- Chapter Nine -

Weight of Power

The journey back to Haven had not been kind. Every step her horse had taken jarred her battered bones. Solas's magic could only do so much. When she finally slid from her horse and handed the reins to Dennet, her relief was immeasurable. Tossing a wave to the Iron Bull and Krem, she trudged down the familiar path to Minaeve's. Once inside, she collapsed into bed, too tired to undress or clean up from the long ride.

Several hours later, she roused, splashed cold water on her face, smoothed back her matted hair, and made her way to the chantry. When she entered the war room, she fought back a wave of dread. This time, Neirah was present as the council pressed Brianna with questions.

"You say you're not a mage, but that doesn't explain what happened at Therinfal." Cullen's hand rested on the hilt of his sword as he regarded her. "Did you know you had this… power?"

"I had no idea! I promise, it was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else. I don't know what else to tell you."

"Call me the queen of Antiva." Neirah snorted. "Your timing is perfect."

"I just grabbed your hand and it happened," Brianna countered. "That's it." She met Leliana's gaze and shook her head. "I haven't tried doing anything on my own. Solas and I discussed this."

Josephine lifted her head. "Does he have any idea where this ability may have come from?"

"From coming here, I guess? Like I said, I don't belong here. Who knows what wonky shit it's doing to me."

Neirah flexed her gloved hand and looked away. "Sure. Thanks for all the answers."

Leliana stepped back from the table. "We will take some time to consider this information. Thank you for your assistance with this matter."

Brianna recognized a dismissal. Jaw tightening, she turned on her heel and stalked from the room. Their concern was legitimate. Hell, she had concerns. Not only did she possess an ungodly amount of information about the Inquisition's timeline, but she had also recently acquired the ability to spontaneously trigger shock waves. "Fantastic," she spat. "Now what?" Through the war room door, she overheard Cullen say something about her not having been ready. She scowled darkly.

The double doors of the chantry swung wide, cold wind whisking inside. The hairs on Brianna's arms stood on end. An imperious figure stood framed in the doorway, the sunset blood red behind her.

A tingle of electricity danced over her skin.

Vivienne.

Brianna froze as several Chantry sisters made themselves scarce.

Vivienne stormed into the room, static crackling behind her in tiny arcs of lightning. With a lift of her hand, an icy grip latched onto Brianna's throat, cutting her off and lifting her to her toes. Eyes wide, Brianna grappled at her neck, rasping as Vivienne strode towards her.

"I suspected you would be trouble the moment I laid eyes on you." The calm in her voice belied the wrath in her eyes. "You have taken innocent lives with your foundering attempts at heroism, directly contradicting your previous claims. All that the Herald is, you could never dream to be. The mistake you have made cannot be undone."

Brianna choked, her gaze darting to the war room door. Vivienne tightened the phantom grip around her neck with a twisted smile.

"Pity. Help is so extraordinarily close by. And yet…"

Primal fear like Brianna had never known curled around her heart, squeezing more tightly than the icy fingers at her throat.

"So small and helpless. You're not even a mage. One foolish mistake, and a life is over. Just like that."

Brianna gasped as ice wrapped around her fingers, sliding up her arms.

"How does it feel?" she asked, her mouth close to Brianna's ear. "The lingering caress of darkness. An infinite cold permeating your entire being, encasing your heart in ice. They say death is like falling asleep. How naive… It's a tortured descent into frigid oblivion."

Brianna quivered. Her legs, her arms… frozen.

Vivienne loosened her grasp on her neck. "Surely you have some excuse. They all do."

Brianna stared at her from red-rimmed eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"That's it?" Vivienne laughed incredulously. "You're sorry? A life cannot be replaced, no matter how much we may wish it so."

Moisture tracked across her skin, freezing on her pale cheeks. Brianna closed her eyes. Maybe if she kills me, it'll be better. Maybe I'll go home. Maybe I'll forget...

"First Enchanter Vivienne!"

The grip on her neck loosened and the ice vanished instantly from her limbs. She slumped to the floor as Neirah strode out of the war room.

"Forgive the intrusion, my dear. I only wished to speak with her a moment."

Brianna dropped her head, one hand at her throat, the other braced against the stone floor.

"Well, I need to talk to her, too. We'll discuss this later."

Vivienne swept away. Her voice was tight as she called, "You'll always have my full attention, Brianna. Try not to let it go to your head."

Brianna felt Neirah's arms go around her, cradling her against her shoulder. Neirah stroked her hair, murmuring words Brianna didn't understand, but the flow of them calmed her erratic pulse. Her tender touch soothed the sting of her words from earlier, and Brianna relaxed.

"She wasn't going to kill you," Neirah said finally. "It was just a warning."

"A warning…? She froze me!" I killed Barris. The thought came unbidden and she pushed Neirah away. Staggering to her feet, she tripped over her numb limbs and sprawled out on the floor. With a muttered curse, she dragged herself to a stone pillar, face flushed.

Neirah stood. "Barris was her half-brother."

Brianna stared at her. "Wait, what? That's not in the… I didn't..."

"That's why."

Brianna kicked her feet awake. "So you're telling me I just killed the half-brother of the most powerful mage in Thedas."

"I think Solas would be offended by that statement."

"Don't. I killed someone!"

"Judging by your reaction, I'm assuming it's your first."

Her nose burned with fresh tears. "What, is it obvious or something?"

Neirah's expression softened.

"What do I do now?"

"Stay out of her way for a while."

"Hey. If I see her coming, trust me, I'm running the other direction." Brianna looked away. I wanted to help, not cause more pain.

That night, her dreams were haunted by Barris's fleeting smile, ending with his body twisted and broken on the chanty floor. A single, harrowing scene, replaying endlessly. No matter how much she screamed, he always climbed the ladder.

xxx

Early the next morning, drained and irritable, she was called to the war room.

A messenger poked his head in. "The Herald has departed for Redcliffe, Lady Nightingale. They will return in three weeks."

"When Solas returns from Redcliffe, we will have him see if he can determine where your ability comes from." Leliana's expression was grave, but her eyes were gentle. "Until then, we would ask that you remain here, for the safety of those in Haven. In regards to what transpired yesterday, I have spoken with First Enchanter Vivienne, and she has expressed to me that she harbors no ill will against you. The connection between her and Ser Barris was not widely known. I hope you understand we only have your safety in mind."

Brianna comprehended the warning, but something didn't sit right. Redcliffe…? Why were they going to Redcliffe? When the council members looked at her in confusion, she realized she had said it out loud.

Cullen hesitated before saying, "Since so few templars survived the events at Therinfal, the Herald has agreed to meet with the mages at Redcliffe to establish an alliance. Grand Enchanter Fiona has expressed her desire to meet with her to discuss the terms."

"How is that possible?" Brianna asked, looking between them. "Recruiting both was never a possibility on any of the timelines I saw."

Leliana and Cullen exchanged a look.

"Last we heard," Josephine offered, "the invitation from the mages was still on the table, so conscripting the remaining templars wouldn't necessarily preclude the possibility of an alliance with the mages. Only time will tell if they decide to support us."

After the meeting, Brianna was allowed to gather her things, and was then escorted to the chantry basement. It was as dark and musty as she had ever seen it, but the distinguishing difference was that it was divided lengthwise. One side had several rooms and alcoves for storage, and a door in the partitioning wall led to a row of cells beyond. It was a small comfort when the guard did not take her beyond that door. However, her relief was extinguished when the bolt turned in the door behind her, locking her inside a small room barely longer than she was tall. A low cot in one corner, a bucket in another, and a pile of crates against the opposite wall. "Well… I guess this is what happens when you kill someone."

She was left alone with her thoughts, which only grew more turbulent as time stretched into an endless tunnel of monotony. The long nights provided no relief as her dreams were plagued by vicious replays of Barris's fatal climb, each more bloody and horrendous than the last. Inevitably, they ended with Brianna's hands coated in slick, warm blood, Barris's body broken before her, brown eyes unseeing. The guard pounding on the door would jar her awake, and she would scramble for the bucket, emptying her stomach in gasping heaves.

It should've been me. It should've been me.

It didn't matter that countless lives had been saved. It was the one, accidental casualty that stained her conscience, the clang of steel filling her ears as the stone walls closed in.

Panting, Brianna grabbed the bucket as she lost her dinner, hair clinging to her damp forehead. The guard outside the door pretended not to notice. She grabbed the nearby water pitcher, swishing the foul taste away. Rubbing her fingers together, she could still feel the sticky blood beneath her nails and staining her skin. Tears slipped down her cheeks, her heart sinking into nothingness.

"Saddened, sorrowful. Suddenly in a world not your own."

Brianna lifted her head. A thin figure sat perched on the crates. Her gaze swung to the door.

"I made him forget I was here." The pale, blond boy stared at her from underneath an excessively large hat. "You want everyone to forget you were here, too."

"Cole…" Brianna stumbled to her feet, throwing her arms around him. She buried her face in his bony shoulder, unable to quiet the sobs that shook her.

"You know who I am," he said, voice light with surprise. "If this helps, then I'm glad." He didn't return the embrace, but didn't pull away either.

"What are you doing here?" Brianna lowered herself onto the cot.

"It was an accident. Whistling wind whipping him away from a height. Falling, flailing… What about my sister? Duty is done."

Brianna hadn't thought she would mind Cole's ramblings, but this? She shuddered, touching her lips. "I didn't mean to…"

He cocked his head. "Who are you?"

"Brianna."

"I can't see where you're from. Far away, from a mirror. Twisting, tumbling through. But you knew this place, knew of him. Knew his loneliness, his fear, his face... "

Brianna bowed her head.

"His feelings."

"Solas." Just saying his name made her heart stutter.

"You are good for him. Helping him see what he hasn't allowed himself to see. He helps you forget." He paused. "I am helping, I think."

"Yes, you are, Cole." Brianna smiled at him through her tears.

"I can make you forget about Barris, if you like."

Brianna swallowed hard. She hadn't expected that offer. "It should have been me."

"A life for a life. Like a knife, it cuts away what makes us feel safe, steady, standing. His smile that he gave you in passing. Such a small, simple thing, but burned on your mind like a brand. He sees your smile. He knows. Everything is different now. Everything has changed."

"How do I get past this?"

But Cole was gone.

xxx

"The fuck do you mean, you'll get the key?!"

Brianna stirred, the booming shout slicing through her fog of sleep.

"Don't test me. Take me to her now, or I swear by Andraste's nipples, I'll string you up by your ballsack on the roof of this building, you worthless piece of shit! Now move!"

The guard stuttered profuse apologies as the key rattled in the door.

"Brianna!"

"We fed her every day, Your Worship, I swear!"

"Shut the hell up, or I'll stitch your mouth closed myself! Get out!"

Concern shimmered in those golden eyes, and Brianna flashed her a half-smile. "Come to finish me off?"

Neirah swore vehemently. "This kind of treatment from my own people. Disgusting." She grabbed one of Brianna's arms and slung it over her shoulders. "We're going outside. Where the sun is."

"Neirah…"

"Cole told me. I came as soon as I heard."

"The mages?"

Neirah helped her up the stairs. "With us. Corypheus has the rest of the templars though. It's not looking good."

"You'll be fine."

"Yeah, I'm always fine, but you? Damn. You've looked better, I'm sad to say."

"What, no… I can't possibly look that bad. I'm glad to see you, though."

The doors of the chantry opened and blinding light slapped Brianna in the face.

Neirah gripped her more tightly. "I've got you," she murmured.

"Herald!"

Brianna's breath caught. She tried to pry her eyes open, but the sunlight on the snow was excruciating. Long fingers wrapped around her arm, warming her skin through her tunic.

"Where were you?" Solas's voice was close to her ear, tight and urgent. "Why didn't you answer?"

"What...?"

"You barricaded yourself in the Therinfal chantry. In the Fade. I was unable to enter."

Tears burning behind her eyelids, she retorted, "Well, I didn't know, so I'm sorry, okay?"

The grip on her arm tightened.

"Are you two done?" Neirah's voice was sharp, if not slightly amused.

"Yes, you may return me to my cell."

Neirah snorted. "I'm not letting you out of my sight again, Peewee. From now on, you're with me."

Brianna aimed a wide, blind smile in the direction of her voice. "Sounds perfect."

The fingers slipped from her arm, leaving a trail of cold behind them. Likely the wind. Furrowing her brow against the bright, white world, she cracked an eye open, but Solas was already striding away, shoulders taut. "Someone's upset," she grumbled.

Neirah threw back her head and laughed. "I've only seen him this ticked off when someone compliments the Dalish. But it looks like I'm not the only one keeping an eye on you."