Sasuke spirals for days. Flashbacks assault him at every turn, and in the end he chooses to just send the scroll to Naruto via his hawk. He couldn't handle being in Konoha on top of everything else right now.

Garuda is a dutiful bird, arriving within minutes of being summoned, and he feels only a bit better after petting the bird for a moment before letting it soar back into the sky, the encrypted scroll tied to her leg.

Sasuke attempts to eat that day, but he feels sick whenever he takes a bite of the onigiri he's packed, so he wraps it back up and tries to breathe through the sudden nausea before he decides what he wants to do and where he wants to go next. At least until he's given another mission.


Sasuke finds himself in Suna a day later.

Something about the sand soothes him now, and he found himself making his way there with very little thought on his part. It's just where his body takes him.

The ANBU bow to him at the gates, like they were expecting him. Sasuke isn't sure what to do with that, and he simply makes his way to the Kazekage mansion, too tired to act like he's here for any other reason. Besides, he did have the man's books to return.

Right. The books. That's why he's here, in the Kazekage mansion, walking through the door to Gaara's office once more.

The place has become familiar to him, and the scent of the omega isn't a surprise any longer. If anything, he was able to trace the man by his scent now, and it led him here. As usual.

Gaara's at his desk, a scene he's seen so many times before. The familiarity is a welcome relief from the discomfort he's been living in for the past few days. He feels as if his skin is too tight - like it fits wrong, like it's suffocating - and he knows it's stress, but the familiar potted plants lining the windowsills and the pale clay buildings if the village help ground him, in an odd way.

Eyes settle on the familiar face of the Kazekage and Sasuke feels that desperate need to run and rip his skin from his bones edging away, bit by bit.

He's so tired, and Gaara smells so nice -

"Sasuke." He smiles, "I was wondering when you'd come back. How are you?"

For some reason, Sasuke thought that...maybe...Gaara could see that Sasuke didn't want to leave. The Uchiha knew he looked wild and troubled, and that desperate melancholy that was usually was so buried in his eyes was so plain and raw now. It was on the surface. Sasuke begins to tremble, just a bit as his headache grows worse for a moment.

"I…"

He has no idea what to say. Sasuke can't think, suddenly. The relief of being someplace he didn't hate and the exhaustion of the last few days war with each other in his mind, and he isn't sure what to do with Gaara's concern.

Why did Gaara care anyway? Why was he so warm toward Sasuke? What could he offer him? He couldn't even offer Sakura anything, and she obsessed over him for years.

He wonders if he needs help. He wonders if feeling like this is normal. If zoning out for days on end simply because he didn't care about anything was something everyone did. He wonders if everyone had the flashbacks and the feeling that it all amounted to nothing in the end.

But Sasuke is Sasuke and Sasuke doesn't ask for help, so when Gaara gives him a quiet once over and his eyes go warm and worried, he has no idea what to make of it or how to say that he just needed a quiet place to not feel like he's drowning for a while.

"Are you alright?" Gaara asks, standing. His scent goes strong and sweet again, the same display as when Sasuke's arm ached when he was recovering in Gaara's bed. Something raw, lonely, tired and longing inside Sasuke reaches for Gaara and that scent that makes him feel so... settled.

That painful tangle in his chest loosens just a bit, and Sasuke has no idea what look is in his eyes, but it's clearly pained enough to make the Kazekage's body react to his own once again.

"I…" Sasuke trails off again, at a loss for words. He's too tired to explain how drawn and worn he feels, his shoulders just sag and he barely represses a sigh. The last few days have been so exhausting and he hasn't been eating well either, which just makes him even more fatigued and weary. He still feels slightly sick.

"Yeah." Sasuke says, unable to think of anything else to say. His migraine worsens as the seconds tick by.

"Convincing." Gaara deadpans - not unkindly, just disbelieving.

Sasuke is quiet for a beat, before he speaks again.

"Had to collect a scroll from Orochimaru." Sasuke says dully, "I don't like him. Obviously. That's all. Just a little tired."

He isn't sure why he tells him. Sasuke's nature was to keep things to himself. But he finds himself too tired to lie to Gaara.

He must be more worn out than he thought.

Gaara's face twists in confusion for a fraction of a second before he frowns, "Orochimaru - hasn't he been imprisoned?"

Now it's Sasuke's turn to be confused. That is, until he remembers that while their Kage are friends, that doesn't mean all intel between Suna and Konoha were shared. It couldn't be. They were two completely different countries with two different councils, laws, interests and rules of confidentiality. The villages didn't share all their policies and relations. That's not how it worked, age of peace or not.

Sasuke doesn't know what to say.

"Sasuke…" Gaara's face goes serious and dark, "Are you saying that Orochimaru is still roaming about free somewhere."

It's not a question.

Sasuke grits his teeth and again has no clue what to say.

It turns out he doesn't have to say anything. His silence says it all. Gaara's expression darkens further and the Kazekage looks furious for a split second before his face goes carefully blank again.

"And Naruto knows of this, I assume." Gaara says, though it's still not a question - because he knows the answer already, "And he sent you there."

Sasuke is silent and he finds himself unable to look at the silently furious omega. He stares at the stack of books by Gaara's desk.

"An asset to Konoha, I suppose."

Gaara frowns and take another good look at Sasuke's face, green eyes calculating and observing Sasuke's obvious discomfort before he nods.

"Excuse me."

Gaara leaves the room and Sasuke is left standing there and wondering if he just did something very, very wrong.

When he returns a few long moments later Sasuke is staring at the wall, completely disassociated and zoned out, and he only barely notices Gaara saying something to him a soft voice that can't quite cut through the haze of his weariness. He doesn't catch it, but he can't refocus, and all he feels is Gaara taking his arm and leading him down a few hallways. The route is familiar as well.

That's all he remembers of that day, and he wakes the next morning in Gaara's bed once more.


He wakes in time for the steam from the plate of breakfast Gaara's left by his bedside to still be rising, and he shakes off the lethargy and confusion and realizes that at some point yesterday Gaara's given up his bed for Sasuke again.

The Kazekage is nowhere to be found, but Sasuke knows he's already in his office. He's learned enough of Gaara's routine from the time he was recovering here to understand that the Kazekage woke early and confined himself to his office to work for a few hours before he collected Shinki from Kankuro later in the day.

Sasuke wakes to the sun soaking the desert in yellow and the sunlight streaming in through the windows. He takes a deep breath and feels more settled than he has in days. Gaara's scent has a lot to do with it, he knows that now.

He slowly sits up, eyes roaming familiar walls and plants. The succulent on the windowsill has sprouted a small, red flower since he was here last.

Sasuke takes a second to steady himself, and he feels his chakra realign before he starts to eat and fully wake up. He guesses he needed sleep more than he thought.

That was the best he's slept in days.

He finishes the steaming food left for him, and then he finally stands, feeling settled. Sasuke grabs his cloak and sword, - left by the door for him - and he makes his way out of the room.


Gaara is in his office behind his desk again, dealing with what looks like double the paperwork from yesterday.

He looks up from the document he's absorbed in when Sasuke enters, pausing his work and observing the Uchiha.

"You're awake. Are you feeling better?"

Gaara doesn't look at him with any judgement or pity, only curiosity.

And that helps in a way Sasuke can't articulate. He nods.

"Thank you. I...guess I was more tired than I thought." He says, feeling something that may be shame anyway, whether Gaara judged him or not.

Embarrassment?

Either way, he doesn't like the fact that the Kazekage saw him like that. So...disconnected from everything. Hell, he barely remembers anything after telling Gaara about Orochimaru.

Sasuke needs to get ahold of himself.

"Travelling is draining, I'm sure." Gaara says, and Sasuke is thankful he makes no mention of the obvious breakdown he had the day before.

He nods, taking in the papers Gaara holds in his hands. Being Kazekage didn't look any less stressful, in his opinion.

Then he remembers something else.

"I have your books." He says, taking them from his pack and handing them back, "Thank you."

"Of course." The Kazekage says, "Feel free to take more, if you want."

If he does, he has an excuse to come back. Well, that and he did enjoy the books rather thoroughly.

But he also supposed that Gaara would accept him back even without the excuse of returning his literature and scrolls.

He nods, "Any recommendations?"

Gaara gives him a small smile, "I might have some. I'll see what I can find."

He suddenly remembers his last conversation with Naruto as the omega walks over to the bookshelf and scans the spines of the books and scrolls.

"Naruto told me that he almost bit you." Sasuke says, "The Otsotsuki."

Gaara's face takes on a slightly stunned expression, and he looks surprised that it's been brought up until he goes carefully blank again and turns back to the shelves.

"Yes, he...attempted to." He says, "Though he obviously didn't succeed. I used the opportunity to wound him further."

So Naruto was right. Gaara did let the crazy alpha get close on purpose.

"You shouldn't be so reckless." Sasuke says, "He could've bonded you."

Gaara sighs, "I've already been lectured by Kankuro. Then Temari."

"Still." Sasuke tells him, "You should be more careful. There was no guarantee that would work. What if he wasn't fazed or he couldn't feel pain? What if he pushed through even after you stabbed him and he still bit you?"

Gaara frowns, "Hm. I guess I wasn't thinking of that. I'm...aware I'm by no means the strongest, but I think I can handle one wounded, crazed maniac."

Sasuke doesn't particularly like how blasé Gaara was about this, but he holds his tongue and simply frowns at the unbothered redhead.

If he was bonded by the Otsotsuki, he'd be tethered to him for life, and he would definitely end up forced to bear the man's children and wear his mark. And yet Gaara didn't seem particularly fazed at all.

Gaara gives him a slightly amused look, "Fine. I'll be more careful. Is that what you'd like to hear?"

"Hn. Better than nothing, I guess." Sasuke says, catching sight of the volumes in Gaara's hands, "I'm guessing you have a new book for me?" Sasuke says knowingly, hand extended towards the Kazekage.

Gaara considered him for a moment, their eyes meeting briefly. The redhead hands him a few small books, not much thicker than the last ones Sasuke finished.

"I think you'll enjoy these."

"And what are they?"

"One is Philosophy. The other is fantasy. The scroll is a collection of poetry."

"Hn. Well, it should be better than the last one."

Gaara just blinks at him, a hint of a smile on his lips and his hands clasped behind his back, "Do you not like haikus, Sasuke?"

"They're not my favorite, at least not what I've read so far."

Gaara gives him a pointed look, "I'll be sure to work on finding more poetry you're sure to like, then."

"Hn. Don't let me down." Sasuke says.

The small smile feels foreign on his face, but it's definitely there.


When he leaves he feels a bit more steady, and less like his skin is constantly crawling.

Sasuke wishes he had a word for this feeling, but he doesn't. Not yet, at least.


When he returns two weeks later to return it, he's greeted by an empty office and an assistant who seems to be gathering some of the papers on the Kazekage's desk. She looks up when he enters, and Sasuke pauses and blinks at her.

"Where's Gaara?" He asks, eyes scanning the office. The Kazekage is nowhere to be found, but his scent is strong and lingering. He obviously hasn't been gone long.

"Lord Kazekage is in his heat chambers." She says, "Unfortunately he'll be unable to speak with anyone for a few days. Can I help you with something?"

Sasuke doesn't know why he feels like he's been smacked in the head. Omegas had heats every two months, usually for a week at a time. Of course Gaara would be the same.

But still, something in Sasuke darkens at that. Was someone in the room with him? Was someone helping him through his heat right now? If so, who were they? Were they the same person who had Shinki with him?

And why does Sasuke want to ram his sword through their throat?

"If you need to speak with him you can leave a message and come back in a week." She offers helpfully.

Sasuke nods and leaves without a word, mood soured. It occurs to him that he could leave the books on his desk, or with the assistant, but he would rather hand them back himself, in person.

He gets no letter from Naruto, which only means he doesn't have a mission, so he spends his time travelling and trying not to think about Gaara in heat and most likely with someone Sasuke's never met.

He stops at a tea shop on the border of the Land of Rice Paddies and tries not to snap at the waitress who gets a bit too close to him. Her smile is wide and she sidled up to his side, voice going annoyingly sweet and cloying.

Irritating.

She tries to make small talk with him, and Sasuke's one word answers and non-committal grunts only seem to spur her on further. He leaves once she starts giggling and fluttering her eyelashes at him, abandoning the idea of having his tea quietly, like he planned.

Another thought strikes him. If Gaara was spending his heats with someone, why didn't they bond him? Shouldn't Gaara have a mating mark?

With no idea where the thought comes from, he can't stop thinking about it.

Unless Shinki was adopted…

The child had the same powers as Gaara, though. What were the odds that Gaara didn't have him himself?

Sasuke spends the rest of the day weighing the points in his head, unsure what to think. Thinking about Gaara in heat becomes what his brain fixates on, and he partially blames his instincts for that.

Even still, the thoughts don't leave him, and he finds himself not even noticing time going by. It's been a week before he knows it, and he receives a letter from Gaara saying that he's available to see Sasuke now, if he wanted to come by again.

Sasuke feels an odd sense of satisfaction at Gaara reaching out to him first, and he begins to make his way to the Sand once more.


Gaara smells different. Not too much, just a bit stronger and warmer, but he doesn't scent anyone else on the omega. Which confuses Sasuke further. Did he spend his heat alone?

He would ask, but despite not being too social even Sasuke knows that would be inappropriate. Personal, even. Sasuke made a point to spend his ruts alone, was Gaara the same?

Gaara is at his desk writing up a document when he enters, totally immersed in his work though he looks up when he senses Sasuke lingering by the doorway.

"Oh, Sasuke. Hello."

The Uchiha nods at him, taking in how tired the omega looks. Heats were exhausting, so he's heard. The Kazekage still looks flushed and somewhat dazed, green eyes slightly unfocused and dark circles a bit more prominent.

"I'm sorry I was... indisposed when you came by last." He says.

"You look tired."

"The last few days have been...somewhat exhausting." he says, glancing back at the documents on his desk, "But I'll be fine."

"I've heard."

Sasuke stares for a moment, taking in how Gaara's hair is still a bit ruffled. It's not much, but he notices.

Then he snaps out of it, remembering why he's here.

"I have your books." Sasuke says, opening his pack and taking out the volumes, handing them over. Gaara reaches for them and Sasuke tries to ignore how warm Gaara's fingers are against his own for a split second.

"How did you like them?"

"The poetry wasn't my favorite, but I liked the short stories." Sasuke tells him, "The fantasy ones are a bit far-fetched, but not bad."

Gaara gives him a small smile, "Everything you've seen and done and fantasies are still far-fetched?"

Sasuke scoffs, "Everything I've seen and lived through has been equally as ridiculous."

He hears Gaara laugh for the first time. It's not loud, nor boisterous, but a small chuckle. Sasuke feels strangely blindsided all over again.

"That's fair." The Kazekage tells him, "If you'd like to see the library, I can show you. I'm aware you didn't get to see it the last time you were here."

"Thank you."

Gaara rises and Sasuke is immediately overwhelmed by the warmth of his scent as he brushes past Sasuke and towards the door. He shakes himself out of it quickly enough to follow without faltering.

The corridors of the mansion wind in seemingly confusing circles, but Sasuke is able to easily memorize the way, following Gaara closely. The assistants they come across bow to the Kazekage as he passes and Gaara waves at them to stand and be at ease, greeting them politely before continuing down the hallway.

One man freezes as Gaara crosses him before bowing, his back stiff. He's muscled and his shoulders are scarred, a clear sign of a shinobi. His hair is messy and tied back in a small bun, and he clearly scents Gaara as soon as he comes close, nostrils flaring.

Sasuke knows he's an alpha as soon as he sees him.

"Lord Gaara." He says, sounding strained.

"Hello, Shira." Gaara says, "Are you well?"

The man straightens and his eyes quickly roam Gaara's body for a second too long, his fists clenching as he nods.

"Yes. I'm well. And you?"

"Fine, thank you."

Gaara doesn't notice how the man stares at him, that dark look in his eyes as his pupils dilate. The man - Shira - inhales deeply, obviously savoring the scent of the Kazekage as he passes.

Sasuke sort of wants to punch him. The other alpha swallows thickly, and Gaara's too preoccupied with finding his way down the hall to notice that the man has turned to follow them, obviously inhaling his Kazekage's scent that smells like warmth and post-heat.

"Lord Gaara, I meant to ask you about the plans for the dojo in the square…"

"Ah, yes. I'm sure Kankuro could help you with any inquiries you have." Gaara says, turning to look at him, "Since he's heading up the project. I have little to do with it, I'm afraid."

Sasuke bristles, annoyed.

This Shira guy was too close - hovering around the Kazekage like a wet blanket. His scent immediately puts Sasuke off.

The scent of an all too interested alpha. Sasuke's gotten so used to Gaara's scent that this guy's was a rude surprise to his senses, and Sasuke immediately hated it. It felt wrong.

"Yes sir, but I was hoping that - "

Sasuke doesn't even hear the rest of his sentence, gritting his teeth and trying to resist strangling whoever this alpha was. He nudges closer to Gaara and in front of Sasuke, and that only makes Sasuke want to throttle him all the more.

"I understand. We can have a council meeting about it later."

"Ah, well... the council is busy, I'm certain. We can talk it over ourselves - just the two of us, I'm sure? Over some sake, perhaps? There's a very nice curry restaurant nearby and I'm sure I-"

Yeah, Sasuke doesn't like this guy. He misses the rest of the conversation because all he hears is his blood rushing in his ears. Gaara says something and the man bows and leaves, clearly hesitating like he wants to think of something else to keep Gaara's attention on him. Eventually he stops hovering and Sasuke is finally glaring at the man's retreating back.

Finally.

Gaara sighs, clearly troubled.

"Who is that." Sasuke grits out, trying not to sound as pissed off as he feels.

"Takahami Shira." Gaara says, then he looks a bit regretful, "He's...not the best at...keeping our relationship professional, but he's a...dedicated associate."

'Yeah, I bet', Sasuke thinks bitterly.

He guesses he should have expected this, seeing as Gaara smells as...agreeable as he does currently, but he doesn't like the fact that he didn't seem to get the hint that Gaara wasn't particularly interested.

Unless...was he?

Sasuke didn't like that thought either. Maybe Gaara's scent was making him a little crazy.

But…No, Gaara looked more exasperated than anything.

"He should know not to approach you so casually." Sasuke says, trying not to sound completely peeved.

Gaara leads him through another arched doorway, into a small but grand library.

"Kankuro says so as well. I don't wish to be rude, so I simply try to avoid the topic altogether..." Gaara says, "And here is the library. Feel free to pick anything you like."

Sasuke - still silently fuming from the brush with the other alpha - observes the titles lined against the shelves, along with the scrolls placed on the tables alongside them. He looks through the books, but he can't fully focus on them, or how quietly peaceful the library is.

He didn't like the look of that alpha. He was too pushy, too... Sasuke doesn't know.

He makes a mental note to keep an eye on him, whoever he is.

Gaara's called away for a meeting, but he promises to return to the library as soon as he can, and Sasuke nods and watches Gaara leave, his eyes on the Kazekage's retreating form.

He wasn't shocked that the alpha was interested in the redhead, he just... didn't like the look of him. How his eyes looked Gaara up and down like he was a piece of meat, or something similar. Sasuke was wary and suspicious of the dark look in his eyes as he looked at the omega.

Shira, huh?

Hn.

He doesn't notice how much time passes, but he has a small stack of books on one of the many tables by the time he hears someone approach and clear their throat.

He turns to see Kankuro leaning against the doorway, arms folded. His face is painted again, and Sasuke realizes he hasn't seen the man with his makeup on in a while.

He's about to ask where Gaara is, but the man speaks before he gets the chance.

"So how pissed is Naruto?" The puppeteer asks, eyebrows raised.

Sasuke frowns, "What?"

"About Orochimaru?" He says, looking at Sasuke like he's an idiot, "How mad is he?"

"About…?"

"The Sand arresting him?" Kankuro says, "I mean, I figured he'd be furious."

Arrest? What?

"Speak plainly." Sasuke says, still annoyed by the alpha from earlier and not in the mood for the puppeteer's guessing games, "What are you talking about?"

"Did Gaara not tell you?"

"He's been in a meeting for the past hour or so." Sasuke says, irritation rising, "What are you talking about?"

Kankuro looks at him like he's especially dull, and Sasuke is about to snap at him again until the man finally says something.

"Gaara gave the order and had him arrested in his cave in the Hidden Sound this morning." Kankuro shrugs, "On the grounds of murder and several violations of human rights. Guess word hasn't gotten around yet."

Then the man shrugs casually and leaves Sasuke standing in the middle of the Kazekage mansion's library, frozen.