November 3, 2014

And with that, any chance Alessandra had of keeping her head down during the war was lost. Which, if she was going to be honest with herself, was what she expected would happen. There was no way she wasn't going to get involved. Dumbledore's Army rose again, with Neville as it's ringleader. And with Alexa as their secret weapon. Her, Neville, Ginny, Luna, and soon many others found themselves typically sporting black eyes, or bloody noses-all punishments from the Carrows. On any given day one could find graffiti plastered on the stone walls of the castle, screaming messages like "Dumbledore's Army still Recruiting" or "Long Live Potter." Defense lessons resumed in the room of requirement. A few months later, it was given a second purpose when Neville was forced to disappear from the public eye, or risk execution. Alexa became their messenger and their supplier. She was the only one who could get people in and out of the castle without the Carrows or Snape knowing.

And she was good at it. She could move across the entire castle in seconds, completely undetected. She could get people in and out of the castle, she could bring in more supplies. She had her role in the scheme of the resistance and she enjoyed it.

Blaise and Theodore, however, were growing more and more concerned. On more than one occasion she'd found them sleeping in the common room waiting for her or trying to catch her.

"Alexa, we need to talk," Blaise said, as he and Theodore appeared on either side of her. They were walking to Dark Arts, and the hallway was otherwise empty.

"About what?" she asked, although she had a sinking suspicion. She frowned, wincing as it stretched the still healing cut that stretched across her eyebrow to her blackened eye.

"You know what," Blaise's voice was low, "Alexa you're crazy."

She chuckled, "You've been saying that since first year."

He gave her a severe look, "Alessandra," she pursed her lips at her full name, "We're worried about you. You're putting yourself in danger, you're not being safe."

"And?" The word came out more harshly than she had intended.

"And you're going to get yourself killed!" Theodore snapped. His brows scrunched together and his mouth was set in a hard line.

"Lower your voice, Nott," she snapped.

"Look," Blaise put his hand on her shoulder, "I don't support this nonsense, you know that. Neither does Theo-but we're Slytherins. And if we keep quiet and keep our heads down we'll make it through this unscathed."

She glared, frustration pushing up inside her, "You might be content just to sit here while our peers are being tortured and abused, but I'm not about to. I can't just not do anything-Don't worry about me, worry about other people! Not everybody can defend themselves in this castle as well as I can, I've had to evacuate three people this week!" .

"You're an idiot," Theodore snapped.

"What?" she demanded, blinking in surprise.

"Theo-" Blaise tried to intervene.

"No, she's an idiot, and she's going to get herself killed on some whim of stupidity. Let the blood traitors rot, what have they ever done for you? Half of them would kill you if they knew what you are. You're so pig headed-you're seventeen years old, you're not responsible for the fate of the world. Your bloody hero complex is going to kill you. And what's that going to do to Blaise and I?" he demanded. She inhaled sharply. "You're so selfish, you don't even consider-"

Alexa's blood boiled, "We're in the middle of a goddamn war here, Nott," she swung around to face him, stabbing a finger into his chest, "I don't think I'm some hero-But do you think anybody else knows how to fight? How to organize a functional army? Do not," her voice was dangerously low now, "forget that I am a soldier of Rome. Nobody else can do the things that I can do, and I am needed. I'm not going to turn my back on people I can help. It's not my problem if you're too cowardly to do anything good in this situation." She stormed towards the classroom but Blaise grabbed her arm. Theo had already gone in, practically steaming from his ears. They stood alone together in the hallway.
"You're right that I'm afraid," Blaise said quietly, "I'm terrified." His dark brown eyes were locked on hers, "People are vanishing, people are dying. I don't know where my mother is, and you and how many others are risking your lives to try and stop this. I'm afraid for you, and I don't want you to get hurt."

"I don't-" she shook her head, trying to calm her temper, "I don't want to talk about this right now Blaise. I'm sorry. I'm not backing out."

"I know," he sighed, "But it had to be said."

She pulled away from him and slipped into the classroom.

There were two empty seats left, one next to Draco and the one next to Theo. He caught her eye, his glare blazing and she scowled. Choosing the lesser of two evils, Alexa slammed herself down next to Draco. He raised his eyebrows.

"A bit moody today, di Angelo?" he asked.

"I'm never in the mood for you, Malfoy," she grumbled. She didn't look at Blaise as he came and sat down next to Theodore. She was furious. Not with Blaise, rarely, in the grand scheme of things, was she ever angry with Blaise. But Theodore, calling her pigheaded and selfish-her blood boiled. How was she the selfish one when he wasn't wasn't doing anything. This had been why they broke up. He never could accept she was a halfblood. It was always her fault she was in danger.

The class continued to chatter. It was Ravenclaws and Slytherins mixed together, along with the two remaining Gryffindor seventh years Lavender Brown and Parvarti Patil. Classes had been shuffled as more and more students disappeared. Alexa, of course, knew where they were.

Carrow strode into the room, his robes billowing impressively.

"Good morning class!" he grinned, hands on his hips. Amycus was a man who thoroughly reveled in whatever scrap of power he had over others.

"Good morning," the class chanted back.

"Today we're going to be having a bit of a game day," he declared, rolling up his sleeves, "We're going to start off slow. You'll be paired with whoever you're sitting next to. Now, everybody stand up and push your desks back against the wall." He watched, bouncing on the balls of his feet as the students obeyed.

He waved his wand and two lines appeared, one on either end of the room.

"Line up opposite your partner!" he called. Alexa swung around and stalked to the other side of the room, facing Draco with a molten gold gaze. Her heart was pounding, and she was itching to fight. Draco did not look particularly excited.

"Now, the rules are simple," he grinned cruelly, "Fight until one of you gives up. All curses are allowed-but don't kill anyone. We'll go around with winners fighting other winners. The loser has to deal with a boggart." He pointed at a shuddering wardrobe in the corner, "Ready, set, go!" He jumped back out of the line of fire.

Alexa swished her wand, violently thinking 'stupefy' in her head. Draco stumbled backwards.

"Protego!" he shouted. The red light ricocheted and dissipated.

Alexa flung curse after curse at him. Jelly legs, confundus, petrificus totalus, tarantallegra. Draco had no time to shoot as she silently spun spells, advancing on him all the while. She was hyper aware of her surroundings as adrenaline pumped through her.

Finally he flung himself to the left, surprising her with a flipendo that sent her flying. She slammed into Theodore, and they both went down. Without missing a beat Alexa somersaulted to her feet, another flash of red already flying from her wand. Draco shoved Lavender Brown to the ground as he threw himself out of the way. The light hit the desk behind him and it turned to wood chips. Alexa swung her wand, gathering the shards of wood into the air and sending them flying towards Draco. He shoved Blaise to dodge, setting the wood chips alight as he did. She sent them cascading to the side, right onto Carrow's desk, and the piles of parchment on top. The piles of parchment immediately caught fire, and it was then that Carrow decided he had had enough.

"ALRIGHT!" Carrow shouted, thrusting his wand into the air. A boom echoed through the classroom, shaking the windows and eliciting several screams from students who dove for cover. Theo had set the fire out, and the rest of the class seemed to be trying to edge out of the room.

Draco froze, and Alexa took his distraction as an opportunity to flick her wand at him one last time. He stiffened, and fell to the floor with a heavy clunk.

Carrow was bouncing on the balls of his feet, looking between the two of them. It was obvious he wasn't going to torture Draco, and he seemed hesitant to punish any of the Slytherins the way he punished the other houses. And besides that, this is what he wanted the students to do-fight dirty.

"You two are going to handle the boggart on your own!" he snapped, "Class dismissed!" He waved his wand at Draco, who clambered to his feet, shooting Alexa a hateful glare as he did.

"Yes sir," he muttered, as the rest of the class fled the room. Carrow went as well, leaving them alone together. The smell of smoke lingered in the air.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Alexa grumbled.

"You do it," Draco snapped, crossing his arms, "You got us into this mess anyways."

"I won the fight, Malfoy, you do it," she snorted as he crossed his arms like a child. She didn't want to deal with the bogart. And besides, he had lost. He was absurd, the way he strutted around. Of course, there hadn't been much strutting lately.

She didn't know what her boggart was. She'd never gotten the chance to see it in third year, and quite frankly she didn't want her deepest darkest fear to be revealed with Draco there.

"Only because you kept going after he yelled!" Draco hissed. She arched an eyebrow.

"That's a lot of bark from someone who won't even face a boggart," she taunted.

Draco huffed, "Fine," he whined. He drew his wand, and with a single whip of the wood the cabinet doors opened and-

Voldemort emerged from the cabinet, tall and thin, his nose a slit, his red eyes gleaming, and his great black cloak billowing behind him. Draco fell backwards, his face ashen, scrambling away from the advancing figure.

"Draco," the Dark Lord's high, cold voice echoed through the room, "Draco, Draco, Draco, you've done well-" Draco's eyes filled with fear- "I'm so proud of you." The boggart grinned, "All those people just," it snapped his fingers, "Gone. You put Bellatrix to shame." Draco seemed frozen, and the boggart advanced.

"Hey!" Alexa shouted, throwing herself in front of Draco.

The boggart twitched and turned to her, at once shrinking and going soft. The body went limp and fell to the floor like a rag doll.

Jason Grace, no more than twelve years old, was lying on the floor. He was paper-white, his lips blue. Her hands shook and she raised her wand.

"Ri-Riddikulus!" she gasped.

The boggart twisted, contorting momentarily into a mass of black before reforming as a tall woman, dressed in an old fashioned skirt and blouse. Her thick black hair was done up and pinned back into delicate curls, her lips were crimson, and her eyes were the most beautiful golden-brown Alexe had ever seen.

"Mom…" Alexa breathed. It felt like her heart stopped and tears pushed to her eyes before she could stop them.

Maria di Angelo shrunk back, "Mia figlia, a monster!" she shrieked, her voice terrified and thickly accented, "A murderer! A monster! Why did you have to be the one to live?!"

"Madre-no, please," the words burst from her lips before she could stop them, "Riddikulus!" she whispered.

The boggart spun, shrinking into a dark haired six year old with dirt smudged on his nose, "Why did you kill him-" Nico looked up at her, eyes wide and fearful.

"Riddikulus!" her voice broke, and she could feel herself shaking. It wasn't real. He was gone, this wasn't real. The boggart grew once more, it grew and grew and grew. And there stood her father, ten feet tall, his hair and eyes as black as night, his robes embroidered with the damned.

"I should never have saved you," he said, looking down at her.

There was a deafening roar in her ears and she couldn't see anything but Pluto looming over her, looking at her like she was nothing, "REDUCTO!" she screamed.

The boggart exploded, showering both them and the room in a thick black sludge.

She was panting, her chest heaving. Angrily she wiped her eyes on her sleeve. At once, standing seemed like it was too much, and she dropped to the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest. She stared straight ahead, mind blank. If she refused to feel maybe it would get better.

Draco came and sat next to her. She had almost forgotten he was there.

"I never killed anyone," she said hoarsely, even though he didn't ask. It had been an accident. She had almost killed Jason. They had been on opposite sides in the war games, and she had grabbed him-she didn't know she could drain his life.

"Neither have I."

They were completely silent. There was no sound in the room except for the occasional drip of boggart from the ceiling.

"I won't tell anyone," she said, not looking at him.

"Neither will I...but who…?"

"Pluto."

She swallowed hard, and squeezed her eyes shut. She could still see Maria behind her eyelids, staring at her. She wanted to cherish the image. That was the first time she had seen her mother's face clearly. But Maria's face had been twisted with such fear that it made her sick to her stomach. She glanced at Draco, only to find him looking at her. Neither of them knew what to say. There wasn't anything to say really. They knew the other's darkest secrets now. What were they even supposed to do with that? At least Alexa knew Draco wouldn't tell-not after she had seen how much he didn't want to be with the Dark Lord. It was mutually assured destruction.

"Are you done yet-WHAT HAPPENED?!" Carrow had come back, and was now looking around his slime-coated classroom in disgust.

"I blew it up," Alexa monotoned, not rising from the floor. She wasn't in the mood.

"That's-who the hell taught you to do that?" he spluttered. Alexa shrugged, not bothering to respond.

"That's not even-the spell is so simple-" Carrow seemed honestly baffled as he shuffled around his room looking around. "Clean it up! You have detention for the next month-I'll speak to your head of house to arrange it!" absolutely livid, he spun around and stormed out of the room.

"That went well," Draco said.

Alexa burst out laughing, flopping backwards onto the stone floor, "Lupin would be so disappointed," she cackled.

Draco chuckled, and then giggled, and then he was on the floor too and laughing as hard as she was.

"I like your way better," he gasped.

They laughed until their sides hurt, and then it was quiet again.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked. She paused, the question surprising her.

"Yeah." She closed her eyes again, trying to remember exactly how her mother and brother had looked. She wasn't a monster. She wasn't. They were wrong. "Are you?" she asked him.

He chuckled, but this time it was without mirth. "As okay as I'm going to be."

She snorted, "That seems to be as good as it gets lately."

"We had better get started," Draco sighed, rising. He offered his hand to her, she took it.

What a strange moment with Draco Malfoy.

They cleaned the room mostly in silence, but even with magic and both of them working as fast as they could, they still missed dinner.

Alexa couldn't get her mother's face out of her head.

Slughorn came in just as they were finishing, a tray in his hands.

"Are you two alright?" he seemed more concerned than angry.

"I think the boggart had it worse than us, sir," Alexa said. But her voice was still too hollow to pass as joking.

"I brought you dinner-and made sure your detentions were with 'll be cleaning and organizing the potions supply closet every Saturday for the rest of the month," he seemed nervous, and looked over his shoulder before handing them the plates. He pulled out his wand and waved it, and three desks pulled together, two facing each other and one on the end. He took the end seat.

Draco and Alexa, stomachs growling, sat across from each other and dug into their food.

"Thank you sir," Alexa said. Draco murmured his thanks as well.

"No trouble-why did you blow up the boggart?" he seemed concerned. Alexa was silent for a moment.

"Riddikulus wasn't working."

"What do you mean?" he was looking at her intensely, and at once her hands began to shake.

"It-" her voice broke. "It wasn't working." She clenched her hands into fists. Draco's eyes caught hers, somewhere between concern and fear.

"What happened, Miss di Angelo?" She did not want to talk about this.

"My parents."

That shut Slughorn up. Most, if not all, the staff knew about her unusual circumstances. Draco glanced between them, seeming to not know what to say. Perhaps he hadn't realized that the teachers knew. So he put more potatoes in his mouth, and Alexa did the same. Slughorn didn't ask Draco any questions. He seemed to be avoiding looking at him. Every now and then his eyes would dart towards the blond, but never for long.

They finished their meals under Slughorn's supervision, before he dismissed them with a final goodnight. Side by side, Alexa and Draco made their way back to the common room. She felt sick, her stomach churning. She could feel a headache building behind her eyes. Briefly she contemplated going to the room of requirement. Neville would be there, and Seamus Finnigan, and Zachariah Smith, and several others who weren't able to be seen around the castle anymore. But she was already at the stone wall to the common room, and Draco had already said the password, and he was watching her expectantly, waiting for her to follow him in. She gave him a half smile, and followed silently.

"G'night Dragon," she yawned, she paused, trying to clear her head, "Sorry, Draco."

Draco's mouth twisted into something that just might have been a smile, "You haven't called me that since we were kids. Goodnight Alexa." She smiled back, and went up the stairs to her dorm. It was midnight.

As she changed into her pajamas all she could see was her mother, face twisted in horror as she looked at her only surviving child. At once Alexa felt like she was choking. She began to shake, and she pressed a hand over her mouth to hold back a sob.

It wasn't fair. Gods, it wasn't fair. How dare she survive when Nico and Bianca didn't. They should be here. They should all be here-her mother included. Would they think she was a monster? Would they have been scared or disappointed? Would they have cared that she was a witch? Would Nico and Bianca have been magical too? Could they have all gone to Hogwarts together?

She would never know. And it wasn't fair.