Sasuke wasn't fond of alcohol.

It was dehydrating, made one clumsy and stupid, and it tasted like gasoline, no matter what "fruits" people liked to say they were infused with. He saw little use for it, truly. So when he walks into Gaara's kitchen and finds Kankuro sitting there nursing a cup of warm sake he's a little annoyed by the smell.

And the fact that he isn't Gaara. Who he's been looking for for the past ten minutes.

He followed the Kazekage's scent here, but he may have taken a wrong turn somewhere.

Well, at least he could cross the man's apartment off the list. He clearly wasn't here.

"You're back." Kankuro says, looking at Sasuke curiously.

"Hn."

The man is quiet for a moment, before he squints at the Uchiha suspiciously. He doesn't look upset, but more like he's studying a very interesting painting.

"Do you like my brother or something?" He asks suddenly.

Sasuke blinks at him, mind reeling to a halt.

He's still in his sleepwear, and he'd only gone back to nap for about an hour after breakfast and woke to the apartment completely empty, save for the Kazekage's brother, who sits at the table and obviously seems happy to ask him questions that make Sasuke nearly choke on his tongue.

"I mean, you guys seem to be...close, now. He smells like you - more often than not, anyway. You guys friends?" Kankuro says, eyeing him critically. Sasuke feels his chest tighten. It's not a feeling he's used to yet.

"We are."

"Hm. Okay." He shrugs, taking another sip of his drink, "Just asking, I guess."

Sasuke's next question is on his tongue, but he isn't completely sure he wants to ask it. He still does, though.

"...Why?"

Sasuke almost wants to abandon this conversation altogether but…

This feeling is... awkward? Maybe? Sasuke isn't sure. He isn't good with picking out how he's feeling anymore. These past few years have been spent ignoring his emotions until he was numb, but now he was feeling things - trickles and pangs of all sorts of things - and he had no idea how to label them anymore. It was frustrating.

Kankuro looks hesitant for a moment, before he takes another sip.

"Gaara doesn't bother to form bonds with people anymore. At least, he didn't. He keeps a lot inside, and doesn't talk about himself or his thoughts all that often. Other than Shinki, Temari and I..." Kankuro says, and Sasuke is sure the alcohol is the reason the man is so forthcoming with his words, "Everyone expects him to be Lord Kazekage, and I think he... saw that people would never see him as normal, so he stopped trying. He has his associates, but they're just that - associates. But he's just as disconnected from everyone as he was years ago - in a...different way. They only see a leader, so...I'm sure you can understand how forming meaningful friendships can be hard for him, even without knowing his past. But then you come along and he talks to you all the time . He talks about you, too. He used to only talk about work, or Shinki, but now...I don't know...I guess I'm just curious." Kankuro finishes, looking at the other man intensely before he continues.

"He never lets anyone this close, but he let you into his home. Near Shinki. He's a really private person, and really keeps to himself. He's very particular about who he lets near his kid. Just how he is, I guess. He doesn't like his personal space invaded, and yet...he let you in. I mean, he barely lets Shikamaru in here and he's married to our sister. So it's just...odd."

"I…"

Sasuke blanks for a moment.

He didn't really consider that Gaara was as affected by him as vice versa. But now that he thinks about it, it makes sense. Sasuke wasn't Naruto, and didn't know too much of Gaara's past like the Hokage did, but the more he learns about Gaara - it seems like the man is just as...lonely? Isolated? Longing for a connection that was just...

He was in a different situation than Sasuke, sure. But...Gaara seemed just as appreciative to have Sasuke around as Sasuke was to have him around.

Maybe the man needed someone to talk to as well? Somehow he'd never considered that before, and he feels like a fool for that.

He remembers Gaara asking him if he thought he was crazy, and how stunned the redhead looked when he said no.

Maybe the Uchiha did have something to offer him. It wasn't much, but was clearly enough. Something, at the very least.

And if Sasuke's learned anything from these past few months of getting to know Gaara better, it's that having someone to talk to made an unbearable life...better, somehow. It made it easier to breathe.

Sasuke had learned that before (with Naruto, though that was its own situation altogether) but clearly he was learning it again.

But then he remembers that Kankuro said that Gaara talks about him, and his chest does that strange thing it's been doing when the redhead smiles at him, or - hell - when the omega is so much as near him. Lately it's been happening even when he looks at the man as well. Sasuke doesn't know what it is, but it happens so often now that he can't help but take notice.

And he knows that if he had anyone else to talk to, he'd tell them about Gaara, too.

"I didn't think of that." Sasuke says quietly, almost to himself. His hand messes with the loose seam of his shirt as he thinks.

"People rarely do." Kankuro says.

Sasuke doesn't know what to say to that.

"Just...don't hurt him, okay?" The man frowns, "People never realize this, because he doesn't show it but... Gaara's really sensitive. He doesn't know how to deal with people, and he panics when he messes up. He's got a lot of anxiety, and he doesn't know how to express what he feels so he keeps it all inside. He takes things to heart, and he's been hurt a lot. Too much. I just... don't wanna see him like that anymore."

Sasuke looks at the other man, taking in the drawn expression in his face. He wants to ask what hurt Gaara has endured that he doesn't know about, but for some reason he also isn't sure he wants to hear the answer. He's sure it would only make him angry. More feelings Sasuke wouldn't know what to do with.

Sasuke wasn't stupid, he saw the hesitance on Gaara's face whenever he spoke to someone, or said something he thought Sasuke would reject him for. The man was used to being a social pariah (the Uchiha knew that much), and Sasuke understood what that was like.

Not for the first time he wishes he knew more about the man he recently came to call his friend. He could ask Naruto, but it felt...wrong to ask someone else about something the redhead hasn't told him himself. It felt invasive, and Sasuke didn't want to acquire information about him that the redhead wouldn't freely give him.

He remembers what Gaara used to be like. How crazed and tormented he was as a child. Sasuke was an adult now, and knew that whatever caused him to be that was something fucking horrid.

At some point Sasuke found himself wanting to know everything about the Kazekage, and he doesn't exactly know when but he does. He just didn't know how to ask. Or if he should.

Sasuke was only just learning how to speak to people again, (and hope to be heard by people too). People who would listen to him. He had no idea how to go about asking Gaara about things like this. He wanted to, though. He really did.

"Yeah, I...know something about what that's like."

The puppeteer looks at him for a minute, eyes searching Sasuke's expression for any sign of deception.

He obviously finds none, before he looks back at his drink, nods and stands, putting his cup in the sink after draining it.

"If you're looking for him he should be meditating in the sand pits out back." Kankuro says, "He shouldn't be too busy today. He sent everyone home because there wasn't really too much work for anyone to do. Pretty sure you'll find him there."

"Hn. Thanks."

"Uh-huh."

Sasuke knows what he wants to say, but he takes a moment and thinks about whether he wants to say it.

He does.

"It's not my intention to hurt your brother." Sasuke says, before Kankuro turns to leave, "I...I wouldn't-"

Kankuro nods slowly, understanding mixing with the worry on his face, "...I know. I don't think you're that kind of guy, actually. It's just that...he's my little brother. I couldn't protect him for a really long time, so I...guess I had to just tell you that. So you know. Especially since it seems like you're not going anywhere."

Sasuke nods, "Understandable."

Kankuro waves, clearly intoxicated and lax in his movements, "Well, you know where he is. See ya."

He waves lazily and then he's gone.

Sasuke stands in the middle of Gaara's kitchen for a moment, still a bit surprised that he's trusted to stay in the Kazekage's home by himself. And then by the conversation he's just had as a whole. How strange his life has become-and he's fought gods and resurrected men.

'Especially since it seems like you're not going anywhere'.

Something about that makes Sasuke's stomach do something funny that he can't ascribe words to.

Sasuke stands there for a moment, wrestling with his own emotions. Emotions. Something he'd only just remembered he had, not too long ago.

He moves before too long, wanting to find the Kazekage.

Sasuke doesn't know how Kankuro expects him to know how to get to the sand pits, but he finds it by following the omega's scent, and he follows winding hallways and goes through multiple doors before he's in the sun once again.

The sand pits are a large arena behind the mansion, flooded with sand. Just as the name suggests, it's much like the desert itself.

If it wasn't for the movement of the grains he wouldn't think anyone was back here at all. But there's that familiar scent, and the air moves in that particular way it does when Gaara is using his ninjutsu. Sasuke recognizes it, at this point.

The sand swirls around in shapes, rising from the ground and spinning into flowers, shapes or bubbles that dissolve and dip back into the earth. Gaara sits in the center, and his sand swirls about - floating gently and settling back to the ground for a moment before the grains swirl to life all over again.

The Kazekage's eyes are closed, and his hands are settled in his lap, mouth parted - slightly - to breathe. The redhead breathes slowly - he's so still, but the sand continues to swirl about around the space. The scene is…

Sasuke hasn't thought anything was beautiful in a very long time, and yet-

Gaara is a red speck in the sea of golden sand, and Sasuke briefly wonders how he can handle the sun with such ease. The man wasn't even sweating. The omega was used to it, he assumed. Sometimes it seems like Gaara is the desert - still and serene. Unyielding, but gentle.

Sasuke can't help but stare for a long, quiet moment.

Then, a sand flower that looks suspiciously like a rose swirls up by Sasuke's shoulder, and it's only then that he notices that he's taken a few steps into the sand and towards Gaara. He didn't even noticed he'd moved, truthfully.

He finds himself reaching for the flower without thinking, and he curiously pokes at it. The flower crumbles and forms a swirling shape he can't decipher, light and airy. Something about Gaara's sand feels light and bright. It's so strange, he thinks. Before - when they were children - the sand was harsh and stinging , but now...

"Sasuke."

Gaara eyes open, green and shining. His skin is paler in the sunlight, completely saturated. The Uchiha startles a bit, unaware the man had taken notice of him. He shouldn't be surprised. Where there was sand, there was Gaara's consciousness.

Sometimes it seemed like the omega knew everything .

"I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't." Gaara says, opening his eyes, "I was almost finished,anyway."

"Oh. Alright." Sasuke says, confused once again by that feeling in his chest when the man looked at him.

They're quiet for a moment, and Sasuke takes a breath of roses and earth.

"Kankuro drank your liquor." He says, and he doesn't know why. Sasuke finds himself blurting things out in Gaara's presence more often, like he panics, or something. It's infuriating, and he doesn't know why. He doesn't know a lot of things these days. As familiar as Gaara is now, Sasuke still often feels like he's wading in the middle of the ocean, or caught in a sandstorm when he's with him. It's disorienting, and makes his heart hammer.

What the fuck is going on?

Gaara gives him a small smile at the mention of his brother.

"He does that. It's fine. It's not like I drink much of it, anyway." He says.

Sasuke nods, unsure what to say. How to respond. Was communication always this hard? He can't remember. Recently it seems like it's gotten more complicated. Was it him? Was it Gaara?

Was it because he was talking to Gaara?

Sasuke nods, distantly feeling foolish.

Gaara stands, and the sand collapses to the ground, the shapes falling.

Sasuke watches him gather his mat and make his way toward him, red hair bright in the sunlight.

"Kankuro tends to drink and brood. You'll grow used to it." He says, brushing past the alpha, "He does that every now and again."

They turn to walk back towards the mansion and up to the Kazekage's office, falling in step together.

"Ah, just so you know…" he starts, turning to Sasuke, "Naruto will be arriving soon."

"For what?"

"To yell at me, most likely." Gaara shrugs, turning head back up the steps that lead to his office, "For taking away one of Konoha's secret trump cards, I'm sure."

Oh. Orochimaru's arrest. Right.

Sasuke shifts, uncomfortable at the thought of the man.

"Hn."

"Just...in case you didn't want to be privy to the conversation, I figured you should know he was coming."

"Yeah, I-thanks." Sasuke says. He was still so unused to how much Gaara seemed to innately care for his feelings. Was he that considerate toward everyone?

'Toward Shira?' he suddenly thinks bitterly.

Sasuke shakes the thought from his head. What a strange thing to think all of a sudden.

"Anyway, I meant to speak to you about something." Gaara says, suddenly sounding quieter and a bit more hesitant, judging his office door open with his shoulder and heading to his desk - looking away and preoccupying himself with a scroll on it.

All at once it occurs to him that Gaara may be nervous and trying to hide it. His interest is piqued.

Did he make Gaara nervous?

Either that talk with Kankuro was messing with his head or he was finally seeing how Gaara acted differently around Sasuke than anyone else as well. That it wasn't just Sasuke that had reactions to him. The Uchiha had seen glimpses, but he's never noticed quite so starkly before.

"Hm?"

"Suna and Konoha are in need of a new liaison. Temari resigned, as she's caring for Shikadai, and she'd like to focus on her son - which is understandable. There isn't much to do currently, seeing as the world is a bit quiet, and I was going to suggest Lee, but he's on a long-term mission in the Hidden Waterfall. If you were interested I was thinking of suggesting you."

Sasuke pauses for a long moment.

A liason? Gaara wanted him to stay? Sasuke knew he wanted to stay for a while but he didn't think that the Kazekage himself wanted him to-

Gaara immediately panics at his silence.

"If not, that's perfectly fine, of course . I- I'm sure you like travelling. It was a foolish thing to say, never mind. I sometimes tend to speak without thinking. I don't even really know why I asked - I'm sure Aburame Shino or Akimichi-" the Kazekage rambles and nervously arranges the documents on his desk, eyes unable to meet Sasuke's.

The Uchiha has never seen him like that before, and if he wasn't so surprised it would be somewhat humorous, how quickly Gaara went from calmly (albeit nervously) asking to quietly panicking. He can't help but stand there and watch for a moment, surprised by Gaara's obvious nerves and the offer presented to him. Black eyes are glued to the redhead as he continues to ramble and quietly fret at Sasuke's silence, but the Uchiha can't say much for a moment. This was one of the few times Sasuke has been totally blindsided.

And then his words catch up to him, and he hears the fact that the Aburame heir or Akimichi could take his place - and that stirs that dark feeling in his stomach again, like when he heard that an enemy tried to bite Gaara a while ago, or when that man pushed between him and Gaara and tried to get the Kazekage's attention.

If it was anyone else they'd be with Gaara all the time, and both of the men named...they were both alphas...

The thought of Gaara asking someone else... upset Sasuke. Greatly. He... didn't want Gaara thinking of someone else.

A...very strange thought that he'd never voice, but it was a thought nonetheless.

Then he realizes he hasn't spoken yet, and Gaara is still quietly rambling.

Say something!

"I can do it." Sasuke says, maybe a tad too quickly. That would mean no more travelling, but then...he could just stay here, couldn't he? Isn't that what this meant? He'd be stationed in Suna, working with Gaara if anything ever came up.

"-and I don't want to impose or- Oh - I..." Gaara says, finally looking up. He looks surprised that Sasuke accepts, like he expected rejection, of all things.

Sasuke doesn't know why he thinks such a thing. Why would he say no?

"I'll do it." He says again. He only barely stops himself from saying something that he couldn't explain.

Something like...

Don't ask anyone else.

"A-alright." Gaara says, still looking like he didn't expect Sasuke's answer.

They stare at each other for a long moment, eyes searching. They don't notice Kankuro enter until he clears his throat loudly, looking between the two of them suspiciously.

They both startle and look away, finally.

"What's goin' on here?" He asks, breaking the silence of the moment, eyes narrowing at them both.

"K-Kankuro, hello - we were just...talking." Gaara stammers, still surprised by Sasuke's answer and now by his brother's sudden appearance and obvious suspicion.

Sasuke feels his face go red almost immediately. Why though, he has no idea.

"I was just coming in to say Naruto's here."

"R-right." Gaara rasps, avoiding both of their eyes as he rushes from the room.

Sasuke feels his face go warmer with embarrassment. He's getting used to the feeling, and he doesn't know why. Kankuro gives him one last, knowing look, and he follows his brother.