-o- CHAPTER ONE -o-
to-do list
Two years ago, we had been children. Two years ago we chased each other in games of tag, along this very beach; played hide and seek in the nooks and dark corners of the cove. It was the same beach, the same people, but in only two years' time, something truly remarkable seemed to have happened. We weren't children anymore.
A group of teenagers lounged in a circle around a blazing bonfire, on the shore of the beach we had known since childhood. Across the flames, I spotted Riku and Sora play-fighting with their wooden swords, laughing. Several of the other island kids watched them in amusement. I took this moment, when everyone's attention was diverted, to approach Tidus once more.
"Come on, Tidus," I whined, tugging on his shirt sleeve. "I'll give you all the money I made working at the snow cone stand this summer. Over 1,000 munny! Come on, just a few sparring sessions, that's all I'm asking."
Tidus yanked his arm free of me, chuckling. "Forget it, Kairi. Sora would kill me." He reached down into the bag of marshmallows at his feet and placed one on the end of his thin wooden stick.
"Hey, Selphie!" he called to the other end of the circle. "Want me to roast you a marshmallow?"
Selphie, who had been deeply engaged in conversation with two other girls from our neighborhood, excused herself from them and joined Tidus. "Sure," she said, sliding close to his seat on a log. "That's really sweet of you."
Tidus beamed back at her, looking extremely smug. I resisted the urge to mime vomiting while he stuck another marshmallow on the end of his stick.
Frustration rose in my cheeks, and I was certain I was turning pink in the face. Lately, I always seemed to be frustrated. I folded my arms, determined to sway him. "Sora's not my mom, Tidus," I argued weakly. "He doesn't get to decide what I do."
"Are you still going on about that?" Selphie interrupted. "Why do you want to learn to fight, anyway? We're too old to be rough-housing with the boys."
My cheeks grew hotter. It was bad enough that the boys never took me seriously, but having my closest girl-friend criticize me as well wasn't exactly boosting my ego.
"I want to be able to protect myself," I said softly, staring into the towering orange fire.
I thought of the evening on the beach when Axel appeared. He chased me through the Darkness, tracked me down in Twilight Town, and kidnapped me. He had laughed as I tried futilely to free myself from his iron-grip. And then, when Saïx attacked us, I was powerless again to do anything. I was passed from the clutches of one kidnapper to the next. I was made a prisoner in the Castle That Never Was. It was only because of Naminé that I had escaped. It was only because of Riku that I even had a weapon to defend myself. It was only because of Sora and the King and the others that I made it out of there alive.
That long journey left me reeling. I didn't want to be rescued any more. I wanted to stand and fight.
Tidus and Selphie exchanged skeptical glances and laughed softly at me.
"Aw, go on," said Tidus, pulling a hot, gooey marshmallow off his stick and handing it gingerly to Selphie. "Protect yourself from what? You think you're gonna get mugged or something, walking around Destiny Islands?"
I clenched my fists and teeth together tightly, but said nothing. Tidus and Selphie couldn't understand. The things that Sora and Riku and I had seen, the dangers and horrors, the wonders of other worlds… we never spoke about them to others. "World order" was what the King called our silence. People were safer if they just didn't know.
"Just… never mind," I said tiredly. Neither Tidus nor Selphie called after me when I abruptly departed, shuffling away from the bonfire without another word. I could only assume they were eager to spend time alone, stuffing each other's faces full of marshmallows and making googly-eyes.
The glow of the bonfire and the lively chatter of my friends grew dimmer as I marched away from the crowd. I had already begun untying my row boat from the dock when a wiry, athletic figure bounded over to me.
"Kairi, wait!" he called out. I didn't need to look up to know who it was. Sora's voice always rang out to me, a constant comfort, familiar as a mother's touch.
Not that I would know what a mother's touch felt like, of course. That's probably why I clung to Sora so; he was the only thing that felt like home to me. He was the closest thing to family I'd ever known.
With a sigh, I stood up from where I squat beside my boat tether, and folded my arms as I faced him. "What's up?" I said, trying to sound indifferent.
"Why are you leaving so early?" he asked, a childish pout spreading across his face.
It was hard to stay mad at Sora. I knew he wasn't trying to upset me, but all the same, he'd been making my life pretty difficult lately. He wouldn't teach me to fight, and no one else wanted to upset Sora by teaching me. His concern for me was touching, but it was standing in the way of my ambitious goals.
"I'm tired," I lied. "I want to get plenty of sleep tonight. Early start tomorrow."
"Whatcha gettin' up early for? Tomorrow's Saturday." Sora took a step closer to me, scratching the back of his head with his toy sword awkwardly.
I sighed with impatience. "You know why. I want to get in a full day's training."
Sora frowned slightly. "You're really into this training thing, aren't you? You know there's probably no reason…"
I had heard this argument from Sora many times before, but it wasn't any less infuriating to hear it again. "When the time comes to fight again, I want to be ready! You know that, Sora!"
I could see the sting in Sora's eyes, and I wished I hadn't raised my voice. "There won't be any reason to fight," he said quietly. Almost desperately. "There can't be. We fought too hard, for too long. Everything's the way it should be now. And if anything ever does happen again… me and Riku will fight. We'll protect you."
He reached out with his hand, calloused by countless battles, and touched my cheek. I blushed. It was awful hard to stay mad. I could hear the love in his voice, and I knew it was only because he cared so much that he didn't want me to have to fight.
But his feelings didn't change what I wanted.
"Naminé told me it wasn't over. She said I would have to trust my heart, and my heart is telling me to be ready to fight. She said… that you would need me."
I placed my delicate hand inside of his and searched his eyes desperately. I needed to make him understand.
"Well, I do need you, Kairi. But that doesn't mean you have to fight. Maybe I just… need you. The way you already are."
The rubber soles of his sneakers squeaked against the wet dock, edging closer to me still. Even in the dim moonlight, I could see his cheeks turn pink. My stomach started doing somersaults as I watched his shoes, too nervous to make eye contact. It was one of those startling, miserably awkward moments where you should know what's about to happen, and you should be excited about it, but you're so insanely nervous that your mind goes blank and your mouth goes numb and you get a little dizzy and you hope that you'll wake up and this tedium will all just have been an unfortunate dream…
"Um, I should go," I spluttered out, just as Sora's face came so close to mine that I could smell the cherry soda on his breath. "Really… really tired… yeah."
A little too loudly, I coughed, and tripped over my boat tether as I scrambled into my boat and pushed off the dock. As I rowed back toward the main island, I watched the outline of Sora, standing on the dock, scratching his head in disappointment.
-o-o-o-
Beneath my ribs, I felt the sharp sting of my muscles starting to cramp. My lungs were on fire, and my seared breathing pounded loudly in my ears. It was barely dawn, but the island humidity was already thick and suffocating, the heat sweltering and merciless. Dripping sweat, panting desperately, clutching my throbbing side, I continued to run. Sand sprayed in every direction as my sneakers hit the beach. For a moment, I was so intent in my running that all sound seemed to be sucked from the universe. The streets beyond the shore disappeared from my periphery. There was only my beating heart and the rising sun in the distance.
I skidded to a halt at last. I let out a scream, trying to wake the silence that surrounded me. Trying to bring me back.
"Quite the athlete," snickered a voice behind me.
Still panting, I turned, feeling a little startled and embarrassed to see Riku standing right behind me, smirking. "What are… you doing… awake…?" I said, placing my head between my knees as I caught my breath.
Riku chuckled and handed me his canteen. "Couldn't sleep last night… finally gave up at dawn and came for a walk."
Gratefully, I chugged the cool water. It spilled down my face, icy trickles against my flushed skin. When my breath was steady enough to speak again without embarrassing myself, I looked at Riku, examining the rough purple circles beneath his eyes.
"More nightmares?" I asked with a soft frown.
Riku nodded, staring out at the sea rather than meeting my eyes. Sora's adventures had been grand, and my own journey to find them had been tumultuous, but I knew that neither of our stories could match the agony Riku had endured. He had battled alongside Maleficent, been banished to Darkness, and lived inside Ansem's skin. His journey was scarring, and it still haunted his sleep.
"Sora had dreams," I said, thinking aloud as I carefully watched Riku's tired face. "Before the Door opened. He said he'd been having strange dreams. Do you think… your dreams mean…?"
"It's over, Kairi," Riku answered with a sigh, anticipating my train of thought all too easily. "Nothing's coming. My dreams are just what you said they were: nightmares."
I folded my sweaty arms and pouted. "You can't even humor me for a second, can you?"
Riku laughed, each smile line disguising the anguish which had shaped his face only moments ago. "Sorry, Kiki, you're just starting to turn into a broken record is all. I don't think a day has passed in almost a month where you haven't bugged me about teaching you to fight."
"If you would just give in and do what I ask, I wouldn't have to bug you about it anymore," I pointed out, batting my eyes sweetly.
Riku wrinkled his nose. "Oh, stop that. The puppy eyes won't work on my any more. Save it for Sora. Besides, you're all sweaty and flushed and kinda gross-looking right now anyhow…"
"Oh, shut up!" Growling, I punched him in the shoulder as he continued to laugh at me.
"Whoa, chill, you know I'm just kidding." He rubbed his shoulder, examining it with an amused expression. "Damn, you really have been working out though, haven't you? That might actually leave a bruise…"
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, you can stop teasing me any time now."
"No, I'm serious." He reached out his strong hand, sun-kissed and calloused, and grabbed hold of my arm. "You've got some free weights at home?"
I nodded cautiously, not sure if he was being sincere or just making fun of me some more.
He nodded in return. "You should try some reps of these," he said, gently guiding my arms into different angles. "Strengthen these muscles here, see? That'll help when you're handling a weapon."
Scoffing, I yanked my arm out of his hand and turned away from him. "Gee, thanks for the heads up. Won't do me much good to be able to lift a weapon if no one will show me what to do with one, though, will it?"
As I stared angrily at the vast blue ocean in front of me, I heard Riku sigh. After a moment of standing in the morning's silence, he stepped closer to me.
"You've been running like this every morning?" he asked.
I nodded.
"How far?"
"Four miles. I'm almost ready for five, I think."
"And what else?"
"A round of weights after my run, and an hour of yoga before bed. I try to get in an extra hour of cardio on the weekends, too, if I don't have too much homework."
Riku paused, and sighed again. "You're pretty serious, I guess."
I clenched my fists. "Of course I'm serious! Haven't I been saying for weeks that I'm serious? Am I really that much of a joke to everyone?"
Riku smiled thoughtfully, and I felt uncomfortable as his weary eyes assessed me. "Easy, girl. You're kinda cute when you're mad, though."
I lowered my eyes at him. "Stop patronizing me."
My oldest friend chuckled. "Sorry. You just make it so easy. Tell you what. We can start sparring together after school. I'll teach you what I can. Just do me one favor in return."
I felt my heart stumble a few beats forward, astonished to finally hear those words I so wanted to hear. "Anything!" I squealed, squeezing Riku's arm giddily.
The smile perched on his smug face widened. "Let Sora kiss you already."
Immediately, I was thankful that my face was already so flushed from running, because I didn't particularly want Riku to see how hard I was blushing.
"What?" I choked on my words. That nervous, embarrassing feeling in my stomach returned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Riku rolled his eyes. "Please don't make me spell it out. Sora likes you, you like Sora. He says he's been trying to find a way to kiss you for weeks, but you always make it awkward. He's starting to freak out, and so I have to hear him bitch and whine about how you don't like him back. I'm tired of it, honestly, so can you just get it over with already?"
I held my breath for a moment, blushing furiously, while Riku's smug eyes stared me down. Sighing, I nodded awkwardly, and Riku patted my shoulder with a chuckle.
So there were now two major goals at the top of my to-do list: learn to fight, and learn to kiss.
