After the most boring and infuriating chat with the Illusive Man (which started with scolding her about the tank-bred Krogan and then somehow ended with him negging her that this better be the best Krogan ever), Anya was ready to feed herself to their newest crew member. But since he wasn't up yet, she preferred to reference better sources than a self-righteous hologram in a booster seat.
So, she headed to the science lab where her best source on Krogan liked to hum while working.
Leaning against Mordin's examination table, Anya asked, "Can you give me an objective opinion on something regarding krogan?"
The Salarian scientist didn't stop organizing his desk drawers and samples, but nodded earnestly. "Of course."
"How do you think I should react to the test tube guy in the hold?"
"Too unpredictable. Recommend termination."
Anya threw up her arms. Of all possible answers... "Absolutely not helpful."
Mordin stopped whatever he was doing to blink at her with his very serious browline. "When krogan are unpredictable, utmost precautions should be taken. No clue what Okeer pumped into it. Can't take chances."
"You're making me regret asking you for advice." Sometimes, she loved talking to Mordin, hearing him prattle on about STG or Salarian opera or catch him talking about family. But other times, he was difficult and made her want to shove his face near a chainsaw and ask if he liked the precision of the motors. Instead, she chose to try to be as precise as she could be with her words and intentions. "Removing murder as an option, how would you proceed?"
"Mild sedatives and a bribe."
Anya clapped her hands and pointed at him, hoping the whole production of it would make an impression; maybe get a Pavlovian response out of how he chose to answer her questions. "Yes. Better. I can use that."
While he didn't seem to care about what advice he gave, Mordin did seem amused by her arm movements. "Is it a hereditary or personality based? The hand gestures."
Even though Anya didn't appreciate prying too much, she figured she could throw Mordin a bone. Especially because said prying was scientific curiosity, not inflated ideals of her heroism. "My mother doesn't. I never knew my father, so it's possible. Personality-wise, I've found it more instinctive than expressive."
"Likely hereditary, then. Would love to see vids of the birth father. Quite sure it would be fascinating to compare."
A little too bitterly, Anya laughed. "You and me, both. Now, do you have any sedatives I can borrow?"
He gave a curt nod and handed a needle over. "One injection into the thigh right after emergence should weaken his strength somewhat and make him less violent."
"Thank you very much." Waving a hand at Mordin, she started to walk towards the door. "Time to wake us up a Krogan."
Sedative in pocket, all she needed now was a bribe. Lucky for her, if this was a "perfect" Krogan like Okeer said, this ship's existence was a bribe.
After all, what Krogan wouldn't love to be fighting the most dangerous missions in the galaxy and possibly dying in the process?
With purpose, Shepard at least equipped some basic shielding before heading down to engineering. They set up the tank in port cargo when they got back last night. And now, all prepped, she was going to open it.
Considering all his Shakespearean dramatics, they had to see what Okeer's legacy was about. Had to be interesting, at least. Maybe he'd have a bit more humor to him than Okeer.
Granted, since Okeer was his test tube dad the chances of that weren't great.
Just as she got to the metal doors, the comms turned on. Seemed she wasn't the only one in on her plan. "Uh, Shepard? Is EDI informing me correctly that you want to cage-fight with the full grown killing-machine Krogan baby?"
Anya rolled her eyes. He was all about her doing reckless, violent activity on the missions and telling him all about it, but the second it was on the Normandy? Now, that was too dangerous. "Don't mother me. Now buzz off, I'm busy "
Walking in, Anya was honestly a little in awe of the krogan. Unlike Wrex, his plating wasn't as angular. Instead, it was like he had gray rock ridges all over his forehead. And she had to give it to Okeer, despite never getting out of the tank yet, the guy looked seriously ripped.
As her hand reached for the keypad, EDI's voice reverberated through the room. "Are you sure, Shepard?"
"Yes."
A few finger flicks later, and Shepard released the lock. She pulled out her sedative and waited for the Krogan to be released. Every second longer the liquid took to drain, she could feel her anxiety rising. After all, it took just one bad reflex and even a mildly sedated Krogan could crush her skull.
Anya snorted. Good thing she and Garrus practiced reflex training.
When the tank was empty, the door slid open and the Krogan gasped for air, his bright blue eyes opening wide. Before he could react, she injected the sedative into his thigh. His eyes flicked down to her, a few feet below him, and glowered.
Anya swallowed and realized this didn't look great, from his perspective. Right. He probably didn't like being sedated much, either.
With a swing of his arm, the Krogan picked up Shepard and pinned her against the wall. "What were you doing to me?"
"Just trying to make this meeting a little nicer, but guess we have to do this the hard way." Rearing her head back, Anya went for plan B. She knocked her skull against his, staggering the krogan backwards. She dropped, but got right back in his face. "My name is Commander Shepard, this is my vessel, and if you want a good fight, you better keep your arms to yourself. "
Though the Krogan glared at her, he said, "I'm listening."
"This ship explores the galaxy fighting the most dangerous creatures and assholes you could ever dream of. Join my crew, and you can be a part of that."
Across from her, he rolled his shoulders, which only made him look taller than before. "Tempting." Before Anya could mess up her "I'm definitely super tough" act, he leaned over a little and grimaced, touching his hand to his ridges. "My head hurts, though. Okeer tied so many things to it, it can be confusing... but I know I like to fight."
"Good." Exhaling, Shepard loosened up her posture. If he was going to break her teeth, he would've already done it. Instead of stressing out anymore, she asked, "Okeer give you a name?"
He laughed. "No."
"Figures." Anya crossed her arms. This guy said Okeer pumped a lot of information into him, but it was like he just created a highly precocious, people-murdering toddler. If there was one thing she was going to do differently than the overlord, it was to stop telling this krogan what he was going to be. She understood pressure, and "future of our people" was bullshit to put on someone who hadn't even opened their eyes yet. "Well, what would you like to be called?"
"Okeer called me perfect. Legacy? Hmm, no. There was another word though... Grunt. That should work. My name is Grunt."
Anya couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she liked that. Glancing her new crewmember up and down, she figured she'd have to put in some extra work to get him up to speed. But she was happy to help him reject "legacy" if that wasn't the kind of name he wanted. She extended her hand. "Well, welcome to the Normandy, Grunt."He blinked a few times before he seemed to process it as a handshake. He took her palm in his and only slightly crushed her fingertips; honestly, it was gentler than she expected. When she pulled back, she just had one more thing to ask, "Any questions?"
"My head's full of questions. Okeer didn't do the best job making all of his information coherent. I can remember war, violence, and loss like it happened to me firsthand, but I can't feel any of it."
If that was the first sentence out of Grunt's mouth about what was going on in his head, Okeer's "genetic imprinting" definitely did a number on him. She read up on it from Okeer's notes. He was trying to teach Grunt everything about the world before he was even "born". Ambitious, particularly since he had no proof if it worked.
Seemed like it did, but not completely. Anya offered, "Well, I'd be happy to help you sort through some of it. Maybe ask our scientist for any tips."
"Thank you." After a few seconds of staring down at her like she was some unreadable anomaly, Grunt added, "Okeer didn't put anything in the tank about humans being helpful. Useful, perhaps, but not helpful."
"I met the guy. I'd say teamwork or race relations weren't his specialty." Seeing Grunt leaning into the leg she didn't inject with drugs that could probably kill her, Shepard winced. "Speaking of, sorry about the injection, though."
"My leg still feels tingly. Like cold, but hot, too."
That didn't sound great. She might have to have Chakwas check that out if it persisted. "Again, very sorry." Just then, Grunt's stomach grumbled and Anya got a great idea. Wrex's perpetual laziness might come to use, after all. "To make it up to you, would you like some food after all that? I know how to make a couple of Krogan things because I had a friend who sometimes would only feed himself nutrients bars because he was impatient for things to cook. Learned a few things."
Even though he still looked a little hesitant, Grunt nodded. "I would... Like that."
Just then, the metal doors behind her slid open and in walked tall, broad-shouldered, and blue eyed. Anya would be surprised, but him barging in on her was sort of typical at this point. Instead, she just smirked at him. If she had to guess, she'd say he was either lost or commissioned by Joker to make sure she wasn't dead. ASince he never went down to engineering, that just left...
On cue, he said, "Joker told me you were doing something dumb in here." Crossing his arms, he gestured to Grunt. "I see you let out the Krogan all by yourself."
"Yep."
Garrus snorted in amusement and asked, like it was the obvious next question: "What'd you name him?"
Glaring, Anya corrected his false assumption that she was going around giving people titles. "He named himself Grunt."
Instead of sassing her like she expected, he glanced up at the comms like someone was listening. "Hey Joker, I won the bet. She adopted it."
"God dammit Shepard krogan aren't puppies."
Did these asshole seriously make a bet on what she was doing with their new crewmember? "And what did you bet, Joker?"
"That it would go all Cronenberg on you and we'd have to shoot up engineering before spacing it."
Anya took her time with a deep, long sigh. "He's a person with free will who isn't going to come up to the cockpit and give you rabies. But push your luck and I will encourage him to cage-fight you."
"You just like befriending the plated murder machines to threaten me, don't you?"
Next to her, Grunt growled, "I don't like the faceless voice."
"Don't worry, if the faceless voice ever gets the quads to come bother you, you can beat him up."
Grunt laughed, something primal in him amused and satisfied by the thought. Anya liked that. More people on her side, striking back against Joker's shitty jokes. "I like that."
Over the comms, Joker was not nearly as amused. "I do not."
"Well then maybe don't sicc Garrus on me because you don't trust me."
"Don't do that. I trust you, I just don't trust-" Anya was thankful he stopped talking, because she wasn't even Krogan and she was starting to get a bit offended. But luckily, her friend was smarter than that. "You know what? I'll shut up."
"Good." Looking back to Grunt, the guy (kid?) was stretching out all his muscles. She couldn't imagine how damn good that felt, after all that time trapped in that tank. She'd have to keep pressing him, figure out how much he did understand and what he didn't. However, she had another thing standing in the room that she needed to get out of the way, first. After a quick glance to the turian who wouldn't stop looking at her, Anya felt her cheeks start to go red and pulled all her hair to one side, saying, "Okay, Grunt, I'll be right back and I'll lead you to the mess hall. I just need a few minutes to talk to my turian friend here."
"Hmm. Okeer said turian tasted like chicken, whatever that is."
While Anya knew how to react to everything else Grunt had pulled out of his ass so far, she wasn't ready for that one. And neither was Garrus, from the wide-eyed look he was giving her. Waving at the krogan, she just settled for, "Lovely."
Once they were outside and the metal doors shut behind them, Shepard leaned against the bulkheads and took a good look at her turian. Where Joker sounded all ruffled and stressed, he was just standing there, tall as ever, his arms now by his sides. "As suspected, you're fine, so I didn't need to be down here."
Anya played with the ends of her hair, happy to take this quiet, alone moment to tease him a little. It was nice when it came naturally like friends, but they were a little bit more than that now, weren't they? "Coming all the way down to the engineering deck just to check up on me? I'm touched."
"Honestly, I was more concerned about the krogan." Snorting, Anya smiled up at him. The way he made her laugh, unexpected, always melted all the nerves twitching throughout her body. And just like he would, damn turian was smirking, though he did struggle to meet her eyes. "Don't look at me like that, It makes me feel gross and fuzzy."
Gesturing up to the ceiling, and generally where the comms came from, Anya changed tactics to spare him the embarrassment. But mostly only because she was pretty sure it would turn into her embarrassment if she tried to poke those "warm fuzzies" anymore. "So I gather Joker still is using the "date" thing against us."
"To give him credit, he had us figured out long before we did." Coughing, Garrus furrowed his brow and looked at her very seriously, like they were back at C-Sec days and she was a drunk he was telling to keep it together. He was trying to be a little more professional, but her stomach didn't get the memo because it was bouncing. He just looked so adorable. Garrus said, "But while I have you alone for a moment, and speaking of crew members..."
Okay, this conversation was something she wanted to talk about. Didn't need another Korlus. And no matter how red her cheeks got or how distracting his shoulders could be, she couldn't think of anyone better to sort this out with. He was still her best friend, too, right?
Anya crossed her hands behind her back and asked, "You mean the diner a few days ago? And the mission yesterday? I'm all ears. The rule books don't have protocol on how to have feelings for your turian best friend on a packed starship."
"Exactly. Not that I don't want to be known as the arm candy for the most important woman in the Galaxy, but I think we should agree that it's best to keep it to ourselves." Even though he was hesitant, Garrus copied her and took a couple strands of her long hair in his talons. Anya could barely breathe, watching him do it. He stepped closer and looked at her like nothing else existed around them. "And not just to keep the crew from getting distracted. Right now, I wanna figure this out with you. Only you."
While she could focus on what he just said and probably turn into a whole-ass lobster about it, she instead looked at her hands and tried to use her fingers to count off good ideas. Anya had to just spew words, because otherwise she'd get distracted. "What should we make our ground rules? No telling the crew if we go on dates? No touching in public? No staying the night at each other's quarters?"
"Those are good. I'll also try not to be so, uh, awkwardly attentive on missions." Garrus was scratching his neck, the way he did when he wasn't too proud of something he did. He probably didn't know how endearing she found it by now. She was pretty sure he looked like that right after quitting C-Sec and ending up on her ship. He chuckled. "Granted, half of that can be blamed on the whole "you died" thing, but still."
Anya kept on getting this annoying, infectious smile looking at him. He just looked so vulnerable and sweet, a stark contrast to the irritable bucket of snarky asshole he normally was. "Sounds like good protocol, Garrus. I think otherwise it's best just to figure it out as we go, but as long as we're on the same page, we should still be able to do this. I want to try this." She paused, then added, running a hand through her hair, "A-anyway, keeping it a secret's kinda hot."
In front of her, he looked like he was half-ready to choke. "I'm going to have to get used to you saying things like that."
"I hope you never do. Makes up for how much of a dick you are about my blushing. I enjoy watching you squirm. At least, now that I know you like it." Pushing off the wall, she wished she could keep on being weird and awkward and figuring things out with him. However, she promised a Krogan some dinner. "Now that we sorted that out, I'm going to go back to my new Krogan. Need to get him fed and make sure he knows all the other protocols on this ship before he throws somebody through a meat blender."
"Typical." Garrus grabbed her hand and looked down at her. A little alarmed, she was expecting something super serious to come out of his mouth. Anya felt a little unsettled; she prepped herself for anything. Or, at least tried to. "Have fun, Anya." She exhaled. Well, that was a little anticlimactic. "My mouth feels weird saying that, it'll take time to get used to your name, too."
That's when it clicked. He was trying to prepare himself for saying her name right this time.
Okay, that stupid butterfly house was losing its mind now, and Anya couldn't help but wonder how the same dick who gave her a time-out on his shoulder could be so insecure and cute.
With a smile, she said, "For the record, I liked it." Taking a deep breath, Anya tried to be lame and brave, too. She got up on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek. "Enjoy calibrating!"
And she walked towards the door because her stupid red cheeks couldn't look at him.
"Don't break the engineering deck."
Without looking back, Anya waved and bit the inside of her cheeks, hoping her cheeks would calm down before she went back to Grunt. "No promises."
As the door shut behind her, she really didn't want to explain what red cheeks on humans meant. Of all things she wanted, having to explain the birds and bees to a Krogan was a nope.
Now, it was time to go back to being Commander Shepard.
She wouldn't be forgetting being Anya in the hallway with him anytime soon, though.
/
Author's note:
Yay! Grunt is one of my favorite things about ME2 so I'm hyped to have him join the crew.
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