Anya fucking hated mornings.

That is, until she met Dr. Chakwas. She hadn't even been that much of a coffee person, but one very early morning many years ago, she walked out to the Normandy mess to find the most delicious brew she ever smelled. Grabbing a mug, she poured herself a cup and then had the most delicious morning drink she'd ever had.

And lucky for Anya, after their Illium pick-up, Chakwas started making her signature coffee again. Not just her basic blend, but the good stuff. She was starting to think it had something to do with an Illium alcohol, but she didn't give a damn. Moaning into her beverage, Anya cupped her mug like it was her true love. "I forgot how much I loved this."

Next to her, Miranda chuckled. She was sipping from her own mug, leaning against the counter all upright and put together, outfit, makeup, and all. From the whole look she had going on, Shepard could tell she was one of those people that enjoyed coffee to enjoy it, not like it was a life force.

Anya was the opposite. She had some hunched shoulders and sweats. This drink was necessary sustenance for early hour survival.

With a surprisingly friendly smile (taking tips from Jacob?), Miranda said, "Didn't peg you for a morning person, Shepard."

"I'm not. Chakwas' coffee is just that good. Also, it makes the rest of an early day bearable."

With a roll of her eyes, Chakwas was already dismissing her. "She compliments me too much." Chakwas was on the other side of the counter, with a much larger thermos than either of them. Anya was half convinced the good doctor injected the shit straight into her veins when no one was looking. Across from her, Chakwas also looked perfect, her gray bob sleek and not a single hair out of place. Maybe she was actually what Miranda's future looked like, older, graceful, and mellowed out.

If she was being honest, she would be jealous. She'd love to be Chakwas when she grew up.

Patting the doctor's soft hand, Anya shook her head. "No I don't. I should compliment you more."

"I have to admit, it's a very good brew, Doctor." Chakwas waved them both away, like they were silly children. It annoyed Anya when she did that, but she couldn't blame her. Must be a weird jump to go from a medical hospital where she was just a doctor like everyone else, to a ship where Anya trained everyone to respect the hell out of her. Not that the others didn't respect her, but back there she was an Alliance cog. Here, she was their revered doctor that Anya Shepard wouldn't shut up about. That was high praise here, and the only reason Anya appreciated her influence.

As Ckakwas deserved, of course, but still. She could understand how weird the whole thing must feel.

Interrupting her musings, Miranda turned to look more directly at her. Her face was all "organizer serious". Anya wasn't sure she wanted to hear what was about to be said, but she listened: "While I have you here, I'd like to say thank you for doing requisitions a few days ago. But you've been off ever since. You even missed target practice yesterday, which is very unlike you. Also you missed a few supplies. Please never do them for me again. We can find other ways to do whatever bonding you want."

Anya raised an eyebrow and tried not to think about the fact she missed target practice because she was drafting 17 failed emails to Liara. Her head needed to be here, not there. "Whatever bonding I want?"

"That look makes me feel like I'm going to regret saying this, but yes."

Smirking, Anya leaned against the kitchen counters, mirroring Miranda's posture. Even though she didn't look at her to rub it in too much, she did have to rub it in a little. How could she resist? Shepard said, "Aww, I'm getting the pretty, perfect ice queen to warm up to me. I feel honored."

Miranda scoffed. "I'm just human, Shepard."

"Yeah, but you're one of my humans now. I like that." In the comfortable lull, Anya was happy to see the stars out some nearby windows, to be aware of Miranda's still, calming presence. But she started to get this weird, creeping discomfort. "I never really stood out and drank coffee with the crew very often. I can't remember-"

And then it hit her, just as the elevator doors opened, coming down from Command deck. "Oh no."

"Oh no, what?"

With a beleaguered groan, Anya looked at Miranda and tried to memorize the wonderful serenity they just had going on between them. It was so nice. It was like, for once in her life, she was a proper, serious adult with professional friends who all sipped hot beverages like adults and treated each other with respect.

And it was about to be ruined with tomfoolery, which she knew would be half her fault because she couldn't control herself.

Sighing, she warned Miranda best she could, saying, "I forgot there was a downside to waking up for Chakwas coffee."

"Wha-"

Just then, a certain Jeff Moreau hobbled in, sat down at a stool across the table, and gave her this wild, shit-eating grin. It was like he was a zoo monkey, just ready to throw it at her. Anya winced before he opened his mouth. "Good morning to the losers, needing extra caffeine to do their jobs."

"...And there it is."

His hand reached across the counter, grabbing one of the loose muffins on a plate. Ripert had been getting pretty good at making a couple each morning (mostly at Joker's sugar-induced behest). "Ladies, I see you all are ingesting demon juice. Hope you don't crash later."

"Speak for yourself, muffin-monger." Crossing her arms, she felt the weird, primal sibling hatred she felt for Joker during these morning flares. There was something about mixing an uncaffeinated her with Joker that turned her into-

Her mouth spoke before her head. "Trust me, Joker, there is a point of tolerance where that's not a thing unless you inject a whole pot into your veins. Which might kill a person, but I'd be willing to risk it if you want to experiment on yourself. Your sacrifice would be honored."

Miranda looked past both of them to Chakwas, her face trapped in this sort of bemused horror, asking, "So did they do this on the first Normandy?"

Anya scoffed and spoke before Chakwas could even open her mouth. "Yes. He loves heckling my tired face early in the day. And I forgot that until this moment, too busy savoring the only thing that makes me feel alive at this hour." Her groan reverberated throughout her chest, her empty stomach. If he only came in close enough, she could wring his stupid neck, but that would mean letting go of her beautiful coffee. With an elongated sip, she glared at him. "Why don't you leave me alone about coffee?"

"Because it's fucking funny that at 6 AM the Savior of the Citadel looks like a racoon with a drinking problem. Between the smeared eye makeup and the way you hold that mug, it's goddamn hilarious. The jokes write themselves."

Throwing daggers and maybe thermal weapons with her eyes, Anya said, "I'm going to break your right hand so you can't enjoy something that helps you get through your day."

"I'm ambidextrous, so just try me."

"Okay, guess it's both-"

Chakwas put a hand on each of them and gave them a serious "mom" look. Considering she preferred to be their friend, not any sort of parental figure, it shut them up. "Both of you, stop it. I don't know why you turn each other into feral teenagers at this hour, but don't take it out on everyone else. Now, shoo before we don't have a pilot." Joker looked annoyed, but grabbed his morning protein shake, made a face at Shepard, and went back to the elevator.

Once he was out of sight, Chakwas let out a breath like she just avoided World War 3. They weren't that bad, were they? "Perhaps our old system, Shepard? I bring a cup to your room?"

"Ugh, I wanted to have coffee with humans again."

Miranda cut in and offered, "What about my room? We can have coffee together with no Joker. That can be our "bonding" activity."

Even if she tried, Anya couldn't beam harder. Partially because her face wasn't nearly awake enough for that. She needed a little more time for the caffeine to hit. "I would love that."

"You're invited too, Doctor."

Chakwas didn't look too sold on the idea, her lips still pursed and her eyebrows knitted. Anya was pretty sure that the display between her and Joker just soiled Chakwas' interest in any of them. At least, when it came to being bright-eyed and bushy tailed. "Perhaps every once in a while. This is already way too much chaos for my mornings."

Anya figured that was some coercion that could work out, three professional ladies sipping coffee in Miranda's office. It sounded cute, but she wouldn't push it. She let Chakwas walk her way back to her office, probably to write up reports on how her Commander and pilot were possibly insane.

She couldn't really blame her.

Pointing at her coffee, she said,"Okay. Well, I'll down this and get to the training room. See you in fifteen?"

Unimpressed with Anya downing the hot coffee in seconds, Miranda just nodded. "As the schedule says, I'll be there."

After she placed her mug in the sink, Anya gave Miranda her laziest salute and took a pit stop in her room. The racoon face needed to go and she needed to change into a workout look, not a lazy one.

Sure, it was just slightly more tapered sweatpants and a sports bra, but hand-to-hand combat day didn't need her excessive layers anyway. But for good measure, she wore her sweatshirt unzipped on the way there. Sometimes she caught a draft in the hallways that could really ruin how much she loved the athleisure look.

With a proper cup of Chakwas coffee in her system, Anya was practically humming down the hallways. Liara stuff was bullshit, but her team here was good, and they made her feel good, and they slowly were opening up to her. That had to be good, right? This was what a Commander was supposed to be like. At least, the kind of Commander she wanted to-

Just then, her thoughts were interrupted by someone grabbing her hand and pulling her into the nearby storage closet.

On reflex, Shepard swung up her elbow and hit their nose, trying to disengage whatever stupid prank or surprise test someone was pulling.

Well, that is, until she realized she knew the talons holding onto her fingertips. Like, really knew them.

The second she put down her arm, Anya was stumbling over herself. Dear god, at first it was funny, but she was going to give him brain damage at this rate. "Garrus, I am so-"

But before she could finish her words, his arms wrapped around her waist and his mouth pressed against hers. Her thoughts of apologies fried right there and, in the darkness, all she was left with was him.

And boy, was that a dangerous prospect.

Pulling him closer, she ran her hands across his waist, his lower back. Like her, he was more or less in thin training clothes, and she loved the feeling of grabbing onto cloth and skin, not hard armor plating. There was something really hot about knowing that here, in this closet, they were both stripped of their armor and rules and ranks and they were just Anya and Garrus.

His tongue slipped into her mouth and she nearly lost her mind.

Just as she was ready to call off training and lock them in here just to see what might happen, he pushed her away, breath heavy. "I've been wanting to get you alone to do that for days."

"We should keep doing that." She caught his mouth on hers again. Anya would love to say she was surprised how good it felt to kiss a turian, but she'd done it a few times before. It was the other parts of being with a turian that she was starting to get a little too curious about. Especially because it came with the stubborn, attractive, snarky, terribly sexy mouth of Garrus Vakarian.

And in a dark space where she wasn't the overburdened Commander Shepard anymore, Anya couldn't stop thinking about the kind of trouble she could get herself in with him.

Garrus, on the other hand, was annoyingly responsible, his talons grabbing her arms and removing them from his body. "W-we should go."

Anya leaned back into him, wondering what the skin felt like under the clothes. "Or we could not. We could ditch." Laughing, she tried to get as tall as she could, get closer to his face. He certainly wasn't acting like he wanted to go, so if she could just make him be a little less responsible... "I mean, I am the Commander, I could totally cancel training if I wanted."

But just as her mouth was about to press to his, Anya couldn't go through with it. She said the trigger word. If she woke everyone else up so early to train, it really wasn't fair to do this. She was the Commander, after all.

Maybe suicide mission prep wasn't the time to pull rank so she could make out with her boyfriend.

Sighing, she let go of him and realized she was a Commanding officer propositioning her team member in a closet. Jesus christ, was she a mess. Patting his chest, she admitted, "Yeah, we probably should go."

As she was adjusting her clothes to make sure she didn't walk out of her looking like a total idiot, he breathed on her neck. "Raincheck?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely." With a quick glance to try to make sure no one was in the hallway, she dragged them both out. In the light of day, Garrus looked just as frazzled and startled as she felt.

Guess neither of them were quite used to feeling like this, let alone trying to act on it in a crowded ship.

Whatever stupid blush was on her cheeks she tried to rub it off. "Accompany me to training, Vakarian? In a definitely, totally platonic way?"

He snorted. "Yeah, I can do that."

All she had to do was make sure they weren't sparring partners. Now, that would be an absolute disaster. If they could barely keep themselves together alone, how could they-

Waking into the room, though, everyone was already there before them. How long had they spent in that closet? And worse, it seemed Miranda already paired everyone up, her arms crossed and her thick eyebrows angular and pissed at them walking in, presumably late. Meaning, she was not only in trouble, but she and Garrus were stuck together.

With everyone rolling their eyes at her, scowling, smirking, being their ragtag selves, Shepard realized she could fuck it all up because she turned into a tomato just because she touched the turian. Worse, would the people she had just been getting to open up, like Jack or Miranda, be pissed that she was lying about the whole Garrus thing?

Joker was sitting in the corner smiling like an evil trickster god and Anya was ready to scream. All that respect she earned over the past month could evaporate because she was an unprofessional middle schooler who secretly made out with her best friend even though that sort of broke the rules.

And she might get outed because they were late to class after getting a little too heated during said making out.

Fuck.

/

I like closet making out. I like Anya and Joker being feral teenage siblings. I like making Anya feel awkward. This chapter makes me happy.

Now, next chapter might cringe me to death, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Thank you as always for reading and double thanks to my patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

See y'all Saturday!