying body heat. "And it's a vital part of my irresistible charm."
Turning towards him, she shook her head, her cheeks red. Those mischievous blue eyes and everything connected to them were going to drive her absolutely insane. "You..."
"Sorry to interrupt whatever's happening here, but hello."
Swivelling her entire body back towards the podium, Anya whacked Garrus in the face with her arm and improvised. "This was just reflex training."
"Okay then." With a smile, the hooded figure said, "Well, I assume you know who I am."
"Kasumi Goto."
"Right."
Placing her hand under her own chin, Anya peered at the ad, perplexed. "Why all the smoke and mirrors?"
"Had to make sure you were legit. Anyway, I'm the best thief in the business, not the most famous. I intend to keep it that way."
That only made Anya all the more perplexed and intrigued. "Professional curiosity, what makes you so sure I'm Commander Shepard?"
"You have an aura of seeing things no one else has. Also, your mannerisms are pretty distinct in the vids." Her hand had been out, gesturing, but Anya tucked them both behind her back. Great, apparently she had tells. "With those arm gestures and the turian sidekick, I knew it was you even before you plugged in the password." Okay, the turian sidekick part made her snort. Next to her, Garrus didn't look nearly as amused.
Shaking her head, Anya laughed, "Apparently I can't go anywhere without getting recognized now. Lovely." She already liked the thief, but she had to focus on logistics. This was technically business here, after all. "Has Cerberus filled you in or do I need to give you one hell of a debriefing on the Normandy?" Anya added, "It'll come with a "too late to run for your life" contract and everything."
"Oh no, I know everything. More than Cerberus probably wants me to know. I'm the one who found them. They started looking for me, so I got nosy." While the statement at face value was arrogant, Anya could tell there was more matter-of-fact truth in it than pride. And how could she dislike someone three steps ahead of Cerberus? "I didn't take much convincing. The signing bonus was worth it alone."
Anya's forehead wrinkled. "Signing bonus?"
"I guess it slipped their minds to mention it. Help me find my old partner's graybox. Someone took it, and I'm planning on getting it back."
"If that's the deal, that's the deal." Anyway, it sounded much more wholesome than Zaeed's deal any day. If she agreed to revenge murder, she could agree to honoring a dead partner. "We can iron out the details more once you're set up in the Normandy."
"Good." Behind them, Anya heard a tactical cloak deactivate. Her head turned and there was the hooded figure with this adorable, amused smirk. She had to admit, it was impressive for someone to get a tactical cloak past her. "Time to wrap this up. You're starting to look pretty silly, talking to an advertisement. I'll head to the Normandy. Miranda will settle me in, right?"
"I won't even bother asking why you know that. See you then, Kasumi."
Her cloak went back up and she disappeared away. Once Shepard didn't see any glimmers anymore, she looked to Garrus. He had his arms crossed and was glaring at her.
She had a feeling it had nothing to do with Kasumi and instead with the little dribble of blue blood on his mouth.
"Reflex training? Really?"
"I panicked."
"Clearly."
Shepard patted his arm. While she did sort of feel bad, he did turn her face pink in public. That was pretty reprehensible. She figured he didn't want to hear that logic, though, so she settled for a truce. "Let me make it up to you with some dinner."
Garrus snorted, smiling down at her. "Did the great Commander Shepard just as me out on a date without getting all flustered? I'm touched."
Her cheeks flared. Okay, the turian was certified evil now. The only reason she wasn't kicking him out was because her heart got really stupid around him and would probably chicken out.
Rolling her eyes, she started walking off towards their destination. "We're meeting people there, but okay, ruin my face why don't you."
"I wouldn't call it ruined." It was a little annoying how easily Garrus caught up to her. Guess having much longer legs than her had its perks. When she looked back up at him, he had this tortured look on his face. "I always thought your face looked fairly... even."
"Was that supposed to be a compliment?"
"Sorry, not good at human affection. I'll try again." Coughing, he instead looked down on her and gave one of those slow, easy smiles. Anya realized maybe those smiles had always had something more than just friendship behind them. "I'll try again. Your eyes are always nice to look at."
"... Better." She ran a hand through her hair and tried not to think about how, in theory, they had reciprocated feelings and hadn't kissed yet so maybe if she just dragged him over to that nearby alley-
She shook her head and said, walking faster, "But we should get where we're going before everyone else beats us there. I'm supposed to get a table."
At nearly a jogging pace, Shepard got them across a few wards and led Garrus to an odd little restaurant tucked in the corner of a generally bizarre pavillion, with a fish shop and toy store on either side.
Between the cherry red overhang and the ancient posters, Garrus was staring at the place like it was a trap.
"So, why are we at this... Earth museum? I thought you said dinner." Just then, very timely, a waitress passed them with a plate of burgers and fries, heading to a couple sitting outside. "Wait, there's food?"
When someone got to the host station, Shepard said, "Booth 1, please, for 8. Tell Alita it's Shepard." The host, a slightly overwhelmed looking Salarian, scampered off towards the back. Smirking, Anya was happy to see this place again. The peppermint colored booths, the stools, the smell of greasy food in the air... She glanced back at Garrus to explain. "It's a theme restaurant, based on 1950's diners in America. And we're here because I'm taking some of my own advice."
"Which is...?"
"I told Miranda the reason our team worked so well last time was that I got personal and we all treated each other as a respected unit. It's a little harder with this bunch, but the principle still applies."
The Salarian came back and started ushering them to the table. When they were seated, he added, "Alita says she'll come give you a proper hello when she has a moment to spare."
"Perfect."
Across from her in the largest booth in the joint, Garrus looked completely overwhelmed. Eventually, after giving at least three stunned and confused once-overs of the entire place, he intertwined his fingers in front of him and stared at her. Anya was really enjoying Garrus out of his element. But he interrupted her amusement, saying, "Let's circle back to why we're here."
Anya knew it would get to this point, so she already had a little speech prepared in her head. "This is my favorite place on the citadel. I used to only take Joker, but I'm inviting the whole team here for dinner. They serve dextro and levo foods. The owner is an Asari who's wildly enthusiastic about historical earth foods. Weird obsession, but I won't complain."
He nodded, but still didn't look satisfied with her answer. "And why do you like this?"
That was the question she had been hoping to avoid. "It's lame, don't ask." Scratching her neck, she tried to avoid his very persistent eye contact.
But he wouldn't let up. "Anya, I'm asking."
Dammit. He used the first name trump card. Taking a deep breath, Anya prepared herself for the less than cheerful story.
"Fine. I never knew my dad, and my mom never talked about him. This was the first thing I found in space that was purely American, like him. So I fell in love with it." Twirling and pinching off pieces of napkin, Anya couldn't look at him when she talked about her dad. It was something so oddly personal. But she didn't stop explaining, "When the only things you know about your dead dad are his name, nationality, and career, you grab onto what you can. And since I'm a shit pilot, this is it."
"You can say that again." Her eyes flicked up to his, "I've been in the Mako with you. You're a really, really shit pilot."
"Shut up." But she couldn't complain too much. She didn't want to get too deep, and he'd deflected perfectly for her. Sometimes she wondered how the damned turian could know her so well. The only clue she had was that if he had been looking at her as long as she'd been looking a little too close at him, that explained some of it.
Anya didn't need to fall into flirtatious thoughts right now, though, not when she was supposed to be the charismatic Commander soon. "I'm happy we got here first anyway, it's nice to show it to you alone." And the way he smiled at her? It knocked her out.
The crew wasn't here yet, though, were they?
In their final moments alone, she wanted to remind herself that the other day was real, that he felt the same way about her as she did. Her fingers brushed up against his and his smile only got sweeter.
But then someone was touching her shoulder and said, "Ooh, what's up, lovebirds?"
Before she could react like a normal human, her hand swung up and her fist connected with Joker's nose. Anya was in panic mode faster than she could handle. Cupping Joker's chin, she started to feel around his face to make sure everything was in place. "I'm so sorry! I was startled?!"
Garrus snorted across from her. "Don't feel bad, Joker, punching seems to be her thing today."
After Anya stopped inspecting Joker's face, where luckily nothing was broken, he slid into the booth next to Anya. He didn't stop glaring at her, though. "And to think, we would've had to ruin this date for a broken nose."
"It's not a date. The whole crew's invited." At Joker's raised eyebrow, Anya threw up her hands. "What, did you think it was just going to be me, you, and Garrus?"
"I thought I might be getting the serious "Joker, keep your big fat mouth to yourself" talk."
On second thought, that wasn't a terrible idea. "I mean yeah, do that. But no, the goal was some crew bonding."
"Then you two need to be a little less conspicuous there. Almost holding hands? Seriously?"
"Shut up."
As her cheeks started to feel too warm for comfort, Garrus interjected, "Is that a human thing? The redness?" Oh lord, she could kill him. Who needed a supportive boyfriend anyway, right?
Joker didn't catch onto her scathing looks and responded, "Technically, yes. But I'm honestly impressed at how red she's getting."
"I'm not a goddamn science experiment, you pricks."
Luckily, just as the guys seemed to want to launch into a whole conversation about red cheeks, Miranda showed up with the rest of the crew in tow. Thank god. Her savior.
The pretty Cerberus officer split the group and they pushed the current seating in. Which meant she was wedged in between Joker and Garrus, an inconvenient space to be inconspicuous.
Miranda was the first to talk. "Impressive you found a place with so many different food styles, Shepard."
"The chef who owns this place has been cooking different food bases for centuries, so she's an artist, honestly." Happy to play excited host instead of Joker and Garrus' comedic punching bag, she added, "I'm happy you guys all came. You even snagged Kasumi."
Kasumi and Miranda were sitting side by side, and Miranda furrowed her expressive brows at the woman next to her. "She was already unpacking when I found her in the Starboard Port. Which says some concerning things about our security measures."
The master thief shrugged. Anya wondered if she ever went out without the intense hooded look. "They were alright, but they don't seem to register tactical cloaks. I can-"
Oh no. "Don't worry about that." She could feel her cheeks going red again, and ANya started to wonder if maybe she shouldn't have tried the whole bonding thing. All bonding seemed to do was turn her into an embarrassing idiot.
Next to Zaeed, Jack cackled."Oh, I like that kind of shit-eating embarrassment. What's the story, Shep?"
"Nope. So if you-"
Before she could shut him up, actually break his nose, something, Joker betrayed her. Like normal. Why did she put up with him? "She likes to sneak around the ship without people noticing. Caught her and EDI planning how to do it."
"You motherf-"
Mordin said, "Interesting. Can see the appeal of avoiding conversation when busy."
But the concerning part was the frown that grew on Zaeed's face. "Is that why my damn door keeps opening sometimes? Have you been stealing my shit?"
"No, I just like looking at your guns." Wincing she added, "Without having to talk to you. Your stories are a little long."
Seeing everything was going completely off the rails, Miranda interjected. "Well anyway. This dinner is about bonding. Tell us more about the old Normandy. Did you and Garrus have some sort of pre-mission ritual things you do?"
Simultaneously, Shepard and Garrus gave opposite answers, respectively.
"Yes."
"No."
Sighing, Anya accepted the secret was out. Running a hand through her hair, she said, "I mean, it's not exactly mission prep. We used to have Friday movie nights."
Miranda nodded, in the organizer way that didn't make her feel good about the sanctity of her Friday Movie Nights. "A movie night wouldn't be a bad idea for morale. We could do a rotation so everyone can pick a favorite."
"No!" Shepard pressed a hand to her temple. This was not going at all as planned. "I mean-"
Garrus threw her a line, tapping her thigh and shutting her up. "She means it used to just be the two of us. No one else was all that interested."
Unfortunately, nobody caught the hint. Joker was holding in a sadistic bout of laughter behind his hands. Jack said, "Hell, I'm interested. Would love to show you pussies some good shit."
"There is a beautiful Salarian opera that too many other species never bother to see."
"Right." Shepard sighed, accepted defeat, and gestured to the table full of her new crew. If she had to sacrifice Friday Movie Nights for a more unified team, it wouldn't be the worst thing. "I guess if you're all interested, we can do Friday movie nights."
Joker took over, letting out his laugh like it was about something else."You guys better be ready for some top tier comedy, because we have to up your joke game. I can't carry y'all forever."
Even though the dinner started out as a stumbling mess, afterwards they started to fall into easy conversation. The humans at the table debated the best milkshake flavors and Shepard got to show off her long relationship with the esteemed owner, a beautiful Asari matron by the name of Alita. There were quite a fun favorite gun debates and it was really fun.
Sure, they weren't her old crew. But they had their own charm and Anya had to admit they were growing on her. Especially ever since she decided to put an effort into making a real team out of them.
What it made it better was that, under the table, Garrus had taken to holding her hand covertly. It made her so much more energetic and fluttery, with his right next to her, silently cheering her on.
She could handle keeping what they had to herself awhile longer.
After an hour or two, the whole group finished up and headed back to the Normandy. Everyone walked in front while she and Garrus stayed back. They weren't touching, but they kept close, and that was enough to keep her grinning like an idiot.
But then Miranda circled back from the front and started walking with them, something in her hands. Anya didn't really know what to expect, except maybe some weird administrative tool or something. Miranda said, "Hey Shepard, I know it isn't much, but I asked Joker and-" Then, she handed Shepard a pot with a tiny little aloe plant. Anya was a little too stunned to say anything. "Just wanted to thank you for our chat the other day. I hope you actually enjoy this... thing."
Flashing Miranda a grin, she remembered how decked out in greenery her old room used to be. They hadn't had time for her to repopulate, but this was a start. Her room would feel more like home again. "I love it."
After Miranda went back to the front, being the proper leader she was, Garrus gestured to the pot. "New plant?"
"Yep."
"About damn time." He bumped her shoulder and said, "Y'know, we can have our own movie nights on a different day."
"I know." Snorting, she offered, "Friday Movie Night after-party?"
"Sure, if it makes you smile like that more often."
Anya didn't say anything more, but she bit her lip and tried to keep all the electric energy in. The universe needed saving, like it always did, but maybe this time around she had space to be Commander Shepard and Anya.
Maybe having Garrus by her side would make it easier for her to be the real, squishy human inside.
/
Hope you enjoyed the longest chapter I've ever written! haha this baby was a whopping almost 5k, because I just wanted to chock in all these connected Citadel moments. I probably should've split it into two chapters for my sanity, but hey, I write fun not smart
I am loving awkward "not sure what to do around each other" Garrus and Anya. Gives me serious callbacks to when I was a weird, crushing hard 16 year old and I love mixing that in with them being badass soldiers.
Thanks everyone for enjoying, it makes writing so every day a even more fun :)
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