The next morning he wakes and makes himself some coffee then relocates all the hidden weapons in his apartment to higher surfaces, out of the reach of a child. Sarada is arriving in two days, and Sasuke triple checks to make sure she can't somehow get a hold of anything dangerous.

Best to be safe.

Then he cleans, buzzing with anxious energy and thinking about nothing but his daughter and Gaara's scent lingering in his home. The cat curls up on Sarada's new bed, blinking up at him as he arranges and then rearranges the room, needing to do something to distract from his own buzzing anxiety. He tries not to think too much - like Gaara said yesterday - but he guesses he still needs some work, because his head is whirling with thoughts about what seeing his daughter again will be like. How she'll react to Suna.

How she'll react to him, too.


That night, Sasuke can't sleep. It's not for any morbid reason, he just can't seem to nod off. The cat curls up on his chest, purring away, and Sasuke spends about two hours just petting her and staring up at the ceiling before he decides to try something else. He could read, but he didn't want to burn through his new supply of books too quickly.

He wonders if Gaara's awake.

He doesn't know what possesses him to do it, but he summons Garuda and scribbles down a note, tying it to her leg and telling her to simply come back with the note if Gaara is asleep or seems busy. He opens the balcony doors and she ruffles her feathers, preparing to fly.

A few seconds after Garuda takes off, Sasuke hears a quiet thudding noise outside his own door. Sasuke pauses before instincts kick in and he stands slowly, quickly reaching for the newly sharpened kunai hidden under the countertop. He moves toward the door, eyes on the shadow under it. There's no scent, either.

The shadow shifts and the noise comes again, a bit louder this time.

Sasuke throws open the door, kunai poised to strike the threat - but instead finds himself looking down at a red panda with a small note in its mouth. He pauses for a moment, surprised. A summon?

Not exactly what he expected to find.

The creature blinks up at him expectantly, and he kneels to gently take the note from its mouth, giving the summon a gentle head pat.

"Thanks…" Sasuke says.

The summon merely blinks at him, ears twitching.

The paper is folded, and when he opens it he can see Gaara's neat handwriting.

It's his summon, then.

'Any chance you happen to be awake?'

Sasuke looks at it for a moment, realizing that they're both sending each other letters at the same time of night. Gaara clearly had the same idea.

What were the odds?

He looks down at the red panda who's taken to sniffing at the potted plant by Sasuke's door.

"One second." He says, unclear on if it can understand him. Sasuke assumes so, since Gaara had to give the little thing his orders somehow. He grabs an apple from the counter and returns to the front door.

He holds the fruit out to it, "I don't have any bamboo shoots, sorry. I hope that's alright."

The red panda doesn't seem to mind at all. The little thing bites into it and starts munching anyway, looking perfectly content.

Sasuke scribbles down a response.

'I am. I think we had the same idea.'

Sasuke folds the paper again, holding it out to the panda, who finishes his apple and takes the letter in his mouth gently.

"Thanks." Sasuke says. The animal blinks and nudges Sasuke's leg with his head. Sasuke assumes that means it understands him. Then it scampers away, bouncing down the steps and down the street.

Sasuke goes back inside, opening his balcony doors and waiting for Garuda to return, still wondering what the odds were that they reached out to each other at the same time.

A few minutes later he has a fussy bird on his shoulder and another note in his hands.

'I am, too. I supposed we both had the same thought.'

He scribbles on it, 'Busy?' and sends it back.

The exchange is only takes about ten minutes, and Sasuke suspects that Garuda enjoys flying through the night air and stretching her wings. She takes off and comes back without a complaint.

'Not at all.' Gaara writes back.

'Meet me at the park?"

'See you soon.'

Sasuke decides to keep the note, for some reason. He leaves it on the counter, gives Garuda some bird seed as a thank-you and puts on his shoes, patting the cat's head once more before stepping outside.


They talk and keep each other company, simply enjoying each other's presence.

It's calming, spending the quiet of the night together.

Sasuke goes home and falls asleep with no trouble at all.


The next day he somehow finds Gaara at the market again, looking torn between going into a shop of handmade tapestries and another bookstore. He wonders if every Kazekage before Gaara did their own shopping. Somehow he doubts it.

Sasuke isn't really looking for anything in particular, just wanted to get out of the house. He's taken to simply wandering about and exploring the village, thankful that it's late enough in the day that he doesn't have to avoid too many crowds of people.

"Sasuke. Hello." He says, spotting the alpha heading toward him. Gaara's face brightens a bit, and Sasuke feels himself have a similar reaction.

"What're you here for?"

"Some groceries." Gaara says.

"Need any help?"

"Yes, actually. I usually bring Shinki with me, but he's with Temari right now. Though I think you'll make a suitable replacement."

"I'll try my best." Sasuke says, smiling lightly.

"I suppose you'll have to do." Gaara says smartly. Sasuke snorts a small laugh and takes the basket from the omega, leading him down the street.

"What's next?"

"Hm?"

"On your list?"

"Carrots, actually." Gaara says.

Sasuke feels reassured that he can help Gaara for a change, so they shop for a bit, talking and sharing their plans for the day. Soon enough they've forgotten about the list and simply end up strolling along together as Gaara shows Sasuke some more obscure parts of the village that he hasn't gotten to know.

They talk about Sarada's arrival tomorrow, and Gaara assures Sasuke once more that he has nothing to worry about.

The more Gaara says that, the more Sasuke starts to believe it.


Curiosity draws them into a small shop filled with art and paintings. Sasuke can see how art styles in Suna and Konoha differ, eyes scanning painting and sculptures he's never seen before.

He's hovering around the art books when he spots Gaara by a canvas, unmoving. For some reason, he can sense that something may be wrong.

Sasuke wanders over, curious as to what the redhead was looking at. When he gets close enough to make it out he can see it's an ancient rendering of the Shukaku, and Gaara's eyes are fixed on it, his gaze far away.

"Gaara?"

The Kazekage doesn't respond, his hand clutching his bag in a grip so tight his knuckles go white. Sasuke can see the tension in his shoulders.

"Gaara."

No response.

"You okay?"

Gaara says nothing. It's like he was so far in his own head that he couldn't hear him.

Sasuke knows what that's like. He's experienced it a lot.

Sasuke wonders exactly what to do for a split second before his hand comes up and rests on the omega's neck, right over the place his scent imminates from the strongest.

He doesn't know why he does it, or why he doesn't think about it at all, but Gaara blinks and shakes himself out of it, looking up at him.

"Oh, Sasuke. I'm sorry, were you talking to me?"

Sasuke takes his hand from Gaara's skin, still somehow cool despite the summer sun, and frowns.

"Are you okay?"

"I...yes, I'm fine." He says, glancing back at the painting.

"Come on. " Sasuke says, wanting to get Gaara away from it, "Let's go somewhere else."

Gaara nods, eyes avoiding the canvas, "Yes, I...let's."

Sasuke takes his hand without a thought, leading him away. Gaara doesn't let go.


They only separate when Sasuke hands Gaara the cup of tea he orders for him at a vendor. Gaara thanks him, gathering himself and looking a bit more composed.

Sasuke doesn't get any for himself, he just hands the coins over to the man and turns back to Gaara, who starts to get some of his color back.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Thank you." Gaara says, "I just...I don't really know."

Gaara looks at him, a tilt to his head that has strands of fire-red hair falling into his eyes.

Sasuke's chest tightens and he feels his face betray him, flushing. Why did Gaara insist on doing shit like that? Was it on purpose?

Sasuke hears himself groan in frustration, heart clenching at the Kazekage's familiar physical tic. He rubs a hand down his face, trying to hide his rapidly reddening cheeks.

Gaara blinks at him, surprised. And Sasuke grows even more frustrated because somehow the only way Sasuke could describe that look on his face was...cute? He mentally winces.

Ridiculous.

But somehow that's all he can think. It's a stupid thought, but his mind comes up blank.

Gaara does it again, looking mildly confused. Sasuke feels himself frown deeper.

Gaara's eyes widen, and that doesn't help.

Sasuke sighs at him, frustrated. Gaara kept making faces that made his chest do more things he didn't recognize , and he was running out of patience because he didn't know why Gaara had this effect -

"Did something happen?" He asks, looking completely innocent.

Sasuke wouldn't even know where to begin to explain, so he just shakes his head,"It's nothing."

Gaara looks confused for a second, and that's even worse, but Sasuke bites his tongue. He feels his face heat up as Gaara blinks at him, looking puzzled and…

Cute.

Ugh. Enough.

Sasuke points towards another shop, desperate to save face, "Do you want to go in there?"

Gaara nods, "Sure."


By the time he's on Gaara's doorstep after having walked him home, Sasuke concludes that it's normal to think of your close friends as... physically endearing sometimes. Maybe that wasn't strange. Maybe it was normal. It's not like Sasuke hasn't thought Naruto's face was... good before. So maybe him being distracted by Gaara's face was nothing different. Right?

The lanterns of the Kazekage mansion are all lit up, casting bright yellow shadows on the door and walkway.

Gaara gives him that smile again, "This was fun. Thank you for your help, Sasuke. I'm sorry about...the paint shop. I'm unsure exactly what happened, truthfully. Thank you for helping me, though."

"Yeah, it was. No problem." Sasuke says, "And you don't have to apologize, or thank me. It's nothing, really."

Just wanted to know you were alright.

"Well, still. And...please give Sarada my best tomorrow." Gaara says, "And try not to think too much, alright? She'll be happy to see you, I promise."

Sasuke nods, quietly thankful for the reminder. He was starting to get a bit anxious again.

"Thanks."

"Of course."

They stand there for a moment, hesitating. Like they want to say something, but don't exactly know what.

And then that strange thing happens. That thing that happens where they just stare at each other.

Their eyes lock and don't look away, just memorizing each other's faces. Except it's a bit different , because Sasuke feels the need to lean a bit closer, and he doesn't even notice he does it until Gaara does the same.

They just stare into each other's eyes, gazes unwavering. The air around them goes quiet, charged with something Sasuke can't identify so quickly that it makes his head spin a bit.

Sasuke's chest clenches and for some reason he can't breathe. His brain seems to stop working, and he can't think about anything other than how close they are. His mind is preoccupied with Gaara's eyes , and...and…

His...lips look...soft, and ordinarily the thought would be very strange for Sasuke to notice, but right now it seems to be the most normal thought in the world. He was right, wasn't he? They do look soft.

They stand there - leaning into each other without any thought - just staring at the other and unable to tear their eyes away. It all lasts only a short moment, but it felt like so much longer than that, just being close to each other.

Gaara blinks up at him, looking just as dazed as Sasuke does, and the omega's scent goes so sweet and strong that Sasuke's brain only clouds further, and it's so alluring he has the strange urge to touch his cheek...his hair...was it as soft as Sasuke imagined it was? It looked like it was.

The Kazekage smelled so good…

All of a sudden Sasuke feels like he's just run miles, his heart pounds and he feels slightly dizzy from the head rush. He doesn't know where it came from, or how this happened so fast. One minute they were saying goodbyes and then the next his brain completely capsized in... whatever this feeling was.

Then Sasuke notices in his own scent, gone thick and cloudy as well. It clearly has its effect on Gaara - judging by the haze in his eyes, and Sasuke feels a sense of relief at that, that his scent had such an effect on the other man. It's like the space between them becomes mingled with their shared scent, robbing the place of any air .

Sasuke's fingers long to touch, and he finds himself leaning closer like his body has a mind of its own or like-like his brain was taking a back seat, if it was working at all. He doesn't know what he wants to do, but he suddenly longs to -

" Sasuke… " Gaara breathes.

Why does he say his name like that? So warmly? Doesn't he know that Sasuke can't think when he does that? Or when he gives him that tiny half smile?

Sasuke doesn't notice how close their faces are until they're sharing each other's air, and he can feel the puffs of Gaara's breaths across his lips. The omega leans a bit closer, like even he didn't know he was doing it, and his scent washes over him once more as Sasuke does the same, unable to stop himself. It's not even in his mind, actually.

Something in Sasuke threatens to snap, his mind gently nudging him to do something.

Sasuke's brain whites out. He feels himself start to reach behind Gaara to bring him closer, Sasuke's brain going blank and overriding any sense of inhibition or sense he has -

Then the door opens. Neither of them hear it until a small voice brings them out of their daze.

"Father?"

The moment breaks and they both startle and jump away from each other like guilty children. Sasuke feels his face explode in heat as he snatches his arm back. His heart pounds.

Gaara whirls around, his own face burning, "S-Shinki?"

The little boy rubs his eyes, squinting up at them both sleepily.

"Sasuke." Shinki yawns, taking his father's hand, "Hi."

"Hey, Shinki." Sasuke manages tightly, still feeling a bit dizzy. His head is spinning and he feels more than a bit unsteady on his feet. Gaara looks the same.

"What're you doing out of bed?" Gaara asks, avoiding Sasuke's eyes, red-faced.

"I was waiting for you to come back." Shinki says, "Uncle Kankuro read me a story, but you read them better."

"I see." Gaara says, picking him up, "I can definitely read you another story."

Shinki looks happy about that. Gaara's blush is as red as his hair, and Sasuke doesn't doubt he looks more than a bit flushed himself. He can feel his face burning.

"I guess I'll see you later?" Sasuke says, still recovering from whatever his brain and body just did.

Gaara looks a bit shaken himself, still flushed. He nods though, giving Sasuke a shy smile. It's different than the one Gaara usually gave him. But it was just as good.

"Yes, of course." He says, "Good luck with Sarada. You'll do fine."

Sasuke feels his face grow hotter and he nods, his own smile breaking through a bit.

"Thanks."


Sasuke walks home with his head in a fog.

He gets inside, feeds the cat, bathes and crawls into bed, head buzzing.

Sasuke's mind replays his last conversation with Gaara, remembering how they both just... froze when their eyes met.

Why was that happening more often? They'd stare at each other and then blush like children, looking away and scrambling to regain their composure.

Sasuke knew he was clumsy with emotions, but he couldn't help feeling like he was missing something. Something obvious. Something Kankuro and Temari understood, but for some reason Sasuke didn't.

He wasn't an idiot, the man's line of questioning that day - when he found him drinking at Gaara's kitchen table a few weeks ago - told the Uchiha that Kankuro knew something Sasuke didn't, but he couldn't quite grasp it. He's turned the conversation with the puppeteer over in his mind ever since it happened, but Sasuke still couldn't quite think through it.

They were friends. Wasn't this normal? Why did Temari look at them with such veiled amusement and suspicion then?

He keeps hitting the wrong answer, and it's supremely frustrating. Sasuke knew friendship - kind of. His friendship with Naruto was complicated, but he knew they were friends. As many issues as they had, he was sure of that, at least. But this felt different. Gaara was definitely his friend - a close friend, even - but something was different.

When they were children, smiles from Naruto used to give him a light feeling, and maybe Sasuke felt... similar when it came to the Kazekage, but he couldn't compare the feelings of childhood to feelings in adulthood. They were nothing alike, he knew that much.

This... feeling regarding Gaara wasn't the same. Heavier, maybe? Consuming? But at the same time, Sasuke felt at ease with the omega, and it was such a complicated tangle of emotions to pick through on top of all the other confusion in Sasuke's head. That smile Gaara gives him made his chest do such strange things, and he didn't have a word for it. Still doesn't.

He doesn't understand, and Sasuke groans, turning over and glaring at the darkened walls of his apartment. The cat curls up on his legs, clearly favoring Sasuke instead of her own bed for the night.

Why did it feel like that? Why did he notice everything Gaara did? Why does he wonder about the man? Why does his scent get to him like it does?

And then tonight. He'll admit he's...drawn to Gaara, and tonight it crescendoed. At least, he thinks it did. What else could he call that dizzy, breathless feeling? Or the need to be close to him like that? He couldn't stop thinking about his scent, his hair, his lips. How he tilted his head when he spoke, and how his sand moved around him, like an aura. How he moved.

It was so strange. Sasuke didn't notice that sort of thing about anybody. He'd been forced into bed with Sakura, and he'd simply tried to block out everything that was happening - and everything about her - the entire time. He never once noticed those little things about her, and he never focused on them like he does with Gaara.

For some reason everything Gaara did drew his gaze. Earlier today he put his hand against Gaara's neck - right over where a bondmark would be placed - and he'd never consider doing that for anyone else. He didn't even know what led him to do it. Sasuke didn't like touching people, he didn't like people touching him, but for some reason he wanted to touch Gaara. Feel his hair, his skin. He liked having Gaara so close to him.

Sasuke wanted to be closer, and if it wasn't strictly friendship...what else was there?

There were families. Friends. People who held hands as they walked down the streets and…

Hn.

For some reason his chest tightens at that. He never paid much attention to them - mates, couples whatever anyone wanted to call it. They were background noise to Sasuke. It all sort of was, but any sort of romantic gesture was largely ignored by him. Sasuke wasn't interested, and couldn't care less. But for some reason his brain latches on to the thought. Thoughts of people who kissed and held hands together. Things that were - previously - the farthest from his mind.

And then he's frustrated again, because as soon as he gets to thinking about that he starts thinking about Gaara again, and he can't wrestle his mind away from it.

Tonight was another moment where Gaara's presence completely absorbed his mind and any thoughts that could've crossed it. At the very last second...it was like-

It was like he leaned in to…

Was he…?

He wants to toss the initial thought to the back of his mind at first, it's so childish and embarrassing - not to mention a shock - but he can't take this any more. He needs to figure this out. This endless thinking himself in circles about Gaara and what was going on with his head when the Kazekage was near was driving him insane.

So he forces himself to confront it and think about it. To not run from his thoughts for once as soon as something got uncomfortable. Sasuke forces himself to face it.

…And he feels something connect.

Like a puzzle piece snapping into place, leaving the picture slightly more complete than it was before.

Where would tonight have gone if Shinki hadn't shown up? What would have happened? Sasuke forces himself to think through how it felt, being so close to Gaara. How his brain turned to static and how he was so drawn to him.

But he knows. As soon as he starts thinking about it, he knows.

Fuck.

When the thought hits him it's like being struck by lightning and having freezing water tossed over him at the same time. It occurs to Sasuke that the realization would be normal for most people, that they wouldn't feel like their heart was being squeezed in a crushing grip just from this realization alone - but Sasuke wasn't typical. He was a different sort of mess than most.

He wanted to...kiss him, didn't he?

When that thought hits him he feels like he's been punched in the stomach. He sits up immediately - shocked awake, much to the chagrin of the cat who is trying to sleep on him - and stares at the wall in the darkened room with wide eyes and a racing heart just trying to figure out what's happening to his brain .

And even then, through the shock of the realization...the feeling doesn't change. It doesn't go away. That want he has. Sasuke doesn't push the feeling to the back of his mind - stomp it down, or just plain ignore it - because he can't. For some reason he can't get that feeling out of his...brain? Body? Both?

His heart starts to pound because he knows that if Shinki hadn't shown up then he would have definitely ended up kissing Gaara. He couldn't lie to himself. It was true. He would've.

Sasuke wanted to, so badly. Even if he didn't know that was what he wanted in the moment.

And then another thought strikes him.

He's wanted to kiss Gaara for a while, hasn't he? He just didn't know what it...what it felt like? The closest he ever got to that feeling was Naruto, but their relationship was fraught with such complications and trauma that he never quite registered it, if he even got that far. He...suspects he may have...

Those last few years, while his loyalty didn't waver - it couldn't - his feelings for Naruto were... different, somehow. He cared for Naruto immensely - he'd die for him, without a thought - but something did change in his feelings for the blond since they were teenagers. Sasuke tries to think past his own pride and mortification to wonder if he ever wanted to kiss Naruto . Did he ever have the feeling that he had tonight with Gaara?

In the valley...after they had their battle - that was the closest moment he could compare tonight to. If they weren't mortally wounded and in danger of bleeding out, would he have done it?

Probably.

Sasuke's feelings back then were so all over the place he can't really remember what he was thinking when it came to his relationship with Naruto.

His soulmate. Isn't that what he was?

How can Naruto be his soulmate, but his... soul reach for Gaara? Was that normal? How can he be tethered to one by destiny and then end up so... interested and drawn to another?

It's frustrating.

True, Naruto and Gaara had their similarities, but they were more different than alike - to Sasuke, anyway.

Naruto was bright, loud. Gaara was settled, calm. Naruto was all bright blues and yellows. Gaara was red. Only fiery, fiery red. Naruto was bubbling and overflowing. Gaara was just under the surface. Quiet. Still as the desert.

Naruto was overwhelming, sometimes in a very good way. Gaara was also overwhelming, but subtle enough to get under Sasuke's skin while he wasn't looking or paying attention.

He wonders if Naruto felt the same about the Kazekage.

Two very different men that conjured the most confusion in Sasuke. The two men who made him question his own character, for better or worse. The two who could shake him.

What's he supposed to do? What does this mean? Can his heart really be attached to two different people this much?

Sasuke feels his stomach turn, but it's not the unpleasant nausea or discomfort he was used to, it was...something else.

He didn't know. The realization that he wants to kiss Gaara doesn't clear up anything at all, and it only answers one question while creating millions of others.

What the hell.

Sasuke swallows thickly, throat suddenly dry.

He thinks thought it all again. The feeling he'd get when Gaara looked at him, or gave him that small smile. How he seemed to automatically care about Sasuke and help him any chance he got. How he was so warm toward him. How he took Sasuke - a man known as a traitor, known for being untrustworthy and unhinged - into his home and nursed him back to health without a thought. How he considered Sasuke's feelings, like that was comepletely natural. How he never made Sasuke feel trapped or pitied. How he understood .

How Sasuke's heart hurt for Gaara's that night, hearing just a bit of what the man went through.

Even physically...Sasuke usually didn't look at things like that. He didn't care. Sure, he'd noticed how sharp Naruto's jaw was, and how blue his eyes were, but that wasn't completely the same feeling either.

Sasuke often had to tear his eyes away from Gaara, and sometimes he simply couldn't look at him at all. Certain things Gaara's hair or eyes did caught his attention, and made him want to stare, and touch.

And then there was that. The urge to touch him…


Sasuke has feelings for Gaara...and those feelings are not entirely platonic. Not even a bit.

He feels like his heart might give out.