AN: Trying to have updates out every 2-3 weeks depending on my schedule. Also, thank you for sticking by this story even though I ghosted for a long ass time. You all are really wonderful and I'll try to live up to this story's expectations. xx
Side note: R, Tableau, and Sequel are all financial/statistical coding software programs/languages (I mention them in this chapter)
EL James own all.
Never Know Pain – Chapter 8
CPOV
Thank the good lord for Katherine Kavanagh, the meddling little thing. Reminds me of something Mia would do, which endears me to her just a bit more, but not enough to overlook her terrible questions.
With Kavanagh's blessing, my plan has been put into motion. Now here's hoping that Anastasia isn't scared off by the prospect of working for me. It's impossible to tell what she's thinking in her emails.
Contempt.
Irritation.
Annoyance.
With you.
Ok well I know she's thinking those things, but I'm hoping there's more to it than that.
Keep dreaming you idiot. Serves you right for even considering going after an innocent angel like her. Did you think she'd see all the good in you through one fucking kind gesture? You'd have to do a hell of a lot more than that to get the attention of someone as pure as she is.
Well, here's hoping that she's not too pure or she's going to run for the hills no matter what.
I sigh as I step out of the shower and check my phone once more to see if she's responded. She hasn't.
When I sent her that email, I thought it would be a neat thing to share with her. Exciting even, to let her know that she got an interview for a prestigious position at GEH before she's even graduated college. I have accountants with 20 years of experience who aren't getting an interview, but she is. I thought she'd be happy. But she hasn't responded. Either she's distancing herself because she doesn't want to appear unprofessional or she's pissed that she might be working for me. Either way, I'm fucked.
I resign myself to my home office and try to get some work done, instead of thinking about Anastasia. I eventually get into a groove and feel more myself again, ordering others around and sending off contracts and memos. This is where I'm most comfortable, doing the job I was born to do. Master of my universe.
A few hours into my work, my computer rings, "ROSLYN BAILEY" flashing on the screen. I answer the FaceTime invitation and all I see is red hair filling the screen.
"You do know where the camera is, right Ros?" I say to her, waiting for her smartass response.
"Hold your fucking horses Grey, there's fucking grape jelly everywhere. How the fuck did he get into the jelly? Who the fuck is this kid? God damn Houdini?" she rasps in her throaty voice.
"Milo put jelly on your computer?" I ask, laughing at her son's antics. She and her wife, Gwen, had a son last year and the kid is hilarious, mainly just because he's really good at getting into things he shouldn't, like grape jelly.
"Yea he did. Someone was supposed to be watching him but I guess nannies aren't what they fucking used to be…" she grumbles as she re-adjusts her monitor and sits in front of the camera with Milo on her lap.
"I thought you fired your nanny yesterday?" I ask her.
Her whole face freezes, then she smacks her palm against her forehead, "Aw shit you're right. I seriously need more sleep. Can't even remember when I fire someone now. Whatever, Gwen gets back tomorrow so it'll be better then. She's like super-mom, she was made for this shit. I mean, I love Milo and everything but I'm just learning as I go. It's like Gwen was born with some 'mom gene' that must have skipped my generation."
"So what did you want to discuss?" I ask as I lean back in my chair and catch sight of my briefcase, the one with Anastasia Steele's jacket inside.
"Anastasia Steele." Ros says.
"What?! What are you talking about?" I ask her, trying to figure out how she knows that I'm thinking about her. She's not a fucking mind reader. I've got to shut this down. No one can know what's going on in my head when it comes to Anastasia Steele. How does Ros even know about her?
"The exec. accounting candidate?" Ros says questioningly, giving me a look that says she thinks I might finally have gone crazy.
Oh right, Anastasia has her interview this coming Tuesday. That's how Ros knows about her. She was included in that email the recruiter sent. I'm a fucking moron.
Can we just rewind a little and go back to how fucking scared you got when Ros said her name? Like this girl is some little secret of yours? What the fuck?! Why would she be a secret? Unless she makes you nervous? Getting nervous Grey? Fucking pansy.
I quiet my thoughts and try to focus on what Ros is going on about.
"I mean, at first I was going to call you all 'hell no are we having a fucking recent grad in that position! This is not a child's job – I don't care how smart you are, you need the experience!' But then I read some of that thesis the recruiter attached and holy shit, Grey, this girl is fucking brilliant. I asked the recruiter if she had Steele's senior thesis available and she sent me what she had. It's even better than the first one. Her metrics could literally change how we run our numbers. She's getting her degree in business admin but she sounds more like a coder with all the shit she's running off of Tableau, R, and Sequel. It's mind-blowing. I can't wait until she gets her hands on our data." Ros practically squeals.
Ros and I met in college. She was a couple years older than I was but we were always at the library at the same time and just ended up becoming friends in the process. She graduated a semester early, the same time that I dropped out, and used every last cent of her trust fund to help me start GEH. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for this crazy woman and her insane confidence in me and my abilities. She has a business degree, but her emphasis is in finance and analytics, so this coding stuff has really got her excited.
God damn, Anastasia just keeps getting more and more unreal. She's flawless.
"You know you have to interview her first before you just give her the job, right? She has to have other skills besides being a huge nerd." I joke.
Or I could just email her with her new employment contract right now…
"Ha ha, just because you're not smart enough to understand all the technical stuff doesn't mean that it's not important, you big idiot." She throws at me.
Everything she does is important to me.
Wait. What? No. She's just a woman.
A really fucking perfect woman.
"Yea yeah, I know. So, you just called me to rave about this candidate?" I ask her, desperately trying to steer the conversation away from Anastasia before Ros realizes that I'm much more interested in her than I'm letting on.
"Well, I was looking her up in our system, to see if she'd ever applied before, because then I could see how she interviewed, but all that came up was her name in the memo line of an appointment last week with you. How do you know her?"
And the hits just keep coming.
"She interviewed me for WSUV's student newspaper. I'm handing out degrees this year at graduation," I respond, trying not to show how much she affected me in those 10 minutes. I'm hoping my voice sounds cold and disinterested, because my pulse is racing just thinking about her.
"She's a journalist too? Does this girl have any non-academic hobbies? What the fuck," Ros remarks.
Her only hobby should be getting fucked by me.
"How the fuck should I know Ros? She asked me a couple questions about GEH, that's it. We didn't chat about our favorite ice cream flavor for Christ's sake," I snap.
I bet hers is vanilla.
"Okay okay, I see your point," she says to me, waving her hand at me as if to say she gives up.
"Look, Ros, I've got a ton of shit to do so if that's all, I've gotta go," I sigh and rub my face, trying to get away from this topic before all hell breaks loose.
"Ok yea, well don't work too hard. It is Saturday after all. It's a leather pants day right?" Ros quips at me, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
Ros is one of the very few people in my life who knows about my involvement with BDSM. She happened upon the playroom one night when she crashed at my place after we had been out to celebrate the closing of a nightmarish acquisition; she was drunkenly looking for the bathroom, and instead stumbled into the unlocked playroom. She sobered up pretty quickly. Since then, we've discussed it a number of times and she doesn't see it as an issue, but agrees that it's for the best if the public were kept in the dark about this particular quality of mine. She's even asked for advice a few times when her and Gwen wanted to spice things up. She does, however, constantly amuse herself with the idea that I wear leather pants in the playroom, even though I've told her numerous times that I don't.
"It would be, but I don't have anyone to wear the pants for at the moment," I say.
Anastasia would look good in leather pants… Or in nothing at all.
"What?! Still?! Come on Grey, even I think you're hot. You could walk up to any woman, or honestly, just about any man too, and ask to fuck them and they'd say yes. They'd be so excited, they wouldn't even notice the playroom," she jokes. "Don't you have, like, an agency or something that could just send you one that will work for your preferences? There's tons of shit out there like that. There's gotta be an app for that by now, like a secret Tinder for kink."
I sigh and resign myself to having a therapy session with Dr. Ros. When she gets like this, there's just no stopping her. She's actually helped me quite a bit, Flynn doesn't even mind that she's stealing some of his billable hours, he's just happy I have a friend.
"I've looked, but nothing really jumps out at me. They're all just… missing something. But I'm not sure what that something is. I think I want more of challenge," I sigh.
Ros nods and looks off camera for a moment, lost in thought. She's about to say something when her face screws up and she looks at Milo in her lap like he's just dropped a bomb. Maybe he did, so to speak.
"Sorry Christian, I've gotta change this little adorable monster. Talk to you soon. And read Steele's senior thesis! I just emailed you the rough draft the recruiter sent me. You're gonna love it. I promise," she smirks as she signs off.
I close my laptop and lean back in my chair, resting my feet on my desk and closing my eyes. Ros does have a point. I could have my pick of more than perfect subs, so what's stopping me? Do I really want a challenge? What kind of challenge do I even want?
Anastasia Steele would be the challenge of a lifetime. She'd run you through the gauntlet and you'd probably just come back, asking for more.
~~ Day of the Interview ~~
CPOV
I walk into Grey House early today with a fucking spring in my step. I'm smiling like a goofy idiot with a secret and I don't care. Today, my plan gets put into action because today is Anastasia Steele's interview.
She did end up emailing me back last week thanking me for the opportunity. No snarky remarks. No kind words. Just short and to the point. Professional. Which is what I should want, but not with her.
At first, I thought I'd just ignore my attraction to her all together, but that resolve lasted until Monday when I opened my briefcase and found her jacket still folded inside. Her scent hit me like a ton of delicious bricks and I just knew I wouldn't be able to ignore her if I couldn't even ignore the remains of her scent on her jacket.
So, I went with plan B – seduce the fuck out of Anastasia Steele until she's begging to be my submissive. And that's just what I plan to do.
APOV
I walk into the lobby of GEH and am once again met by the army of blonde receptionists on the far-right wall. I walk over to them and give one of them my name, stating that I'm due for an interview with a Mr. Marlow of the finance department and she hmmmms at me while typing disinterestedly on her state of the art computer.
"Are you sure sweetie?" She says in a condescending voice. I pull up the GEH scheduling message I got last week confirming the interview on my phone and hand it to her as evidence. She takes my phone like it's drenched in sewer water and looks at the screen, narrowing her eyes.
"Oh well this is from last week and things move pretty fast around here. Maybe they found someone more well suited for the position and revoked your interview." She says as she hands me back my phone, her voice dripping with fake sincerity.
Oh, I do not have time for this bitch right now. Seriously, who pissed in her cheerios this morning? Someone needs to drop kick her prissy attitude right where it hurts…
THE INTERVIEW YOU MORON!
Oh yea, the interview. I take a deep breath and refocus on why I'm here. To get this fancy ass job so I can support myself while I scour the miniscule pond that is the Seattle publishing world for my dream job.
"Look, I know I have an interview here today, trust me. I would have been notified if it was revoked. Could you just do me a solid and search my name in your system? Maybe they changed who I'm interviewing with? It's for an executive position so I'll be sure to mention how helpful you were to the big guns upstairs." I bribe her.
She narrows her eyes at me and I have to remind myself not to hold my breath, but she finally starts clicking on her keyboard again and then looks up, "Full name?" she asks in a slightly nicer tone.
"Anastasia Steele. S-T-E-E-L-E" I spell out for her, not giving her a single sliver of a chance of "messing up" and not getting me to my interview.
"Oh shit" she mutters under her breath and now I'm worried that something did actually happen with the interview and I won't be getting this job after all. My stomach drops with the realization.
With the realization that you lost out on this job? Or with losing out on seeing Mr. Hotty McHot Pants again?
I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a little of both. But mostly the job, I think.
The receptionist looks up at me with an apologetic look on her face, "I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting Ms. Steele. Your interview has changed, in fact. You'll be interviewing with Mr. Grey at 9:45 instead of Mr. Marlow. Again, I do apologize for the mix up, it's been a rough morning," she says sheepishly. I decide to let her bitchy attitude go, everyone has shit days.
But then her words hit me and I realize that I'm interviewing with Grey?! Why?
I check my watch and see that it's 9:30 so I better get going. Always best to be early for the interview. I take my ID badge from the now very helpful assistant and start walking towards the elevators but quickly turn around and ask for her name. She looks caught off guard by my question but quickly regains herself and tells me. Teresa Jordan. I tell her I'll be sure to mention to someone how helpful she was being since she changed her bitch tune and everything. She smiles thankfully at me and points me to the back-left elevators which will take me up to the 42nd floor for my interview. I thank her and head off towards the elevator bank with a million questions flying through my head.
Why did the interview get switched?
Was Marlow not impressed with my work and doesn't want me on his team?
Why is Grey interviewing me?
Why do I like the sound of his name so fucking much?
What the hell is this feeling in my stomach right now? It feels like there's some cloud of fizzy static going wild in my belly. What the hell?!
I pull out my phone once I step inside the elevator and text Kate. She'll know what this feeling is.
Kate: Butterflies. I FUCKING TOLD YOU! YOU LIKE HIM! YOU LIKE HIM!
I quickly turn off my phone and shove it in my bag, not wanting to listen to Kate and her ridiculousness. I know she means well but I also know that there's no way I could have a relationship with this guy. It just isn't in my cards.
As the elevator rises, more and more people get off on their floors, until there's just me and a tall blonde guy in jeans and muddy boots. He looks over at me and smiles, "You new here?" he asks, flashing me a perfect, all-American-boy smile.
"No, but hopefully I will be soon. I've got an interview in a few minutes," I tell him, returning the smile as best I can. "Do you work here?" I ask him as I glance at his boots again. They're well-worn and covered with layers and layers of mud and grit.
"Naw," he chuckles, "I'm just the comedic relief when everyone here needs to take a break from having a stick up their ass," he jokes as the elevator pings and we step off onto the floor. He tells me good luck as he walks down a corridor on the right side and I give him a friendly wave as he retreats. I hope I see him again. He seemed nice and kind and transparent. Not like the mercurial pompous suits that work here.
But you still want to become a pompous suit for a while to pay the bills so chin up! Act the part!
I put on my best confidence face and stride to the reception area that is home to two blondes. Imagine that, more blondes. I'm so shocked. I recognize one as the assistant I saw the other week, Olivia, but the other one is new to me. New Blonde looks up at me and gives me a professional smile, "Hello Ms. What can I help you with?" she asks.
"I was supposed to be meeting Mr. Marlow but I was told downstairs that my meeting is now with Mr. Grey. My name is Anastasia Steele," I tell her in my most professional tone.
She nods and taps at her keyboard, her eyes skimming the monitor with precision. "Ah yes, Ms. Steele, you're all set up for your interview with Mr. Grey at 9:45. Please take a seat and I will call you up shortly. Would you like something to drink? Water? Tea?" She asks kindly. I decline and go to sit down on the pristine white couches on the opposite wall and look through my portfolio that I brought with me. The butterflies have seemed to calm down now which is nice so I have one less thing to worry about.
I think back to the other week when I was so conflicted about this interview. I felt like the rug got swept out from under me and I was left spinning in circles. I mean, is it really a coincidence that I got this interview? For a job that, on paper, is way out of my employment league? I know I'm right for this job, I know I can do the work, but I also know that it's almost unheard of for a new college grad to get a job this high profile at a Fortune 500 company. But I'm not most people. I'm really good at what I do. While everyone else was off having fun and chasing all of life's pleasures, I was studying and learning and creating and growing academically so that I might be able to find pleasure in a different way. I took extra classes, met with all my professors, took summer seminars, did online coding projects, all to ensure that I would have a leg up when I graduated. Hopefully it pays off.
"Ms. Steele? He's ready to see you now, just walk in. No need to knock." The friendly blonde smiles at me and gestures to the double doors on her left.
It's now or never Steele. Go show him that you're professional and perfect for this job – no snark or sarcasm, just professionalism.
I take a deep breath and get up, walk to the doors and open them.
CPOV
I tell Andrea I'm ready and a few moments later, I hear the door opening. I'm purposefully turned away from her, so that my initial expression doesn't give me away if I'm once again caught off guard by her beauty. I take a moment to collect myself before I turn away from the windows on the back wall of my office and turn towards the delectable creature standing in front of me.
"Miss Steele, it's a pleasure to see you again," I say as I reach out my hand to shake hers. She grasps my hand tightly, a solid and professional handshake, but immediately I feel a shock and drop my hand too soon. Her face looks a bit shocked for a split second before her mask is back up and she's in full interview mode again.
What was that? I've never felt anything like that before.
I quickly shake the thought and gesture for her to sit down in one of the chairs in front of my desk. Instead of going back to my desk, I sit in the other chair and face her. I can tell she's confused by my seat choice but doesn't question me on it.
"How have you been Miss Steele?" I ask her to break the ice. I wanted to have an informal conversation before the interview began. That's one of the reasons why I changed her interview from Fred Marlow to just me. I wanted to talk to her before she got tired of interviews and started acting robotic. I want the authentic Anastasia I met during that interview. The one I haven't been able to forget about since.
"I've been well Mr. Grey, thank you for asking. I hope you've been well since we last spoke," she says. I try to engage her in other small talk but she doesn't take the bait. I don't like this. Where is the sassy woman I spoke with via email just a few days ago? It's as if accepting this interview changed her, and now she wants nothing to do with me in a personal capacity.
Well, she would be a fantastic asset to the GEH team, regardless of you wanting to fuck her or not.
I give a resigned sigh and decide to put the seduction plan on hold until I finish the interview and decide if she's even going to work here. Then I can figure out the rest. I just feel so lost. I don't know how to do any of this. I'm not sure what the protocol is for this type of thing.
Because you don't date, you fucking idiot.
You fuck.
I agree with my thoughts and get up, moving to the seat behind my desk and put on my most professional mask. I should never have tried to do anything other than my job when it came to this woman. It's clear that she's not interested in me. She's being completely cold. Her guard is up. I can't read her.
Well, two can play at that game.
Next chapter will be up soon (1 week)
xx
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