~revised~

Chapter IX

Mira

They had brought K9 into a chip-shop where the Doctor and Sarah Jane were now trying to repair it. She was sitting at a table, a bit distant from them, watching Mickey and Rose at the counter. Sarah had clearly given the impression that she wanted a word alone with the Doctor, all too understandable after she hadn't seen him for a while. So here they where. The Doctor and Sarah, Mickey was teasing Rose, and she just sat there, feeling a bit redundant and excluded. She couldn't really help the Doctor with K9, and even though Mickey didn't have anything against her, she didn't want to interfere in his conversation with Rose now. They all had each other.. No matter what exactly was going on between them, all the filth that had been exchanged between Rose and Sarah Jane, or Rose's behaviour towards Mickey – this was their home. Their life. Here and now, whilst her own life was incredibly far away. And maybe even lost forever. Everything she was, everything she had done, everyone she had known – it didn't matter in this place. None of it had ever happened here. She could tell them anything about her past, made up stories, whatever. No way to prove any of it. She took a last look around her, seeing everybody still being engaged with each other and stood up. She needed some air, desperately. And maybe the sight of the stars above her head.

No one looked at her as she left the shop, and once outside, the cool night-air hit her. For a moment she just stood, eyes closed, taking a deep breath, ignoring the sting in her ribs, before she looked around. So, that was the year 2006 in this universe. In hers, in 1971 after the first landing on the moon, everything had changed. They hadn't just set foot on the moon, but also brought back alien technology, giving history a whole new and unexpected turn. By 2006 there had been space travel and everything, whilst Earth here still seemed to be asleep in the pre-space-age. She didn't even know who had been the first man on the moon here, or when it had happened. And frankly, she didn't care. It would probably just destroy the little hint of hope she still had left.

She took a few steps away from the doors and the windows of the shop, finally looking up. It was a bit cloudy, but she could see a few stars and the bright full moon. Once more she tried to listen, feeling for a hint of a premonition if she would make it back again or not. She tried to clear her thoughts completely, most of all of every wishful thinking, hoping there was something left, some feeling which felt weirdly real and certain and not quite as if it had originated in her own mind. But there was nothing. Was that it then? No feeling about the future, no place to start looking for a way back and not a clue if there was something more behind it this time. Nothing. She was as lost as anyone could be. Lost and alone. She slowly felt despair and fear creeping up on her like a dark shadow, spreading out from a place in her mind that she had so carefully locked up for almost all her life now.

Stop it.

What had happened had almost destroyed her back then, and she had wondered ever since how she had managed to survive it. She just knew she did, somehow. Scarred, but not dead. On the other hand, the situation now might be similar, but it wasn't the same. In fact, it was worse.

Stop it!

It was Mickey who finally pulled her out of her thoughts, as he opened the door to the shop. "Mira, come in! They fixed the dog!" He had to address her twice before she noticed him.

She turned around and went back into the chip-shop. She arrived just in time to hear K9 speak. "Master!" The robotic dog lifted his head and the little antennas that served as ears rotated.

"He recognizes me!" the Doctor exclaimed ecstatically and looked around. Mira tried to smile at him, but it was merely a poor attempt. For a second it seemed that his smile would falter as he looked at her face, but then the dog continued to speak, and his attention was drawn to the robot again.

"Affirmative"

"Rose, give us the oil," the Doctor said.

She handed it to him, and he was just about to dip his finger in it, as Rose quickly warned him. "I wouldn't touch it, though, that dinner lady got all scalded."

"I'm no dinner lady," he said, and then turned to Rose. "And I don't often say that."

Now he was dipping his finger in the oil, and although Mira was a bit afraid that it would harm him, nothing happened. He smeared it on a sensor that K9 had extruded and then they all waited for him to analyse it.

"Here we go. Come on, boy. Here we go," the Doctor encouraged the dog.

"Oil. Ex- ex- ex- extract ana- an - analysing..."

Didn't sound as if fully repaired, Mira thought.

"Listen to it, man! That's a voice!" Mickey was now also joking about the voice of the robot.

"Careful! That's my dog!" Sarah Jane immediately told him.

"Confirmation of analysis - substance is Krillitane Oil," K9 had finished the analysis.

"They're Krillitanes," the Doctor said. Was he shocked? He clearly seemed a bit shocked to her.

"Is that bad?" Rose wanted to know.

"Very. Think of how bad things could possibly be, and add another suitcase full of bad," he answered.

Now he was exaggerating, wasn't he? She could think of a lot very, very bad things, and she had no doubt that he could as well. It wasn't that bad, was it?

"And what are the Krillitanes? Those gigantic bats we saw?" Mira asked.

"Most likely. They're a composite race. Just like your culture is a mixture of traditions from all sorts of countries - people you've invaded or have been invaded by, you've got bits- bits of Viking, bits of France, bits of whatever - the Krillitanes are the same. An amalgam of the races they've conquered. But they take physical aspects as well. They cherry-pick the best bits from the people they destroy. That's why I didn't recognize them. The last time I saw Krillitanes, they looked just like us except they had really long necks."

"What are they doing here?" Rose wondered.

"It's the children. They're doing something to the children," he said as if just realising it himself, sounding horrified.

...

She had helped Sarah and Mickey to lift K9 back into Sarah's car. Rose and the Doctor where still in the chip-shop.

"So, what's the deal with the tin dog?" Mickey asked.

"The Doctor likes travelling with an entourage. Sometimes they're humans, sometimes they're aliens, and sometimes... they're tin dogs," Sarah answered him.

One more piece to the picture of who this man really was.

"What about you? Where do you fit in the picture?" Sarah continued talking to Mickey.

"Me? I'm their Man in Havana. I'm the technical support, I'm...," Mickey answered, his voice slowly changing from enthusiasm to realisation. "Oh, my God. I'm the tin dog," he added and sat down, apparently a bit shocked by his discovery. Sarah just smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

Right at this moment Rose and the Doctor were leaving the shop. She couldn't help but overhear their conversation. Or, more likely, Rose confronting the Doctor. It was loud enough.

"How many of us have there been, travelling with you?" Rose demanded to know.

"Does it matter?" the Doctor replied, clearly not wanting to talk about this right now. Or ever.

"Yeah, it does, if I'm just the latest in a long line," she said as if she was about starting to cry.

"As opposed to what?" the Doctor said, now turning around to face her.

"Well, what's about Mira, to start with? Why did you ask her to come along?"

He looked at her in surprise. "Why? Because she has nowhere else to go. She's stuck here all alone. She doesn't have anyone. That's why. Should I just send her away? Away to what?"

Ouch. Thanks. Well, that was a quite accurate description of her situation, but hearing it like that was harder than she would have expected it to be. She didn't want to be "kept" out of pity. And even if so, at least she didn't want to hear it. Seemed as if Mickey wasn't the only dog here. But at least Mickey had a choice. He could just walk home and happily go on with his life. But, technically speaking, so did she, didn't she? The alternatives weren't too pleasant, but she didn't have to stick around. There was still her original plan. There was always a choice.

"I thought you and me were... but I obviously got it wrong. I've been to the year five billion, right, but this... now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you're going to do to me?" Rose said with a shaky voice.

"No. Not to you," the Doctor said as if he didn't need to think twice about it.

"But Sarah Jane... you were that close to her once, and now... you never even mention her. Why not?" Rose insisted.

"I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone who you..," the Doctor said, now sounding close to tears himself. He suddenly stopped as if he had said to much already.

He loved Rose, Mira suddenly realised. Or at least she was very dear to him. But it wasn't meant to be. Not now nor ever. He had just said it himself. And she knew exactly what he meant. Poor Rose. She had found herself in his position way to often. And she had once allowed herself to be happy with someone, at least for a while. Only to hold his hand at his death-bed as he died of old age. After that she had sworn to herself to never go through this ever again.

"What, Doctor?" Rose asked.

"You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone. That's the curse of the Time Lords."

That would have hit home for her even on good days. Not to mention on days like today. But still, there were a lot of things left she didn't understand. What did he mean by regenerating? And why for all planets didn't he go for someone of his own people? Weren't they as long lived as he was? If so, why not? She shook her head. She wouldn't get the answer to all these questions tonight.

Suddenly an all too familiar screech reached her ears. She turned her head and saw one of the Krillitanes heading for Sarah. Rose, the Doctor and Sarah managed to duck, but apparently it had never been the motivation of the Krillitane to really hit them. They had been in plain, open sight, even when ducking down.

"But it didn't even touch her, it just flew off! What did it do that for?" Rose spoke out what Mira was thinking.


Doctor

They were heading for the school again the next morning. They hadn't slept that much last night, just a bit at Sarah's place. Well, technically, he hadn't slept at all, instead he had spent the night talking with Sarah Jane about old times. Rose had been with Mickey in the guest-room, Mira had stayed on the couch in the living-room. At least she had pretended to be asleep, but he somehow doubted that she had actually slept. He was worrying about her; just a little bit, but nevertheless he did. She seemed to be a bit absent since they had been to the chip-shop yesterday, and her face was not as open as it had been the last days. These were just tiny changes, and most people would have missed them, but not he.

"All right," he said as they walked over the school-yard. "Rose and Sarah, you go to the maths room. Crack open those computers, I need to see the hardware inside. Here, you might need this."

He handed the Screwdriver over to Sarah, who was walking at his right side. He noticed Rose holding out her hand as well, causing him to sigh inwardly. No matter what he did with the two of them around, it was wrong.

"Mickey - surveillance. I want you outside," he said to Mickey.

"Mira, surveillance as well. I want you in the school. Try to keep anyone away from the maths room." He looked at her. "If you would be so kind to take an order."

"Sure," she nodded and strode of, eventually vanishing into the building. Not a hint of a smile or any reaction as he had hoped to provoke with his last sentence.

"Just stand outside?" he heard Mickey complain.

"Here, take these - you can keep K9 company," Sarah said to him, chucking her car-keys at him. Good, one problem less. "Don't forget to leave the window open a crack," he told him whilst heading straight for the main entrance.

"But he's metal!" Mickey yelled after them.

"I didn't mean for him," he replied.

"What're you gonna do?" Rose wanted to know.

"It's time I had a word with Mr Finch."

He finally met Mr. Finch at the swimming pool. They were both standing at opposite sides of the water, eyeing each other suspiciously.

"Who are you?" he asked quietly, his hands in the pockets of his coat.

"My name is Brother Lassa. And you?"

"The Doctor. Since when did Krillitanes have wings?"

"It's been our form for nearly ten generations, now. Our ancestors invaded Bessan. The people there had some rather lovely wings. They made a million widows in one day, just imagine."

"And now you're shaped human."

"A personal favourite, that's all."

"And the others?"

"My brothers remain bat form. What you see is a simple morphic illusion. Scratch the surface and the true Krillitane lies beneath."

That was the reason why Mira hadn't figured out in the beginning that they were aliens. Obviously it was not just an optical illusion.

"And what of the Time Lords? I always thought of you as such a pompous race. Ancient, dusty senators, so frightened of change and... chaos. And of course - they're all but extinct. Only you. The last," Brother Lassa continued, walking slowly towards him.

"This plan of yours - what is it?" he asked, ignoring the rather obvious provocation, now also walking towards him.

"You don't know," Lassa said, pleasantly surprised and somehow satisfied.

"That's why I'm asking."

Now they were facing each other. It wasn't sure yet who would back down, if one of them would at all. The Doctor was sure that it wouldn't be him.

"Well, show me how clever you are. Work it out," Brother Lassa challenged him.

"If I don't like it... then it will stop," he simply said. No matter what it was – there was a good chance he wouldn't like.

"Fascinating. Your people were peaceful to the point of indolence. You seem to be something new. Would you declare war on us, Doctor?" Brother Lassa said, after giving him a close look out of narrow eyes.

"I'm so old now. I used to have so much mercy," he answered, his voice now dangerously quiet. He was staring at Lassa. "You get one warning. That was it," he continued as Lassa had finally broken eye contact. Then he turned around to walk away.

"Maybe I have something for you," Lassa said. The Doctor stopped and turned around. "Or... someone?" Lassa continued.

"Don't," the Doctor warned him.

"But it is just a sign of my good will. To convince you." Lassa winked with his index-finger, and Mira stumbled in his field of vision from behind some lockers, obviously having been pushed by someone.

Her hands were bound to her back, but aside from that, she appeared to be unharmed.

"Mira!" he yelled. "What have you done to her?" he demanded to know from Brother Lassa, now all calmness gone from his voice.

"Nothing. We could have eaten her, although she's a bit skinny for that. But we didn't. Take it as a sign of our good will, as I just said," Lassa answered, and turned around to walk away. "The next time we meet you will join with me. I promise you," he said over his shoulder, before leaving the room.

The Doctor stared after him for a few seconds, his eyes burning with anger.

"My bad," he suddenly heard Mira say. "Should have been more careful. But I was outnumbered. Before I knew what they-"

"You're alright?" he asked whilst rushing over to her, his anger suddenly replaced by concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. They just grabbed me as soon as I walked through the doors."

He walked around her and saw that her hands were bound with a rope, secured by some simple knots. He undid them, feeling the anger building inside him again as he looked at the red markings left on her wrists. He turned her around on her shoulders, eyeing her carefully.

"I'm fine, really," she said once more.

He couldn't help himself, he simply had to hug her now. Just to let almost instantly go of her as she gasped in pain.

"What?"

She didn't answer, just holding her left side and leaning heavy against him. All colour from her face was gone.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, although he couldn't imagine how he could have done it. Well, in some way he had by touching her in the wrong way. But she must have been injured before that.

"No. It's nothing," she finally managed to say between clenched teeth. "I just fell over a chair and against a table last night. It's not yet decided what's harder, ribs or table, I'm afraid. And struggling with those bats didn't make it any better."

"You broke your ribs?" he asked disconcerted, still supporting her by holding her right arm.

"No, don't think so," she said as she freed herself from his grip. "Just a really ugly bruise. And you just hit it with your hug."

"Just a bruise? You don't look like 'just a bruise'", he said, reaching out with his hand to examine her side. Unfortunately he hadn't had his Sonic now. Mira shoved his hand aside before he could touch her.

"Mira, please."

"Don't. Bruised or not, it still hurts. Besides, I have broken my ribs before, I know how that feels. It's fine. Apart from that there isn't anything we can do about it now, can we?"

"Fine," he said after they had stared at each other for a few moments. He didn't believe her, but she was right. Nothing he could do right now. How long had she been at the swimming pool anyway? Did she overhear the whole conversation with Lassa?

"Let's see if Rose and Sarah have accomplished anything with the computers," he finally said.


Mira

She was following the Doctor, secretly holding her side when he wasn't looking. Probably her ribs were cracked after all, or it was just an exceptionally painful bruise. Either way, there wasn't much they could do about it now, so it wouldn't do any good if he was worrying about it. She had been injured, probably had broken almost every single bone at least once by now, and she knew her body and its limits better than anyone else. The scene she had witnessed at the swimming pool still occupied her mind. Was he really the last one of his people? Why would Lassa confront him with that if it wasn't true? Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by loud laughing coming from the maths room. Rose and Sarah Jane? Well, that certainly was a change of hearts.

"How is it going?" the Doctor asked as he walked in. She followed, and as soon as Rose and Sarah saw him they both turned to him, breaking into laughter again after staring at him for a moment.

"What?" he said, completely oblivious to what's going on. "Listen, I need to find out what's programmed inside these."

But they didn't stop, now laughing almost hysterically, Rose pointing this strange device at him which he had used to repair the robot-dog and to open the door to the headmaster's office.

"What? Stop it!" he demanded.

"Well, at least their good with each other now I guess," Mira whispered to him, smiling softly. The only thing she earned for that was a confused glance from him.

"Whatever," he finally said, walking past Rose and Sarah, straight to some of the processing units. Or computers, as those things were called here at this time. "

Screwdriver!" he said, holding his hand behind him. Rose gave the device to him, then she went for the door. A group of pupils was about to walk in.

"No, no - this classroom's out of bounds. You've all gotta go to the South Hall. Off you go, South Hall!" Rose told them off.

"What's that?" she asked the Doctor who had now cables hanging all around his neck, probing some sort of casing. Maybe a computer-core or a switch for some sort of data-network, she thought.

"It's deadlock-sealed, that's what it is," he gave her not exactly the answer she was hoping for. "I can't shift it."

"I thought the Sonic Screwdriver could open anything!" Sarah Jane said.

"Anything except a deadlock seal. There's gotta be something inside here. What're they teaching those kids?"

Suddenly all the screens in the room came alive.

"I guess that's what these positronics were doing," Mira said, subconsciously using the term from her universe.

"Computers," he corrected her. "Some sort of code..," he added, staring at the screens. "No... no, they can't be... ", he continued after he had looked at the big screen on the wall a few moments longer.

"What?" Mira asked quietly.

"The Skasis Paradigm. They're trying to crack the Skasis Paradigm," he said, whilst looking at her in way that made her shiver.

Skasis Paradigm? What was he talking about?

"The Skasis what?" Sarah asked.

Fine, no one besides the Doctor seemed to know.

"The... God-maker. The universal theory. Crack that equation and you've got control of the building blocks of the universe. Time and space and matter, yours to control," he explained.

"Holy shit," Mira whispered. She had no idea what building blocks meant in this case, but the rest sounded serious enough. In the end it didn't matter. Crack the universal theory and you're one step above God.

"What, and the kids are like a giant computer?" Rose asked.

"Yes," the Doctor said simply. "And their learning power is being accelerated by the oil! That oil from the kitchens, it works as a- as a... conducting agent. Makes the kids cleverer," he continued after he had walked around the class room to work it out.

"But that oil's on the chips. I've been eating them," Rose said.

Yeah. She had eaten them too. Not much, but still. Yuck. Mira pulled a face at the memory of the taste of these chips.

"What's fifty-nine times thirty-five?" the Doctor asked Rose.

"Two thousand and sixty five," she answered without hesitation. "Oh my God... "

"But why use children? Can't they use adults? Why humans at all?" Mira asked him.

"No, it's gotta be children. The God-maker needs imagination to crack it. Human imagination is rather good, at least as long as you're still children. They're not just using the children's brains to break the code... they're using their souls."

"Let the lesson begin." They all spun around to look at Finch who had just entered the room.

Brother Lassa, she thought. Not Finch.

"Think of it, Doctor - with the Paradigm solved, reality becomes clay in our hands. We can shape the universe and improve it," he said, slowly approaching the Doctor.

"Oh yeah? The whole of creation with the face of Mr Finch. Call me old fashioned, but I like things as they are," the Doctor replied.

"You act like such a radical, and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order. Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good."

"What, by someone like you?" the Doctor said, and Mira could hear the scepticism in his voice.

"No... someone like you," Brother Lassa said to him.

The Doctor remained silent, just staring at the human-shaped Krillitane.

"The Paradigm gives us power, but you could give us wisdom. Become a God. At my side. Imagine what you could do - think of the civilizations you could save. Perganon, Assinta... your own people, Doctor. Standing tall. The Time Lords... reborn," Lassa continued, with the Doctor still saying nothing.

He didn't really consider Lassa's offer, did he? It was tempting, incredibly tempting. Bringing back people, long gone and dead, whole civilizations, everything that was long lost, conserving it, sparing not only him but everyone else the constant pain of loss? But at what price?

"Doctor, don't let him get into your head," she urged him.

"And you could be with him throughout eternity," Lassa turned to Rose, Sarah and her. "Young... fresh... never wither, never age... never die. Their lives are so fleeting. So many goodbyes. How lonely you must be, Doctor. Join us."

Damn, he was right, she thought. Maybe not quite in the way he had intended when it came to her, but right nevertheless.

"I could save everyone... ", she heard the Doctor say, and her head spun around to him. She would probably never be able to forget the expression she saw in his eyes. A mixture of temptation, sadness and tiredness.

"Yes," Lassa tried to convince him.

"I could stop the war... "

She saw the smile on Lassa's face. The smile of soneone who believed they had won.

"No," she said almost desperately. "You know that this can never be. The Universe around us changes. Everything changes as it moves forward. It's just us who remain... And us who are left behind. But we don't have the right to preserve everything as we see fit. Even if seeing it change hurts. But this pain defines us as much as love and happiness." She caught his glance. "Everything has its time. Everything has to end. Whether it's a world, an empire or a relationship. That's the reason why we treasure every moment; that is what life is about. Because those moments will pass and never come back. That's the real beauty in them. The only reason why we value them so much. Because they - and life - are fragile and... finite." She was still looking right at him, searching for something – anything - in his face that would tell her what was going on in his head right now. Finally he gritted his teeth as he picked up one of the chairs and hurled it into the great screen at the wall.

"Out!" he yelled as the screen splintered into countless shards.


Thanks to the unknown reviewer of the last chapter :-)