Lord Uesugi clung onto Ieyasu longer than I'd anticipated, giving him enough time to tell us of the solid alliance before the pair disappeared into Uesugi's actual camp, which turned out to be further back than the scouts had looked in the first place. Only Kasuga, Keiji and Tadakatsu went with them, although, the vagabond seemed reluctant to tear his eyes away from Magoichi when he saw her.
The victory party started as soon as we got back, soldiers taking off their armour and pulling out small instruments and creating a reasonable approximation of music. Hanzo took Kotone away from the camp for when the battle shock left her, and because he was better suited to dealing with the aftermath than I was at present. Especially since he had been the first one to reach her after she near enough sliced one of Uesugi's men in half. He'd spent the last half of the battle keeping her close, ready to anchor her.
The crowd nearest the band was less a dancing circle than it was a mad scramble to keep footing on the snow, but it didn't stop everyone piling in at least once. At least they kept the majority of eyes off of Ieyasu when he returned at last, slipping into his tent with only a cursory glance at the party meant for his side's win. The laughter dropped from my face, and when the song ended and the musicians discussed what to play next, I stepped out of the circle with ease, Master Katakura following me with relief that he had an excuse now.
Quickly peeking through the gap in the flaps to make sure I wasn't interrupting anything, I invited myself in, clearing my throat when Ieyasu didn't turn to look at me. "I thought it was the duty of every commander to celebrate with his men?"
"I'm just not up to it right now."
"Something Lord Uesugi said?" I took a seat on the floor next to him, craning my head to try and see past his hands to his face. "Do I need to punch a War God in the teeth?"
"Sayomi…"
I couldn't blame him, the joke was weak. "Yeah, you're right. Do I need to get Tadakatsu to punch a War God in the teeth?" He didn't even sigh in annoyance this time.
It took a few seconds before he finally moved his hands, speaking to the air in front of us. "What do you see, when you look at me?"
"That's a weird question."
"Just answer it, please?" My eyes narrowed slightly, wondering just what Lord Uesugi had said to him.
But I obeyed, looking over him, choosing my words carefully. "I see my first real friend, someone who grew up into a great man." I reached for one of his hands, "Someone who has the potential to be even greater, if they keep going."
"Do you ever see Lord Shingen?"
I didn't waste time in shaking my head, before I actually considered the matter, "Sometimes. Like when you're being really passionate, or when you fight. But it's quieter in you, sleeping almost. Somehow, Lord Takeda managed to make a different breed teaching you whatever he did." Taking a breath at last, I repeated my former question, "Now, do I or Tadakatsu need to punch someone or not?"
"Did you know we've been in Kawanakajima the whole time?" He was really intent on making me work for this punch.
"After Keiji saw fit to enlighten me."
"I feel like I'm taking Lord Shingen's place, like I'm betraying his memory before he's even gone." Ieyasu covered his eyes again, letting my hand flop back between us, "Lord Kenshin told me we have the same kind of eyes."
"What did you tell him?"
"That if we have the same eyes, it's because I try to reflect Lord Shingen's teachings."
Despite myself, I smiled, making sure he could see it, "Then why are you worried? I said the tiger in you sleeps until it's needed. He was paying you a compliment, quite a big one if what Keiji told me means anything."
"What did he tell you?" It was my turn to look at the space in front of us, lips forming Keiji's words even while they echoed in my mind.
For Kenshin, the balance has tipped in his favour, and he isn't sure how to deal with it. There's no Tiger of Kai to stop him coating the entirety of Kawanakajima in ice and snow. He can't even help Yukimura with his grief, even though he's known the Cub for years. Today's about finding out if Ieyasu is firm enough in his desire to unite everyone to accept help, and I don't mean military.
Ieyasu considered my words for some time before ducking his head and making a sound that could only just be called a laugh, "It's like I said to Magoichi. Lord Kenshin and Lord Shingen will always try to play the mentor."
"I think it's more than just play." I said, tossing my opinion into the mixing pot, "I mean, their generation has almost gone. They have to make sure ours is capable of holding the country together. With Lord Takeda ill, maybe Lord Uesugi's taking a more active role to compensate." Struggling to my feet and dusting my skirt off, I folded my arms with a smirk, "Now, am I going to have to go back out there on my own, or are you going to celebrate with your men?"
Giving a mock groan, Ieyasu clambered to his feet, following me outside in time for the next song. Now that their commander was in the vicinity, the foot-soldiers perked up a little more, some even cheering when Mizu tugged him into the dancing when her partner managed to escape for five seconds. "I don't know how she does it." Masamune huffed, taking a long breath to stop his head from spinning.
"Pent up from pre-battle panic and her bout of miserableness." Clapping my hands in time to the music, I almost missed Kotone passing by, face hidden by her fringe until it lunged upwards, a smile on her face as she joined the fun. "How'd it go?" I asked, glancing to the side when Hanzo was close enough.
"She didn't do anything, just walked next to me."
"Eh?!" Both Masamune and I whipped our heads round, "You mean…"
"No crying, screaming, panicking…She didn't even heave." Face frozen into shock, I moved my head to watch Ieyasu twirl Kotone around, a content smile on her face.
It was Masamune who finally said what we were all thinking, "This is going to be ugly."
Other than Kotone, our tent had three trained warriors in residence, none of which were stupid enough to let their guards down the first night after a victory. That was why, before the sun had even poked up over the hills, the sound of someone whimpering had all of us sitting ramrod straight, Mizu and Magoichi brandishing a weapon each, while my hand lay on my sword. In a similar manner, it took very little time to identify the issue, Mizu giving me a look, while Magoichi set her pistol down harmlessly.
Pinching the corners of my eyes to wake me up some more, I crept over and rested a hand on Kotone's shoulder. Like the morning before, she instantly stilled, this time peeking out at me. "Come on, we're going for a walk." I didn't wait for her reply, just slung her cloak at her and parted the tent flaps, thanking every god up there that Uesugi's snow had already started to withdraw. I had only a second to wait before Kotone joined me, swaying again on her feet, but following me when I started walking.
The whole time, I only glanced back to make sure she was still following me, and even that was done sparingly. When we were far enough away to be out of sight of the camp, but not its scouts, I chose a random spot on the floor and sat down, watching her through narrowed eyes, before shrugging and acting nonchalant, "Did I ever tell you about my first battle?"
"You were ten."
"I was, and a moody little brat too. Thought I had to prove something. Guess what? I didn't."
She had the good grace to avert her eyes, "I don't know what you mean." She whispered.
"As much as people give Oda flack for sending me in, it was as much my decision as it was his. And even he called me out on it." I took a breath and let my tone soften a bit, "Nobody Kotone, and I mean nobody expects you to just shrug yesterday off. Not me, not Hanzo, nobody." Giving her a few seconds to take that in, I gently placed my hand on her shoulder, absorbing the flinch that wracked her body, "It doesn't have to be one of us, hell, I don't care if you talk to the horses about it. But it isn't just going to go away. Just please, talk to somebody about it."
I honestly didn't expect her to speak. But, after fighting with her words, opening her mouth and closing it nearly a dozen time, she finally managed a whispered sentence, "I thought it would be hard, or scary, but it was easy." Her knees came up to her chest, Kotone wrapping her arms around them as she continued, "It was me or them. Either I killed them, or they killed me."
"Alright." It was one of the standard lines a soldier came out with, something to cling to when your mind turned darkest.
Kotone's mind though, seemed to have already dipped into that awful area, "Then I remembered the village. What did we do, that they decided it was us or them?" Her bottom lip started to shake, "Why did they have to kill everyone? What was so threatening about Chihiro, or the twins? What did they see in three seconds that meant we had to die?"
I pulled my cloak around my hand and raised it to her cheek, sweeping gently. Some questions aren't so easy to answer, especially when the answer was worse than the question itself. Besides, I got the impression that it wasn't an answer that Kotone really wanted.
We stayed like that for maybe half an hour before Hanzo found us. Without a word he scooped Kotone into his arms, holding still until her breathing turned heavy again, and we were free to start walking.
We went back to camp together, got a gun pointed at us when we entered our tent, and set Kotone back on her bed to finish the night's sleep. Hanzo saluted to the still glaring Magoichi, and left, while I retrieved my sword and took up vigil near Kotone, head testing on the tip on the hilt.
No more nightmares attacked her sleep, and she awoke a decent amount of hours later, in a better state than she had been before. That was more than I could say for me though, and I spent the majority of the journey back sleeping on poor Hanzo, while Kotone rode ahead with the others. The castle had very little fanfare when we got back, but I found my uncle in the garden with the kids, Yori asleep in his lap, and Hotaru at his side. I hung back instead of approaching right away, watching the admiration stream through Hotaru's eyes like honey, hanging onto every word from Satoshi's mouth. "And having proven himself as a warrior, the prince returned to his home and married the woman he dreamed, making her a princess, and both of their dreams come true. The end." Hotaru gave a wistful sigh; that little girl fascination hanging about longer than the princess did.
But then I started closer and she looked up, "Sayomi, you're back!"
"And in one piece too." Satoshi chuckled, easily handing Yori off to her, "Go on, we had a deal."
"But I want to see Kojuro first!" Hotaru whined. She might've even stamped her foot if it hadn't been for her armful.
"Fine, go see him then get Yori to bed for me, there's a good girl." Pouting, Hotaru went on her way, giving Satoshi the freedom to do what he had probably wanted to do the whole time he was telling that story.
I had the good grace to let him get a lungful of tobacco before starting in on him, "Telling her fairy stories? She'll find out one day it's not true."
"Ah, I wouldn't be so cynical Botan. I used to tell you the same story. You always loved hearing how your parents met." He added when I raised an eyebrow.
But I couldn't resist a final jab, "You mean, your saint of a brother and his bitch of a wife?"
It was well worth saying just to see him choke on his pipe. "For the love of- You seriously remember me saying that?"
"I was five and it was a bad word. Of course I remember it."
"I was drunk!"
"I know, the maids hated you for weeks after you left. It took them nearly that long to get the puke out."
Satoshi grinned at the memory, taking a long draw, "So, what's wrong with a few fairy stories?"
"Ask me again when you've decided whether or not to throw Hotaru at the enemy next." I kept my tone stern and my arms folded. But it was probably the fact that the ashes in his pipe chose then to sputter out that made Satoshi react,
"Ah shit. I mean, is the kid okay?"
"She didn't react to slicing a man in half, had nightmares bad enough to wake everyone up, but hey, we have time to help her." The last part was delivered with a sneer, Satoshi actually holding his hands up in surrender.
"Alright, alright, you've made your point. I'll see what I can do for her." Nodding to him, I told him I'd left her with his swords and walked away, already unstrapping my armguards.
