Chapter Thirty-Seven: I Know Your Secret


The whole way back from Aki, I didn't say a word. I got onto Castella's saddle without complaint, nodded my head to Toyotomi as he passed to lead us back to Osaka, and let Mitsunari deflect all of Ieyasu's questions. I couldn't even pretend to smile anymore.

Mercifully, Takenaka kept his distance, leaving me alone for once. People stepped lightly around me, leaving a faint buzzing in my ears where conversations should have been. Every time I tried taking a breath, it only seemed to remind me that Yukimura and Sasuke were dead, taking my hopes with them.

If I'd have known what faking my death would do for the future, I would've never asked Master Katakura to lie for me like that. Maybe I didn't know about an alternative, maybe it would've meant never entering or even hearing of Kodokuna, but it would've been better than this emptiness.

I wasn't visited by any spirits, my dreams were empty. The closest thing to a distraction I had was when we finally got back to Osaka, and Ieyasu pulled me down, shouting something to Takenaka that received a nod. Holding tight to me, the man of Mikawa took me all the way to my room, sitting me down at the table gently, "Sayomi, Sayomi you have to break out of this. You'll get ill."

My eyes dragged themselves upwards, seeing right through him, "Why? It wouldn't matter."

"It would to me." He knelt down, taking both of my hands, "Just as it would to everyone you love and who loves you." A hand stroked my cheek, rubbing it lightly, "Ranmaru wouldn't want to see you like this, would he? Neither would Hanzo."

"It doesn't matter though." I whispered, beginning to feel my body shake, "I'm never going to see them again!" Dropping my head to my hands, I let out a loud whine, losing any care for what Ieyasu might have thought. Mumbling pathetically, I didn't resist the hug when it came, the dam finally in tatters, "I want to go home…"

Ieyasu sighed raggedly, settling for stroking my hair, and rocking with me. Resting his chin on the top of my head, he stayed quiet, ignoring every shudder I gave, until finally I whispered something, and he pulled away to hear better, "What was that?"

"I-I thought…" I coughed, trying to get my voice steady again, "I thought Toyotomi would be like Oda. All talk, you know?"

"You have a funny definition of all talk." Ieyasu gently teased, "But yeah, I know what you mean."

A man claiming to be the Devil King of the Sixth Heaven had a title to live up to; one that Oda had ultimately fell under. Like an idiot, I'd only seen Toyotomi's brawn, and had made the fatal mistake of thinking that that was all he could boast. Instead, not only was he past my expectations of strength, but he had taken out the Fugaku, Chosokabe and those Takeda men without breaking a sweat.

My chances of escape suddenly had a new risk to them, one I hadn't been aware of before. If Takenaka had incentive, there was nothing to stop him from pointing his lord towards Kodokuna, and even Masamune, who as of Yukimura's death was the only man who had any hope of facing Toyotomi.

Without either of us realising, Takenaka slipped in with ease, pulling Ieyasu to one side to talk. Neither of them suspected that underneath the long hair hiding my bowed head, my ears were still alert, looking for something to cling to. "I need you to head to Satsuma, Ieyasu."

"With respect Lord Hanbei, I'd prefer to stay here. Can't Mitsunari go in my place?"

"He's needed here for when we launch our attack on the War God. He's the only one who can keep up."

"Then with your permission, I'll set out as soon as Tadakatsu's ready."

"See that you do. Our next few steps have to proceed quickly. Mori will turn against us, and I need to be completely focused for when he does."

"Yes, Lord Hanbei." Waiting for Takenaka to leave, I relaxed, waiting until Ieyasu was back in front of me before looking up, freezing when my brown eyes met purple ones. Next time I'd keep an eye on their feet as well.

Drawing away slightly, I let my eyes fall again, offering nothing until he sighed, "Take a walk around, get some fresh air." He suggested, drawing back to height and going towards the door.

Just as his shadow went to disappear, I remembered the trump card I had left and used it, not wanting to lose myself again, especially not to him, "I know your secret." Takenaka froze for a split second, long enough that he was seriously considering the words, but finally moved again, striding down the halls.


The first spring we had in the village, Sora and Kiyoshi discovered four words that had given them hours of fun, until they arrived at my door, trying to hide their sniggers behind their hands. I'd patiently waited for them to learn some control, one eye on the troublemakers, and one on the hearth, until Sora finally spoke.

We know your secret.

Which one?

They both stopped laughing immediately, before glancing at each other in panic before running away. Later, I'd found out that they'd tried the same trick on Nobu, Saburo and Itsuki, and had managed to do quite well for themselves.

Only unlike my little troublemakers, I knew what the secret was. By showing that small thing, I suddenly had a hold over Takenaka and he was stuck on whether or not to call my bluff. Finally, it was my turn to lead the dance.

The fact that I'd lived and studied under the Devil King should've made it no surprise for me to discover that holding something over my foe was enough to spark my mind again, breaking out of the ice that had been holding it.

With those thoughts, I opened my eyes, staring up through the willow leaves at the sun breaking through. Light always shines when things seem the worst. Pushing back up into a sitting position, I managed a smirk, brushing my hair free of grass, "Geez, I'm getting soft. Did I seriously let that tap rattle me this much?"

Practically leaping onto my feet, I pushed through the curtain, staring up at the main keep with a general's eyes. Ieyasu had left earlier, Tadakatsu's trail of smoke lingering slightly with the rest of the clouds, and Mitsunari was preparing his own troops for whatever they had planned for Lord Uesugi.

Folding my arms with that smirk still on my face, I chuckled, "The bigger they are, the harder they fall. No matter who you are, it always applies."

Walking across the bridge, I noted the setting sun, but decided I wasn't ready to head in yet. In all honesty, I didn't really care where I was going, so long as it wasn't the flowery garden Takenaka would look for me in. Numerous guards watched me step through their courtyard gates, probably unsure of whether or not to stop me, and yet not one of them seemed to notice where my path around the keep was taking me.

I probably wouldn't have noticed myself unless something hadn't caught my eye, making me turn as I walked, eyes staring at the main gate itself. The town was right outside, and just making it past there would be a major step. But I couldn't take it yet, not when the moment wasn't right.

Still staring at the shops and houses, I kept strolling, until my body collided with another, similarly distracted man. Both of us whipped round in shock, taking in each other's faces as the apologies died on our lips. "I've seen you somewhere before…haven't I?" Keiji Maeda asked, obviously trying hard to place my face as I reeled from the sight of his.

He was dressed in more formal attire, but his own touch was still there, his little monkey poking out of the front…oh what was his name…Yumekichi! "Yes, you have," I managed, stroking Yumekichi lightly with my finger, "It was at the Harvest festival in Oshu, two years ago. I had two little girls with me."

"That's right, they were desperate to see Yumekichi!" Keiji laughed, suddenly looking at the gate, "What are you doing here though?"

"A very long story." I shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. "May I ask you the same?"

"Politics. I had a meeting with Hideyoshi." The fact that he didn't elaborate told me everything, and I probably would've said something, if Keiji hadn't suddenly looked past my shoulder, "Hanbei."

"I'd better go then," I whispered, scurrying past him into the main entrance, "Good luck."

Slipping the sandals off in the porch, I stood on the step, looking back briefly as Keiji passed Takenaka, unaware of the choking behind him and the quick, fearful look the strategist aimed at his palm. Keeping my eyes on him, I steeled myself for when he realised I was standing there, one eyebrow raised. My message couldn't have been clearer, and this time it was he who looked away, the unspoken words hanging between us. As he strode past me without a word, I knew that now, he had no reason to doubt those childish words.

I know your secret.


We managed to avoid each other for around a day, during which I flicked idly through a book of poetry, hair slightly damp on my shoulders, wondering if I should light a candle now, just when I was getting comfy, or strain my eyes for another hour, and light one later. Considering the next poem looked fairly dry, I was about to get up, but was halted by the feel of a blade resting against the side of my throat, "Have you finally decided to execute me?"

"Don't be foolish," Takenaka chided, "Just sating some curiosity."

"Hurry up and sate it, I need to get a candle." Narrowing his eyes, Takenaka pulled the knife away, tucking it back on his person. Pushing my chair out, I strode over to the shelf, selecting a candle and taking my sweet time in lighting it. "Now, what's your problem?"

"I understand there's no point concealing what you already know, but you seem to have made a mistake."

"Do enlighten me."

As he came closer, I purposely kept my candle between us, a clear warning, even as he leant closer, to whisper in my ear, "I know your secret, Botan."

Snorting, I looked at him sideways, offering him the same answer I'd given Sora, "Which one?"

"Take your pick."

Son of a bitch. My uncertainty must've shown in my face, because he waved a hand at the table, inviting me to sit with an otherwise welcoming smile. Once he was across from me, his hands deposited something between us, my eyes widening as he lifted his fingers from it.

The pendant was a simple gold disc, engraved with a full bloomed peony. Unable to tear my eyes away from it, I simply listened, swallowing the lump in my throat, "I know that your noble blood only has half a claim to it, but that your father was accepted as head of his clan despite his marriage to a peasant woman, because his brother had no interest in staying in one place. You were rarely addressed by name within your family, as you were nicknamed Botan. When you were three-"

"These are things that any Hiroto ex-soldier could've told you." I snapped, more rattled than I'd ever want to admit. Leaning forwards, I delivered my words through gritted teeth, "They don't prove anything."

"Maybe not." Takenaka admitted, pushing the chain towards me an inch, "But then, you could've simply learnt my secret last night after Keiji left. It works both ways, Sayomi."

A laugh escaped my lips, sending him back slightly, "I have about as much interest in that secret as I have in you. But for all your posturing and intelligence, I know that you're nothing more than a murderer, weak enough to be told as much by a ronin." As I stood up, I realised I was shaking. Why was I shaking? Breathing hard, I forced myself to keep speaking, "Whatever part you played in my father's disgrace, however small, was enough for my uncle to damn you. I only wonder if you're as much of a coward as he was."

"Kazuki was no coward." Takenaka replied, all signs of his previous shock gone. "And Satoshi is a fool whose drunken words have no business in your mind."

"He's also the head of my clan. The head of my family."

"And now we stumble onto another secret, not mine or yours, but Satoshi's." Picking up the chain again, Takenaka held it out for me to take, smiling when I finally did. The warmth of his hands had transferred with it, the disc fitting perfectly in my palm. "Two necklaces, one gold and the other silver, both engraved with your namesake. The silver is worn by the heir, and is replaced by the gold when their time to lead arises. Satoshi wasn't worthy of the gold, and would've surrendered the silver to Tadashi in time."

Getting to his feet, Takenaka gestured to me, "But since your father's death, the Hiroto clan has only had one true heir. Before he died, Kazuki entrusted that to me, along with the neck it should have been around. It was my own failings that prevented me from doing so sooner."

"Why would my father pick you over his own brother?" I hissed, feeling my hackles rise, "Especially if it was you who caused his death in the first place."

Sighing, he withdrew something else from his pocket, again placing it between us. This time, I moved towards it of my own accord, fingers automatically reaching to stroke the doll, her name coming to me in an instant.

Sakura was not a fancy doll, and owed her material to an old sack rather than anything a noble child would be expected to play with. But the burlap did a far better job of getting stained with blood, and the right side of her body was still crusted an ugly brown.

As I took her in my hand, feeling along the familiar stitches, Takenaka finally spoke, "I served under the same lord as your father, a man called Tatsuoki Saito. But he wasn't ready to lead, and was far more interested in the debauchery his station allowed him. With Kazuki and sixteen others, I sought to take control of the castle and expose his foolishness for what it really was. But I miscalculated, and somehow one of your father's messages was intercepted and used as evidence of his treachery. I immediately put the plan on hold, so Kazuki could cover his tracks but it was already too late, and Rin had panicked. Because of her actions, Tatsuoki condemned Kazuki, but allowed him to commit seppuku. When I went to see him, he didn't ask me to overturn the sentence or act as his second. He only wanted you to be safe."

Fuzzy as my memory of that time should have been, I did remember the Saito soldier picking me up from my nursery and taking me away, finally setting me down next to a wrinkled old woman, my mother's mother. "My grandmother took care of me."

"I felt I had already risked my plan enough by showing you the favour I had. You don't remember the funeral, do you?"

"Of course I don't." I snapped, choking on the lie. I'd dreamt about it a few times on the road with my uncle. Proper dreams, not memories, as Satoshi would whisper to me each morning. All he'd have to do was ask if I was alone, and I'd know it was a fantasy. Because even though there were others with me, only one person had cared enough to stand with me the whole time, before taking me to pack. "I suppose you were there to witness the soldier pull me away?"

"No, I was the one to keep you from trying to join them." Spotting my doubt, he elaborated, "You wanted your father, or Tadashi, and was willing to bury yourself if it meant joining them."

I went deathly still, as those simple words unlocked everything about this mystery. And they did. I could almost feel the rain on my cheeks again, hear my screams echo as I fought someone hard, just wanting to see my father again. "Why did you let me go to my grandmother then?"

"As I said, I thought I couldn't risk taking you in so soon. Because of that, by the time the plan was put into action, your grandmother had died, and your uncle had taken you with him."

"You found us once." I reminded, "And I remembered you. Why not take me then?"

"I would have, if not for one thing. For all his faults, Satoshi clearly cared about you, and would've done anything to keep you safe. Which is why I have to ask, how did you come to stand by Oda's side?"

"Don't you know the legends?" My eyes began to mist, but cleared after some quick blinks, "The Young Blade was forged in the Sixth Heaven he ruled over."

"But what about Hiroto Sayomi? Where does she fit into that legend?"

She was just a little girl who ran in front of the right horse, convinced she'd seen her father in the crowd of people. He'd scoop her up and take her home, away from the confusion of the real world. Instead, she'd ended up in the arms of a very different father. "She doesn't." I finally admitted.

"That I can believe." Takenaka nodded, finally turning to leave. Like he always did though, he stopped before reaching the door, "Your house still stands, by the way. Nobody has been allowed to touch it."

Sakura still safe in my hands next to the pendant, I nodded, refusing to look at him, "I'll never go back to it."

"Rin left something there for you. She really was a talented woman, you know."

"I don't care." Turning away from him so he could leave without seeing the first tear fall, I lasted right up until the door hit the frame, and then the lump in my throat finally worked its way out, creating a noise I'd forgotten I could make.