Chapter 45

Screaming, blood, searing pain. That's all that was happening. Everything was happening so quickly, yet not fast enough. Bella went into labor just hours ago, and here I was giving birth too. They won't tell me what happened. They won't tell me anything. All they are telling me to do is to relax and push.

I couldn't push. I couldn't breathe. Everything around me was spinning and I felt like I was on fire.

I tried to concentrate on what was happening around me, but I couldn't. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't keep in any information that I was seeing, except for the amount of red I saw.

Pain followed by more pain was the only thing keeping me aware that something was happening. I felt my insides move as I stared up at the ceiling. The ceiling. That was something to focus on. There wasn't a Jasper in my vision, but I knew he was there. There was always an electrical charge in the air that made me aware of him.

The charge. That's another thing to focus on. Blood, pain, ceiling, and Jasper's charge. This is how I knew I was alive by slowly trying to keep in information. This is how I can know I'm not insane.

Finally, the pain was slowly going down. The blood rushing in my ears, another thing to focus on. Slowly slowing down the rush of blood. More of my senses were coming back, but then slowly being taken away. The pain was a dull ache, but there wasn't the feeling of rushed blood in my ears.

Heat was pooling around my eyes. Tears. They were warm tears that were gushing out.

"…ri!"

A voice! Who's voice?

Focus on the voice. Focus, Lori. I couldn't hear the voice for what seemed like forever.

"Lori."

There it was again. It was male. Jasper? Carlisle? No, Jasper.

I felt my head turning and another ache went straight to my shoulder.

"She's too tense! Just hold on."

That one was a female voice. Blonde hair. Rosalie.

Pressure built on the ache on my shoulders and I slowly felt more relaxed as my head was being turned. A blurry Jasper came into my vision. He was bloody and so were Carlisle and Edward.

Baby. Where's my baby? Blood. Why was there so much blood?

"She needs rest." Carlisle's soft voice echoed through my mind.

Yes, rest. That sounded wonderful. Rest is what I need.

My eyes closed and darkness surrounded me.

{Jasper}

"Jasper, you must go eat." The voice of my brother came from behind me.

How many times must I tell him that I'm not going anywhere? Yes, I need to feed. Yes, I've been in this room for days. Yes, my son is out of her but I can't stand the look on his face. He knows he hurt her. He knows it's not his fault and so do I. He also knows that I need to be here with his mother.

"She is still alive." My father said right after him. "Her body is healing and sleep is how humans heal."

"For three days…" I mutter. "She hasn't woken!" My voice rose and I stood up, making the chair fall back on the floor.

"Jasper, you must have patience. This will all end soon." Edward said and walks slowly up to me. "Trust me, I know how you feel."

"No, you don't. Your Bella is a vampire. Lori is a human still. Her body is weak. Humans aren't supposed to breed with vampires."

"Yet, she's still alive. Yet, she's still human." Edward interrupted me. "We will call you and let you know if any changed happen, just go eat. She'll see you this way and worry."

"I'm not leaving. Blood isn't the first thing on my mind right now. It's her. Without her-."

"You have a son!" Edward shouted. "He needs his father. He's worried for you too. He knows you aren't feeding!"

My jaw clenches and I close my eyes. My son, my nameless son. His isn't how it should be. He should have a name, but I don't want to choose without Lori. We've talked about names before, but she's always been indecisive. She kept saying when the time comes, she and I will choose then.

It's been three days since the birth of my son and he still has no name.

"Take care of yourself. If not for you, then for them." Edward insisted.

He was right. If Lori woke up and saw me in my state, she'd be worried sick. I'm a father now. I shouldn't be selfish anymore.

"You're right…but if she makes any noise or movement-."

Carlisle chuckled. "We will contact you right away."

"Thank you." I finally say and kiss Lori on the forehead before leaving.