I apologize for the long delay. Crazy real world stuff drains my creativity. Finally finished Steve Rogers and the Great Big Cosmic Do Over, so this is top priority unless something else happens in 2020. I didn't inherit a fortune and purchase Marvel, so this is just for fun. No money changed hands. The muse just woke up from her slumber ready to write.
Clint left them alone to settle in using some excuse about making sure the kids didn't torment the chickens, and Natasha found herself yawning. Steve shook his head and smiled.
"What was that for?" she asked.
"It's not every day I catch you in a lie. You're usually much better at bending the truth, Nat," Steve said, putting his hands on her shoulder and walking her towards the bed "You're tired. You obviously didn't sleep well last night."
"I slept-"
"Like a baby," Steve said. "Sure you did. It's flattering really. I'm glad you couldn't sleep. Maybe you should have just come to Sam's and crawled back in bed with me."
Natasha put her hands on her hips. "Are you accusing me of lying about sleep, Rogers? That's preposterous. Why would I do that?"
Steve gave her a gentle shove causing her to land on the bed. He grinned. "Because lying is easier than admitting you don't like sleeping without me. Lay down, Romanoff . You need a nap."
Natasha wanted to argue, but she really was exhausted. When Steve crawled into the bed beside her, all thoughts of how dangerous this sharing a bed thing was went out the window. When he pulled her into his arms and started smoothing her hair with his hands, it suddenly seemed like an inspired idea. She was tired. He'd helped her fall asleep after stressful missions several times. What was the harm in a little nap? Soon she drifted off to sleep lulled by his comforting touch and the familiar scent of Steve Rogers.
When Natasha woke up, Steve was no longer in the bed. He was sitting in the chair across the room scrolling through the phone Pepper had sent for him. "Find anything interesting?" she asked as she slowly sat up.
"Just trying to catch up on what I missed," he said, putting the phone down on the side table. "Looks like I missed quite a bit. The tributes to Tony were really special."
She frowned. For Steve, Tony's death was still fresh. "There were several for you, too. Graffiti art turned up in a lot of places. You're still highly regarded heroes."
Steve sighed. "We couldn't have brought them back if it weren't for your sacrifice or Bruce's willingness to take the risk. He didn't know for sure he'd live through that snap. A lot of good people made this possible. Seems wrong that we were the ones who got all the credit."
"I don't know. It's always seemed pretty right to me." She walked across the room and picked up his phone. It only took a minute to pull up her email account and find the image of the statue she and Pepper had designed for the anniversary celebration. "Pretty good likeness, don't you think?"
She watched Steve's face as he stared at the image. "I think I'd be a lot less prominent in the design if the world knew the truth. I didn't die a hero. I just screwed up my re-entry." When he looked back into her eyes, Natasha's heart melted. "I'm not sure that other reality was worth what returning the space stone cost."
"The space stone wasn't the real problem. Maybe returning the soul stone cost you more," she said, moving the phone to her pocket.
He reached out and clasped her hands in his own. "Don't say that. Returning the soul stone saved your life. It saved mine, too."
"Not sure losing another five years is exactly saving your life. You almost got everything back that you'd lost," she said, but she didn't bother removing her hands from his own. "I think I messed things up."
"We're not having this conversation again, Nat. I do not regret one minute of our time on the ship. I got everything back that mattered the minute I returned that soul stone," he said. "Stop worrying about what you think you cost me, or you're going to end up costing me what I really want, Nat. I don't care what happened in the years I was gone, because I know something you don't." Steve paused and pulled her into his lap. She didn't pull away. "You did not get over me, no matter how much you think you did. Stop punishing both of us for the past."
She wasn't sure what came over her when Steve spoke, but her resolve broke completely. Whether he was going to say anything else or not, she would never know, because her lips found his. It was completely perfect feeling his lips move against her own. They moved in sync, just like they always did in the field, but neither moved to deepen the kiss.
Neither pulled away until they heard the sound of children clomping up the stairs. Natasha's eyes opened and she stood up just before James and Maddie came running into the room. "Aunt Laura said to see if you were ready for dinner," James said, grabbing her hand. "Come on, Mommy. It's pasghetti. Daddy, you want some pasghetti?"
Recovering quickly, Natasha smiled at her son. "With meatballs?" James and Maddie nodded and giggled. "I love spaghetti with meatballs. You guys run a long back to Aunt Laura and tell her we're on our way."
"Okay, Mommy. Hurry. I'm hungry," James said before following Maddie out the door.
Steve looked a little disheveled. Thankfully, the kids didn't seem to notice. Natasha didn't need a mirror to guess she looked the same. She casually ran her fingers through Steve's hair putting it back into place before smoothing her own. "We should probably join them before the kids eat all the meatballs. Table this conversation until tonight?"
Steve nodded. "As long as you promise tonight's conversation will involve more kissing, I'm all in."
She knelt down and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "More kissing, yes. Anything else? I think we better discuss that first. I don't want us to get in over our heads. Maybe I still feel the same, and that's maybe, not a definitive answer. But, I'm not the same person. James changed everything. I couldn't be who I was and his mother, too. I'll never be the same woman who followed you into battle or exile or whatever dangerous situation came up again. When I came back from Vormir, I let go of the red on my ledger. I had to accept what I'd done and hope I'd done enough to balance it a little. If you end up really choosing me, you'll be with someone who is a lot closer to Pepper or Laura than the Black Widow."
"You think you've changed that much?" Steve. "Because from where I'm standing, you're still the same. You just finally healed. I wanted that for you. You're still you. You'll always do what your gut tells you is the right thing. It's just now, your gut says protect James, and I'm all for it. I wanted you out of that compound, remember? When the rest of us left, you stayed, because your gut told you you'd be needed. Do you really think I'm going to argue now that your gut says stay away for our son's sake? From where I'm sitting, retirement looks really good on you. I think it will work for me, too. I'm done, Nat. I have no idea what I'm going to do now, but the Avengers don't need me the way James does. I want what you've built, and I want it with you."
They didn't take things any further than a kiss that night or for the rest of the week, but Steve knew Natasha wasn't even attempting to push him away anymore. The kept their new relationship to themselves. Days were spent with James, Clint, and his family. Steve was even enlisted on the remodel of Natasha's room. He didn't say a word when he realized just how recently the project had been started, even if it was pretty obvious Clint started it after extending the invitation for them to visit.
Steve didn't have to say much. Clint made his feelings on the subject very clear while they were knocking out the old tile in the en suite bathroom. "After Ultron decided humanity needed to go and I brought you guys here the first time, Laura had to tell me about Tasha and Bruce. I didn't see it. I figured it would be you."
Steve nodded as he scooped up an armload of the broken tiles and threw it away. "Me too, if you want the truth. If S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn't been compromised, who knows what would have happened? Guess I should blame Hydra for that lost time, too. Nat fell for Bruce while I was looking for Bucky. I figured it was just a crush on my part. I hated Bruce for leaving her, but we both moved on. I didn't know I was in love with her until Vormir."
Clint swung the sledge hammer again and handed it to Steve so he could take over. "I assumed you'd been sleeping together for years when she brought me back for the time heist. Didn't say anything though. Wasn't my business and I wasn't in the best place. Who was I to judge? When she came back from Russia with a baby bump, I knew it had to be yours. She didn't say it. I told Laura. That time, she was the one surprised."
"And, you were the one angry. You had every right to hate me, Clint. I'm not mad. We're good." Steve took a swing at the tile, and Clint started picking up the tiles.
"She didn't have any real feelings for that lawyer, you know. Laura and I knew he was just a place saver, but you better move fast, Cap. Don't let this guy cost you another decade."
Steve smiled. He couldn't tell Clint anything, but he appreciated having him on his side. "Nothing is going to stop me from going after what I want now that I know she feels the same, and she does feel it, Clint. I'm in it for the long haul."
"Good, because if you hurt her again, you're facing the tip of my arrow."
"Thought nothing would make you go back to that life," Steve said as he took another swing at the wall.
"I'd make an exception for Tasha," Clint said. "You're getting pretty good at demolition. We might make a carpenter out of you yet."
"Might have to," Steve said. "I'm going to have to find a new way to make a living. I'm not picking up that shield again. I've got to figure out a new career path."
"You'll figure it out. I'm sure lots of people would be interested in hiring the great Captain America. Retirement, well, it's actually not so bad, especially when you've got a family at home. Woo her, Cap. She needs you as much as you need her."
Natasha did some work for Pepper each morning. She'd lock herself away with her laptop and two mobile phones after breakfast, and Steve would politely make himself scarce until she was finished. He'd been serious when he said he wanted to give up the shield and build a normal life, but those were the moments when he worried most about what that new life might look like.
He felt a little too raw from his own five year time lapse to go back to counseling others, and the only real job he'd had outside of that was soldier. There just wasn't much he was qualified for in the private sector. Natasha had found her niche in security, but he couldn't imagine doing something like that without being on the front lines. Maybe he needed to develop some new skills. Honestly, working with his hands like Clint sounded pretty good. Maybe he needed to look into building things for a living. That could be rewarding after all the collateral damage he'd caused in battle.
When Natasha finished her work and joined him down in the barn below the loft, Steve was setting of the steps. He tried to put his concerns about the future aside to focus on her. She'd be leaving the next morning. Even though it was the plan from the beginning that she would go back to the city for a few days, Steve dreaded it.
"I figured you'd be in the house with the others," she said, as she sat beside him on the bottom step.
"Clint went for supplies. I can't exactly be seen in a hardware store. The kids made a blanket fort in the living room and fell asleep. I didn't want to interrupt sleeping children, and Laura's ordering farm supplies for spring planting. Didn't figure I needed to interrupt that either," he said.
"So, you're sitting here bored out of your mind. You should have came upstairs."
Steve shook his head. "No reason to get on Pepper's bad side for distracting you from your work. When are you leaving tomorrow?"
"After breakfast," she said, taking his hand. "If it weren't such a big deal for the company, I'd stay with you and James. This has been nice. He's always happy at the farm. Plus, well, having some family time's been good for him. He loves you, you know."
"I love him, too. He reminds me of you."
Natasha put her arms around Steve's neck. "I think he has a lot of you in him. If we're lucky, he'll have the best of both of us." She kissed his cheek. "Maybe we should take a nap since the kids are napping."
"I've never been good at sleeping during the day."
"We don't have to sleep," she said, raising an eyebrow.
Steve got the message. "Kissing could be nice. I do like kissing you."
Natasha stood and took his hand to lead him up the stairs. "Maybe we could even do more than just kiss."
Steve swallowed. "You think you're ready? I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for. It can wait, Nat."
"I'm leaving in the morning, and all I can think about is how much I'm going to miss you-how much I have missed you for the last five years. I want this, Steve."
Steve didn't need to be told twice. As they reached the top of the stairs, he picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He wanted this, too. He wanted Natasha more than anything.
Yelena quickly pulled the door of her Moscow hotel room closed behind her, locking both locks as quickly as she could in her weakened state. She went straight to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The gash on her cheek was mostly superficial. No need for stitches this time. As she slowly pealed off her cat suit, she winced. There were definitely a few broken ribs, but she could manage.
If only she'd managed to take out all of her assailants. Two were dead. A third was injured, but the fourth managed to whisk him away before she could finish the job. They were American. She recognized the accents immediately, and they knew way too much. She was in over her head.
As soon as she was finished cleaning her wounds, she slumped down into the bathroom floor and sighed. She needed help. It occurred to her that it might already be too late, but she had to try and do damage control. Too much was at stake.
She picked up her phone and dialed. "We've been compromised. They know about the serum. I need you on the next flight. Go commercial. There's no reason to bring in the Avengers. This is a family matter. We should handle this ourselves."
