Natasha felt Steve watching her before she opened her eyes. Even after years of civilian life, she hadn't completely lost her edge. "It's got to be early. You should be sleeping," she said, turning to face him. "I'm sure you haven't really rested since before the time heist. How long ago was that for you?"

Steve looked up at the ceiling. "I'm not completely sure. A week, give or take a day. We reversed the Snap after everyone got back." He paused. "Well, almost everyone. You were missed."

"I've heard. Thor tells the story every time he visits. I think he embellishes it a little more each time, but I got the gist. Thanos attacked right after. I know you, Steve. You didn't rest long. The mission wasn't over."

"No, I guess I didn't. I was grieving. We had to get through the memorial services. Yours was at the farm. Clint insisted on keeping it small. Said that's what you'd want."

"He wasn't wrong. I'm guessing you left right after Tony's."

Steve nodded. There was a little light flickering in from the window. It was just enough for Natasha to see the anguish in his eyes. She wanted to make it go away. She wanted to make her own sorrow and confusion disappear, too, but words weren't going to help.

They just lay in silence for awhile. They weren't touching anymore. She wasn't sure which of them moved during the night, but she was grateful. Too much touching right now wouldn't help either of them, but she missed the closeness. Finally Steve reached over and took her hand. "Do you realize when I woke up yesterday morning, you were dead? Then you weren't and everything else happened. Suddenly, I was looking at our four-year old son. I guess it's fair to say I didn't sleep well last night. I know things are difficult, but I'm really glad you stayed with me. I'm trying really hard not to be selfish, Nat. I know you need time, but I need you in whatever way I can have you."

Natasha squeezed his hand. "If anyone's earned the right to be a little selfish, it's you. You don't have to do this alone. I'll be here with you every step of the way. Everyone is going to want to help."

"It will be nice to clear my name. They must have been pretty mad. I guess I'll be lucky if I don't get punched again."

Natasha was about to reassure him he had nothing to worry about from their friend when her phone rang. Oh, God, only one person would be calling her at this hour. She didn't dare reach for her phone. "Don't you think you should get that?" Steve asked. "Maybe it's about James."

Before she could stop him, he reached across her and picked up the phone. He didn't answer, but she knew he saw the name on the screen. It was Matt. "Just let it ring, please. I'll deal with it later," she said. Later would be better. Later, she wouldn't be in bed with another man. Later, she could let him down easy.

Steve put the phone back on the bedside table and sighed. "You don't look surprised. Morning phone calls happen pretty often, I'm guessing."

"I told him how I used to go days without talking to anyone," she said. "You know how it was during those years after the Snap, how I was. I was practically a hermit." She looked at Steve. Even telling him any of this felt like a betrayal. She felt so guilty for sharing the details of her life with another man now that the man she used to rely so heavily on was back.

Intellectually, she knew there was nothing wrong with telling Matt things, but now she hated that she'd ever said anything about those days to anyone else. "Your visits were my only human contact most of the time. When Matt found out, he started calling every morning. It was just his way of making sure I knew I had something to look forward to other than yelling at security guards and discussing Paw Patrol with an almost four year old. James is great. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and Alexi is always hovering. It was just nice to have a conversation every day where the focus wasn't on what I needed to do, you know? It doesn't matter now. I'm going to end it."

Steve let out a long hopeless sigh. "He makes you happy. Maybe you shouldn't end it. Does James like him? I don't want to make things harder on our son or you. We can just raise James like we talked about at your place, as friends."

"James doesn't know about Matt. He was supposed to meet him this weekend. It's not happening. I knew that much the second I saw you on my floor." The image of her son's face as he told her Steve was in her house came to mind. Even before James knew Steve was his father, he idolized Captain America. No matter how many times, her son told her she was his favorite Avenger, she never bought it. He was a Cap fan. "I'm ending it. This is sticky enough. It was just supposed to be fun. I'd never actually been on a real date before. How pathetic is that? I kept pushing you to get out there and meet someone, but I never did it myself."

"I guess you and I kind of skipped that step. I wish I could say I would have given you what he's given you, but I don't think our relationship would have been like that. Are you sure you don't love him?"

Natasha rolled over so that she could pull Steve into her arms. It wasn't a passionate embrace. It was just a way to comfort him, and, maybe, herself. "I wouldn't have wanted what I had with Matt with you. I wanted so much more with you. Do you think we would have made it?"

He kissed her temple. "Not a doubt in my mind."

They were still holding each other when Sam walked in to the room. He had one hand covering his eyes when he entered. "Safe to open my eyes? I don't want to face the widow's bites for witnessing an intimate moment."

Natasha rolled back to her side of the bed. "You can open your eyes, Sam. We were just talking. How'd you know I was here?"

Sam just laughed. "I was on the run with the world's best spy for years. I picked up a thing or two. Besides, that scene in my living room was pretty loud. Morning, Nat. Breakfast is ready. Figured it's been too long since the three of us had a meal. What do you say?"

Both men looked to Natasha for an answer. She nodded. "James is still on Christmas break, so I don't have to get him ready for school. If he wakes up before I get home, Alexi will feed him breakfast. I can stay for a bit. I'm guessing he'll want to see his dad this morning. You coming with me?"

"I'd like that," Steve said, as he threw on Tony's shirt.

"Good. We'll have breakfast with Sam then we'll all go to my place. You can't wear Tony's clothes forever. I have a few things at the house." She wrinkled her nose slightly. She should have sent his things with him last night. Of course, the hoodie and a few of the shirts were in the hamper. She could wash those when they got back. "Everything else from your apartment is in Clint's barn. I wasn't ready to part with them just yet. I kept meaning to do it, but it never happened. Guess that's a good thing."

Sam coughed. "You know, we could be having this conversation over breakfast."

Natasha pursed her lips together. Sam was right. Steve was probably famished. "Go ahead. I just need to let Pepper know why I won't be in today. We'll handle the rest of the phone calls from my place. People are going to want to know you're back."

By the time Natasha got to the table, a familiar scene had unfolded. Steve was sitting in front of a tall stack of pancakes. Sam was working on his own slightly smaller stack, and a plate of Eggs Benedict was waiting for her. "My favorite," she said. "You're too good to me, Sam."

"You just figuring that out?" Sam said in mock annoyance. His tone became more serious as he continued. "Thought you might need some comfort food. I'm going to put on my counselor hat for a few minutes and you need to listen. What you guys are feeling right now is something I've dealt with over and over for the last five years. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful you fixed the universe, but the Blip caused almost as many problems as the Snap."

Natasha glanced over at Steve. He wasn't eating. She could see the surprise on his face. What Sam was saying wasn't exactly news to her. She might not have been in the best place in those days, but she remembered how hard it was for people to readjust. Yesterday, she was too far into her emotions to see the similarities, but Sam was right.

She gave Steve a small smile she hoped would ease his discomfort as Sam continued. "Leaving the hero game seemed smart after you were gone, Cap. Without you around, nobody was shooting at me. I had a freshly signed presidential pardon in my hand, so I went back to the civilian world. Within six months, I was ready to snap on my wings and fly away, but I didn't. People needed professionals to talk to more than they needed superheroes.

"You two are lucky whether you realize it or not. Do you have any idea how many husbands reappeared only to learn their wives were married again? Or how many wives came back to the same predicament? There were babies in a lot of these post-Snap families. Now, those were tough cases. I'm not going to tell you how to handle your personal business. It's not my place. I'm just saying, subtract about five years, and half the population was dealing with this same crisis. It took time. Sometimes emotions got carried away. People got hurt, but they got over it. You will get passed this, too. One way or another, everything will work itself out." Sam picked up his fork and took a bite of his pancake. "Now, eat up. I didn't slave over this breakfast, so you could just stare at it."


Steve followed Natasha through her front door. This time, instead of being punched, he found himself nearly falling over for another reason. James ran straight at him and wrapped his arms around his legs. "Daddy, you didn't get lost again! Uncle Alexi said Mommy went to get you, but it took forever."

Steve picked the boy up and hugged him. "I'm going to do everything in my power not to get lost again, James."

"Good. Want some cereal?"

Steve shook his head. He looked across the room at the man who'd gone from punching him to pushing Natasha to talk to him. He still wasn't sure what to make of the Red Guardian, but he was grateful Natasha had someone around to help. When Alexi caught him looking his direction, he stood up a little straighter. "I guess I owe you an apology. Hitting first, asking questions later has always been my way. We should but our rivalry behind us for the boy's sake."

Steve tried not to look shocked as Alexi walked up to him and shook his hand. He was really going to have to google the Red Guardian at some point. "You were looking out for Natasha and James. If the shoe was on the other foot, I might have punched you, too. No hard feelings."

James grabbed Steve's cheeks. "What are we going to do today, Daddy? More Candyland?"

Steve was about to agree, but Natasha stepped in. "Maybe in a bit, Jitterbug. First, Daddy needs a shower. He hasn't had one in years."

Steve put the boy down and followed Natasha upstairs. It was odd being in her room. He'd been in her bedrooms plenty of times through the years, but they were always sparsely decorated. She never kept anything sentimental out in the open. This one was different.

Instead of a plain white comforter on a mattress, she had an actual bed frame, a nice one. There was a red comforter on the bed and several throw pillows. It looked homey. Everything was tastefully decorated in a style that seemed very Natasha. It was a weird thing to think about, since he'd never seen a room she personally decorated, but it was her. There were even pictures all over the place. She never left those out in the past. Most were James. He paused at one and ran his fingers over his son's newborn face.

Natasha was opening a drawer in her dresser when he finally stopped staring at his son. She pulled out an old t-shirt of his. He recognized another under it before she closed the drawer and opened the one below it. She pulled out a pair of his sweat pants. She handed them to him and gave him an apologetic smile. "You have a hoodie, too, but it's in the dirty laundry. I'll wash it before you leave. It's cold out there." He just nodded and stood there staring at his clothes. "You can use the shower in my room. I'm just going to make a few phone calls. Everyone will want to see you. One-on-one or as a group?"

Steve didn't respond. His mind was racing. She said she got over him. He definitely didn't imagine those words. Sure, now that he was back, she was confused, but the confusion was a new thing. If she was ever really over him, why was she still wearing his clothes? Why hadn't she gotten rid of the contents of his apartment?

"Steve," Natasha said, placing her hand on his wrist. "One-on-one or do you want to get everyone together?"

"I honestly don't know," he said. He wasn't sure he knew anything anymore. "I'd like to see Bucky first. I kind of owe him that much. Otherwise, you decide."

Natasha looked at him for a moment. It was the look she always had when she was concerned about a team mate's mental health status. He'd had her give it to him enough times to recognize it. She bit her lip. "Sam wasn't wrong. We made a pretty big mess when we brought everyone back. Guess we didn't think things through. I'm not saying we shouldn't have done it. I'm just saying what we are feeling right now, well, our actions caused a whole lot of people to feel the same way."

"Guess this is our payback," he said. "Wonder how many of those others found their way back together. I'm just trying to figure out my odds here."

"Wouldn't mind knowing those odds myself. I'll get Bucky for you. I'll tell the others to wait a bit."


Natasha sat down on her bed as soon as Steve closed the bathroom door behind him. This was so much harder than it should have been. Her heart felt like it was going to explode. She needed to keep it together. Steve needed her to be strong right now. Her emotional outburst at Sam's didn't help. Trying to just go back to being his friend hadn't exactly done either of them any favors either.

She always tried to be whoever someone needed her to be, but right now, she didn't know who that was. She couldn't just be with Steve the way he wanted. She wouldn't unless she was completely sure. He was too important to her.

She picked up her phone. It was time to call in a favor or two. Fury may still be annoyed she chose retirement over leading the Avengers, but he wouldn't be able to deny Steve Rogers his best friend. She only hoped Bucky was at S.W.O.R.D command and not gallivanting around the universe.


"Well, do you have what I need?" Fisk asked. "I'm going to assume you wouldn't show up empty handed."

"The kid goes to a private preschool in Brooklyn. School's out until Monday, but we have a problem, Boss," the nervous henchman said. "Romanoff has private security with the boy all the time. He's a Russian, and he ain't no easy target. Name's Alexi Shoshtakov, but, in Russia, they called him the Red Guardian." The henchman paused. "Boss, this guy is Captain America level."

Fisk sat back in his chair. Of course the Black Widow would have tight security around her son. No matter, he would just have to take the security guard out of the equation. The question was, how? "Keep digging, Bruno. Find out everything you can about this Red Guardian. I want his weaknesses, his allies, his enemies. Get me something I can use. The Black Widow needs to be sent a message she won't soon forget. I'll make her wish she never left retirement."

Bruno just stood there. "Boss, are we sure about this? Going after someone like her could really backfire. Maybe we take out Murdock and leave this one alone. I'd still be a pile of dust if she hadn't-"

Fisk slammed his hand down on his desk. "This is how we take out Murdock, you fool. When I'm finished, Dare Devil and everyone working with him will be six feet under. Everyone, even the Black Widow."