Thank you my beautiful angel, Taintedangel133, for being my fabulous beta!

R&R

Chap. 1

Chaos had erupted when Lavi came in, carrying an unresponsive Allen, a panicked expression on his face. After a brief moment of silence, Leever began ordering people around, sending some to get a stretcher, one to grab the head nurse, and another to inform Kamui the two had returned, though Allen seemed to be in bad shape. All the while, he had to calm the onlookers, most of whom had befriended the lovable white haired boy. The one who seemed the most in panic was Johnny, the person closest to Allen besides his fellow exorcists who were not present at the current moment.

It took four minutes, but the stretcher finally arrived and relieved Lavi from the weight known as Allen, and Leever was able to look closer at Allen's wounds. They didn't seem much worse than normal, the only exception being what looked like a stab wound in his side.

"What happened?" He asked himself, though Lavi heard and answered.

"I'm not certain, but it seems like one of the akuma we were facing had the power to enter a person's memories and 'play' with them. It tried to with me, but it wasn't too much of a problem and I was able to escape fairly quickly. Allen doesn't have any of my experience, though, so he got caught in the akuma's mind games. When I got out of the game, I took out the akuma and went to see what was wrong with Allen. He hadn't been moving since the akuma used it's ability, but there wasn't anything wrong with his body from what I found. Temperature, heart rate, pupil dilation; everything was fine." Lavi was slightly panicked while giving the report, and seemed to hope Leever knew the answer to all of his problems. All Leever could do was cast a glance before searching the crowd for the head nurse.

Spotting her graying hair in the crowed, he ordered everyone to make a path for her. After a glance, she commanded them to bring him to one of the back rooms, the one used only for those who would have to stay for a while. Two finders carried the unconscious man on the stretcher, followed closely behind by Lavi and Johnny.


Rumors spread after the spectacle. Allen was dead, he was killed by some level 5 akuma and everyone was hiding it. Lavi was actually the one who attacked Allen, sending him into a coma. They were caught by the Earl and tortured before Lavi was able to get them to escape.

No one knew what was true and what was false. Nothing had been announced, even to the exorcist and science division who knew the boy the best. Lavi was not allowed to tell anyone what happened, and those who had heard didn't tell others through orders of Kamui.

It seemed everyone forgot he came back without injury, only withdrawn into his mind.

When, after two weeks had passed and tensions were high, Kanda returned from a mission, just as frustrated as he normally was, and everyone was ready to fight. Kanda was being his normal self, ignoring everyone and letting out an irritated aura and pushing everyone out of his way. The people who would normally let this go growled at him, and one even tried to attack before backing away at the sight of Mugen. After this encounter, Kanda went in search of Lavi and Lenalee, deciding to force information about whoever he saw first.

As luck would have it, he found Reever and decided that man was good enough, even if he wasn't allowed to cut him.

"Hey," He said, calling across the room. "What's going on here?" Reever looked up, surprised to see Kanda questioning him.

"Nothing. Why?" He asked, genuinely confused. He took a brief glance around the room. It was in unnatural order, with only the normal papers covering the desk and floor, and a couple of experiments exploding in the north corner. There wasn't even someone growing bunny ears, or abnormally long hair. And absolutely no one had turned into an inanimate object in the past week. They really were having an abnormally calm week. That was the only thing Leever could think of, but he knew Kanda wouldn't care about that.

"Everyone's tense." He said, expecting an answer immediately after his statement. He began getting visually pissed when Reever only looked more confused than before.

"Really? Haven't we always been this way?" Kanda growled and walked away, leaving Reever to think about what he was talking about. It took a few minutes, but Reever finally got it, long after Kanda was gone. He debated going to find the irritable samurai before he cut off any limbs unlucky enough to make him blow his top, but eventually decided it would be alright. Someone would figure out what the boy wanted.

Johnny was his next victim.

The boy was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he knew it when he was pressed into the wall feet away from him, a hand on his chest to hold him back. Kanda waited for the poor boy's head to stop spinning before questioning him. Johnny immediately got what he was wondering about and burst into tears. Kanda, not expecting such a reaction, released him and stepped a foot back.

"A-A-Allen!" Johnny wailed, and the people around him covered their ears and continued walking, already used to what was going on after two weeks of having to deal with this same thing. Someone from the science division, someone who Kanda never bothered to learn the name of, just sighed.

"You had to get him started, didn't you." Kanda was too confused to react to the man's words, and the man scurried away when he realized who he was talking to before Kanda's mind could catch up.

"Did that dang moyashi got and get himself killed?" Kanda asked himself, too quiet for Johnny to hear, but enough for one of the finders who was scurrying past to catch the name moyashi, and guessed who Kanda was talking about.

"Kanda-san," He started. Kanda's attention drew to him after a moment's hesitation, as though trying to figure out if it was worth talking with the man or not. "You ha-ha-haven't been here for the past three w-weeks, cor-r-r-rect?" Kanda nodded, skeptical of why the man would chose to give him information without being prompted. "Well, Walker-san has been se-se-ent to the infirmary, and no o-one knows if he is alive o-or not. This wa-was two weeks ago. We haven't been gi-i-iven any information about his condition, and Johnny-san has been un-un-unde-understandably upset. Please don't ma-a-ake him cry any more." The first information to compute in Kanda's mine was that someone who wasn't an exorcist was talking with him willingly. The second was that the man was scurrying on his way, so Kanda couldn't question to clarify what he was saying.

The third was that no one knew what was going on with Allen.

Finally understanding the tense atmosphere, Kanda relaxed a tad and continued on with his day. First to the canteen to grab some well deserved food, then on to bed.

The next morning he went to the dojo, just as he always would do in the mornings, ready to meditate.

Only, Lenalee had beaten him to it. She was sitting in her usual spot that she would go to when quiet was all that she needed. And Kanda would normally be fine with that, if only there wasn't someone sitting in his spot.

Especially if that someone wasn't an eye-patch wearing, red haired, annoying bunny.

It took an entire fourth of a second, but soon enough Kanda had mugen out and against the side of Lavi's throat, pressing just enough to express his irritation.

"Yield! I yield!" Lavi shouted, slowly standing up and moving away from the sword, pressing the tip away from his neck as he did so. "Lenalee, tell Yuu not to kill me!" Once again the sword was up against his neck and Lavi scampered to get away. Kanda sat down in his spot, not caring enough about the red hair's actions to continue his chase.

Kanda expected Lavi to keep taking, but never would have have expected that Lenalee would be the one to question him. She knew the rules about being in the dojo while he's meditating. "Did you hear about Allen yet?" Kanda didn't reply, hoping she would leave him alone when she got the message. And she did, but Lavi picked up where she left off.

"Yuu~ did you hear? Allen's in the infirmary. Some akuma messed with his head, and now they won't let us know anything." Something felt off to Kanda, like Lavi was hiding crucial information about Allen. He opened his eyes enough for Lavi to see he was listening. Standing up, he motioned to the door. Lavi followed, leaving Lenalee confused over what just happened.

"What is it?" Lavi asked, just before Kanda shoved him against a wall. Momentarily shocked, Lavi responded on impulse. "What'd ya do that for? 'Cause I'm sorry for being loud while you meditate, if that's it." Kanda tisked.

"What are you hiding." Kanda glared, and Lavi's expression lost all life. There wasn't a good enough reason to keep up his act. "What's happened to the moyashi?"

Lavi looked around, searching for anyone who might overhear. He was only too glad to get this information to someone besides himself.

"His memory's missing. The kid doesn't even remember who Cross is, and is just shouting at everyone who walks into his room. When someone asks about his father, what's his face Walker, he spits on the person's clothes and scowls. No one knows what's going on or why he's acting like this. There's even a chance of an alternate personality being placed inside of him. Only Bookman, head nurse, Komui and I are allowed to see him. It seems he doesn't trust people that much, but I've been able to sit in the same room without him trying to take off my head, which is more than the others can say. Well, the head nurse scares him into submission, but he still glares at her. But you can't tell Lenalee. Branch Chief doesn't want her to panic more than she already is." Kanda grunted and walked back into the dojo, releasing Lavi from his grip. Lavi let out a sigh and walked back to the main building. It was time to go visit a certain white haired, bad tempered little boy.


"Why can't you idiots just leave me alone! I'm fine! I've lived on the streets all my life, and nothing bad's happened yet! You had no right to drag me into this dump and lock me up! None! Fuckin' bastards…" Was the first think Lavi heard as he walked into Allen's own personal section of the hospital. Bookman walked out of the door seconds later, letting out a sigh. He glanced up at Lavi.

"Deal with him." Lavi blinked as Bookman walked off.

Cautiously rounding the corner, Lavi entered the room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, only Allen was turned, back towards the door.

"... Hey, Allen." He said, not fully sure whether or not the boy would respond.

"Hey, bastard. Why are you here?" He mumbled to the wall. Lavi stepped forwards into the room, moving sideways just a little bit, wanting to know why Allen was facing away from him. The boy normally had the common courtesy to point his body in the direction of the speaker, even if he refused to look directly at them. The front of Allen's shirt was ripped open, though the buttons were still in place. They had put Allen in a dress shirt and black pants, since that's the comfiest clothing they had in the hospital wing, and Komui was too cheap to go out and look for something more suitable. The left sleeve was completely missing, showing Allen's red arm for the world/room to see, and large sections of his chest were showing through.

"You bastards put me in such shitty clothing. How am I supposed to get out of this thing? Can't fucking figure it out." Allen continued mumbling to himself as Lavi undid the buttons, though he didn't know why he bothered. Just a couple more tares and the thing would fall off. It would take less effort than unbuttoning.

A glance at Allen's face told him the boy was fascinated with this new method of closing shirts, and Lavi was wondering yet again what had happened to the boy's mind.

"Hey, Allen, what do you remember?" Allen looked at the young Bookman like he was insane.

"Everything. Don't be an idiot. It's you bastards who are keeping me locked up. I'm not certain, but I think experimenting on people without their consent is illegal, and I definitely haven't said yes, so get me out of this room!" Allen glared once more before shifting in his bed and lying down, hiding under the blankets.

"Just tell me. You said you didn't remember your father. Who do you remember?" Allen peaked out from under his covers, his eyes lost in memory.

"I remember a dog. And there was his owner. The dog died. He was really old. But the man didn't cry. I cried, but that stupid fuck didn't. Other than that, my life was even shittier than some pampered boy could believe. Someone like you probably hasn't seen a man drown his twin daughter and son, or a woman hanging herself because some lord told her to, and threatened her family to make sure she would. You probably haven't even seen someone get raped in front of you, and dying after it was over, bleeding from all of the wounds inflicted by the men." Allen's eyes were dark, dead, and unfitting in the normally cheerful Allen's image.

"And what if I have?" Lavi may not have seen any of this happen, but he had read about it over and over, spanning across the ages and within most every commoner life book or journal he had seen.

Allen searched within Lavi's eyes, looking deeper than Lavi though possible for the boy. And his eyes narrowed when he found what he was searching for. "It's not smart to lie to a street rat. We know how to read people better than anyone. It's like our living. You know of it, but you've never experienced it up close, have you." Lavi stayed silent after than, and considered leaving after an hour of no sound. Until a thought came into his mind. At the beginning, Allen didn't know what his name was, and would get upset with people for calling him that. There would be times when he forgot to respond to his name altogether.

"Hey, what's your name? Your actual name?" He asked. Allen looked at him skeptically. After deciding it wouldn't be too harmful to give such a useless piece of information, he spoke.

"Don't got one."

"What should I call you, than?"

"You can stick with Allen. It doesn't bother me anymore."

"What did people call you on the streets."

Allen quieted once more. His response was a mere whisper. "Red."

"Red? Why would they call you Red? Unless you went off and killed people." Allen was shocked with Lavi's assumption.

"Kill? How could I kill people? I don't have that kind of strength, so no. It's because of my hair. 'Cause it's redish-brown, people who were chasing me would see the redish hair and shout out 'there's Red!' so that became my name. It's the only thing people called me that wasn't an insult."

"What are you talking about? Your hair isn't red." Lavi pointed out, and Allen nearly fell off the bed.

"What?! Get me a mirror! Now!" He shouted. Lavi blinked at the sudden energy in the boy, and helped search after a couple moments of stillness. When Allen left the room, Lavi followed, panicking when he couldn't see the boy anymore. He relaxed when he heard a surprised yelp just a couple rooms away, and followed the sound. Allen was standing inside of one of the bathrooms, staring at his appearance, shocked.

"What… the… hell?" He was stroking at his hair, trying to wipe off anything that could have been covering his natural color. Discovering nothing was changing, he moved to his scar/curse mark. Finally, he stood back and looked at his entire body. "I'm so… old. What the fuck happened? I was, like seven! Now I'm eighty!" He rounded, turning to Lavi. "What did you fuckers do to me?! I'm not supposed to be an old man! Why did this fucking happen?!" Realizing he was crying, Allen covered his face with an arm to hide his tears. "Damn it!"