Loki was starting to get used to life in Stark Tower. More accurately he was as used to living in Stark's home as he was going to get. He went to bed each night though some nights it was closer to sunrise than sunset. Sometimes, despite everything, he actually managed to fall asleep. He would curl up against the pillows and become firmly tucked in the sheets. He would throw a blanket or two on top as if the impossible fluffiness they could provide would halt the nightmares he knew could come. Eventually Loki would close his eyes and sometimes he would drift off to sleep. More often than not he would wake up with a scream on his lips and a dream still playing on his inner eyes. Yet, he seemed to find sleep more often here then he had above his tea shop. More accurately he closed his eyes and found marginally more rest here then he did when trying to sleep above Tea and Potions.
Here Loki had Jarvis, who wasn't really a friend but he certainly wasn't a foe. Jarvis at least, didn't expect things from him. He didn't expect anything or treat Loki as something subhuman. Nor did Jarvis complain about having him around. Jarvis may have been a mere creation by Tony Stark but he was more than just a voice meant to serve. When Loki couldn't sleep they talked, about any and everything. When Loki was having difficulties and couldn't seem to form the words to accurately explain, Jarvis learned and knew what was needed. Here, in Stark Tower, Loki finally felt like he had someone who cared. If he was in a gracious mood he would admit to himself at least that he had more than one person who actually cared about him. Those times were few and far between but they at least happened.
Jarvis learned Loki's habits. He did this for everyone in the tower because it made his job easier. At least that was how he justified the action. His original purpose as programmed by Tony was to take care of everything in the tower. That care included those who were living in the tower. Of course, Tony would always be his top priority, in part due to his programming and in part because he genuinely cared. Yet, Loki very quickly was becoming a person Jarvis cared about instead of simply serving because of code. He could tell Loki needed water for tea to start boiling when the tremors started shaking him almost imperceptibly. Jarvis would lower or raise the blinds before Loki even needed to ask merely based upon the creases lining his forehead. Jarvis took care of Loki as if he had always been a part of the house. If he thought about it, Jarvis figured it was because he could see the patterns; late nights, zoning out, trouble sleeping, the self blame and fear. He had seen these habits before and he liked to think he could make a difference in how Loki was coping.
When Jarvis couldn't quite solve the problem he had to make the decision on whether or not to tell Tony. He didn't always make Tony aware of Loki and his problems. He calculated when it was appropriate to intercede versus letting Loki settle the problem on his own. Most mornings Jarvis let Loki settle down on his own. Though Jarvis would try and help by playing music or adjusting the temperature of the room. Small things that if Loki had been more cognizant at the time he would have noticed. When Loki had a panic attack during the afternoon he was more accepting of Tony and his "inane prattling." However, on the mornings where Jarvis did wake up Tony and send him down to face a Loki in the middle of a panic attack, Loki would spit and grumble and almost always worked himself into a shriek that never seemed to end. If anything, hearing someone other than Jarvis would just make Loki lash out. His nails became talons. He would bite at anything in reach and scratch with indiscretion. The worse case scenario of having Tony made aware of the morning panic attacks as they happened was that the second he entered floor 77 Loki could tumble further into his own mind. He would ask, beg, and sometimes eventually cry for mercy. As if Tony was the one throwing the punches. So most mornings Jarvis watched as Loki found his own way out of the panic. Most mornings Loki would be fine-ish on his own.
Eventually when the attack ended and the panic faded. Loki would ask what happened. After asking his question or questions in as few words as possible he would be silent. He would pace the entire floor. Music would fill every room he entered. Once his heart rate slowed he would threaten to tear Jarvis out of the very walls for daring to think he would want or need Stark to help him. Fewer times he would make the same threats for Jarvis thinking that he needed a computer to help him when he had been doing fine for centuries own his own.
Jarvis didn't mind. Tony sometimes had threatened metaphorical bodily harm too but it never happened.
Almost every morning as the sun rose Loki would leave his bed. Some days he fought his way out of the covers before the sun even had a chance to start its ascension. He shuffled into the kitchen and would made a cup of tea. He would drink from his favorite large mug while reading a carefully chosen book. Once the mug was empty he would walk back to the kitchen and clean it before any ill wanted stains could learn to stay. When it was clean he placed it back in the cupboard. Some mornings, most mornings, were broken up by rapid heart rates, intrusive memories that he tried his best to push away, the uncontrollable need to fight or flee. Yet each time something happened he pushed through it and eventually continued on his way. He got dressed. He left the tower and went to work. He baked in Tea and Potions for hours on end. Every so often he wouldn't return to the tower, instead he would bake well into the night and then the next morning. Now though he had somewhere to go. He would eventually leave his shop and walk in the fresh air on his way back to the tower. Loki was surviving better than he had been.
