Tony didn't move a muscle. He barely dared to breathe. Instead he watched as Loki fell apart. And of course he knew what was happening. He had experienced it himself enough to know; Loki was having a panic attack. He listened to the spew of words that never seemed to end and he was vaguely impressed. When Tony had an attack he couldn't breathe, could barely communicate, let alone have a full on monologue. Yet that was what Loki was doing. And Tony could only sit there, impressed.
"It's cruel. Dangling my magic in front of me like I'm some child. Meant to believe that I've been good enough to earn it. When according to most I've never been good enough, certainly not lately, not now. Cruel of you to come here when I'm finally...coping. As if you're some savior. As if I deserve saving. Knight in armor, though it seems you have come without the armor. I don't. I don't deserve help, or salvation, or compassion. I deserved to die but we can't allow that anymore. I deserve a cage considering most would categorize me a monster. And they would be right. Monster. Pathetic. Weakling. Runt. All I've ever been is nothing. And not even you would try to save something that is nothing."
Now Tony made attempts to interrupt. Which only caused Loki to get louder. Tony tried to reach out. Which made Loki violently shutter. All he could do was sit there and listen.
Eventually Loki stood up. His body tense, shoulders stiff, and fists clenched. He still saw the tea as blood and he wasn't sure whose it was meant to be. He couldn't breathe. And he wasn't certain it was necessary to try. He started to cry. Not the single tear that even Asgard would consider manly. Not a watering of the eyes. He was full on sobbing and he didn't know what to do.
"Pathetic," Loki still managed to degrade himself. "Nithing," he wasn't even trying to talk to Tony. His words weren't meant for anyone but himself. "It's a wonder the Alfather kept you at all." He turned away. Mumbling, "Mewling quim, of nothing and no one. Why should anyone care. A fool for thinking anyone would. Fool for thinking he would try. You don't deserve help, not after everything you did. Everything you are. He'll only hurt you. It's what they do. You deserve it. Pathetic."
Tony only got to hear snippets of what Loki was saying but he knew it wasn't good. He stood up seconds after Loki and walked after him. He tried harder to interrupt but Loki seemed to be past any and all attempts to break him out of this attack. Instead Tony went back the few steps to the table. He picked up the bracelet and went to stand in front of Loki. He put his left hand out to stop Loki from going any further away. He held up the bracelet in his other hand. "Hey, Tall, Dark, and Gloomy, I'm not- I just. You're not pathetic." He yelled. Tony knew that he shouldn't but after hearing Loki mutter 'pathetic' one more time he couldn't just keep standing there.
Loki wasn't quite aware that someone was in front of him till they yelled. He couldn't think where he was let alone when he was. So when when heard someone yell at him a voice in his head said that it must be the Alfather. He trembled harder. Not certain if the yelling was about something he had done or something had been meant to do. 'Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace.' 'Your birthright was to die as a child.' 'Why can't you be more like Thor?' 'You were an innocent child.' Loki fell to his knees as the voices reverberated in his head.
Loki had stopped talking. He had stopped yelling or ranting. Tony couldn't tell if he was even breathing. But when he fell to his knees Tony went down too.
Tony placed the bracelet between them. Though by this point he realized that Loki's qualms probably weren't completely entangled with it. He whispered sweet nothings hoping that something would break through. Not sure if Loki would want to be touched he decided to keep his hands to himself. He just kept talking. And people around them finished their drinks as if nothing was happening. As if all this was normal. He wondered if perhaps it was.
The voices stopped talking so terribly loud. Some of them even seemed to go completely away. And Loki started breathing a bit easier. The trembling continued.
He hadn't been certain whether Loki had been breathing or not. But Tony was certain of when Loki started breathing easier. And he just kept talking hoping that maybe it was working, "You're okay. Loks, you're gonna be okay. Just keep breathing. In and out. I saw you do it before. Come on, in then out. You're okay."
The trembling started to recede as Loki began breathing easier. The voices were all but gone. And he could finally hear what Tony was saying. Though it was near on impossible to believe any of it. He made to stand up but the whole world seemed to spill away from him the second he tried. So he settled back down.
Tony stood up, his knees feeling like they would give out any minute. He went to the table, grabbed the plate of scones, and sat back down on the floor across from Loki. Sat not kneeled, he wasn't going to make that mistake ever again.
Loki closed his eyes and took in a few more steadying breaths. When he opened them he looked directly at Tony, "I'm...sorry. I thought-" In then out. "I thought I could handle things today. I suspect that was simply another lie." He gripped his wrist till he could feel his bones creaking with the strain. It calmed him. It made him focus on the here and now. "Stark, I ask that you never play such games with me in the future."
Tony almost laughed. "I wasn't playing any games."
"Call this what you will. A game, a lie, a prank, a falsehood. It does not matter. You are not here to help me."
This time Tony knew how to stop him, "Here." He handed Loki one of the scones. "I'm sure you haven't eaten since you came into work. You need to eat. And as you do that, Darling, I'm going to explain some things.
Loki took the scone and started to nibble on it as Tony continued with his explanation. He wasn't certain what he could believe. And he didn't really want to listen to what Tony had to say. However he was hungry and he was tired and he just wanted things to slow down for a few moments. So Loki let Tony take over for however long it would take to eat the scone he had been given.
"I didn't come here to hurt or trick you. Ever since I left here last time I've been working on bracelet after bracelet. I'm hoping one of these will help you be able to live. You don't have to try them on or anything really. I just..." Tony shrugged and took a rather large bite out of his own scone. "Wow this is...actually good. Anyway, I thought that covering your problems isn't really helping you. And that melt down you just had kind of proves that. But if you had even a little more leeway in what you can do you might have a better chance at coping." He took another bite of the scone and let Loki take in what he said. But this time he was ready for any panic that may happen. This time Tony was ready to stop him from spiraling down a dark and harmful path.
