Elizabeth could barely do anything but pace for the entire morning. She had quickly dressed and gone downstairs. Her hands were on her hips as she moved through the entrance hall, her dress catching around her skirts. She didn't know what to do. She had no idea where Tommy had gone. She had no idea how to find him or where he could be. She had no idea how to get him out of the mess he had found himself in.
It was only at eleven a.m. when a knock on the door sounded. Elizabeth moved with haste, pulling the door open to reveal Pol stood there, a basket in her fingertips. Groaning, Elizabeth held the door open for Pol and the woman stepped in, looking Elizabeth up and down and noting her unkempt hair and her pained expression.
"What's he done this time?" Pol asked, knowing full well that Tommy must have done something.
"I do not know," Elizabeth declared, moving through the house and towards the kitchen as Pol followed her, noting how her shaking hands continued to run up and down the skirts of her dress. "He went out this morning and told me it was business. I think that it is related to Churchill, but I cannot be sure. He said nothing about it to me."
Pol placed the basket of food on the table and moved to take hold of Elizabeth by the shoulders, stopping her from picking up the kettle and placing it on the hob. Elizabeth looked Pol in the eye s the matriarch looked sternly at her.
"Sit down," she urged her. "This stressin' ain't doin' yer baby any good."
"How can he do this?" Elizabeth asked, doing as Pol had said and sitting down at the wooden kitchen table, her hands moving to her face as she wiped away the moisture pooling in the corner of her eye. "He promised me he would not keep secrets, yet he does. He claims it is to protect me, but he just makes me worry more."
"Would you worry more if you knew, though?"
"I would rather know than sit here and guess," she responded. "I do not understand what he could want Tommy to do."
"Yer guess is as good as anyone's," Pol said and began to let the kettle boil over the stove while grabbing the pot along with two saucers and teacups. She placed them on the worktop beside the stove before sitting down and looking to Elizabeth.
"Yer knew what yer were getting yerself involved with when yer married Tommy," Pol said and Elizabeth shook her head.
"No," she replied. "Tommy promised to run away with me. We went to London to make a fresh start, but he got himself involved in all of this business when we were dragged to Sabini's club."
"Tommy is a man who doesn't want the quiet life," Pol informed Elizabeth.
"But is he a man who wants to risk his life?" Elizabeth retorted. "Because I have heard the nightmares he has. I am the one who helps him recover from them…the nightmares where he is back in France…back digging those tunnels…"
Pol kept silent while Elizabeth nodded once and then looked to the stairs, wondering if Tommy would come down those steps sooner or later. She missed him. She could not deny that she was worried more than she had ever been worried before.
"Whatever Tommy is involved in is somethin' that he will deal with."
"But I'm his wife," Elizabeth complained.
"And yer unable to 'elp 'im," Pol retorted and Elizabeth looked shocked at the harsh tone from Pol, yet she was not that surprised. Pol was known for being brash and brutal when she needed to be. Shaking her head, Pol folded one leg over the other under the table.
"Whatever it is Churchill wants is nothin' to do with us," Pol said.
"But it is," Elizabeth responded. "He is my husband and I am having his child. He cannot keep running off with no explanation. That is not the way I want our marriage to be."
"Aye, but what yer goin' to do about it, eh?" Pol asked. "Yer never goin' to leave 'im, are yer?"
"Of course not," Elizabeth declared. "But I am going to talk to him about this. If he thinks I am just going to sit here and be his dutiful wife then he better think again."
Chuckling, Pol nodded and stood up, moving to check on the boiling water while Elizabeth ran a hand over her stomach, thinking of the child inside of her.
"So the mouse 'as a voice," Pol said and Elizabeth smirked, looking down to the table. "Yer know the girls in the family didn't know if yer had what it took to be a Shelby. We're still not sure. Yer nothin' like the type of girl we thought Tommy would go for."
"Just because I keep quiet doesn't mean that I don't know how to argue," Elizabeth informed them and Pol then chuckled, pouring the boiling water into the tea pot before moving to sit at the kitchen table.
"I 'ave no doubt that you and Tommy can argue like the rest of 'em," Pol declared. "But yer just argue in the comfort of yer own home. You don't make a scene…you keep quiet at family events…latch onto Tommy…but once yer get to know someone yer not scared to speak yer mind."
"It was how I was raised," Elizabeth informed Pol as the elder woman poured her a cup of tea, handing her the saucer the teacup sat on. "I was never taught to speak my mind. I was always taught that it was better to be seen rather than heard. A woman's place was to sit and listen to the men, never to challenge them."
Pol watched as Elizabeth spoke, noticing how the girl seemed to be going back to her past life as she sipped on her tea and then continued to talk in a hushed tone.
"When I was with Billy I tried to stand on my own two feet again, but it caused me nothing but trouble. Billy would hit me…yell at me…and to begin with I tried to fight back, but I couldn't do it in the end. I didn't know how long the war would go on for. It seemed as though it was never ending and I…I just stopped being who I was when I was with Tommy. I went back to the little girl who was scared of her brother.
"But now I'm trying," Elizabeth spoke. "I am trying to be strong, but it is difficult. It is so difficult when Tommy is continuously pushing me and making me worry…and sometimes…if it isn't Tommy having nightmares then it is me."
Nodding, Pol seemed to understand what she was hearing from the girl. Moving closer to her, Pol pressed her hand onto Liz's stomach, noticing how the bump was slowly protruding from her body.
"Do not be strong for Tommy," Pol whispered. "But be strong for the one inside of you. Men are complicated creatures and Tommy is no different. There will be times when you want to murder 'im…times when yer think you can do without him…or he can do without you, but yer need to remember that the baby inside of you will always need you to be strong for him or her. Yer children always need yer to be strong for 'em, despite what they might think."
Pol kept her hand on Elizabeth's stomach as Elizabeth looked down to her bump before looking to Pol and giving her a thoughtful stare.
"Thank you," she whispered to Pol, not entirely sure why she was thanking her for, but she knew that the woman had spoken sense into her. She had imparted wisdom and that was something that Pol did not do often with Elizabeth.
"We should start unpacking the rest of yer things," Pol merely spoke, slurping on her tea before standing up and moving away.
…..
Elizabeth didn't hear from Tommy until that evening. The sun was slowly setting and she was stood in the kitchen, preparing dinner for that evening. She was slowly cooking a chicken breast while vegetables boiled in a pan. She moved around the kitchen, laying the table as she went. Her worry for Tommy was still there, but the words that Pol had said to her were still going round in her mind.
"Liz."
She turned around when she heard him call her name. He carried his cap in his hands and his coat over his arm before draping both of them over a chair. Looking to him, Elizabeth tilted her hip and wiped her hands on the towel before throwing it over her shoulder.
"Chicken and vegetables for dinner," Elizabeth spoke.
"Good," Tommy said.
"Brilliant," Elizabeth replied and Tommy knew that he was receiving some form of attitude from her. No doubt she was still angry with him after the morning.
He couldn't see her as she turned around and went back to cooking, but she gave a small smile of relief that he was back and safe. Her shaking hands slowly stopped their movements while her face turned red with relief.
Listening intently, she heard Tommy pull out a chair and sit down, the familiar sound of his lighter clicking as he lit himself a cigarette and drew a deep breath before placing it into his mouth.
"Churchill didn't want anythin'," Tommy finally spoke.
"Oh," Elizabeth tried to act nonchalant before picking up her fourth cup of tea of the day and sipping on it.
Frowning, Tommy wondered why she had yet to turn and look at him, but she said nothing. She kept silent before she went back to check the vegetables in the pan.
"He just wanted to make sure I was ready and willin'," Tommy said.
"And I assume you said that you were?" Elizabeth asked from him and placed the lid back on, bringing the food to the boil before picking up her cup again and turning to look at Tommy, sipping on the drink while arching her brows in his direction.
"What other choice do I 'ave?" Tommy asked of her.
"None," Elizabeth replied. "But heaven forbid you tell your wife where you were going."
Rolling his eyes, Tommy continued to smoke before standing up and reaching for the bottle of whiskey he kept in the cupboard in the corner. He grabbed hold of it along with a small glass and Elizabeth shook her head.
"Is that your reaction? To turn to alcohol?" Elizabeth demanded from him.
"I'll need it if we are goin' to 'ave this conversation," Tommy said and Elizabeth scoffed before shrugging her shoulders and throwing the towel she held on the table Tommy had gone to sit at again. Bending slightly, she placed her hands on the wooden surface before glaring to her husband.
"So my concern drives you to drink?" she demanded from him. "So every time we have to talk about something you might not like to talk about, you intend to drink?"
Keeping quiet, Tommy downed the alcohol as though that was his answer. Shaking her head, she laughed in disbelief before pulling the apron she wore off of her body, leaving her in her simple blue dress before she stormed out the kitchen.
"Cook your dinner," she snapped at him.
Groaning inside, Tommy did his best not to snap at her before he moved to his feet, stubbing his cigarette out before moving to follow Elizabeth up the steps and through the mansion. He saw her walking through the entrance hall and into the sitting room, her footsteps stomping with anger.
"Liz," he called after her. "How about we be mature about this, eh?"
"I am being mature," Elizabeth hissed, turning to look at Tommy once she was in the room and stood behind the settee. "I tried to have a civilised conversation with my husband this morning, but instead of doing that he kept a secret from me. He kept a secret like a petulant child."
"Me?" Tommy asked, pointing to his chest as Elizabeth shrugged.
"I only have one husband," Elizabeth retorted.
"I told you that what I did was to protect yer."
"I do not want your protection," Elizabeth snapped at him. "I want you to be honest with me. I want you to stop hiding things from me. Do you know how infuriating it is? How would you feel if I hid things from you?"
Keeping quiet, Tommy said nothing for a moment as Elizabeth placed her hands on the back of the seat, trying to deduce what Tommy was thinking.
"I know you think that I need protecting," Elizabeth continued. "But I have to be strong enough to be able to cope with whatever comes our way. I am married to you. I want us to share each other's problems."
"But after everythin' you've been through…Billy…Sabini…"
"I know," Elizabeth said. "But keeping secrets does not protect me, it only makes me worry further."
"Right."
Tommy said nothing else as Elizabeth nodded her head in agreement. She frowned once but remained still. She only moved from the sitting room once she realised that the vegetables had probably boiled over. She walked past Tommy, but he took hold of her by the arm, his fingers wrapping around her arm as he stopped her.
"We done now?" Tommy asked and she shrugged, still not entirely happy with Tommy.
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I guess so."
…
Elizabeth sat up in bed, braiding her wet hair after having a bath before bed. Tommy had been working in his study for the entire evening. Dinner had been a tense affair with both of them not saying much to each other. They had never truly argued beforehand. They had disagreed, but they had never argued. Elizabeth didn't like it. She hated arguing with Tommy, but she was still annoyed with him. She understood his point of view, but that did not mean that she could not be angry.
"I'm off into Birmingham tomorrow."
Elizabeth looked over to Tommy as he closed the door to their bedroom and began to peel out of his waistcoat.
"On a Sunday?" Elizabeth wondered.
"Family business," Tommy said. "You can come if yer want. Pol was goin' to cook us all a dinner."
"I should," Elizabeth agreed with him.
"And do yer think we can go and be civil?" Tommy asked. "Because you've barely said two words to me since dinner."
"You went and holed yourself up in your study," Elizabeth replied. "Besides, are we still not upset with each other?"
Tommy shrugged, pulling his loose bottoms onto his body while he tugged his white shirt from his body. She shook her head before she saw Tommy move to the bed. He pulled his side of the duvet down before settling himself underneath the covers.
"I'm not upset with yer," Tommy assured her. "But I know yer still upset with me."
"No," Elizabeth said. "Well, yes, I am…I am still upset that you did not want to tell me the truth, but I understand why you do it."
"I just think it's safer for yer not to know what is 'appenin'…that way no one can hurt yer. No one can hurt yer like Campbell did…use yer against me."
"I know," Elizabeth promised him. "But I would rather know, Tommy."
"I get that," Tommy informed her.
Moving to his wife, Tommy let his hand wander to the end of her braid, his fingers twirling into the locks before he moved to kiss her softly on the neck. She said nothing for a moment as Tommy gently tugged her head back and she moaned lowly as he nipped at her skin.
"No," Elizabeth spoke. "I'm supposed to be upset with you."
"Aye," Tommy said. "But this is much more fun. Besides I want yer to know…I want yer to know how much yer mean to me…why I keep things from yer to protect yer…why I just keep yer safe…everything I do is for yer."
She nodded at him, her hands moving to his cheeks as she forced him to look her in the eye before she kissed him squarely on the lips.
"Then no more secrets," Elizabeth urged from him. "No more."
Nodding, Tommy agreed with her then, but said nothing more as he moved to press his lips to hers once again.
…
A/N: Let me know what you think!
