The previous evening had been largely uneventful for the residents of Sanditon. George and Charlotte had enjoyed a pleasant meal, the talents of mediocre musicians and songbirds and, between them, had lost four of the five card games they had joined later in the evening. It was fortunate for them that neither were inclined to betting vast sums of money for they would have lost a fortune that evening to their lack of skill at the card tables.
While Charlotte and George were enjoying an evening of entertainment and gaiety, Eliza had instructed a pot of the herbal tea be brewed for her husband. It proved quite effective at relieving the worst of his pain and their evening was spend more quietly, playing games and reading with their son after he had been returned home by his uncle.
The next day, when it came, also proved itself quiet for the most part. Charlotte and George favoured the shooting that would occur that morning over the tug-of-war to be battled out amongst the men in the afternoon. With their plans for the day set, they rose early to dress and enjoyed a hearty breakfast. Charlotte, at the suggestion of Lady Granville, took ginger tea with her meal and found herself much more able to stomach the breakfast wares they had been presented with.
There was something about the ginger tea that roused memories of her mother, though she could not quite reconcile the connection between the two. She knew her mother did not make a habit of drinking a ginger infusion as she typically found the bitterness quite unpleasant. Though, she had always seemed to have a pot of it to hand when her parents were expecting the arrival of each of her... Oh. Oh!
Her mother had only ever taken ginger tea when she was expecting. Charlotte remembered asking her mother once why she drank tea she disliked and had been told that being high in the belly unsettled her mother's appetites and the ginger tea, unpleasant as she found it, was the only thing that settled her well enough to eat.
But though Charlotte remembered her mother's later pregnancies quite well, she had not experienced the same unbearable sickness. Though some smells made her feel a little nauseous, she had yet to cast her crumpets. Charlotte knew, if she were indeed increasing, that the babe could not be more than 8 weeks grown for her last menses had come just days after her wedding, a fact that a quick counting of the weeks confirmed. She remembered how often her mother had felt unable to remove herself from her bed in those early weeks. Indeed, Anne had confided that their mother had claimed the sickness to be the first indication of her condition and that it had been a difficulty her sister had experienced herself when expecting her own children.
Charlotte shook herself out of her thoughts. Dwelling on the possibility would only serve to frazzle her nerves. No. She would find a time to visit Doctor Fuchs and have him confirm her suspicions. But this morning she would enjoy some sporting competition and test her skills with a shotgun against her husband's.
So it was that the Viscount and Viscountess arrived at Sanditon House for the shooting in short time. Lady Denham has generously offered up her late husbands' firearm collections for their perusal and use and the couple each selected a pair of satisfactorily serviceable shotguns for the game shooting.
It transpired that Charlotte proved herself a very skilled shot with that particular weapon and easily down a half dozen more birds than her husband. This was much to his discontent and George spent what was left of the morning grumbling bitterly about his loss, providing very great entertainment to all those who heard him and most particularly to the amusement of Lady Susan.
Having previously witnessed Charlotte joining her husband on his shooting excursions on the occasions that her friend had stayed with her family at their principal seat, Lady Susan could admit no surprise at the girl's skill. In truth she found nothing very shocking at all in the revelation that her young friend could beat most gentlemen in that pursuit. The same, however, could be said of the behaviour she observed from Miss Lambe throughout that day and on previous days spent in the wild girl's company.
It was one thing to be outspoken and opinionated and to engage in sport that was not usually permitted to women. Such was a trait she found very admirable in her friends and it spoke of a strength of character that many of the young ladies she had met in recent years lacked. And Georgiana Lambe was most definitely a girl of strong character.
Her greatest shortcoming lay in her apparent inability to temper her words and observe even the most basic proprieties. Why, she had quite brazenly introduced herself to several unknown individuals, amongst whom could be counted some who looked very severely upon such breaches in manners and others who would surely smell and opportunity to be found in so forward a girl whose wealth and fortune were plain to see.
It surprised Lady Susan that Miss Lambe seemed so ignorant of the risks she took and the danger she courted in acting in such a way. Even more shocking was the observation that the little hoyden knew exactly the spectacle she made and seemed simpler not to care! Something would have to be done about it. Lady Susan was resolved to discuss with her dear friends what might be managed in moderating the child's recklessness and defiance.
That morning was passed with good spirits and excitement while the younger people participated in the shooting and the elder watched from the comforts of a shaded lawn. The Ladies could be found in deep conversation, debating how they might manage to corral Miss Lambe into more ladylike behaviour.
Charlotte and George returned to the terrace for lunch and a quiet afternoon, choosing to forego the rest of the activities that had been planned in favour of each other's company and taking the time to see to their personal correspondence. Their lunch was a light affair as had been usual for them in the heat of the summer and they retreated to the drawing room after they ate. Charlotte had a good deal fewer letters to write, needing only to respond to correspondence from her parents, brother and sister, and some matters that Mr Martin needed her input on regarding Walcot Hall's management. This resulted in Charlotte having completed her business a good while before her husband.
George asked Charlotte to post what letters he had finished, when she told him that she intended to venture out for a walk and post her own on her way out of town. Granted, that bit about the walk was a lie. Though she did plan to stop at the posting inn and gladly took both their correspondence with her, she did not truly intend to walk further than was necessary to find her way to Doctor Fuchs' home.
It was close to an hour later that Charlotte could be seen making her way back home from her visit to the good doctor, having called to hand her post to the post-master who would pass it to the coach when it came through the town. Doctor Fuchs' assessment had confirmed the suspicions that had arisen that morning and Charlotte leisurely strolled through the streets back to their temporary home as she debated whether to share her news with George immediately or wait a little until the riskiest period had passed. Though the physician had declared that may yet be some weeks away and that there would be greater risk of miscarriage until the quickening could be felt.
It was as she made her way through the streets of Sanditon that Sidney came across her and, realising she was alone, grasped the opportunity to speak to her privately. There were no acquaintances to prevent him from achieving his purpose this time.
Sidney had been walking to collect a copy of an essays on the follies of maritime imports and exports and travel more generally that he had ordered and the note confirming its arrival had been dispatched from the bookseller in town. He had used the errand as an excuse to momentarily escape his wife's unreasonable fussing and attention and thus ventured out to collect the parcel, ignoring the jostling pain of the movement that came with walking.
It was on his exiting the establishment that he spied Lady Morpeth leaving Doctor Fuchs' residence and making her way through the streets back toward the seafront terraces. Sidney picked up his pace, intent on catching her, and was within her hearing in a few moments should he call out to her. He promptly did exactly that.
Charlotte paused at hearing her name being called out from somewhere behind in the direction she had come from. She turned around and saw that Sidney Parker was making his way along the street towards her. Charlotte considered for a very brief moment turning around and continuing on her way without stopped to speak to him. His poor moods of late were all too likely to ruin her good mood.
But that would have been rude. Instead, she waited and resigned herself to what was certain to be yet another tense interaction with the man, if her latest encounters with him were anything to judge by.
Charlotte forced a small smile as Sidney came to a stop in front of her. "Mr Parker," she said, "you must be feeling better if you are walking around. I'm surprised. In my experience, people with damaged ribs are usually confined to their beds a good bit longer."
"Ah, yes, Lady Morpeth. My wife had been keeping me supplied with a blend of tea that seems to reduce the pain."
Charlotte's smile became more genuine then. "I am pleased to hear it. I had hoped it would help."
Sidney was surprised to hear her words. Eliza had not told him where the tea came from but he could only assume, given her prior knowledge of it, that it had come from her. He thanked her for it and agreed that it was much preferred to laudanum and almost as effective.
They were silent for a moment, Charlotte pondering how she might go about making her excuses to return home, knowing that their conversation may soon take an unfortunate turn as it was reminiscent of their early interactions. Sidney, on the other hand, was gathering his thoughts to tell her of his feelings. He spoke before she could.
"Charlotte… you cannot be ignorant of the feeling between us. You must allow me my confession and believe me when I tell you my feelings are now as they have ever been. I have never stopped loving you and losing you… the way I lost you… it is my greatest regret." He said as he took a step closer to her, reluctant to share the intimacy of his confession with any passers by who may overhear it.
Charlotte, however, stepped back as he reached out to take her hand. How could he do this? Why here…now? She did not want to hear it. "I cannot claim to be ignorant to what I do not feel, Sir. You say you love me but I cannot say your regard is returned in kind. Perhaps it was once but it is not now. And even if it were, nothing could come of it. You know that." She responded.
"Surely you cannot tell me you have forgotten what we shared?" He cried in disbelief but maintained enough presence of mind to pitch his voice lowly.
"I have not forgotten, Mr Parker. But I have made my peace with its loss. I have had to accept and move past the pain your choices caused us both. I spent weeks and months hoping that, somehow, we would be reunited! I could not deny for very long that you were lost to me though." She denied. "And now, when I have finally put our past behind me, allowed my heart to open itself up again, when I am happy with who I am and the life I have with the family I have found, you dare to tell me that you still love me?"
Sidney reached out to her again as she spoke and succeeded this time in grasping her arm only to have it pulled from his grip as she continued speaking. "You have no right to say such things to me and I do not want to hear them! I suggest, Mr Parker, that you go home to your own wife and make peace with her. She clearly loves you and there must have been something you liked about her. Were there not, I cannot imagine that even your brother's troubles could convince you to marry a woman you truly did not like! Try to recapture that, Sidney, you will be happier if you do."
She let out a sigh with the last of her words and reached out to take his hand in hers, feeling her heart break for his unhappiness those past years. "I do not know what might have been, only what has been and what our lives are now because of the choices we make. I have found happiness with Lord Morpeth and I only wish you could find the strength within yourself to want the same. We cannot change the past but we can make the most of what we have today and I hope we will be able to part as friends this time."
Sidney had been shocked into silence at her outburst and the emotions that made themselves known in her expression as they shifted from distress to sadness to anger and then to understanding. Surely she could not have moved on so completely when he had spent that same time mired in his own regrets and misery? Did she truly feel nothing for him?
When he voiced this to her she only sighed and shook her head and told him that of course she hadn't, that there would always be a place in her heart for him, but that she had had to find new strength to move past that. Everything had changed when he returned that day and told her he was to marry someone else and they would never again have what had been lost to them with those words.
She gave his hand an empathetic squeeze and a sad, understanding smile before she took her leave and continued home.
