LAWLESS


Chapter 10. Lies


Eren gave a sidelong glance at Mikasa before trying to give an explanation.

"We were only…"

"No. Shut up." Levi gave a step back with a subtle grimace of disgust. "I prefer not to know."

Because of Mikasa's extremely red face and the state of his shirt, it didn't seem strange to Eren that Levi could have made up a completely wrong idea about what has been happening in the room. Anyone could imagine that they've been engaging in not-so-innocent activities.

"It's not what it seems." Eren whispered as he buttoned his shirt up. No one seemed to hear him.

"Eren, we'll make a trip to Stohess. We're leaving in fifteen minutes. Get ready. Bring your doctor's bag." Levi said.

That was unexpected.

While still sitting on his bed, Eren felt the weight beside him disappear.

"Wait, what are you doing in Stohess?" Mikasa asked as she stood up. "And why does it seem like I'll be staying here?"

He was wondering the same thing, but since she had gone ahead…

"It's none of your business." Levi blurted out.

"Of course it's my business. I must protect Eren." Mikasa said, pointing at him.

"I'll take care of that. You stay here, it's already decided."

Eren remained quiet as they argued. Mikasa had approached Levi and seemed pissed off.

"Why?" she continued. "Is it because of yesterday? I'm fine."

Yesterday?

"It's already decided." Levi repeated, intransigent, and then said something in such a low voice that Eren couldn't manage to hear it from his position.

"Whatever." Mikasa grumbled before leaving.

At the end of the staircase, Levi was waiting for him with his arms crossed and a sullen face. He made a gesture with his head and Eren followed him towards the door from where the short road to reach the lair started. He wondered if the Ackermans ever went out from that house through the front door, as normal people did.

He collided against Levi as he stopped suddenly, and Eren almost dropped his doctor's bag. The situation didn't give him the time or the urge to mumble an apology because, what was that for?

"You better be careful." Levi muttered.

"What?" Eren got annoyed. "But you're the one that stopped all of a sudden. I'm not clairvoyant."

"Tch." Levi resumed the step. "I'm talking about Mikasa."

Eren rubbed his arm and cursed under his breath. That dude was made of stone.

"To be careful? But she and I were just talking. It wasn't what it seemed to be, seriously. I was showing her a tattoo."

"Idiotic brat. You don't get a damn thing." Levi growled once they entered the lair's lugubrious corridor.

"I'm not a brat." Eren retorted, offended. He wasn't an idiot either, but he was feeling confused. "I don't know what I should realize about…" he admitted, halting.

Levi stopped before Kenny's office and, before turning the doorknob, he pierced Eren with a look.

"Seriously? Are you fucking blind or what?"

Eren opened his mouth and closed it again when he perceived that people were watching him. Of all the faces that were glancing at him, he only recognized Kenny and his science professor from University. He blinked.

"Professor?" He approached her, looking her over, as if to verify that she was not a product of his imagination. He took a quick glance at the rest of those present. This didn't make any sense. "Professor Hange, what… what are you doing here?" He questioned, moving his hands. The Ackermans and Hange Zoe together in the same place didn't make sense.

"I could ask you the same question, Eren." Hange offered him a warm smile as she gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Long time no see, did you get taller?"

"Huh? I have no idea." And who cared? What the fuck was she doing there, in the Ackerman's lair, with Kenny the Ripper?

Eren was surprised to find out that his amazing and loquacious science professor was part of the Legion. The men that were with her were also part of it. The leader of the Legion was there. Curiously, the rebel group was an ally of the Ackermans for reasons in which they had not yet gone into detail. After politely introducing himself, Erwin Smith had told him that the priority was to get to Stohess.

They didn't take the time to explain what was waiting for him in Stohess and, given that Levi told him to bring his doctor's bag, Eren thought he was on his way to take care of someone injured. Since Hange had knowledge in first aid, the fact that he traveled there would only make sense if it was more than one person injured or if someone was seriously injured or ill, which would exceed the level of medical knowledge of his teacher. However, he considered it would be strange for the Legion not to have a proper doctor. That is to say, if they counted among their ranks with the brilliant Hange Zoe, how could they not have a simple doctor?

Given that Kenny was involved, Eren began to suspect that it could be a rather murky affair.

"Last week I met Armin at the University," Hange said with all the naturalness of the world.

Eren was sitting beside her inside the carriage. Levi was seated in front of them and kept himself quiet with his arms crossed over his chest. The other two guys, Moblit and Mike, were driving the carriage, while Erwin galloped on his own horse at some distance in the rear.

"Really?" Eren smiled slightly when he heard the name of his best friend, even though he still felt stunned because of the events, "How's Armin doing?"

"Quite fine, as sweet as always. We talked about his job and a bit about you," Hange sighed, "It's a shame not having been able to meet the Ackerman girl today. I've heard wonders about her."

So she was aware of Mikasa's real identity. Eren wondered if everyone in the Legion knew that the girl he had seemingly run away with from the Reiss' party was an Ackerman, because even Connie and Sasha knew. He hoped that would not put her in danger.

"She had to stay home." Eren pointed out, refraining from mentioning her name in the midst of a sudden protective impulse.

"At home, huh?" amused, Hange glanced openly at Levi Ackerman. "I see you're quite comfortable with these people, Eren."

Levi, instead of returning the look to Hange, turned to Eren.

The young doctor gave him an insolent glance. He wasn't going to forget that he had called him an idiotic brat for no good reason. He was aware that Mikasa's cousin could give him a beating whenever he wanted. Hell, the guy could kill him in a heartbeat for sure, but Eren wasn't going to tolerate that…

Wait.

"Hey, Levi." He said, raising his chin. "What's your problem? What was that all about?"

"Oh, I seem to have missed something." Hange said, interested.

"We're not going to talk about the topic now." Levi discarded, completely ignoring Hange.

"Why not? It's still over an hour to get to Stohess to do I don't know which fucking super urgent and secret mission. No one wants to explain anything about it to me. I have no damn clue about what awaits me in that place," he complained, looking sideways at his professor, "Or maybe you, as a member of the Legion, will deign to tell me what the hell am I going to do in Stohess, exactly?"

Hange shook her head.

"I'm sorry but explaining it right now is not the most, uhm… convenient thing to do." She said with a little smile.

"You see, Levi? The Stohess thing remains a mystery," Eren said with his voice tinged with sarcasm and weariness, "So, since we're here: what better than to take advantage of this instance to clarify about things that give the impression of being much less murky. Because, seriously, I don't want my professor to keep trying to divert my attention with topics that are not relevant in this moment," he groaned, "Aside from the reason of this trip, I'm interested in talking about this other subject. You have enough time to shed light about why, out of the blue, I'm an idiotic and blind brat that doesn't realize anything, and what does all of this have to do with her?"

"I see…" whispered Hange.

"Huh?" Eren raised an eyebrow.

Levi snorted. "No one cares about her opinion, but it seems that even four-eyes has realized it."

"Quite so," she smiled.

"What?" Eren didn't understand anything.

"He's right, Eren. There are certain things which you seem to not realize, especially when they have something to do with girls." Hange explained and Eren looked at her as if she grew a second head. "But I want to make it clear that you're not a brat because of that, and I can testify that you are nobody's fool. It seems that the problem here is that Levi is jealous."

"What!?" Levi uncrossed his arms and widened his eyes.

The teacher adjusted her glasses on the bridge of her nose with a knowing air and a kind of sadistic smile. Eren has never seen her smiling like that.

"As far as I know, Mikasa is a pretty girl," Hange said, "Maybe Levi is jealous for a few reasons, for example-"

"Shut up." Levi interrupted her, threatening. "Don't talk about what you don't know shit about."

"Well. Maybe he's only acting as an overprotective older brother, or something like that." Hange whispered, pretending a sudden disinterest and boredom by the topic of conversation.

Eren turned to look through the window with an absent air, thinking about Hange's words and Levi's reaction.

It wasn't the first time someone brought up that he was not aware of things that involved girls. Armin and Historia had told him similar things in the past, more than once, but he never considered it important. He had other things to worry about, like his studies and his medical practice. He was always busy… and he tried to keep himself busy. Eren didn't have the time or the interest to relate with others beyond friendship or the strictly professional relationship. However, it wasn't as if the idea never crossed his mind. A few times he had found himself longing for an intimate physical contact, he was human after all – he was a man. It was impossible for him to be immune to the biological changes and physiological needs.

But his life had changed in an abrupt manner and he couldn't keep himself busy in the same way as before, or at least he couldn't use the same formula… Now a girl, Mikasa, was included in that formula. Eren had never spent so many hours a day or night with a girl before, besides his own mother. The exchanges with Historia were always reduced to house calls – of his father at the beginning, and then by his own visits as a doctor – or sporadic friendly visits that didn't last longer than four hours, where they occasionally also shared time with Armin. Besides, Historia didn't have the slightest romantic interest in men or someone else that wasn't Ymir, so falling for her meant to be condemned to an unrequited and impossible love. Frankly, he didn't think that was his thing.

You better be careful.

Maybe his teacher was right and Levi was behaving as a jealous and overprotective older brother, otherwise he wouldn't have gotten so annoyed, though he didn't have anything to worry about.

Seriously? Are you fucking blind or what?

If Levi meant that Eren wasn't capable of seeing Mikasa's attractiveness and everything else, then he was very wrong. Now, if he meant something else besides that… maybe Eren was actually fucking blind.

Idiotic brat. You don't get a damn thing.

Fine, he was probably damn blind and also a bit stupid.

'Mikasa is pretty, Levi is jealous and I'm a blind idiot that's not grabbing some important detail,' Eren concluded, dropping his face on the window of the carriage, feeling defeated. Shit. It seemed that Levi was right in everything except for the brat part.

"Eren, we're already here," Hange informed, shaking him carefully.

At some point during the trip he surrendered to sleep. And what a good thing it was that he did, because it may not be possible for him to sleep that night, or even the nights after.

When he entered his professor's house everything seemed in order, even normal in spite of the strange company, until Mike Zacharias sniffed at him as if he was a hound and smiled. Before Eren could even ask what the fuck was that for, Hange took him by the arm and guided him through some wooden steps that lead to an ample basement. The place smelt like different chemicals. It reminded him of the University's laboratory.

Mike and Moblit stayed upstairs. Erwin and Hange asked Levi for help to remove the cover of a clay container so big that… it seemed like a coffin.

Eren had a bad feeling. A chill ran down his spine and he got goosebumps. He didn't know if it was because of what could be inside there or because of what it could mean, or both things.

When he gave a couple of hesitant steps forward and saw what was inside, he understood why no one, not even Kenny, wanted to tell or explain to him anything previously. They made him bring his fucking doctor's bag for this, but it wasn't going to help much in this case.

"What's… the meaning of this?" he asked with his eyes fixed on the corpse. He remembered Kenny's voice making questions about Frieda days ago. "What have you done?"

"We took this corpse from the Royal mausoleum," Erwin explained incredibly chill, without the slightest bit of guilt. "The meaning and repercussions of what we discover today based on these remains are yet to be seen."

Eren looked at Erwin as if he was seeing him for the first time, and in a certain way it was like that.

Who was this guy?

Who gave him the right to do something like this?

"Why?" Eren questioned, approaching Erwin and grabbing him from the lapel of his jacket. He didn't care that he was a bit taller nor that he was in better shape than him. "Who the hell you think you are?"

The Legion's leader remained impassive, but the gaze he directed at Eren softened.

"I know you're upset and I'm very sorry." Erwin said. Eren didn't catch him making a gesture so that the others wouldn't interfere. "We've committed sacrilege, regardless of who this woman is. We didn't do it for pleasure, but in honor of the search for the truth."

"In honor of the search for the truth? What the fuck are you talking about?" Eren muttered, squeezing the cloth and pulling it with more strength. "What does Frieda have to do with this? Why Frieda?"

"Eren, stop asking stupid questions." Levi scolded him. "We don't have time for this. Use your damn head and think."

Eren turned to Levi, who was beside him, and Erwin took advantage of the distraction to release himself carefully and stretch his clothes.

Hange put a chair behind Eren and pushed him down so he could take a seat.

"You…" Eren muttered, running his fingers through his hair. He tried to contain his most visceral side. "What am I supposed to do for you? A fucking autopsy or what? I don't even have all the tools for it at hand. This is Frieda Reiss, right? I knew her. I know when and how she died. My father performed an autopsy on her and wrote the death certificate."

He wondered if Historia already knew about this and, if she did, he imagined how she must be feeling now.

His stomach churned.

The desecration of tombs was a common practice, especially among medical students, but Eren had always refused to take part in them. The mere fact of imagining someone stealing the corpse of his own mother to destroy it by making incisions, learning about anatomy, studying the tissues and bones, made him sick. He knew that in the end they turned everything into crap that they later threw away, without the slightest bit of respect.

His father had taught him about the alternative of practicing by donated bodies, something consented between the doctor and the dying patient or the family of the deceased.

He was used to seeing corpses.

"We need you to confirm that this is actually Frieda's body." Erwin said, and his voice sounded as if it came from far away. "Not only as a doctor, but as someone that…" his voice started trailing off.

He was used to seeing corpses, yes, but he hadn't been prepared for this.

Eren dried the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He didn't know when had he began to sweat, neither when had his hands began trembling.

Something inside of him told him that, if he did what they wanted him to do, he would reach a point of no return. At the far end… he always knew that there was something weird regarding Frieda's death. Very deep inside he had always felt that something wasn't right, and not only with the Reiss family.

He tried to ignore it constantly, actively, in spite of some nightmares that had repeated again and again, as if they wanted to tell or show him something. And there were also those other dreams… those that ended up happening even if it wasn't in an exact way. Those other dreams sometimes turned into nightmares.

Eren shook his head and exhaled. Hange offered him a glass of water and he drank it all in a long, bitter sip.

"Eren." Hange called him with kindness, bending down in front of him and grabbing him by the shoulders. "We have a portrait of the corpse. I think the best thing for now is that you take a look at it… until you feel like you can examine the corpse. We know you don't feel well at all, that you are upset and stunned, but Levi's right: we don't have much time and we need your help."

He slowly took his glance down to the notebook of yellowish pages that his professor put on his lap. Instead of seeing the portrait of a corpse, he saw the drawing of a giant monster with sharp teeth and ram's horns on his head. The giant was crouching in front of a girl who was offering him an apple in the middle of a leafy forest.

Historia had been leafing through the book with a childish smile until a servant informed her that her parent required her presence. Eren had never seen that book in the story tales and illustrations section of the Reiss' library, and he had already checked all those titles with Historia. He couldn't help it and took it, intrigued, but before he could even read the name someone snatched it from his hands.

Frieda made a reproving noise.

"I'll have to scold Historia for leaving this lying over there." She said as she put the book under her arm, as if she was trying to hide it from his sight. "And you, Eren: don't be nosy."

Eren clicked his tongue.

"Too much secrecy for an illustrated children's story." He groaned, feeling his cheeks warm. "I just wanted to take a look at it."

Frieda wore a simple but elegant white dress with lace details on the high collar and sleeves. She wore a silver chain from which hung a sapphire. On other occasions, Eren had seen her wear a simple gold chain with a small disc of the same material with the letter 'F' engraved.

She narrowed her big blue eyes, full of secrets, and tapped him on the head with the book.

"Too bad it's a tale not suitable for children under fourteen." Frieda said with a wry smile.

Eren flopped down on the couch where he had been reading the story of a hero who had to enter a labyrinth to kill a half human, half animal being.

When Historia returned, Eren had heard her happily mention to Frieda that she had finally found the story she had read to her when she was little.

"Well, seeing her like this, she does not look like her at all." Eren muttered, handing Hange the notebook back.

At least his hand didn't tremble anymore.

He stood up and stretched a little before approaching the clay container, doubtful. He scrutinized the black hair, dull and dry. The basins of the empty and shadowed eyes did not hide or reveal anything. There was no trace of her pale, perfect skin. The teeth were no longer hiding behind pink lips.

He took a deep breath.

"It's difficult to see the similarities between this and the memories one has of a person. At a glance, the bones are all the same. It's the flesh, the skin and the volume that make the difference. The colors. The blood running through the veins and capillaries. Life itself." Eren said as he drummed his fingers on the hardened clay and stopped his gaze on the teeth of the corpse. "Everything would be easier if there was still skin on the fingers and at the same time we had a record of Frieda's fingerprints, but as Rod strangely forgot to embalm her, we'll have to try to verify the identity of the corpse by observing what's left: the hair, the teeth, the bones and the stature."

"We already verified that it corresponds to a female corpse." Hange pointed out. "The height is approximately one meter sixty-eight centimeters. In the records we received, Frieda's adult height was one meter seventy-one."

Eren nodded.

"The length and hair color is the same as Frieda's. As for the denture," he said, struggling to visualize a detailed memory in his head, "I obviously don't remember exactly, but her teeth were very white, healthy, and her smile seemed perfect. Those of this corpse are somewhat crooked and in poor condition. Despite her mental disorder, Historia told me that the maids made sure that Frieda maintained an excellent hygiene, but I don't know if I could ensure that it was always like that… especially during her last months."

Hange urged him to continue with a gesture. She had removed her glasses.

One of the last times Eren saw Frieda alive, she barely spoke. In general, she would stare at an invisible point or clutch her head with both hands, as if she was suffering from a huge headache and her skull was about to explode. She rarely stirred and shouted. The few occasions when she spoke, she mainly said things that lacked of sense.

"The teeth!" Eren exclaimed out of a sudden. "I remember that she broke an incisor for doing this," he brought a hand to his mouth and bit it, without exerting pressure, imitating the movement. "She bit her hands. Sometimes she moaned and said 'it doesn't work, it doesn't work.'"

"It doesn't work?" Erwin repeated, wrinkling his forehead.

"What was it that didn't work?" Hange asked, expectant.

"How would I know? I didn't live in her head." Eren replied. "That time… that time she bit herself so hard that, besides breaking her tooth, she cut off the tip of one of her fingers."

Surprised at his own memory, Eren widened his eyes. He examined both corpse's hands. Its phalanges were intact. Not even one tip was missing.

"Shit." Eren whispered. The upper incisors weren't broke either. "This… This is not Frieda."

Hange jumped into place and shook Erwin by the shoulders. She screamed things that Eren couldn't hear clearly. It was as if his ears had been covered. He only felt his own heartbeats bouncing off his eardrums.

"Are you sure you got this body from her grave?" He asked after staying silent for a long time.

"Very sure. She had the plaque with her name engraved inside the mausoleum," said Hange. "Ah! The body carried this in between its fingers."

Eren received a gold chain. A simple and generic gold chain, without a pendant or anything that would point to Frieda as the previous owner of it... At this stage, nothing surprising.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

The knife hissed as it cut through the air and got stuck with a chirr in the center of the target.

"Not bad," Kenny praised her, smiling without dropping the cigarette he held between his lips, "My turn," he announced as he threw a knife that got stuck right next to the one Mikasa had already nailed.

Mikasa grabbed several knives and threw them one after the other with great dexterity and speed. Most of them hit precisely around the target, drawing a circle. She buried the penultimate knife in the middle of the forehead of Kenny's younger version of himself, on the poster glued to the wall, while the last one got very close to the Cuckoo clock. That last knife fell to the ground, for the point of it bounced after it met the stone.

"Oi, oi. If you hit the clock, I'll have to strangle you," her uncle said between his teeth, tangling her hair without delicacy. His hands were rough and his knotty fingers stank of tobacco, "What's your damn problem, girl? This is too dramatic for my taste."

She tilted her head to look him in the face. The old man was very tall.

"You and Levi," Mikasa replied. She snatched Kenny's cigarette and crushed it with the tip of her shoe as soon as it touched the floor. "I hate when you don't include me and don't explain to me what's going on. I thought we had already talked about this and reached an agreement."

Kenny walked to his desk. He extended his hand, grabbed a metal box and opened it with his thumb. After taking out a cigarette, he brought it to his mouth and lit it with a stern expression.

"Today's thing was unexpected and urgent. There was no time to explain shit," he said.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes. She tried to put each strand of hair back in its place as she watched Kenny remove the knife from his famous 'wanted' poster.

"Look what you've done," he reproached her. "This was the last poster I had left! Ugh. Look, you even wrecked the tip of this knife."

"Nah, you still have about thirty posters in the trunk where you used to hide the chocolates," Mikasa refuted. "Who's being dramatic now?"

"Sneaky lil shit, how long have you known about the fucking trunk? And I used to blame Traute..."

"Years ago. Sometimes we stuffed ourselves with chocolate together," she admitted, crossing her arms. Kenny had narrowed his eyes at the revelation of the complot and muttered something about how women shouldn't be trusted when there was sweet and expensive food in between... Huh? Was he serious? With him you never knew. "Anyway. Why did Eren have to go to Stohess?" Mikasa asked, channeling the conversation towards what she was interested in.

Kenny came closer to her and blew a short puff of smoke on her face. Mikasa coughed once, cursed under her breath and tried to snatch his cigarette, but he held her by the wrist and pinched her nose.

"Ha! I'll let you go only if you stop trying to steal my cigarette and destroying my things, you subversive brat." Kenny said. She groaned in response and he released her. "Fine. Eren went to see the corpse of Frieda Reiss," he finally answered with a smirk.

So, the guys from the Legion not only were crazy enough to offer themselves to enter the royal mausoleum and steal the body, but they had also succeeded. Wow.

"It's a speedy trip. Levi was the one who had to go with Eren this time," Kenny pointed out.

"What do you mean by that?" Mikasa asked. "That I'm not adequate enough or what?"

"You weren't fit for it this time." Her uncle let out another puff of smoke, this time away from her face, and looked at her with absolute seriousness. His blue eyes were so dark that in those moments they seemed black. "No matter how well you think you wear that I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything mask, Mikasa, you don't fool me. Much less Levi. Do you understand? Unfortunately, we've known you since you were an annoying midget."

Mikasa looked away. She thought she knew where he was going with that.

"Levi will be able to help Eren to focus on the mission and not on feelings or whatever. He has experience handling emotional cases, ya know," he continued, recovering his usual nonchalant tone. "Anyway. You better comfort Eren when he returns, right?"

Mikasa didn't expect what he said at the end. If even someone like Kenny had noticed it, then she was doomed. Was she so obvious?

She left that place before her uncle could see the blush that stained her cheeks.

"Oi! Oi, it was a joke," Kenny said, chuckling.

She thought that maybe it would be a good idea to lock herself in her room all day, although if she did she could end up thinking about and imagining nothing but silly stuff.

She took a walk through the underground and received greetings and nods from the few people that were there at that time. After breakfast, most of them went to do whatever they had to do. Some performed as bodyguards for the merchants associated with the clan. Others mugged those who transported merchandise exclusive for noblemen and then smuggled the goods. One group applied the settling of scores. A small group, the less flashy ones, worked as spies and exchanged information with policemen like Annie, who worked for Kenny.

Mikasa heard laughter and screams in the mess-hall. When she leaned out she saw who might be Connie Springer and Sasha Braus running and jumping on the tables.

"Let's put that one over there a little further." Sasha suggested, jumping off.

"Okay, but only a bit." Connie said.

Each one stood at one end and pushed in the same direction at the count of three. They moved the table for about twenty centimeters and stopped.

"I'm going first!" Sasha ran and got back on the table from which she had gotten off.

The guys had placed two tables in a separate 'T' shape. They used the length of one to run and take momentum in order to jump and reach the other one. Sasha reached the other side without difficulty and Connie jumped after her, shortly after. They clasped the palms of their hands and continued jumping from table to table, laughing and sometimes emulating chimpanzee-like movements and sounds. They were very agile and fast.

Mikasa let out a small grin. If Levi was a witness of that mess and saw those two running, jumping and walking on the tables where everyone ate, he would be pissed off for sure.

The teens separated the tables even more, in order to increase the difficulty. Connie, who was shorter and had shorter legs, seemed somewhat reluctant. Maybe because of a matter of pride he decided not to say anything about it.

Although Sasha reached the other table after jumping, her heels were left out of the wooden surface. She helped herself with a flutter of her arms to not fall on her back and pushed herself forward.

Mikasa's gaze went to Connie, who took all the momentum he could and jumped. It was then when she quickly entered the mess-hall and caught him in a swift movement before he hit the edge of the table. Connie had his eyes wide open, cradled on her arms.

"You should be more careful." Mikasa reprimanded them, expressionless. Eren wasn't even here in case they got injured.

"It's Mikasa Ackerman!" Sasha screeched from behind.

Mikasa allowed Connie to put his feet on the ground before releasing him.

"You saved my life," he said, moved. He was as short as Levi.

"Don't exaggerate."

She helped them to put all the tables in their place. Each time she pushed one, they watched her in amazement. It seemed strange to her that they were so surprised at her strength, because it wasn't that much considering that she had dedicated herself to train with people bigger than her since she was ten years old. Also, she was still a bit far from reaching Levi and Kenny in terms of power. She didn't know if it was because she still lacked practice and experience or if it was because she was a girl.

Mikasa suggested that they clean the tables and the mess-hall in order to prevent a punishment from Levi, because she had no doubt that he'd check each surface and would be able to find even a measly trace of shoe in the wood.

"Yes, ma'am!" Connie and Sasha had said in unison, holding a hand to their chests.

Sasha had put her fist on the left side and Connie on the right. Soon the boy received a nudge from his partner and immediately changed hands.

Levi had told her that they were insufferable brats, but Mikasa didn't think so, they were just nice and rowdy people. Eren had told her they appeared to be good guys, and he must be right.

She said goodbye to the Legion's guys and started her way towards her room.

Mikasa hoped that the trip to Stohess wouldn't have affected Eren way too much. She was aware that he had met Frieda, so facing the drama surrounding the alleged corpse might be quite hard for him. Finding out, after years, that they had lied to him in the face about something like that must be a shitty thing to go through... That was if Kenny was right, because he had always suspected that Frieda's death was a sham.

Levi and Eren returned shortly after it had darkened. While Levi stayed in the lair updating Kenny about everything, Eren went upstairs and seemed to have no desire to talk, because Mikasa heard him take a few heavy steps in the corridor and then lock himself in his room.

Despite her concern for him, she thought that the best thing to do was to give him space to put his thoughts and emotions in order, if that was possible. But at the same time she needed to know how he felt and give him a hand, so that he would know that he could count on her.

Since the only thing that Eren should want was to be alone, Mikasa tried to get distracted with anything else. She began to sort her desk. Stretched her bed. She folded the clothes and organized them by colors, and did the same with the dresses that hung on the side. She turned all her socks into balls, or almost all of them, because there was one that lacked its pair. She took the dust off the books and straightened them. She did a few push-ups and sit-ups and laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling. She even thought about challenging Levi for a hand-to-hand combat session, even though the last time she had inadvertently given him a horrible knee hit in the crotch and Levi had chosen not to talk to her all day after calling her a damn cheater.

Maybe she should give up and prepare herself to sleep, no matter if it was still early for that.

Mikasa had been in bed for a while when someone knocked on the door. It was Levi for sure. That morning, after not allowing her to go to Stohess, he had told her that they would have a talk when he returned and blah, blah. She wasn't in the mood for Levi to preach to her for having found her in Eren's room, if that was what the talk was going to be about.

"What?" She said, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

"Hi Mikasa, are you busy?" Eren asked from the other side of the door.

Her heart bounced.

"No, come in." She answered, not knowing if she should stay hidden between the sheets or stand up or what.

She chose to at least uncover her face, because she had stupidly covered it at some point.

"Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No." Mikasa said, sitting up.

Eren sat on the edge of the bed next to her and gave her a fleeting half smile. He was paler than usual and his hair was disheveled. His shirt was very wrinkled, the same shirt that he had unbuttoned in the morning to show her what he had tattooed on his left pectoral: a black snake that took a circular shape and bit its own tail. Mikasa hadn't come to learn much about it except for that he got the tattoo after he turned sixteen. Her concentration went down the gutter the very moment Eren had taken her hand and had pressed it against the warm skin of his torso, all thanks to her asking a stupid question about textures shortly before. It wasn't even the first time Mikasa saw or touched a tattoo. She felt as if she had taken advantage of the situation.

"Someone reminded me that Armin's birthday is next week. The third of November," Eren began to say. "I know that Kenny will make you go with me anyway, but would you like to go with me to Shiganshina to celebrate my friend?"

Mikasa blinked. She did not expect a birthday invitation.

"Uhm, yes... I would like to."

"Nice." He said, looking at his hands.

"Eren..." She called him softly. "Are you okay?"

He shrugged.

"It was a strange day." He murmured slowly while dragging the palms of his hands through his thighs until he reached his knees, where he supported them. He leaned forward, keeping his arms straight and firm. "The only certainty I have is that I should pretend that nothing has happened. That I still haven't heard any of the lies of the Reiss family." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "You... did you know about Frieda's corpse?"

"Something like that... Kenny always considered that Frieda's death had been suspicious." Mikasa said. "But I had no idea that the Legion had managed to snatch the body. I didn't know that today they would take you to Stohess for you to see it."

"Yeah, I remember the discussion you had with Levi this morning." Eren smiled faintly. "I guess I'm not the only one who's having things hid from them."

He looked exhausted. He must have been overwhelmed and hurt.

"Sometimes it has to be like that." Mikasa's voice was almost a whisper. She didn't know how to comfort others and she was not even sure what was she saying. "Knowing too much can become a burden."

"That's how it must have been for my father..." Eren said, suddenly somber. "For that matter, knowing too much can be dangerous."

Mikasa felt a lump in her throat thinking about the fate of Grisha Jaeger and the guesses that Eren must have already taken.

Hesitant, she put a hand on Eren's shoulder and squeezed it gently. "I'm so sorry."

He gave a small nod.

"It's okay. At least now I understand the reason why I'm here, with you. My father's decision finally makes sense," Eren said, turning his body towards her. "After everything we experienced together in Trost, the only thing that made sense to me was that my father asked me to trust you."

"Oh..." was all that Mikasa could say. She never thought that the letter that Dr. Jaeger had left for his son said anything about her. Well, in case Eren was referring to that.

"I trust you, Mikasa." Eren affirmed, gazing at her intensely. "You can also trust me, if you feel that way."

She had always considered him a reliable person. Acknowledging that he trusted her was like a compliment to her and she was enormously grateful to have made progress up to this point.

"Hey, this may sound a bit... weird," Eren said, leaning slightly towards her as if he didn't want anyone else to hear what he was going to say. Like it was a secret that belonged only to the two of them. "But I think... I feel that we were destined to know each other and be friends despite everything."

Mikasa couldn't contain herself and, for the first time in a long time, she broadly grinned.

"Yes, me too." She confessed, very delighted.

Eren seemed surprised at her expression and response, but soon returned the smile. They exchanged smiles for a short time before Mikasa got inhibited and looked away.

Eren let out a sigh.

"I don't know if I can sleep after what I found out today." He grumbled while scratching the back of his neck. "Or if I manage to fall asleep, I'm sure I'll have nightmares."

"Why don't you take something to help you sleep?" Mikasa suggested, although he should already know that for being a doctor. "When I... when I have problems I drink passiflora and it relaxes me to the point that I fall asleep. Do you want me to make you some tea?"

"Oh, no. Don't worry." Eren shook his head gently. "Actually I was thinking about asking you for another kind of favor."

"What other kind of favor?"

Eren cleared his throat lightly.

"Can I sleep with you tonight? I'm sure it will help me feel better."

Mikasa's lips parted. Her cheeks colored as she recalled the tour of Eren's absorbed gaze, which went from her head to her breasts, where he fixed his eyes for a while as they had breakfast that morning. When some men scrutinized her shamelessly, Mikasa felt so disgusted that she wanted to prick their eyes and break their necks, but with Eren it had been different. Of course, at first his insistent gaze had made her feel somewhat uncomfortable, but she never felt offended because of it. After a few moments a kind of yearning arose in her and she wondered if he...

Well, she wondered a few stupid things that came back to her after hearing Eren say what he had just said. Mikasa suspected that at any moment she would pass out or something, because she felt as if all the blood in her body had moved to her face.

I'm sure it will help me feel better.

Despite her inexperience with this sort of thing, Mikasa thought she knew what Eren meant by that. The woman who had taught her all about the use of female ruses had been a refined prostitute who obviously knew a lot about men as well.

"No, wait. Shit. I don't mean to sleep in that way." Eren said hastily, holding a hand to his forehead. "Do you remember what I told you while we were still in Trost? That I realized that I sleep better when I know I'm not alone? I was thinking about bringing my mattress to your room and sleeping here, with you... I'm not asking you to sleep in the same bed."

Oh.

Of course.

How could she even think about that kind of thing? Now she was embarrassed to have believed that Eren would even think about her in that kind of way. What a fool. The only thing Eren wanted was to try to have a night free of nightmares, get to sleep and rest after a long and complicated day.

"Mikasa?" Eren called her. "Huh... Does this silence mean no?"

She did everything possible to recover her composure and the dignity that characterized the Ackermans. She avoided contact with Eren's eyes, just in case.

"You can sleep here." She answered in a neutral voice and pushed the covers aside to get out of bed. "I'll help you bring the mattress."

"Are you angry?" Eren asked as he followed her with uncertainty. "If it bothers you, it's not necessary for you to do this favor, seriously."

"No, it's fine."

Together they took Eren's mattress to Mikasa's room and put it on the floor, taking care so that the sheets and covers didn't get too messy. They left a space between the mattress and the bed so she could get off her bed without the risk of stepping on Eren.

After turning off the lamp, Eren asked her again if it really didn't bother her that he was going to spend the night there. Mikasa assured him that there was no problem, however he did not seem very convinced about her response and gave the impression that he wanted to say or ask something else.

"Good night," was the last thing Eren said that night, interrupting a long silence.

"Good night." Mikasa repeated in a whisper, hidden under her sheets.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Light blue peeling walls. Worn handrails and steps. Dust motes dancing against backlight as the sun hid behind the mountains.

Clumsy, slow, dragged steps. Wheelchairs squeaks. Erratic movements. Things falling to the ground.

Murmurs, sudden screams and muffled cries.

Bovine gazes. Nervous looks.

Anyone would hate to work in a place like this, but she remained undaunted. It was a kind of repetitive and incessant nightmare that she already knew how to control, thanks to which she had learned that monsters were nothing else but people who had lost themselves.

Ymir felt an enormous compassion for those human vestiges, all rejected and many of them abandoned by their families.

She checked her patients list. The next was Alina Todenhöfer, from room thirteen. A few days ago they had had to cut her hair because it had gone beyond her earlobes. It was part of the contract her hermetic family had signed. Poor Alina bawled her eyes out as she watched her short black curls spill around her on the floor.

"How dare you do this to me again?" Alina asked once she got tired of sobbing, in the middle of one of her rare moments of lucidity. "I can't stand having my hair so short. I look like a kid."

Ymir glanced at her intently, intrigued.

Alina had straightened her back, stretched her neck and crossed her legs with an elegance worthy of a lady of high birth. The huge and lively eyes returned Ymir a gaze that made her so familiar that it gave her chills. It was a matter of seconds. Soon the indigo eyes dimmed and fell behind the constant veil of madness that consumed her.

The strange familiarity vanished, the elegant posture crumbled and only the usual gaunt woman remained.

After they finished cutting her hair, Ymir had helped Alina to get up and had her sitting by the window, where she could sit for hours in absolute silence and stare at nothing - except for the few days in which she insisted on self-harm with nothing more and nothing less than her own teeth.

Today seemed to be one of those days. Her latest injuries had not even finished healing.

Ymir closed the door of room thirteen behind her.

"It doesn't work." Alina murmured with an empty expression, sitting in her favorite chair. "It doesn't work..."

Ymir sighed and approached the patient. Her hair had been cut so much that her pale scalp was visible. At least they had not shaved her head.

"Yes, Alina. We already know that it doesn't work." She said, tired. She didn't even try to ask her what wasn't working because the woman never answered. "If you are so intent on turning your cute hands into two balls of ground beef, I recommend asking for help at a butcher shop. Or maybe in the kitchen, which is closer. It's a matter of putting your hands on the floor and asking someone to hit them with a mace."

Alina slowly moved her hand wrapped in gauze away from her mouth.

"Good, stop it so I won't have to tie you to the stretcher or roll you in a straitjacket." Ymir encouraged her, tapping her on the back. Alina tilted her head slightly in her direction.

Despite not making eye contact, Alina Todenhöfer seemed to have paid attention and understood everything she had said to her.


A/N: there were moments where I suffered while writing this chapter because the words didn't came "out" the way I wanted them to, so you have no idea how glad I am for finally getting it finished. I feel sort of satisfied with the result. This is the longer chapter I've written until now for this fic and it equals to a two at the price of one offer (?).

Oh, and I notify you that in two weeks I'm going on a trip for a few months (yeah, again, lol), so I won't be able to update any time soon…

Special thanks to Heidi (erensjaegerbombs) for helping me out with the English version and for making me laugh at her keyboards smashes and nsfw mind. Also special thanks to Dani for giving me a precious artwork of kidnapped Eren (chapter 2) skjsdfkjnesnrjgdfsd for my birthday back in February. It's very BEAUTIFUL, AS EXPECTED OF EREN, ADORABLE and you can see it in her lolakasa Tumblr – check her tag mydraws – or in mine, kuchenackerman – the tag I use for all the fanarts and edits for the fic is lawless art.

THANK YOU SO MUCH to Joseph10101, ivyous, Inevi, the four Guests (pls try to write a nickname or something next time to identify each one of you next time :c), Rogue, ajanji14, Ackerpell, JjdoggieS, anshi19, Jungianca6 and Shofishof26 for their reviews in chapter 9~

If you liked any part in particular, you have constructive criticism to give or you simply feel like giving your general impressions about the chapter and show your support, remember you can do it by writing a review in the text box down here. I spend hundreds of hours of my life writing this – I spent at least 50 only writing this chapter xD – and it will just take you like two minutes or less to leave a message that will contribute to my motivation ;)