Chap 26
The five minute carriage ride was strained, more so than the usual discomfort of their other moments if she were honest, because she knew that both had things on their minds regarding the other, but neither said them. She'd come close, only for him to look at her, the two catching each other's gaze, and for the both to turn to look out opposite windows, or anywhere else for that matter.
Draco had consented to their spending the coming of the New Year together, his expression sheepish while doing so. Or, as sheepish as he could look as he tried to control it. Slytherins were good at schooling their features when the time called for it, but she'd caught him off guard enough that she saw his face color in the streetlamps, the man giving stuttered nods as he stammered his acquiescence.
Then he'd taken a steadying breath as he held his arm out to her, which she took with only a half second's hesitation, and he led her down to the livery where a two-thestral team stood in wait. He'd handed her up into the carriage, and then climbed in behind to sit opposite her.
The two spent the trip trying not to look the other in the eye, which was later impossible to avoid as the carriage stopped before the school, the wizard handing her out of the carriage with well-practiced manners. When they both had their feet on the ground, he offered her his arm again, which she readily took, and he led her up the stairs of the grand entrance.
The two came to a stop in the doorway as the carriage began its trip back to the livery, only then deciding to hold each other's gaze, a foot of space between them. Hermione saw him move his mouth as if he tried to begin talking, multiple different times, but couldn't get the words out. When he started to look like he was drowning, she cut in.
"I'm knackered," she said, for the witch had noticed stress leave her body while they'd been eating, and that lack of tension had caused her to notice how tired she had become during the last two days of staying up late and waking early. "I'm going to go get some sleep. But will I be seeing you in the morning? For breakfast? In the kitchens?" She asked hopefully.
He seemed grateful for her breaking the silence, replying with a small smile, "Of course. What time are you thinking?"
She shrugged lightly, saying, "Eight?"
His smile widened. "I'll be there. Will we be studying afterward?"
"I will be, no doubt. You can join me if you'd like."
"I would like that. Especially now that I have my own books." He motioned to his bag slung over his shoulder.
"It's a date then," she said without thinking, and he seemed to attempt to hide his grin as she stammered something like, "No. I mean… Not like… You know what I mean. Not a-"
"Hermione," he interrupted, "I know what you meant."
She sighed heavily as she tried to cover her awkward feelings with as genuine a smile she could give him in her embarrassment, finally saying, "I'll see you in the morning, then."
He nodded in affirmation. "In the morning."
There was a beat or two of silence before Draco steeled his nerves, closed the gap between them, and rested his hand on her upper arm. He gave it a light, affectionate squeeze as he leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on her temple, then let go of her to turn and head for the stairs to the dungeon without another word, or without looking back.
Hermione couldn't help but smile after him, and was not ashamed when she did a tiny jig, more like an exaggerated wiggle of delight, before she turned in the opposite direction of him.
She headed up the stairs, singing, "If everything could ever feel this real forever." She did another small dance as she took a couple steps. "If anything could ever be this good again." She danced along the landing to the next flight up. "The only thing I ever ask of you, you've got to promise not to stop when I say when."
The witch flopped on her back onto her bed, giving the crimson canopy a smile as she thought back on the events of the night, and compared it to the previous encounters she had with the Slytherin whom she had come to fancy. He had once, in what seemed like a lifetime ago, made her cross beyond control. He'd caused her to feel like less than a human, something she was sure he'd do for the rest of their lives, only for him to surprise her by doing the exact opposite.
That night, as they sat talking over dinner, and as they walked arm in arm through the falling snow and icy cobbles of Hogsmeade, she had felt more than human, more human than she'd felt in so long, and all because of him.
It was strange to her how she'd transitioned from being in a self-loathing depression where she'd considered herself soulless, to looking forward to the days to come, especially the next one. She and Draco would spend the day, night, and the New Year together, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to sleep from the anticipation. She was tired, no doubt, but she wondered if she should have gone to the library to study instead; if she should have perhaps done so and invited Draco to join her.
She shrugged it off, for there was nothing she could do about it now besides something that could potentially come off as desperate, and instead decided to go to her record player. After putting the Smashing Pumpkin album back, she grabbed Green Day's Insomnia album, and lay on her bed as she attempted to study. Thoughts of a certain blonde kept causing her to lose her spot in her book.
Eventually she relaxed enough to lie under the covers, book in hand.
Draco.
One her favorite song began to play, and she sang along, "I'm having trouble trying to sleep."
Draco smiling.
She lay her head back on her pillow. "I'm counting sheep but running out."
Draco laughing.
Her feet moved, one and then the other, in time with the beat. "As time ticks by, and still I try. No rest for crosstops in my mind. On my own, here we go."
Draco's touch.
Her eyes closed, her book fell onto her chest, and she found herself too tired to sing the next verse.
Draco's lips.
And before the song ended, she was asleep.
A/N: I want to apologize for the long wait between this and the last chapter. I almost died. No lie. I was pregnant and had a very rough delivery, followed by eclamptic seizures and a hospital stay. It's been six weeks and I'm feeling better, so hopefully I can finish this fic now. Thank you for your understanding.
