Naruto looks up when he enters, blue eyes widening in obvious surprise.

"You're back! You okay? I got a letter from Gaara and he said you got hurt."

Sasuke tosses him the scroll. He's scribbled his report on it as he made his way back to Konoha. It was one way to get his mind off of the fact that he was headed somewhere he hated for the millionth time.

"I'm fine."

"You sure? He was really mad, yanno?" Naruto frowns, opening the scroll and skimming the contents, "He totally yelled at me for sending you out there…"

"Did he."

Sasuke feels...he doesn't know. Why would Gaara care about his wellbeing? What could Sasuke offer him, especially since Gaara asked for nothing in return? All Sasuke did was take the man's bed from him for two weeks and eat his food.

But...he wasn't too surprised that Gaara ripped into Naruto for this. He remembers the dark look that crossed the Kazekage's face when he learned that Naruto ordered him to scout out the desert. Even Sasuke could see the man's concern and confusion as to why Naruto would have him out there.

And well...Gaara was selfless. What else could he call it? He gave up his bed for Sasuke and made sure to...take care of him. Gave him the books that were in his pack right now, even.

But why? Sasuke couldn't figure that part out.

"He hasn't been that angry at me in a long time. Since I showed up on the battlefield during the war." He says, looking troubled, "You okay?"

"I already said I'm fine."

Naruto sighs, "Okay, okay. Just...makin' sure, I guess."

Sasuke hovers by the door as Naruto skims his report once more. The silence is deafening and Sasuke wants nothing more than to not be here right now, but he holds steady and tries not to look at Naruto, sitting behind that desk and looking so unrecognizable.

Once upon a time they knew how to speak to each other, but now...

Maybe Sasuke should be saddened at how they ended up. How everything ended up. How they both are tools of the corrupt system that left them so broken as children, and now as adults.

Sasuke can't feel anything anymore. Maybe it's better that way.

Naruto sets the scroll aside, "We took the prisoner off Suna's hands. It's not really smart for them to keep a dangerous alpha under lockdown, no matter how badly you crippled him. So he's in Konoha's prison instead. Here's the report on him if you wanna see it."

Sasuke takes the file and flips it open, only mildly interested. The photograph of the Ototsuki is a bit blurry, but he can see the state of the man isn't much better than the last time Sasuke saw him before he passed out in the desert. He's slightly bloodier, though. And he's...missing an eye.

Sasuke's brows furrow in confusion. He doesn't remember blinding him...

"Who took his eye out?" Sasuke asks, putting the file back on Naruto's desk.

The Hokage frowns, "Gaara, actually. Crazy bastard tried to bite him."

Something in Sasuke stirs at that. Something angry and dark.

"-went crazy when Gaara, Kankuro and the Sand's ANBU showed up and tried to restrain him. He was really weakened, thanks to you, but he made one last ditch effort to attack Gaara." Naruto says, "Honestly, I have a reason to yell at Gaara too. He let him get close on purpose and stabbed him in the eye."

"On purpose." Sasuke mutters, frowning. Sasuke entertains the thought of talking to Gaara about that too.

"Yeah. He's too reckless sometimes. He's just better at hiding it, yanno?" Naruto sighs, looking annoyed, "That's why I didn't want him fighting whoever was out there. If he was forcibly bonded..."

Sasuke feels something like rage churn in his gut.

"Crazy bastard tried to bite him."

"I've always wanted a human omega." The man had said, "I hear they break so easily."

"Well, whatever. The guy didn't get the chance. Good thing Gaara's fast, but still..." Naruto mutters.

Naruto looks at him curiously for a moment, pausing.

"You smell like him, by the way." He says, brows furrowing, "Your scent's all mingled with his. It's weird."

Sasuke shrugs, unwilling to talk about it. It wasn't anyone's business but his own.

And maybe...Suna was a place he wanted to keep for himself. Why did Naruto need to know every little thing in his life, anyway? Sasuke didn't know everything about his. As soon as Naruto got married he'd been shut out, regulated to the background while the man played happy and domestic husband and complacent leader of a child-soldier factory that he called a village.

The silence is awkward and long and Naruto clearly feels uncomfortable, but Sasuke doesn't feel inclined to say anything. What did it matter? It seemed like Naruto hardly listened to him most of the time anyway.

"Uh, okay. Well...Orochimaru has a scroll for me. Do you mind?" Naruto asks after a moment, "It's an easy enough mission since you're still recovering."

Sasuke's body locks up at the mention of the Sannin. The bottom of his stomach drops and he suddenly feels nauseous.

He takes the scroll and says nothing. If he opens his mouth he'll vomit, he's sure.

"I know you don't like him but you know," Naruto sighs, shrugging, "He has information that could help the village, and the elders insisted, so…"

The elders.

Sasuke turns and leaves without another word. He doesn't know what makes him feel more sickened - the prospect of having to see the man or Naruto's excuses and complacency.


Sasuke never told anyone what Orochimaru did to him. It was a disgusting, sick and dark secret he kept to himself. His own secret shame. What would anyone even say? That it was his fault for going to him in the first place? Sasuke already knew that.

And really, he'd rather die than tell anyone how the Sannin had routinely pinned him down and invaded him as he whispered in his ear about his "training". Sasuke didn't even want to remember. If he could tear the memories from his brain he would in a heartbeat, but he was still suffering flashbacks to this day.

Flashbacks like the one he's having now, having left Naruto's office and made a beeline for the forest outside the village.

Fucking sharingan remembered everything. The first time the man had wrestled him to the ground and stripped him he was sure his sharingan would evolve, and he's honestly still surprised it hadn't.

He grits his teeth and clenched his fist, trying to breathe. His lungs protest from lack of air, and he can only gasp for a few precious breaths before he stumbles against a tree and has to close his eyes and try to focus.

He forces the nausea to the back of his mind and feels himself disconnect in that way he longed for in the moment, and he straightens, curses his own weakness and keeps moving.


Orochimaru's lair was as dark and ominous as anyone would expect. The winding corridors were easy to get lost in, but Sasuke spent years here once upon a time, so he finds his way around with a practiced ease that makes him a bit angry now. He still remembered this horrible place so well.

Sasuke fucking hated it here.

He finds Suigetsu not too far into the lair, cleaning his sword and so absorbed in his weapon that Sasuke has to clear his throat to get the man's attention.

He looks up from his sword at last and smirks in the dim light.

"Oh. Sasuke. You're still alive." Suigetsu snarks, "Been a while."

"It has."

Seigetsu looks at him for a moment, curious.

"What."

"You smell different."

"I don't know what you mean." Sasuke says, eyes narrowing. Suigetsu rolls his eyes.

"Where is he."

"Down the hall." Suigetsu says, used to Sasuke's blunt nature. They were on a team and travelled together for a few months. Taka was short lived, but they knew each other's habits, even still.

Sasuke turns and leaves him without a word, wanting to get this over with. He hasn't seen the man since after the war, and he never wanted to see him again, but Sasuke very rarely got what he wanted. Once upon a time Naruto did everything he could to keep Sasuke from Orochimaru. And now he was sending him to the Sannin.

Time changes things, he's learned. Not always for the better.

The room is dark when he steps inside, only a few candles flickering, giving the place a very dim glow. The figure in the corner meditating is undoubtedly Orochimaru, but Sasuke doesn't spare him a glance. His skin crawls just being in the same room with the man.

"Ah. Sasuke."

The voice is slimy and smooth. Sasuke barely tampers down the urge to flinch.

"I'm here for a scroll. Do you have it." He says, refusing to take his eyes off the door. His skin itched as soon as he stepped foot in this place, and he wanted to leave as soon as possible. He had no intention of making small talk with his former "sensei".

No. Not sensei. Teachers didn't do what he did to Sasuke. Tormentor, more like.

It was a very small mercy that he wasn't in the room where it happened.

The figure stands and his footsteps echo in the emptiness of the space, getting closer to the tense man standing in the middle of the room.

A hand reaches toward him and Sasuke dodges it like it's a burning metal rod trying to brand him. His heart leaps into his throat and his instincts kick in all at once in a desperate flurry of thoughts and panic, though he makes an effort to keep his expression even.

Hands wandering down his body as he shook and screamed. Wet, cold, relentlessly cruel fingers twisting inside of him until it was replaced with something hot and large, far too big for his small body. His cheek pressed against the cold floor. This wasn't his body. It didn't belong to him. He screamed and it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt

Sasuke draws his sword and levels it at the man's throat, " Don't touch me."

"Still so hostile, Sasuke?" The snake grins, and Sasuke feels a bit sicker at the lecherous expression thrown his way. Like all those years ago, when he made a pastime of ruining Sasuke's body with his own.

"Do you have the scroll or not?" He snaps, his fraying nerves breaking. The man was too close and Sasuke couldn't breathe - old memories bubbling to the surface. Memories he'd tried to hard to push to the back of his mind on the way here. He hated Naruto for sending him here. He hated himself for not being able to refuse his closest friend, even though everything about their relationship was broken-

He hated it here, and he hates the fact that he's started to tremble even more. He grips his sword tighter, trying not to give himself away.

Sasuke could decapitate the monster right here, but...he'd only be hunted by Konoha for it. They'd use any reason to make him an enemy of the state again. Especially the elders that Naruto now worked so closely with. The village kept Orochimaru in its back pocket, and Sasuke could hardly believe that he'd been pardoned for his crimes simply because he was useful. He's considered it so many times, just coming back here and finishing the job, but he'd be branded a traitor all over again, and... Sarada still lived in the village. His child.

He couldn't do anything to jeopardize his daughter. She was an innocent child who had the misfortune of being his child. Sasuke couldn't make things hard for her, and it was already lucky that the fact that he was hardly around meant that she wasn't likely to be discriminated against in the village despite having the Uchiha name.

(But a small voice - thick with self-hatred and loathing - suggests that Sasuke is the same as his old mentor. A monster that Konoha kept in the basement that they let loose to do their bidding when he was useful. When he had something to give them in return for his freedom…)

"So mean. " The man pouts mockingly, "And after all the fun we've had…"

Sasuke's stomach turns and he stomps down the urge to gag as the Sannin chuckles. His stomach goes hot in rage and he can't hold his tongue.

"I was twelve, you disgusting bastard."

Sasuke wants to kill him. He wants to tear into him so badly, make him feel a modicum of the agony Sasuke felt as he held him down and destroyed his mind further.

"And yet you delivered yourself to me." Orochimaru shrugs, smile never wavering, "You walked in here of your own volition, did you not?"

Sasuke's rage is snuffed out like a candle. It's replaced with nausea that's so much stronger than before.

He's right. He's right, isn't he? Sasuke did it to himself. He clenches his jaw and swallows, heart pounding. His own fault.

His own fault.

"Do you have the scroll or not."

The parcel is tossed to him and he only catches it because he's so on guard around this monster of a man that his reflexes have been set alight and cranked up to a million.

He turns to leave and tries not to feel like he's fleeing.

Sasuke can feel Orochimaru's eyes on his back.


Sasuke makes it a few few miles away before he doubles over and throws up onto the grass. He shivers and gasps, though the air is warm and the sun is shining.

The birds chirp happily, and he can't help but feel like even they're mocking him.


He spends the next day with his stomach turning and he finds himself unable to eat for days after that. The only thing that brings any sort of relief are the books the Kazekage gave him, the omega's scent still on the pages.

Sasuke wonders what that means.