Sasuke's place is a small apartment just a bit north of the Kazekage mansion. It's in a small alcove with a balcony - the building made of the same sandy, pinkish beige clay as the rest of the architecture in the Hidden Sand. He chooses it in a slight fit of distraction, thinking about the little bit of personal information Gaara's told him the night before and frowning to himself as he wanders the space. The woman who acts as his guide is ANBU, and he distractedly tries to nod and stay present, but he can't take his mind off the horrid story he was told. He's angry - obviously - and for some reason his brain won't leave it alone. He can't stop thinking about it, just like he can't stop thinking about Gaara's face as he spoke.

Was Sasuke wrong to ask him? Should he not have?

The Kazekage looked so troubled. Sasuke didn't intend to bring up anything that would upset the omega, he just...he doesn't know.

Was it really all that different to what Sasuke went through? They were both forced into something they didn't want. It's the same thing, isn't it? The effects seemed the same.

And deep down, they both believe it was their own faults. Sasuke could never stop thinking about how he ran from the village and to Orochimaru, and Gaara clearly blamed himself for giving into the council's demands and losing that baby. They both berated themselves for not being smart enough to avoid being hurt how they had.

Logically, Sasuke knew he wasn't at fault for what Orochimaru decided to do to him, but his guilt and shame always said otherwise. He knew that Gaara's own brain attacked him in much the same way.

So again, was it really so different? They both fell victim to predators, in the end.

He tries not to think so hard about it. It's only making him upset, more than anything.

He wanted to find the omega again, but he's spending the day being shown the village, and when he returns to his new apartment, it's late at night and Sasuke knows Gaara's schedule well enough to know that he's most likely putting Shinki to sleep and probably settling down himself. Sasuke finds that he doesn't want to trouble him further, especially if the man was reading bedtime stories to his son, or something. But also...it was strange being in the village and not with the redhead. It felt...off, for some earthy scent of the desert was here, but none of the aspects that smelled like Gaara , and for a reason he doesn't necessarily want to frustrate himself thinking about, that's unsettling .

Sasuke tries not to think about it.


His apartment has two bedrooms, and he has no idea what he'll use the second for, but he chooses the one with the larger window for himself. There's a bed in there already, but it's a bit too short for him, so he guesses he'll need a new one soon. That was fine, he had no shortage of money due to Konoha at least having the decency to give him the liquidated assets of his clan, but the thought of shopping for furniture immediately overwhelms him. Battling for days he can do, but shopping? Sasuke doesn't know where to start. The ANBU nin showed him all the shops and he knows where to go, but don't people usually choose things based on what they liked? Sasuke had no idea what he liked.

He steps onto the balcony, leaning over to look at the village below it.

The buildings, balconies and rooftops are adorned with plantlife - even in his corner of the residential district - green and thriving. Sasuke can only lean on the railing and wonder idly if that's Gaara's influence as Kazekage. As fond of gardening as he was, he had to have been the first Kage to propose such a plan. He wonders what Suna looked like before, without it.

Sasuke looks closer. He can see the roofs of some lower buildings. The gardens seem to be growing fruits and vegetables of various kinds. And on the rooftops, the plants would get no shortage of sun. Perfect conditions for crops.

Hm. Utilizing space and providing fresh food for the people. Clever.

Gaara's design, then.

For a village in the middle of a desert, Suna still managed to be pretty colorful. After the first night in his new space he thinks about forcing himself to venture out into the village, reminding himself that there was a small chance that anyone in Suna would recognize him. If they did, they wouldn't care. He wasn't stared at here, and he wasn't whispered about, but he's still apprehensive and can't seem to shake it. He was used to being the odd one out. How does he deal with blending in like he always wanted to?

Sasuke was used to making himself scarce. He was used to constant travel, never being anywhere long enough to be noticed or spotted. Sasuke spent his days flitting through dimensions and villages, he's used to life going by very, very fast.

Setting down roots and making a home? Sasuke has no idea how to do that. His last home was snatched away from him by his own brother, and he hasn't had the chance to create a space for himself since.

And then there was the apprehension. Sasuke didn't like crowds, or noise. Too much commotion made him irritated and short tempered. Made him feel cornered.

He sighs to himself and retreats from the balcony, standing in the space he assumes he'll make the living room, just staring at the sunlight that stretches along the floor from the open window - and tries to think of what to do first. He could go see Gaara, but truthfully he feels a bit...guilty about the other night. He feels like he upset him, and that gives him pause. Would seeing Sasuke be good for him right now? He doesn't know, and if he thinks about it for too long he'll exhaust himself or drive himself crazy.

Something else, then.

Sasuke should probably buy some food, first thing. Or furniture.

So obviously...he doesn't.

He ends up in a small and quiet bookshop down the street from his new home and comes back with a stack of books and scrolls that he needs to summon a clone to help him carry. By the time he remembers he should have done the actual shopping he's halfway through his second book that he reads on his balcony and the sun has long since gone down. Sasuke sighs and scolds himself for losing track of time, but he finds himself reluctant to leave his space again. One time today was enough. Being among people was hard enough in the small bookshop, though he knew no one was staring at him or even paying him any mind, but he still felt distinctly trapped.

That happened a lot. Sasuke often felt cornered, waiting for an attack at any moment. No one was likely to attack him in a bookshop of all places, but he felt strangely... vulnerable without his sword in his hip. Or his cloak.

He couldn't bring those things everywhere though. He'd look too out of place, and he really didn't want to attract any attention. It was strange, no one carried weapons around in Suna, and he knew it was because being a shinobi wasn't the main occupation here anymore. There were no ninja in flak jackets roaming about. He hardly saw any Suna headbands. He didn't know what to make of it.

Usually ninja villages were teeming with empty-eyed shinobi milling about with their hands on their kunai, braced for any threat. But here people held handbags, each other's hands, their children, groceries, books…

It was different, for sure. He had no doubt Gaara still had the appropriate safety measures in place - Suna, after all was a village full of omegas, which meant they were vulnerable to a lot of attacks that other villages didn't need to think about. But the lack of soldiers was still... different, to Sasuke. Something to get used to.

He decides to try going to sleep, instead. It's difficult, as he's used to being worn from fighting and thus settling in to sleep sporting wounds and exhaustion weighing him down, but today obviously there is none of that. He finds himself staring at the ceiling and thinking, his mind running in circles trying to make sense of his new home and whether he should find Gaara tomorrow. What the redhead was up to. How Shinki was doing. Whether Naruto would keep his word and let him have Sarada.

He decides - right before he drops off to sleep - to call Garuda (who he knows is flying high in the Suna skies right now, reveling in the sun and probably stealing tomatoes from someone's roof, or whatever it is she usually does when she's not with Sasuke, pecking at him and demanding seeds) and send a message to the Hokage.


After he sends his letter with the hawk - who flies from room to room in his apartment, seemingly checking out the place as she titters at him in approval - he decides to try and be productive. Or something like that.

The markets were fine if he went later in the day, he learns quickly. Less crowds are better. He could do what he needs to without feeling surrounded and suffocated, or like he has to watch his back.

Sasuke ends up doing most of his grocery shopping in the evening. He still keeps quiet and very much to himself and his small corner of Suna's residential districts and the markets, and he doesn't stay out long. Just long enough to gather what he needs and then retreat back to his space. Back to his scrolls and books. Back to the quiet of his small space in the corner of Suna's residential district.

Sasuke truthfully doesn't know what to do for the first week. It occurs to him that he doesn't really know how to live an average, domestic life. It's been years since Sasuke had to think about things like groceries. The last time he attempted anything like this was after he was orphaned and his clan was killed. And even then he'd been alone and so young and traumatized that it was all a haze. He does remember burning his hands while trying to cook for himself, though.

He wonders how exactly Naruto got by back in those days. Gaara, too.

By day four he repairs the small crack in the wall by the door with no use of ninjutsu or his sharingan - instead with the tools he bought from the hardware shop two streets over - and he feels more proud of himself than he probably should.

The kitchen at least looks fuller since he's done the shopping - less bare than the rest of the house - but he still needs to make several trips to several different stores and he tries not to overwhelm himself too much. So that night he cuts the day short and attempts to cook for himself, going through the same dilemma he went through at the markets. What does he even like to eat? How does he make it?

Sasuke remembers watching his mother cook, and even helping at times, though he was a very small child then. Once he got to a certain age his father had forbidden him to help in the kitchen, instead saying that a young boy needed to start training. So when he was five he was drawn away from his mother's side and a shuriken was placed in his hand.

Thinking about that leaves a bad taste in Sasuke's mouth. Kids shouldn't be given weapons, they should be playing and helping their mother's cook. He wonders if he's the only one who thought that practice was absolutely crazy.

No. He obviously wasn't. Gaara agreed. If he was here he would tell Sasuke that he thought the same.

He wishes Gaara was here, actually. He's a much better cook than Sasuke is.

He burns the rice, and disassociates for so long that the tea in the kettle boils down to nothing, but he didn't burn the place down, so he tries to focus on that. He redoes the tea, and throws the burnt rice in the trash, and starts again.

He tries to stay present this time, and not get locked in memories of his family or those days after losing him when he lived alone. He does alright the second time around.

The fish is slightly overcooked, but he learns that he shouldn't keep the heat up too high and he shouldn't leave it for so long. So there's that.

Sasuke's not terrible at this, at least. Nothing caught fire and he manages to stay grounded long enough to make a pretty decent dinner for himself (and it's more than onigiri, which is rare for him).

Sasuke has a quiet meal that he makes himself, in his own small corner of this desert village and he feels something close to contentment. Accomplishment.

Closer than he's felt for a very, very long time.

He reads until he falls asleep.


The next day is a bit different.

The old lady who lives next door hands Sasuke a bag of peppers she's grown the next time she sees him. She simply looks at him as she waters her potted plants when he goes out to attempt to buy a lamp so he can read when the sun sets, and wanders inside before returning and placing the small bag in his hand.

Sasuke doesn't know what to do for a moment, and just blinks at her in surprise. Who was she? Why would she care if he had peppers? She didn't even know him. He hasn't even introduced himself.

Every lesson about manners that his mother taught him seems to kick in after too long, and he thanks her and bows.

She smiles at him and pats his arm, nodding. Sasuke stands there a bit awkwardly, not used to a stranger being so warm to him so randomly. The old woman doesn't speak, and it crosses Sasuke's mind that maybe she can't, but she seems to get her point across anyway.

In return he helps her carry one of the large flower pots inside her home for her, bowing before he leaves. She waves at him in thanks and smiles again.


He buys a lamp. It's blue. He thinks he might like it.

That night he reads until he falls asleep again, and is awoken by the birds outside his window, chirping away.


Garuda delivers a message to him that afternoon, and Sasuke scans it quickly, feeling his chest clench. In Naruto's messy handwriting he reads that Sarada will be escorted by Shizune to the Hidden Sand a month from now. Naruto doesn't give much more information than that, but for Sasuke it's enough. More than enough.

He sits there on his balcony and blinks at the letter, heart pounding. He'll be able to have his daughter. He'll be able to have his family here with him, and he doesn't know for how long, but it really doesn't matter. The fact that he'll be able to hold his daughter's hand at all is enough.

Sarada.

Garuda settles in his knee and sqawks at him, demanding his attention.

He pets the bird and smiles.