"Satisfied?" Thor stuttered, unsure of what Loki even wanted him to say. "Of course I'm not...I didn't. Norns, what happened?" He couldn't seem to take in what was before him. Wished ever so desperately for all of this to be another one of his brother's tricks but he knew it wasn't. Somehow he knew that this brutality was real and he wanted it to just go away.
Loki let the illusion fall back upon him and sat down in his chair. He took a sip of his tea. And then he took another and another. For the first time in days he felt calm, steady, in control. He only payed attention to the tea and to what Thor would have to say. He even almost smiled.
The second Loki went back to looking normal, Thor felt a bit better. But he kept looking, kept seeing in his mind's eye what was actually there. The cuts and burns, the extent of which shouldn't have been possible. No wonder Loki had run. No wonder he had rather die then keep on living, kept making that same choice over and over. Now Thor did cry. He cried with reckless abandon. "I'm sorry."
Loki flinched. He hadn't expected sympathy, tears, or concern. He had expected his Not Brother to lash out. Thor always had been known to go into a berserker rage and Loki had meant for his Not Brother to slip into one. Had thought that Thor would see this truth as yet another lie and strike him where he sat. But Loki was still breathing, still living, and Thor was only crying. As if he meant to fix this with tears instead of fighting. Loki laughed and this time it did t sound nearly so broken. This time his laughter was the wind in the trees, memory of a past that could have been. Loki set his teacup down and laughed till Thor stopped crying.
"How can you be laughing?"
"Because this is the most absurd thing I've seen in weeks. The great and golden Thor weeping over Asgard's justice. You've become even softer than I thought."
"And what am I meant to do? I'm I meant to rejoice at your suffering. Brother, I never thought...never meant for this to happen. Punishment, yes. But I thought the worst thing Odin would do to you was put you in prison."
"This was prison." Loki took in a breath and then another to steady himself. He had to remember where he was. Had to remember that he wasn't still there. "Perhaps I was given special treatment. Or perhaps Odin lied once more." Loki traced the chain links that lined his wrists and let them appear for a brief moment, "These were from Him, just after my fall." Thicker marks replaced those, deeper and darker, "Asgard when they still dreamed me worthy of fighting their justice." Thin white marks replaced those, "He branded these upon me when I almost got away."
Loki let go of his wrist and let all those marks fade far away. He let his illusion fall off of his hands, let them appear as they always were, broken and bloody. "He didn't like when I fought back." He let one of his eyes become a milky red, "Asgard doesn't seem to approve of my being a frost giant any more then I thought they would." His eyes went back to normal and all his burns appeared across his body, "these I got from various places. Frost giants have such a terrible reaction to being burned, everyone seems to want a chance to see the sight."
Thor wanted to look away. But he didn't, couldn't. He owed his brother this much, at the very least. His stomach churned and for the first time in years he was almost certain he would retch. But for now he held the urge back because Loki deserved him to hear everything he wished to share.
Loki shuddered and let his true form show; all the cuts, burns, whip lashes, the dulled eyes, the broken bones. He dropped everything including his Aesir skin, becoming various shades of mostly dark blue. "I'm still the monster that parents tell their children about at night. But now I am the monster and the child. I want to be saved but I don't think I can be. And I just want it all to end. But it doesn't. Of course it doesn't. Instead I only ever am given over to someone else. Because monsters don't get to be redeemed. I don't get to claim my story, tell what happened, because the second I say anything it is deemed a lie. All because I was the one who said it. I want...I want to sleep and not wake up confused on who controls me. I want to be the only one in control of me. I want to feel whole, not have to hide behind some illusion. I want to know that I'm not just dreaming all of this because the last time I felt pleasure it was His illusion to make the pain resonate even more." Loki didn't feel the tears and he wasn't sure they were even his. Maybe he was being controlled once more which was a thought that only made him cry harder.
Thor made his way out of his chair and took Loki into his arms. "I'll protect you. This time I'll do a better job of being your brother. I won't let anyone hurt you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He rocked them back and forth like Frigga once did when they had been children. "You're safe now. You are safe here. I'll protect you." He kept saying any comforting thing he could think of hoping that it was true. Hoping that Loki would believe him even after all he had been put through.
Natasha had finished her brownie by then. In actual fact she had finished it several minutes ago. She carefully stood up, shook her crumbs onto the tray, and walked away from the table. She knew now that Loki wasn't going to threaten Earth or anyone else. She was satisfied in her assessments. So she made her way to the counter at the front of the shop and walked around to be behind it. She placed a rather large manila envelope on the second shelf of the counter by a cup that seemed to be used most often. Loki would find it soon enough.
