Elizabeth had never been as miserable as she was back at home. She had complained of London and Birmingham, but she would happily swap the mansion she was locked in for those streets again. She would swap anything for being back with Tommy. She had tried to write to him, begging for Mary to take her letters, but the woman was as scared as a mouse.
Liz had often spoken against her brother, asking him why he hadn't signed up to join the war as of yet. He looked at her with annoyance, informing her that he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to do. Liz suspected he had refused to volunteer and she wondered how long it would be before conscription took place. She read every day of how the war was worsening. She read of the deaths and the horrors the men faced. She could only stare at the engagement ring she held with the paper, praying that it wasn't her Tommy who was injured.
Liz was unsure of how much time passed before 1916 came around. Conscription saw thousands more men heading to war, but Billy Kimber was not one of them. Liz had no idea how her brother had saved his own skin, but she only wished that he hadn't. Times were tough in the manor. The serving staff had been enlisted and Billy found himself with few workers. However, horse racing was the last thing on anyone's mind.
Trying to find out who had informed Billy of Liz's whereabouts was fruitless for Billy said nothing. He only told her that trusting people was a foolish notion and laughed at her naivety. She had walked away from him, her head held high as she went.
Every time she tried to leave the manor he would be there, stopping her from setting a foot out the door unless it was with him. She felt like a prisoner, trapped in her own home. The only solace she found was by writing letters to Tommy each day, informing him of her love for him and how she wished he could be back with her. The drawer of her desk was practically full, yet no one would help her. She didn't trust the maids at all, knowing full well that they would give the letters to her brother if they found them. And Mary was too scared.
"Another wagon of wounded men returned to Birmingham today."
Liz often found solace in her daily strolls around the garden with Mary and today was no exception. Both women felt lost with the war raging on. Liz had turned twenty one and she felt as though she should be doing something to help. Volunteers were being cried out for, yet Billy wouldn't let her entertain the idea of helping the less fortunate.
"Another?" Liz exclaimed, sending a silent prayer that it wasn't her Tommy. "That will be the fifth of the week. More casualties are being sent home than ever before. How long do you suppose the war will rage on for now?"
"Who can tell?" Mary asked of her. "Three years has passed us by and we have done nothing to help the injured men or the people at home who are suffering. I feel useless."
"I understand that feeling perfectly well," Liz grumbled. "But Billy has us under his constant watch. I only wish that he had been sent to war, perhaps then we may be able to live in peace."
"Don't say such horrid things," Mary said and Liz looked at her sceptically. She often wondered what it was Mary felt for her husband. She did not love him. She was petrified of him. Why would she want him to stay here and terrorise them? Liz could not understand it, nor did she wish to try.
"I speak only my mind," Liz said. "And I am in half a mind to go down to the village and offer my services. To hell with Billy Kimber."
"And what do you think he will do to you?" Mary whispered, bending forwards slightly to stretch her neck to look at Liz. "Do you think that he will take kindly to that, Liz? You know he is not opposed to using his fists…even against his sister."
Liz looked down to the ground then. She knew that to be true. Billy would often find some kind of enjoyment from watching Liz crumple beneath him, only to bend down and hold her to him, telling her that this would never have happened if she was obedient and didn't challenge him.
"There is only so much damage he can do," Liz whispered.
"And he won't take kindly to people asking how his sister ended up with a black eye, will he?" Mary wondered from Liz, her brow arched as her sister in law gave in with a sigh of defeat. "You can sit here and complain all you want to, but nothing shall change."
"When the war ends it will," Liz whispered.
She had faith that Tommy would come back. She still had hope that he would return to her and find out where she was. He had to know that she would never abandon him. He had to realise that she could never leave him. She had told him things she had never told anyone else.
"Do you still think that Thomas Shelby will return for you?" Mary wondered.
Mary was the only one Liz had told of Tommy. She had indulged Liz for a while, but then she had been honest. The girl had to know the dangers of war. The chances of Thomas Shelby returning home were growing slimmer by the day. Mary knew that, but Liz refused to acknowledge it.
"I know he will," Liz said. If she didn't hope then what chance did she truly have?
….
It had taken its toll on Tommy. War was slowly causing him to lose his mind and being a sapper had brought him to the brink of death on more than one occasion. Tommy hadn't minded digging tunnels to begin with. He didn't think it to be a dangerous job. He thought that it would be simple. Of course, that was until his tunnel had met with a German's tunnel. There had been no time to react with rational and so Tommy had done what had been necessary. He had dodged the shots the men had sent his way. He had done what was possible to stay alive, thinking of his Liz.
He had told the men of her in the trenches; informing them of how she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. They had laughed and joked with him, asking why he had no photo of her. The worrying part was that Tommy had nothing of her.
She had seemingly gone missing. He had begged Aunt Pol to discover her whereabouts, but the woman had come up with nothing. She had sent her empty words back to Tommy and the man had almost felt a sharp pain in his chest. She had to be somewhere. Tommy refused to acknowledge that she had gone missing. She simply couldn't go missing.
Tommy had tried Dorothy again, but the woman responded curtly. Liz had not been to London in over two years. Thoughts weighed heavily on Tommy's mind, but he knew that he could not leave the war now. If he left then he would be branded a coward. He knew that much. But he would go to her. He would go to England and he would search the entire country if he had to. Liz deserved that much.
…
Aunt Pol had felt sick ever since she lied to Tommy. She had been unable to tell him the truth of what had happened to Elizabeth Kimber. She knew that it would only fill Tommy with rage and worry. She also knew what he would do when he returned home. He would have no problem with going to Kimber's manor and demanding for Elizabeth to be given back to him. And it was Aunt Pol who worried what would happen if he did that.
She had warned him that being with Elizabeth had been dangerous. She had told him that the girl would get him into trouble, and that would certainly be true if Billy Kimber had any idea what his sister intended to do. Pol had seen the papers three days after Tommy had gone. She had seen how Elizabeth Kimber had been reunited with her brother, safe and sound. She had heard nothing since then, nor did she want to. It would only mean that she had to lie to Tommy.
"Is that Tommy?"
Ada had been a great help during the war. She was slowly becoming a woman and would keep the house tidy along with cooking meals whilst Pol ran the business. She sat down at the table next to Pol, a cup of tea in her fingertips as she sipped at the hot liquid slowly.
"Aye," Pol nodded. "He was in the infirmary for a while. He is well, but he has not seen Arthur and John in a week or so."
Ada nodded. "He will do," she assured Pol. "And has he asked about 'er again?"
Pol sighed and folded the letter, placing it flat on the table and allowing her fingertips to rest on top of it. "What do you think?"
"He always asks," Ada whispered, looking to the ground. "Is it fair that we keep this from 'im? We know where she is-"
"-And what do you think would happen if Tommy knew?" Pol asked from Ada. "He would go out of his 'ead with worry about what Billy Kimber is doing to 'er…he…he cannot go and get 'imself involved with the Kimbers."
Ada looked back to Pol, wondering why they still had this debate after two years of the war. They always went round and round in circles. "But he is goin' out of his mind worrying about 'er now. He doesn't know where she is, Aunt Pol. What do you think he will do when he comes 'ome?"
"We will think of that when he comes home," Pol hastily spoke, looking to Ada with that narrowed and dangerous gaze she had mastered. "I panicked back then, Ada. I thought it was the right thing to do…hide the truth from Tommy."
"But he is worrying now, Aunt Pol," Ada quickly stated. "We are doing this to 'im…causin' 'im to worry and go out of his mind. God, he may think she is layin' dead in a ditch somewhere. Surely the truth is better than that?"
Pol sighed and sipped on her tea, looking to the ceiling for a few moments. She knew that Ada had a point. Tommy should know where she is. He should know that she was back home. But Pol worried what he would do. She worried that he would come back here and get killed by Billy Kimber. Maybe it was for the best for him to think that she had gone. She was nothing but trouble and Pol knew that. She was a Kimber.
"Tommy should be nowhere near 'er," Pol whispered and looked down to the table, closing her eyes and wondering if she had it in her heart to break Tommy's heart. "She is dangerous, Ada."
Ada's eyes widened and she leaned forward in the chair she sat in, her hands folded on the table and her mouth agape. "But Tommy loves 'er."
Pol scoffed at that word, rolling her eyes and looking back to her niece. "Love?" Pol responded. "Love will get Tommy killed if he comes back 'ere and goes after that girl. She is sweet, Ada. I know that, but she is dangerous…and…Tommy is in trouble now…if he comes back…Ada…if he comes back he could be in even more danger if he goes after 'er."
Ada took a deep breath and moved to take hold of Pol's hand, squeezing it tightly inside of hers. Pol put on a brave face, but she was worried and Ada could see it. She was a family-orientated woman and she spent every morning waking up and worrying that the day would come when she had no family left. The war was tearing them all apart and Pol didn't know how to fix it. She was used to fixing problems, but nothing could fix war.
"We can't keep this from 'im forever," Ada whispered. "He doesn't deserve to be lied to."
"But he deserves to be kept safe," Pol whispered, "they all do…and she is not safe."
"This business is not safe, Pol," Ada hissed.
"But it is not life-threatening," Pol retaliated. "Billy Kimber is. You saw what his father did to his mother. He killed 'er, Ada. The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree."
Ada pursed her lips, knowing full well that she was unable to argue with Pol. The older woman would never back down on her opinion, and Ada could understand why she was feeling the way she was feeling. Ada loved her brothers more than anything, but she was worried for all of them. She could understand why Pol wanted Tommy to find someone other than Liz. But he didn't deserve to be lied to. It was difficult for all of them, but, mainly, it was the most difficult for Tommy.
…
A/N: I am so sorry for not updating in a while, life gets in the way! Hope you will review and let me know what you think!
