A/N: Wow you guys are amazing. I am doing a little digging into the books. I wanted to piece together everything the best I could for my no name bad guy (well girl). I adjusted the timeline a wee bit to better suite my needs. So if I fuck it up later on I do apologize.
A/A/N: I haven't felt like myself as of late and haven't felt much for doing much of anything. I won't lie I've been overwhelmed with just everything. I'm feeling better despite trying to get over the flu. I've changed my direction a bit for later chapters. Fair warning things will get worse for all including our yet to DTR couple. But I promise all will work out in the end.
Warning: Contains strong language, violence, sexual situations and suggestions.
So here goes. Enjoy Review. Fave and Follow!
Chapter 9- Desperate Reminders
…Twenty-five or so years ago...
Evelyn Johnson and Jeanine Matthews were born in Erudite. So close in age they had become close friends. They knew one another better then most people knew themselves. Even after Evelyn choose to leave, joining Abnegation. Where she met and married Marcus Eaton. Not long after the birth of their son, Tobias, that the years of abuse would finally take their toll. Around the time Tobias was three, Evelyn found herself having an affair. His name never revealed to anyone, other then he had choose to have nothing to do with her once the rumors started circulating. When she started to show, hiding it became impossible. Like many of those in their faction Marcus too and heard the whispers. Confronting her after a bottle of some homemade hooch and just like many times before he went into a rage.
Attempting to choke the life out of her, Marcus had his hands wrapped around her neck, a small strained yawn from behind him made him stop. Coughing back tears as she gasped for air when three year old Tobias had come into the room. Rubbing his eyes with his tiny hand, yawning he tugged on his mother's shirt. Scooping him up, it took all the strength she had to keep from shedding more tears. Taking him back to his room, tucking him back under his covers. Jumping slightly when she heard Marcus slam their bedroom door. Wiping the last of her tears, she kissed her son good-bye for the last time. Once he fell back to sleep, she quietly as she possibly could, slipped out of the house and turned to the only people in Abnegation who could help. Leaving her son with Marcus, something she regretted ever having to do. In the moment she never imagined Marcus would later turn his abuse on his only son. With the aid of Natalie and Andrew, they faked her death, successfully smuggling her out of the city.
A few months later, Evelyn returned in secret to Erudite. She was at least three weeks early and feared that giving birth in the faction-less sector would prove fatal for them both. Calling upon her most trusted childhood friend. Jeanine helped bring a tiny baby girl into the world shrouded in secret. Evelyn was faced with a new challenge of leaving another child behind. Resources and decent living conditions for the faction-less were scarce. She knew leaving her baby in Erudite would be their best chance at survival. Jeanine would raise the baby as her own, she held a position of power so no one would ask any questions. That a visiting old friend had assisted in the delivery before returning home. Jeanine insisted that Evelyn have nothing to do with the child, not even allowing her to name her, much less hold her. Effectively convincing the exhausted woman it was for the best. That the baby would be better off in Erudite then she'd ever be, given the circumstances in the Faction-less sector.
Marisa Matthews was born and raised in Erudite. When she was around eight or nine, Jeanine began to see her as more then just her adoptive daughter but a progeny. Mentally grooming the girl in her image. It was clear early on that she belonged in Erudite.
Later gaining Jeanine's ever growing hatred for the Divergent. Little did Jeanine know that the girl dark side, almost drowning a girl a year older then her in one of the simulation tanks. Luckily the girl was rescued just in time. She wrote it off as a couple of kids playing around that ended in an almost fatal accident. Jeanine knew Marisa had played a part in it, but she never questioned her. The motives were unclear as to why she felt the need to hold the girls head under water.
Jeanine was busy running trials and tests, trying to find ways to discover the divergent. She had acquired a box, with an even more complicated puzzle in unlocking it. It was months before Jeanine realized that the only way to open it was to use people. Their fears, decisions, strength. But what she was looking for was different, special, showing high levels of Divergent. Problem was that the few she managed to find would end up dead before reaching the halfway point. So far in the fifteen years since the box came into her possesion. They had inconclusive aptitude tests that weeded out the few who failed to hide it. Becoming obsessed with destroying those she couldn't fully control the actions of. Her hatred of them grew with each passing initiation ceremony, then more and more each day. Knowing there were those who had managed to slip through the cracks. He had saved the girl from the tank, showing little fear in the process. Setting into motion the gears that powered Jeanine's ever growing lust for power. He would be her puppet, a way into Dauntless. The years of tests had given those searching an idea of what to look for. Dauntless used simulations for two thirds of the factions initiations, made it Jeanine's optimum choice. She would find what she was looking for.
For the years to follow, Jeanine watched him carefully. Mentally testing him, pushing him. Simulation after simulation, forcing him to fight to kill. When he came of age to choose his future faction, she injected him with a pale orange serum. This one left him fully awake but not in full control, and far more aggressive then she had ever anticipated. Seeing it more of an opportunity then a failure, especially when his aptitude test placed him in Dauntless and in Erudite. Pleased when he ranked second, establishing his position as one of the Dauntless Leaders.
Little did she know that the box she was searching for would be the key in her own destruction. Living as they were was not so those in Erudite could live in luxury. All the while everyone else was at their mercy. When the recording was unlocked and released for the entire city to view. They learned they were not alone or the first.
The conversation with Hel and Eric put Four's own memories into question. His mother had an affair and with help faked her death. There was always a hanging rumor that she had died in childbirth but was she ever pregnant? The thought hung heavy on his shoulders, if Evelyn did have another child would she really send her or him to Erudite? Maybe it was what sparked his mother to lead a army of Rebels against the faction system and Jeanine. It was possible, Jeanine could have turned her child into a monster, another Jeanine. Ultimately her own fail safe. Had her so mentally screwed she became the living breathing incarnation of Jeanine.
Could he tell his friends? Tris knew the rumor, most in or from Abnegation knew how Marcus Eaton was. Violent and abusive were just a few words used to describe that man, no one could blame Evelyn for leaving. Except Four, she had abandoned him, leaving him in the care of his abusive father.
He squeezed her shoulder in an attempt to put her at ease. Flinching away from him at first, she was still on edge. He gave her a pained expression before returning to his usual cold demeanor. Since he started spending most of his downtime with Hel, even he noticed a change in him. She was quiet until they reached her apartment. Her eyes scanned every face she passed, she wasn't sure what she was looking for other then a distraction. After the day she had just had, she didn't care if someone seen them together. Despite the crazed girl stalking her, her secret relationship being discovered was the least of her worries.
Slipping inside behind her, her gripped her arms and spun her to face him. She looked at him with a raised brow when he leaned in to kiss her. Turning her head, his lips met her cheek instead.
"Are things really that weird between us now?"
"Well I just found out I'm kinda of the reason why she chose you. So excuse me for feeling weird."
"Why who chose me? Jeanine?" Rubbing his hands down her arms.
"Her and that girl who neither one of us can seem to remember."
"That's just the thing, how is it neither of us can remember who she is?"
"Maybe it has to do with what Jeanine did to us..."
"To us? She turned us into mindless fucking idiots and murderers." Pulling away from him. Backing away from him when he reached for her.
"It wasn't our choice and those behind it paid for it."
"It still doesn't change the fact that choice was taken from us...or that I'm actually starting to freak out..."
A tear slid down her cheek just as another one started to fall. He had never seen Hel cry of all people not even during her initiation. This was new territory for him, this small powerful was starting to cry and he just stood there, unsure of what to do. Taking her into his arms, she started to fight against him and still he held her. When the tears and the fighting slowed, he continued to rub her back and she clung to him. Looking up she saw his face was unchanged, maybe a little relieved that the crying had stopped. It didn't bother her though, even feeling some sort of relief herself when he kissed the top of her head.
"That was a first." He gave her a almost apologetic smile.
"What was?" Wiping the streaks of eyeliner from her cheeks with her sleeve.
"That someone cried in front of me and I didn't yell at you."
"Lets just hope it stays that way. This stays in this room." Despite her eyes being a little red, she had relaxed. Playfully poking him in the chest and his side.
"Or what?" He smirked and playfully flinched from her fingers.
"I just might find a new boyfriend or boy toy, I haven't decided yet." Looking at him with a raised brow as she backed away from him and headed for the bathroom. He leaned in with both hands on the door frame. Nearly flinching when she closed the door in his face.
Once the door clicked shut she flipped on the faucet. Letting the cold water run over her fingers, splashing it on her face. The sound smothering out the sounds of her tears returning. She was scared that what ever this girl had in store for her, for them. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she wondered where Eric was. If he was pacing outside her door or did he leave. Completely removing the last soggy bit of her make-up. Feeling slightly better then when she first entered, she stepped out. Completely ignoring the fact he was sitting on her couch, going through something on the tablet. He hadn't notice she had headed straight for her room.
Changing into something a lot more comfortable then her jeans. The loose material of her long pajama shorts and a cut off t-shirt was at the top of the comfort list. Tossing her dirty clothes into the small laundry basket, looking back at the empty bed calling her name. Nearly punching the section of concrete wall beside the door, her fist stopping just short of it. Taking a deep breathe to calm herself and headed straight for the kitchen. Grabbing the bottle, letting the cap hit the counter before watching it roll into the floor. Rolling her eyes, taking a long drink straight from the bottle. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She couldn't figure out what was going on. Her emotions seemed to be running in overdrive and she didn't know why.
Finding her apartment empty except for her. The days events were taking there toll on her and possibly her relationship. She searched her mind for any glimpse of any girl even slightly resembling the girl who attacked her and still nothing from before she came to dauntless. Leaning her elbows on the counter, rubbing her temples and tried to remember past the door leading away from the water filled tank. Taking another drink, enjoying the gentle burn and picked up the cap from its spot on the floor. It had been a while since she retreated into the bathroom. After a good thirty minutes and he still hadn't returned, she crawled into bed alone. Curled into a ball in the middle of the bed, finally falling asleep.
Eric left the apartment, he didn't want to bother her. Didn't want to push her past annoyance, not after the day she had had. Not sure how long she'd be locked in her bathroom, he went home. Changing into his sweats he decided to go for a run around the compound. Wanting to keep his head clear , he stayed clear of the Pit. Hating himself for not being more help, not being able to remember much of anything before his Choosing Ceremony. Other then bits and pieces of his childhood, the one memory he had of Hel was one he couldn't quite figure out. The how he just happened to show up in the nick of time to save her.
Running til he was outside the front entrance of the compound, slightly out of breath but picked up his pace. Circling the entire outside of the Dauntless compound more then once. Halfway through the third lap, he changed direction, scaling up the wall to the initiate entrance. Wiping the sweat off his brow with his forearm then jumping into its bottomless black hole. Feeling the air escape his lungs on impact, but ever enjoying the rush. It had been a long time since he had jumped, lying there til the bouncing slowed and rolled toward to the edge. Bouncing on the balls of his feet once they were back on the ground. Throwing a few ghost punches, when something caught his eye.
He felt like was being watched, more then just the security cameras. Rounding the corner and finding nothing. That particular hallway had no doors or windows just a straight shot about a hundred feet long. Normally rarely used halls like this one were dimly lit, but with the added security or lack there of they were more brightly illuminated. Leaving no place to hide and there was no other exit. He made his way down the hall, keeping his vigilance. Finding nothing and no one other then himself. The stress was finally getting to him. The details of the day, all the new information of their past, their missing memories were starting to catch up to him. Rubbing his temples and made him way home. Passing a few drunken members on a stumbling path back to their apartments.
Seeing that she must have went to bed. He grabbed a quick shower and joined her in bed. As gently as he could, he moved her. Lying down behind her, he wrapped her in his arms. Kissing her shoulder and neck then her hair. When she shifted, he tensed, thinking he'd woken her only to have her snuggle closer into him. His mind racing despite how tired he was. Why couldn't he remember her before she joined dauntless? Not really.
His memory of the day he had saved her from drowning. Only bits and pieces, nothing before or after. He wondered if Jeanine had done something. Something more then just some experimental serum that left him an angry puppet soldier. Was the now long dead woman capable of tampering his memories as well as his mind? Was Hel more then just another one of Jeanine's victim's?
Four waited til Tris was asleep. Like the others he was in no mood to explain what was going on to Tris. He would cross that small angry bridge when the time came. This wasn't about her. As the train rounded the corner, he shifted uneasily on his feet. Mentally preparing himself for the conversation he was about to have. Watching Evelynn jump from the train car, catching herself before she could fall. He cleared his throat as she dusted herself off. Giving him an almost smug look as she smiled at him.
"Come on, we should talk in my office."
For once she kept quiet. Her and Four hadn't really spoken in the years since the war. This wasn't a courtesy call and Four wasn't going to let his mother turn it into one. She followed him, seemingly amazed at the once oblivious little boy she left behind. Sitting almost doe eyed across the desk from him.
"If you have any hope of having any relationship with me..."
"What is this about, Tobias?"
"I told you not to call me that."
"Fine, Four."
"Did you...were you..." Pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, unable to figure out exactly how to find the words.
"Was I what exactly?"
"Were any part of the rumors surrounding your bullshit death true?"
"I could have lived the rest of my life not ever speaking about this."
"So it true? I have a younger sister I didn't know even existed til now?" Standing, he gripped the back of his chair til his knuckles turned white. Evelynn shifted in her chair, legs no longer crossed. A deep set sadness in her face. Scoffing at her as he saw a tear roll down her cheek before she could catch it. Resting her elbows on her knees, she took a deep breath. The truth had to be told for once.
"I was pregnant when I left, it was part of the reason why I left."
"Only part of?"
"Yes, I was scared but I never thought your father would ever...do the things he did to you."
"This isn't about me. So please continue."
"I could barely keep myself alive, much less two children. I did what I thought was best. The faction-less weren't as organized, self sufficient as it is now." Four stared at her, digging his nails into his palm.
"Well we know what happened to me, what happened to my sister?"
"Half sister."
"Really? Do you seriously want to get technical right now."
"You want me to tell you fine, I left her in Erudite the night she was born."
"You thought leaving her there was better?"
"Jeanine was different then. Things were different. More complicated then you'll ever understand."
"So who is she?"
"I haven't seen my daughter since the night I gave birth to her. They didn't even let me hold her before telling me I had to leave. What does it matter anyway, she's dead."
Her throat felt dry and sore. More tears flowed down her face, before taking a deep breath and wiping her face.
"What do you mean she's dead?"
"Jeanine sent me a message. She would have been six or seven at the time."
"I can't believe this. You never asked for some kind of proof? Or anything?
"No and I don't have to explain that to you."
"With all the shit Jeanine did? Do you seriously think she wouldn't lie to you?"
"I realized a long time ago she wasn't the innocent blonde girl that chose to stay in Erudite when I defected to Abnegation."
"So with all your little faction-less minions you never once thought to see if she was lying?"
"Honestly I did. Without any information it would have been useless and a waste of man power."
"Well let me enlighten you a bit,"Mother"." Letting his irritation get the best of him, he threw air quotes at her. Before sitting back down in his chair. Wishing he had a beer or something stronger. She sat up straighter, using the back of her hand to clean up face before using her sleeve.
"With what has been happening recently next time you decide to off yourself keep better track of your kids."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I mean that your daughter is alive and always has been alive."
"What? If you thought bringing me here just to hurt me by saying this shit, you were sadly mistaken."
"If I wanted to hurt you, I wouldn't have bothered to ask you here in the first place."
"I know I hurt you, but I have tried to make up for it. I let you know the truth when you first defected."
"Not the whole truth."
"For that I am sorry for. I didn't see the point of telling you about your sister. She was a stranger who had no connections to us."
"She is a stranger hell bent on something."
"Stop it. Just stop. What the hell aren't you telling me?" Forcing herself to keep from shedding another tear. Watching her now grown son sigh into his hand as he let out a heavy sigh. Part of her still saw him as the small pale boy. Here he was, dressed in black and covered in tattoos. She half wondered if some of them were just covering up some scar left behind from his father. Then she saw a peak at the number six peaking just under the sleeve of his shirt. Silently scoffing to herself, because she knew it was for the timid Divergent girlfriend. Pursing her lips she rested her elbows on the edge of the desk.
"I don't have a lot of definite information just yet. The girl is question has been elusive since she attacked Hel."
"Attacked Hel?"
"Yes Evelynn, Hel was attacked a few weeks ago. Me, Tori and Eric did our best to keep a tight lid on the incident." He was eerily calm, going through the few details of what happened. Leaving out the exact timeline and other details like the mystery serum.
"Hel's okay? I can't believe that there's a possibility that for all these years...she...I never thought it possible" The realization was slowly starting to seep in, part of her now understood the anger Four felt towards her. She was now sitting in his shoes but for her own daughter. Her anger seeped in a little faster that Jeanine, a once friend would stoop so low in the beginning and torture her like this.
"For the most part she is."
"Does the girl have a name?"
"We don't know. The guy she seduced was so drugged or drunk the next day, that we were surprised he even remembered his own name to tell us anything new."
"What's wrong with Hel?" Changing the subject, her relationship with Hel wasn't in any means better then her relationship or the lack there of with Tris. Seeing Hel as someone she thought was a better fit for her son then the scowling Divergent girl. In her heart though she knew it would never be.
"Other then a few bruises and a fractured rib or two, we don't know."
"Nothing that can't be handled I take it."
"Exactly."
"Its getting late. The last train should be here soon."
"Will you be okay to ride alone?"
"I'm never alone, Evan and Zuri are accompanying me back." A small but subtle smile graced her lips as she stood. Four following after. He insisted on walking her to the train platform, despite her assurances. Giving nods to the pair that arrived as the train neared. One hanging haphazardly from one of the cars. His mother thought about hugging her son, scared of the potential rejection that could follow. Instead she gently but firmly squeezed his shoulder.
"If I get any new information on the subject. I promise I'll let you know."
"Thank you. Tob...Four."
Without another glance the now trio on the train disappeared into the distance, out of sight. At night the darkness seemed to swallow up the city. The eerie glow of the Erudite tower was all Four seen as he shut the heavy steel door behind him.
Hel awoke to find herself tucked into Eric's bare chest. His left arm draped over her hip. Her hands smoothed over his chest, feeling the heat that radiated off of him. The soft brush of his chest hair against her fingers. She couldn't understand why her heart was racing, it wasn't like he was some strange guy she brought home from the Pit. His sudden movement, startled her. Causing her to jump slightly before feeling froze in place. Hands still on his chest, feeling the ripple of his muscles. When she realized his other arm was tucked under her neck he was pulling her closer to him. Kissing the top of her head, he groggily spoke.
"You okay?"
She didn't know how to reply, so she simply nodded. Her hands still on his chest. She wasn't completely lying, but she was feeling a little bit better. Glad that despite everything, he came back. Pressing her lips to the spot just above his heart. His lips trailed to her forehead, then lightly brushed his nose with hers. She didn't avoid him this time, instead meeting his lips half way. His other hand painted invisible trails of goosebumps from her hip and down her side. Hooking his fingers at her knee, bringing it up to his side. Dragging his fingers along the exposed skin, back up to her hip. Shivering slightly as goosebumps crept across her body. Instead of deepening the kiss Eric did something completely unexpected, out of character even. Gently pulling away, he wrapped her back in his arms. Kissing the top of her head again. To tired to protest, she surrendered without a fight.
