Tommy watched his wife sleep for a while, propped up on his elbow as he watched her lay on her side, a hand stuffed underneath her pillow. Her eyes were closed, her breathing shallow and her hair a mess on the pillow. Keeping his gaze trained on her, Tommy wondered how their relationship had come to this. How had they allowed it to get so bad? Tommy could remember the first time Liz had turned away from him when he had leaned in to kiss her. His lips had landed on her cheek and his hands on her upper arms had slackened. He hadn't been hurt at the time, aware that they had suffered another loss and his wife was suffering.
But the months went on and Tommy watched her retreat into herself. She barely spoke with him and often complained about not feeling well and needing to lay down. She would go to bed early, already asleep when Tommy came up. Well, she claimed that she had been sleeping, but Tommy didn't know if she was. He didn't know entirely what to think anymore. He was more annoyed with himself and he had become closed off too. He became closed off because, no matter what he tried, nothing made his wife smile. Nothing made her happy and it pained Tommy inside.
He knew that they had both been hurting, but he had hoped that they could have worked through it like they had done the first time. He remembered the pain they had felt, but then they had felt some joy at being told Liz was pregnant again. When she had lost their baby six months into the pregnancy, Tommy had been devastated. He had held his wife as she sobbed, her screams echoing through the manor. And then the doctor had told her that it was unlikely she would be able to have another child. It was too risky.
It was then when Liz had closed herself off. She blamed herself and Tommy had let her do that. He had pulled away because he thought that she was unhappy with him. He had retreated into his shell because he blamed himself. He blamed himself for making her this way. He didn't know what to do. It was only now, as he reached for the small bottle of liquid and drank some, did he wish that he had done more. He wished that he had done more to help her. Perhaps then neither of them would be in this position.
Tommy stretched his legs and moved gingerly. He pulled himself from his bed, his arms moving over his head as he stretched. He had sat on that log last night with Liz, holding her and whispering promises into her ear, trying to assure her that everything was going to be fine. He didn't know if it was going to be, but he could do nothing more than try to make it better. They had rode home together and climbed into bed wordlessly, Liz rolling onto her side to face away from him.
Devising a plan hadn't been as difficult as Tommy had thought it might be. He had money and he knew that. He had put so much away for his family. Elizabeth had insisted on building up the largest amount of savings as possible for Charlotte's sake. Tommy had made Arthur the chairman of the company and, while he worked on the legitimate business, he had a larger hand in the illegitimate side, much to Linda's dismay.
She was finding it difficult, often talking to Elizabeth and demanding for her to try and do something and rein in Tommy. Elizabeth had listened to her concerns and she understood them, but more recently, she hadn't had the energy to care. She hadn't had the energy to argue with Linda or demand change. The business didn't interest her. Tommy's role as an MP interested her even less. Nothing seemed to interest her. She spent her days with Charlotte, trying to put on a brave face, but failing the majority of the time.
Bending down, Tommy swept hair from Elizabeth's face, kissing her chastely on the forehead. She didn't wake, but she did roll onto her other side, pulling the duvet up to her chin. Tommy sighed and went to change in the dressing room. Pulling his three piece suit onto his body, he prepared himself for a day of family meetings.
…
Tommy had sat in the boardroom meeting and listened to Linda snap at him and then storm out. Pol had come back from overseas and was the same sharp witted woman who had left. Ada had been her usual argumentative self and Arthur had been rather less volatile than usual. Tommy had told them that a large amount of the company's stocks had been invested in American stocks and shares. While some had been hidden, Tommy did not discuss these at the boardroom meeting, knowing that there needed to be a family meeting to discuss them. Their stocks and shares had almost hit rock bottom, but Tommy had hope. He had hope that it could recover and Arthur, as chairman, gave him permission to discuss his strategy.
Following the official meeting in the office, the family, minus Linda, moved over to The Garrison. The pub was busier than usual. Tommy walked in and people clapped for him. He didn't know why they worshipped him as they did. He was no hero. If they knew the truth then they would know that. He greeted them, shaking hands and smiling at people, listening to their issues.
He stood at the front of the room and told them all that there would be free drinks for them in the saloon area, emptying the main bar for him and his family. It was as people passed around him when he saw the door open again and the familiar figure of his wife entered The Garrison.
Looking over to her, he saw her tilt her head up, her hat no longer obscuring her face. Her gaze met Tommy's and she managed a small nod. He moved around the last throngs of the cheering crowd, patting people on the shoulder as he walked towards his wife, but Pol took hold of his arm, stopping him from going any further.
"I know what 'as been goin' on," she whispered to her nephew. "I phoned her before the meetin' and asked her to be 'ere. She needs to be involved, Thomas. She needs to be with you."
"She isn't well," Tommy responded as Ada went over to Elizabeth and embraced her, clearly knowing everything that had happened. Ada wouldn't usually behave in such a manner.
"Both of yer ain't well," Pol responded, "but both of yer need each other."
She let go of Tommy and walked over to the booth in the middle of the room, moving to take a seat on the leather sofa. She slid around the table, wiping it with a cloth she picked up on route. Tossing it to the side as Arthur placed down a bottle of whiskey, she shrugged out of her coat and Ada urged Elizabeth forwards. Ada sat down next to Pol as Tommy remained stood, looking to his wife as she kept her gaze down and perched on the end of the booth. Arthur dragged a chair from the table and sat down, pouring a glass of whiskey.
"Isn't it ironic," Ada said, "Tommy 'ere is all for socialism and we wear expensive clothes to the pub."
"A woman needs some luxuries, Ada," Pol spoke.
"Right," Ada said, changing the topic, "first item on the family meeting agenda is this." She moved into her pocket and pulled out, what Elizabeth assumed to be, a lump of metal. It was tiny and crumpled. "This was dug out of Finn's arm by Aberama Gold yesterday. He said that they were sent to Limehouse in Chinatown. What was Finn doing there, Tommy?"
"Finn?" Liz checked.
She knew that the boy had gone down to London on Peaky business, but Tommy had promised her that he would never see danger and that he would be involved in the legitimate side of the business. Tommy knew that his wife had developed a soft spot for Finn. She liked the young boy and trusted him. He had always been good with Charlotte and had always helped Liz when she needed help.
"I told Finn to stay out of the business," Tommy said and Elizabeth bit down on her tongue. "I told him to give the message and then not to get involved."
"He clearly didn't listen," Pol scoffed and her gaze turned to Tommy. "So what's in Chinatown?"
"Money."
"He said that they had been sent to kill someone," Ada said and Elizabeth felt her stomach churn, wondering just what had been happening. What was going on in the business? What had Tommy been doing?
Arthur frowned. "That kid is a liability, Tommy."
"It was an opportunity," Pol said and Elizabeth frowned, turning to look to the woman, wondering what she knew.
"It was an opportunity presented to me in secret and I dealt with it," Tommy said, pulling a cigarette from its holder and lighting it up, rubbing it along his lips before letting it dangle from the corner of his mouth. "There was someone in London who was blackmailing a member of the House of Lords…a wealthy man…he was working as a pimp."
"And now the world is a safer place."
"Fuckin' hell," Ada said, leaning forwards. "So now you are taking it upon yourself to make the world a safer place?"
"The man we did the job for was important. I 'ave made many friends down in London. The coppers agreed that the man wasn't worth a trial and cleared the streets for us. The work was commissioned by a High Court Judge and Scotland Yard. It was the right thin' to do."
Elizabeth said nothing, well aware that she had to have a conversation with her husband. She closed her eyes and thought back to Finn, wondering exactly where the boy was and what he was doing. She remained silent, not uttering a word as she listened to Tommy discuss his strategy to rebuild the company and Ada argued with him, clearly upset with what he had made Finn do and the bad business.
She stormed out of the pub moments later, leaving the four of them alone as Elizabeth shook her head and moved to her feet. She agreed with Ada. She felt sick at the thought of Finn being shot. Looking to Tommy, she saw him move his hand out towards her, wanting to reach for her. He didn't get a chance to as he pulled back.
"Where are yer goin?" he asked his wife.
"To see Ada," she responded and Tommy wondered if that was a good idea.
He knew that his sister was pregnant again. He didn't know who the father was, but he knew a doctor who had told him. He didn't want Elizabeth to know that his sister was pregnant, worrying what it might do to her. But he let her go. He doubted Ada would say anything considering she had kept the news from her family.
Elizabeth pushed the door open to see Ada stood to one side, smoking and leaning against the wall of the pub. Elizabeth slipped her leather gloves onto her fingers from the pocket of her coat. She folded her arms over her chest and wandered forwards to her.
"Ada," she spoke her name and Ada looked up and over to Elizabeth, tossing her cigarette to the floor and standing on it, remembering herself. "Is Finn okay?"
Ada sighed and raked a hand through her hair as she looked to Elizabeth. Her hair was in a loose bun at the back of her neck, wisps of it hanging down her neck. Her cheeks seemed to be gaunt, her skin paler than normal. She looked different. Ada knew exactly why that was.
"He is," Ada said to her. "I keep tellin' 'im to come back up here, but he won't listen to me. He's not the sweet boy we knew. He's grown up and he wants to be like Tommy and Arthur."
Elizabeth closed her eyes for a second. "He always said he didn't want to be like them," she said in a gentle tone. "He always told me that he wanted something else. What happened?"
"He grew up," Ada said with a shrug. "He moved to London and changed."
"Can heTommy make him come back home?" Elizabeth enquired from her.
"He will," Ada said in a soft promise. "I need to get going back to London, Liz. My train is due to leave soon."
"Of course," Elizabeth nodded.
As Elizabeth turned to leave, Ada took hold of her forearm. Liz looked down at the contact and then back to Ada, her gaze meeting hers. Ada bit down on her cheek for a second.
"I am sorry," Ada said in a gentle voice. "My brother…he's a pain…but he…he loves you. He loves Charlotte. I know that it has been difficult for you and I can only imagine…but…Tommy is there for you and I am, for what is worth, here too."
"Thank you, Ada," Elizabeth managed to speak and Ada nodded, letting for of Elizabeth as she turned on her heel and moved away. The door to The Garrison opened and Tommy walked out, pulling his coat onto his form as he looked to his wife.
"Liz," he called her name, "we need to talk."
"We do," Elizabeth said.
"Not 'ere," Tommy said. "Come on."
Elizabeth wondered where they were going as he held the door to the passenger side of the car opened. She climbed up and sat down, letting Tommy drive her to wherever they were going. He drove steadily and parked at the canal edge and Elizabeth let out a deep breath, remembering back to when they had been there the first place. It had been the place where Tommy had told her they would be together. She climbed from the car and followed Tommy down the water's edge. The area was quiet as the day began to draw to a close.
"Finn," Elizabeth began, looking to her husband as his face remained shadowed under his cap. "What is Finn doing, Tommy?"
"I told 'im not to get involved," Tommy informed his wife. "I told 'im that I didn't want 'im doing anythin'. He is supposed to be the messenger."
"When did this happen?" Elizabeth asked her husband. "Two years ago, Finn was a good kid. He wanted something else. He wanted something better than a life of killing."
"He 'as changed, Liz," Tommy said. "He ain't a kid anymore. He is a man. He…I am tryin' to keep 'im safe, Liz. I am tryin' to do the best that I can."
"Bring him home," Elizabeth urged from her husband. "Bring him back to Birmingham and keep an eye on him."
"He will 'ate that."
"I don't care," Elizabeth said, her tone shrill and voice snappy. "Tommy, I do not care. He is a good kid and he…he shouldn't be getting involved in this."
"Alright," Tommy said, not bothering to argue. "I'll send for 'im to come 'ome."
"Good," Elizabeth said and sunk down to sit on a crate as they stopped walking. Tommy stood in front of her. He kept a slight distance from her, not wanting to encroach on her space. "And everything else, Tommy? The business…I…I'm not stupid. I know what you do. I know about the side businesses that aren't entirely legal and I know that you have Arthur in charge to absolve you of liability."
"Nothing will 'appen," Tommy promised his wife. "The businesses will be fine. No one is goin' to find anythin' out."
"I've turned a blind eye to all of it," Elizabeth whispered, shaking her head as her hat threatened to topple off. "I haven't done anything."
"I know."
"And you haven't told me anything."
"Liz, we've barely managed to have a conversation of pleasantries, never mind anythin' else," Tommy said, arms flapping by his side. "I didn't know what more I could do, did I? I didn't know how to tell yer. We spent all those years tellin' each other we shouldn't keep secrets and look at us. We've spent months keepin' things from each other."
"I know," Elizabeth admitted to him. "But what happened to all of that talk, Tommy? What happened to you wanting to become an MP for Charlotte to be proud of you?"
"I know."
"And you…now you are making friends and using your connections to keep going with illegal business."
"Yer know who I am, Liz," Tommy said to her.
"I know," she snapped back at him. "I know and I pretend I do not care, but I thought that after you became an MP that things might slowly change…that you meant what you said about making Charlotte proud…we are just going around in circles."
"I don't know what yer want from me. The illegal business is hidden and no one will know about any of it. As far as people can see, I am a respectable businessman."
"As far as people can see," Elizabeth echoed back to him.
"I should 'ave told yer," Tommy admitted. "I should 'ave done more so that yer knew. I just didn't know what to do, eh? I just didn't know and I…I kept it to myself…I kept it all to myself because I didn't think…we…I didn't know what we 'ad, Liz. I still don't know."
Leaning back against the wall, Elizabeth tilted her head back and let out a deep sigh. She looked to the sky and did her best to compose herself, moving to adjust her hat on top of her head. She bit down on her bottom lip and looked Tommy in the eye, their gazes meeting.
"Do you love me?" she asked him and Tommy dropped his hands to his hips.
He resisted the urge to go and grab her and show her how much he loved her, how difficult he had found the past few months not to be with her intimately and in any way he could be. He doubted she entirely understood.
"Liz," he sighed in desperation, "I never stopped lovin' yer. I loved yer since the day I met yer, didn't I? Knew that there would be no other girl for me."
Elizabeth nodded at that. "Okay," she said in a soft tone. "I…I love you too, Tommy. After everything we have been through, I know that no one else would ever come close. I adore you."
"Then what do we do?" Tommy asked her. "Because we can't keep goin' on like this."
"I know," Elizabeth responded.
"Then we need to change," Tommy said. "I can't keep doin' this…wantin' to hold yer and not bein' able to because yer pull away…wantin' to 'ave yer look at me like yer used to…I want that back and I know it will take time to get it. I know that, eh? But I want it. I want that. I just don't know 'ow to get it."
"There isn't an easy answer," Elizabeth told her husband. "There isn't an answer that will give us the simple solution. I need you to know that…but…we just…we need to start talking. We need to start opening up to each other. We need to be able to talk. I know that I have not done that, but I want to change. I want us…I want us back, Tommy. I want you and me."
"Come 'ere," Tommy demanded from his wife, moving to stand in between her legs as he took hold of her waist, holding her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder as his arms encircled her and she moved her own arms around his waist. He rested his head on top of hers.
"I do love you, Tommy," Elizabeth said to him. "I always will."
"I know," Tommy promised her. "What if we go away, Liz…what if yer and me just go away…leave Birmingham for a few days and be together?"
"Tommy," she sighed his name gently and moved to look up to him, "is now a good time?"
"Fuck the business. Fuck the stock market. Fuck everythin'," Tommy said and Elizabeth wondered if she should find that as romantic as she did. "Fuck everythin' but us, alright? We're goin' away. We're goin' away for a couple of days and we're goin' to sort this, alright?"
Elizabeth nodded, her eyes watering. Bending down to kiss her, on the forehead, Tommy moved to nestle her against his front, longing for this feeling never to leave him. It was the most alive he had felt in a long time.
….
A/N: Do let me know what you think!
