The feeling of smugness had lasted all about an hour, before R was filled with doubts again. Initially she'd jumped about, proud of herself. "Belief" seemed like such a noble power. It also seemed limitless. Humans could place their belief on anything they deemed fit. If so, wasn't it the most coveted power in the world to realize any belief?

And then she had spiraled all of a sudden, upon thinking of the word "world". Was this a world she had conjured because of her power? Even deeper, her powers hadn't manifested till she had stepped into the world of Bleach. Were her powers even real? How about free will? It was always said that there was one thing that could not be messed around with: humans' right to free will. Was her power contradictory to that? Were these people even counted as humans?

As she wondered all these out loud and rambled on to Yoruichi, the latter just frowned and sighed. "You've lived amongst us for weeks now, and yet you don't seem to believe that we exist for real. What does that say about your supposed power of belief?"

"I don't know." R sat on a rock and clutched her head. These questions are just going round and round in my head and I don't know how to deal with them."

"Was it easier just shouting at Ichigo from across the screen to deal with his hollow?"

R looked up at a smirking Yoruichi. It was surprising how quickly this woman caught onto meta humour. "Point taken, Yoruichi san. I just… I don't want everything to have happened because I believed that I could, or that it was the right thing." As her voice trailed off, she had only one image in her mind: Byakuya san.

Yoruichi however, had had enough of this girl's plunging mood swings. "Come, I'll take you home," she said, getting up. She smiled at R. "You can wallow there all you want, and good news for me, I don't have to be there."

When R walked back to her room, it felt dense and empty. There was still no sign of Byakuya san. Everyone else had a role, or their work to rely on to keep busy; but R was just there waiting, and it stressed her out to be able to do nothing. She had longed for days like these in the midst of her hectic life in Tokyo, but on the other side of the extreme, this emptiness was wearing at her too.

She thought of cutting some flower stems for a vase, but decided against killing the flowers. Squatting near the rose bush, she took the scent in with deep breaths, when she noticed another scent: cherry blossoms— wafting by.

Swiveling around, she found Byakuya san standing behind her. The sun rays falling through amongst the trees caught his black hair and grey eyes, leaving him looking like a painting, unmoving, his eyes reflecting the slightest bit of gentleness as he stared at her.

She stood up immediately and smiled, her first reaction, in relief. "Byakuya San!"

Her voice seemed to jolt him out of his thoughts as he regained his posture and cleared his throat. "You took forever to realize I was here. There's no chance you would survive a hollow if you react that slowly."

"You mean to say you were standing behind me for ages… doing what exactly?" she smiled.

He flash-stepped back into the house, offering her just a little glimpse of the colour forming in his cheeks.

Running in after him, she called his name again. He paused, his back to her, and in her mind's eye she was already hugging him. But that reiatsu pouring out of his person did not seem like it would welcome her hug.

"Did you just get back? How did everything go? What did you do? I'm glad you're safe. There has been some development in my powers as well." The words rushed out like a train. She had missed him.

He turned to her. "Things are how they are supposed to be. It is confidential and you're not exactly someone to discuss battle strategy with."

Her widened eyes were slowly turning into a frown.

"I have been in a meeting with the sou-taichou for a couple of hours since I was back," he started speaking faster too. Was he actually… scared? "I had gone to survey the world of the living to confirm if things were going according to plan. I have not come to har—"

"You have some nerve." She was breathing heavily now, steadily having gotten angry at how he had responded to her.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Yes you should! You… you meanie! I was asking you because I cared. Even if you had said, 'It's none of your concern', it's excusable. Even if it does concern me. What was not excusable was your arrogant reply!"

Byakuya only stared at her, flummoxed.

"If you think I am one of those girls who pine away for their men even though said men treat them like rubbish, you're sorely mistaken!" She continued shouting.

"I never thought that you were that type of woman," Byakuya replied, his voice going a bit higher. It would have been hilarious had he not been so terrified.

"So I guessed right. You do judge women using 'this type' and 'that type'!"

Byakuya scoffed. "I do not and have no need to. That kind of talk is beneath someone of my social standing." He frowned at her. "And did you just say I'm your man?"

It was her turn to be flummoxed. "No I didn't! You know what I mean. It's like one of those dramas with the downtrodden little girls who can only prove their love by getting bullied and stepped on by the men and their mothers in law!"

Taking a deep breath, Byakuya walked to her.

Why was he coming nearer? R backed off a centimeter. "And I have seen all of those dramas," she continued. "I'm never thrilled by emotional abuse." He was just a couple of inches away from her now. "So don't play games. If you want to be distant, be distant."

She looked down at her feet, for it was so awkward to look up at his face so near, and to stare into his steely eyes. He lifted her face up to meet his. When she dared to look into them, they were searching deeply in her eyes for something.

"Neither am I one of the men in your dramas," he said, voice dripping sarcasm. "That you watch those things is another disappointment altogether." She took a breath to speak against that, but he held on firmly to her chin. "I want you." Her eyes went so wide, they were burning their green flames into his. "It's beneath my pride and status to take advantage of you." She tried to focus on his words rather than his moving lips. "I still want to have you in every way."

Would he be taking advantage? R's mind worked out the logic at breakneck speed to the background of her fiercely thumping heart. He won't be using me, she decided. Maybe I'm using him. I'm locked up, lonely, lonely since what feels like eons. He might not be real. This is ideal for me at this moment. Damning all the consequences, she closed the distance and pressed her lips to his.