A/N: So, I know it has been a while since I updated, so here is my explanation/excuse. I was working on one chapter, but something didn't feel right about it. It just didn't fit into the puzzle that is this story. This made me work with another idea I have had meant to post later on and realized that this was the chapter that needed to be next. Plus, the usual work, life and other projects I've been working on are also preoccupying my time, but what am I to do? So here it is.
In his cabin, Kanan was getting some equipment ready for his training session with Ezra. The two male humans were going to a closed off area that was a safe distance from the Ghost; far enough so no one could get hurt.
As Kanan packed what he needed, anxious nerves would cause Kanan's heart to skip a beat as he wondered what this part of teaching Ezra would unfold. While Kanan knew this part of his padawan's training was a great milestone, the man couldn't help but worry; however, it was not because he didn't think Ezra was ready.
Ezra had shown that he was quite the quick learner; the kid was always eager to learn what Kanan had to teach. Due to Ezra being eight though, he did find meditation to be the most boring part of their training sessions. Never the less, Ezra had learned how to keep a quiet and peaceful mind when need be. It was pretty remarkable how quick Ezra got the knack of it. Kanan though was more amazed by Ezra's raw talent when it came using The Force. Kanan knew Ezra was easily attuned with The Force from when he was on his own during his time on the streets; using it as his sixth sense to aid in his very survival. Even if it came from a darker part of Ezra's past, it did help shapes Ezra's talent for using the force when he needed or wanted to. It was no wonder that Ezra had advanced so far in such little time with Kanan as his master.
Now, however, with the basics down, Kanan knew it was time to step up Ezra's training. Kanan only feared Ezra might not be ready for such advanced training; physically and skills wise Kanan was sure Ezra could handle their training session. It was the mental part that made Kanan second guess his decision. Especially with what happened before they met Ezra; thinking of the torment and agony the boy went through before the crew found him sent a shiver up the grown man's spine.
"Getting ready?" Kanan heard a gentle voice from the doorway, he turned and found Hera looking at him with a smile on her face.
Kanan nodded as he zipped up the bag.
Hera then pointed out, "You shouldn't worry you know."
Kanan stood up from where he was packing and gazed at Hera with a skeptical eye, "Why do you think I'm worried?"
Hera then stated rather smugly, "Because Ezra would be babbling about what you would be teaching him, and you have decided to take this 'surprise session' away from the ship. Which you wouldn't be doing if you weren't worried."
Kanan knew he couldn't let anything get by Hera as he admitted, "I know Ezra is ready, but I wish I could train him without worrying about giving the poor kid a panic attack."
Hera approached the man and told him what she needed to say, "Ezra might be startled at first, but once he knows you're the one training him, he will be okay. After all, you wouldn't be doing any of this if you thought Ezra couldn't do it."
Kanan smiled at the twi'lek, "Thanks Hera. I needed to hear that. We'll be back in a few hours."
Kanan then headed out to meet the child, but not before hearing Hera call out, "Be back before it gets too dark."
Kanan gave her a thumb's up and a smile as he left the cabin area.
Kanan headed to the cargo hold and there Ezra was literally bouncing on his toes in excitement like he thought the faster he jumped the quicker they would go. The kid looked eager to get going, Kanan just hoped this eagerness stayed when Ezra knew what he was to be teaching him.
Kanan chuckled as he spoke up to get Ezra's attention, "I can see that you are ready for some training."
Ezra looked to his master and smiled widely as he nodded before he ranted eagerly, "Yes! Finally! With your arm healed we can get back to some more action training. Like, I know we were limited to what we could do so we stuck with meditation and stances, but that gets boring after a while. Not that I didn't mind doing it for a while, but…"
Kanan nodded that he understood as the two males got to the speeders, "I know, it can get repetitive after a while, and you have been very patient with waiting for my arm to heal. You also did a lot to help me while my arm was out of commission; which is why I wanted to get back into our training routine with something advanced, something I think you are ready for.
Ezra pumped his fist in the air as Kanan helped Ezra get up on the bike.
"What is it?" Ezra wondered eagerly as he got his helmet on, "tell me!"
Kanan shook his head, "You'll see; now hold on tight."
With that, Kanan and Ezra rode off to their designated training area. The whole time, Ezra wooted with enthusiasm about the two's little adventure. That energy from Ezra was contagious, and Kanan couldn't help but smile down at the kid in front of him. It was hard to believe the kid was so timid and cautious when they first met him; now the child was so full of joy and energy that even those without the Force connection could sense it.
After the short trip, the two finally made it to their destination. At the edge of the canyons of Lothal, there were trenches that were easy to ride into, and deep enough so no one above them could truly see what was going on As Kanan got the equipment out, Ezra jumped off and looked around at their surroundings; it almost made it feel like they were in a bowl.
"How come we aren't training near the ship?" Ezra questioned as he walked around, examining their location.
"Well for this training, I wanted there to be some space for us to train. Just in case this training gets a little too intense." Kanan admitted as he got the supplies out.
Ezra's cheerful expression fell to a serious one as he walked up to Kanan to see what he was getting out. That was when Kanan took out his lightsaber.
Kanan saw Ezra looking at the weapon with his eyes bugged out like he thought the saber would grow legs and attack him. The boy quickly stepped back from it, holding his hands over his heart like it would burst out of his chest if he didn't.
Kanan sighed at Ezra's reaction; he had feared this would be how Ezra would react to realizing that he was about to be trained to use the lightsaber. After all, he had seen the scars on Ezra's back from the boy's time with the Inquisitor; it made Kanan's blood boil. Even when Kanan used the sword on missions or held it in the ship, Kanan saw how Ezra would find somewhere else to be or would immediately turn around as to not look at it. However; if Ezra was going to be trained to be a Jedi, Kanan had to help Ezra overcome his fear.
He knelt down to the frozen in place child and smiled with assurance as he placed a firm hand on the boy's shoulder.
"Ezra, I know when you see this, you get scared because of what happened with another's saber. How it brings up painful memories."
Ezra nodded at the statement before he claimed, "I remember…him using it. For training, for punishment. It was always scary…and painful." Ezra began shaking, as memories of his past began to surface in his mind
Kanan gently began to explain, "It can be, in the wrong hands. In the hands of Jedi however, it can be used the right way. When we wield this sword, it is to fight for what is right. Not only to protect ourselves from those who are a threat to the Jedi Order, but to protect other's that cannot protect themselves."
Ezra weakly smiled at the man, but Kanan could tell another matter was on the kid's mind.
"You're worried about using it, aren't you? Kanan theorized, which was correct with what Ezra said next.
"Sometimes when I get scared and panic, I do bad things to people on accident. You've seen me when that happens, like with Zeb that time. What if it happens again while I have a lightsaber?"
Kanan gently assured Ezra, "First off Ezra, it will be awhile before you have your own lightsaber; you will only use my lightsaber for training. So, I don't think you having an episode with a saber in your hand around other's will happen. Secondly, that's why we came out here; so that we do not have to worry about you having an episode where others could get hurt. Just until you get more comfortable with the lightsaber. I must admit though, I am pleased you considered all that before we began."
Ezra was confused by what Kanan mentioned, "Why?"
Kanan explained, "To wield the lightsaber, you must be aware of the danger it can hold. By being aware that you could hurt others with it shows wisdom."
Kanan then decided to continue on a positive note, "Ezra, you have established good meditation skills, use the force on instinct like a master, and your forms and stances are prefects. I know you are ready for this."
Ezra smiled at Kanan before nodding his head, "Okay."
Kanan then took his lightsaber and placed it in Ezra's hand. Ezra glared at it in his hand, feeling all the knobs and buttons on it.
"It looks complicated," Ezra admitted.
Kanan nodded at the comment, "It does but trust me, it is easy to handle. Now, press this button to ignite it."
Ezra had to take a steady breath before he pressed the button. Kanan was prepared to steady Ezra's hand. But as the saber came to life, Ezra awed at it. The boy's blue eyes shined brighter with the saber reflection in them. Ezra waved it around to hear the hum of the weapon.
"It feels funny in my hand," Ezra observed, "but it's like a good funny.
"Like it's tickling your palm?" Kanan guessed.
Ezra nodded with a chuckle before he noticed the weight in his hand as well, "It's heavier than I thought it would be."
Kanan had to say it, "It's not that kind of 'light' saber." Kanan chuckled at his own joke while Ezra looked up at the man in confusion. Kanan then cleared his throat as he continued, "it will get lighter with some practice."
Ezra nodded as he understood.
Kanan then told Ezra, "That knob there will adjust the saber length appropriate to your height.
Ezra did as he was told and turned the knob, so the lightsaber would shrink. Ezra found this to be quite amusing and begin making it taller and shorter as he giggled.
"Ezra?" Kanan asked in a serious tone.
Ezra smiled as he finally adjusted it to a good length for himself, "Sorry."
Kanan rolled his eyes in amusement. At least the kid found that part of the sword amusing.
Kanan then walked some feet away before he explained, "Today will be simple. Remember those stances I taught you?"
Ezra nodded hesitantly.
Kanan continued, "Well you will use those stances today to defend yourself from these."
Kanan held up some old milk cartons and bottles that were in the back of the speeder, "I will toss them to you and, you will protect yourself from them, understand?"
Ezra smiled weakly as he nodded. It did not seem too scary, though the saber humming in his hand still made him nervous.
"Get ready," Kanan instructed, as he grabbed a carton. Ezra stood with the saber in both hands. Kanan saw the uneasiness that laced over Ezra's face but figured once they began the tension would go away.
Kanan spoke clearly, "Okay, I'm going to toss it, just block, like in training. Remember your forms."
Kanan threw the carton windmill style, but as he let go of it, he saw the panic on Ezra's face. As the carton got closer to the boy, Kanan saw his eyes widen in fear at the incoming object, as he thought it would explode. That was when Ezra began swinging for dear life; up, down, left, right, in every other direction; creating flashes of blue to illuminate in front of the boy. Even after Ezra managed to slice the carton, he couldn't tell because is eyes were closed the entire time.
"Ezra, it's okay," Kanan tried to repeat to the boy several times as he began to approach with caution when suddenly, Ezra stopped. Ezra looked down to find the carton in half, he then shut his eyes again; not in panic like before, but at frustration with himself.
Ezra then shuts off the sword before he spoke up with a cracked-up voice, "I'm sorry Kanan."
Kanan smiled softly as he got down to his level, "You have nothing to be sorry for. On the plus side you got the carton, but next time you should probably keep your eyes opened."
Kanan knew there was more to it than just wanting to hit the target. Ezra didn't even look at the carton being thrown when the panic attack happened, it was just as Kanan finished talking.
"What did I say?" Kanan questioned gently.
Ezra shook as he repeated it back, "Remember your forms', he would tell me that. So, when you said it… I just blanked. I forgot, and I got scared of forgetting so I thought I had to do something and …" Ezra then began to breath very unsteadily.
"Ezra, just breath okay," Kanan instructed. Ezra did as his master instructed, calming down several moments later.
Kanan sighed in despair, how could he get Ezra to see this was different than when the Inquisitor taught him. That was it hit Kanan, he knew how to get Ezra to understand. Kanan lifted Ezra's chin up so the teary-eyed boy could look up at the man.
"Ezra, I'm going to ask you some simple questions, and I want an honest answer."
"Okay," Ezra agreed, though puzzled to what he was agreeing to.
"Do I look like the Inquisitor?" Kanan asked.
Ezra giggled at the question, "No."
"Do I sound like the Inquisitor?" Kanan asked again.
Again, Ezra chuckled at the ridiculousness, "No, you have a nicer voice."
Kanan nodded as he asked his finale question, "Am I the Inquisitor."
Ezra smiled widely as he knew the answer, "No, you are the furthest thing from being him. You're nice and are always there for me. That's why I trust you."
Kanan smiled as he ruffled the kid's hair, "Exactly, so you know that I wouldn't be training you how to use a lightsaber if I didn't think you were ready right?"
Ezra nodded confidently, "Right."
"That is why I need you to try this again," Kanan requested as he held out his lightsaber for Ezra.
Despite a slight moment of hesitation, Ezra took it and ignited it again, and gazing at the light as it glowed.
Kanan then went back to the box of cartons.
"This time Ezra," Kanan shouted, "Remember what I taught you. This is like our training sessions. Focus on what I showed you, okay?"
With this in mind, Ezra nodded.
Kanan then threw the carton towards Ezra. As the carton came closer, Ezra could hear Kanan's voice in his head, "Remember what I taught you."
Ezra did remember, the stances Kanan showed him with their wooden staffs, how to visualize and follow through with one's attack, and more importantly, that even if he did it wrong that Kanan would not be mad.
As the carton came closer, Ezra stood his ground and swung the saber down through the carton, slicing it in half.
Ezra saw the carton smoking on the ground and began to chuckle at the accomplishment. Ezra then began jumping around rooting at his success as he still held the saber in his hand.
"Did you see? I did it! You told me to remember what you taught me, and I did, and I did it and I wasn't scared or worried, I did it!" Ezra bellowed out with pride.
Kanan couldn't help but beam at the kid with how proud he was of himself. It warmed Kanan up at how he helped the child achieve such a goal.
"Ezra?" Kanan shouted to get the boy's attention. The kid stopped bouncing as he realized how he acted might have been a little too much for he began to chuckle with some embarrassment as his cheeks turned red.
Kanan though smiled, "That was good Ezra," Kanan then got another carton out before he smiled smugly, "But can you do it again?"
Ezra smiled as he got back to his stance and heled the saber up, ready to continue their lesson.
The sun was setting as the two males arrived back to the Ghost. The whole time Ezra would not stop bouncing in his seat, eager to tell the others of how his first lightsaber training went.
As Kanan slowed down and began to hover the bike back into the cargo hold Ezra eagerly got off, running in the direction of the common room. Shouting everyone's name so anyone could listen to what he did with his training session today. Kanan laughed and shook his head. Once the speeder was parked, Kanan walked into the common room and saw Zeb and Sabine at the table with their dinner, smiling at Ezra as he told them what happened with such enthusiasm.
"So, then I sliced it, and Kanan was like 'let's try again', and I did. I kept doing it, and in different forms, I only missed like a few times but Kanan said I did really good for my first time. So…"
Ezra kept going on about how exciting his day was with Kanan. Out of the corner of his eye, Kanan saw Hera come up to him with a pleased grin on her face.
"I told you we'd be back before dark," Kanan mentioned to Hera.
Hera rolled her eyes as she told Kanan, "I told you that he would be okay with you training him how to use it."
Kanan smiled in agreement as he saw Ezra finally stopped talking to get some dinner
"Glad we were both right." Kanan acknowledged as he made his way to get some dinner too. Their first day back at training may have started a little chaotic, but Kanan was happy how he was able to help Ezra. Now though Kanan realized a horrible thought; that lightsaber training was going to be the only thing Era would want to do for the next month. However, seeing that Ezra was eager to have Kanan teach him the way of the lightsaber, Kanan knew it was worth it.
I hope this chapter was what everyone wanted after the long wait. I have been wanting to do this for a while and it just felt right to post it next. Ezra is no quite far in his training and is only getting stronger thank to the crew. Please stay tuned and be free to ask me any questions you guys might have.
