Chapter LXXX
Mira
Mira watched the Doctor, his hand still on the button of the intercom, hesitating for a second, before he continued, "He's been infected, just like Korwin!"
"Korwin's dead, Doctor," was the only reply McDonnell gave them, shock still in her voice.
Although felt really sorry for McDonnell, immediately her analytically thinking jumped in, sharpened by years and years of similar situations. One problem less, or, in other words, back to only one infected person wreaking havoc on this ship. Right now wasn't the time nor place to mourn the loss of him, all that did matter now that he died either of whatever has taken over him or he got killed by someone of the crew. She hated it, but she knew that every little information was vital, so she just had to ask McDonnell how Korwin had died.
As she met the Doctor's eyes she was quite sure he was thinking something similar.
But then they got interrupted by the computer, saying, "Airlock decompression completed. Jettisoning pod."
Next moment the Doctor jumped over to the window in the airlock door. She followed him, and all she could see was the pod slowly floating away, towards the sun. She could still see Martha through the little window, hammering with her fists against it, saying something. It was already to far away for her to read her lips, but it didn't require much imagination what Martha was shouting.
"I'll save you!" the Doctor yelled, even though there was no way Martha could hear him.
As she turned her head to look at him, he had already made his way past her, back to the intercom.
"Scannell! I need a spacesuit in area seventeen now!" he yelled.
"What for?" Scannell asked.
"Just get down here!" he said, left the intercom and went back to the window.
"What's your plan?" she asked, even though she could add up one and one and imagine what he could want with a spacesuit. But she couldn't quite believe it he would really do it. "Even when you get out, there's no way you can reach it. It's too far away already."
"I know that," he said, his eyes still fixed on the escape pod.
"What-" she started, but then stopped for a moment, looking at him. "Oh no," she finally continued. "You're not planning to go after the pod and-"
"What?"
"Enter it? Try to turn it around? I'm sorry, but- "
"Good thinking," he interrupted her and cracked a smile. "Nah, that pod has no engine to speak of, so I won't be able to fly it back. There's a magnetic lock outside on the ship. If I can reach that, the pod gets pulled back."
"You're not going out there," she said toneless. "You won't survive for a minute. The heat shields are failing, so what in hell makes you think you can just go out and try to reach something on the hull?" She realised that she had been yelling the last part of the sentence.
"I can't let her die," he replied. "I asked her to come along, and I'm responsible for her. I'm not going to lose her."
"There's nothing you can do! You don't think you'll stand a chance, do you?"
"Oh, you watch me."
"I certainly won't watch how you kill yourself! I'm sorry, I really am. But look, they are too far gone. There's nothing you can do!"
"I have to try it. I can stand the heat for a while, I-"
"You're not going out there!" she said and grabbed his hand - realising at the same time that she was not exactly behaving as rational as she should right now. Maybe he could stand the heat. She had no idea about his physiology, so she had to trust him on that. And she should trust him. With everyone else she probably would have. How often had she trusted one of her alien friends when they had said they could stand certain conditions? But she didn't want him to go out there. Even if that meant sacrificing Martha.
But the sun's gravitation is too strong. There's no way the pod will get pulled back to the ship. It won't work, so he could just stay in here.
And yet, there was no way she could deny the ugly truth of her feelings getting in the way. She didn't want him out there. She didn't want him to sacrifice himself, a thing she had been about to do countless times for other's as well – even though on most occasions she had not thought about it in that way. It had only left her shivering after everything had been over with the sudden realisation of how close it had been. In situations like this there normally was hardly time to think something like: Oh, I'm about to give my life for you, maybe I'll die as a hero. No, that wasn't how it was working. It was just looking at the options and doing something - anything. All the rest was left for later – if there was a later.
She was still looking at him and it seemed as if he was about to reply, but then he averted his gaze and freed his hands. Scannell had arrived, carrying a red spacesuit. The Doctor took it from him and, without a word of explanation, started to get into it.
"What does he want with this?" Scannell asked finally, after looking back and forth between her and the Doctor for a few times, obviously quite confused.
"What does it look like?" she asked bitterly. "Don't think he's in for a nap or something like that," she added.
"He's not going to go out, is he?" Scannell asked, staring at her out of wide eyes. Then, before she could reply, he turned to the Doctor and repeated, "You're not going out there, are you?"
But the Doctor didn't reply, instead he went on checking the systems of the spacesuit.
"I can't let you do this!" Scannell said.
"You're wasting your breath, Scannell," the Doctor replied. "You're not going to stop me."
"You want to open an airlock in flight on a ship spinning into the sun," Scannell said. "No one can survive that!"
"Oh, just you watch."
"You open that airlock, it's suicide," Scannell tried to stop him. "This close to the sun, the shields will barely protect you."
"Thanks," she said to Scannell, her eyes fixed on the Doctor, her arms crossed in silent protest. "I just tried to explain the same thing to him. But he obviously doesn't care."
He spun around and looked at her as if she had just slapped him.
"Oh, but I do care," he said, and before she knew it, he found herself wrapped in his arms, held firmly against the hard and stiff material of the spacesuit he was now wearing. "And if you care, you let me do this," he whispered in her ear. Or had it been his voice in her head? She couldn't quite tell.
Oh yes, she did care. And she knew how much he already blamed himself for Martha being in that situation, but committing suicide instead of living with this blame was not an option, at least not in her opinion.
He let go of her and said, "If I can boost the magnetic lock on the ship's exterior, it should re-magnetise the pod. Now, while I'm out there, you have got to get the rest of those doors open. We need those auxiliary engines."
"Doctor, will you listen!" Scannell tried it once more. "They're too far away. It's too late!"
"I'm not going to lose her," he said, put on the helmet and went into the airlock.
"Decompression initiated. Impact in twelve fifty five," the computer announced.
Doctor
He stood in the airlock, waiting for decompression to finish.
"Impact in eleven fifteen. Heat shield failing. At ten percent," the computer announced.
He was not as certain as he had pretended to be that he could withstand the heat. But what else was there to do for him? He knew – just as well as Mira – that he would not be able to live with the guilt of losing someone again. He just had to try it.
Then, finally, he could open the airlock door. Immediately he was greeted by an incredible heat, not to speak of the blinding glare of the sun. A human in his stead wouldn't stand a chance against the forces at work here. It felt like a storm, and in some way it was one. Just not with air but with particles emitted from the sun, thrust out into space by gigantic solar flares. colliding with the hull of the ship. If it wasn't for the vacuum, he could have even heard them. Additionally, the strong gravitational field was pulling at him.
He gritted his teeth, desperately trying to keep his body under control and working – wondering once more how humans could deal with having almost no control at all over their autonomous nervous system and anything related to that, like their body temperature – and took a step forward, desperately clinging onto the edge of the airlock. A safety line would have been handy now, he realised, but that couldn't be helped now.
He stretched out his arm, trying to reach a row of buttons on the hull. He couldn't remember when he had last done something like that, hanging out of an airlock in direct vicinity to a sun, and it took all his concentration and strength to finally reach them – if only with the tips of his fingers. Then he tried to reach for a box beyond them, knowing at the same time it was out of his reach.
"You're still there?" he heard Mira's voice over the intercom.
For a moment it seemed that he could not only hear the sorrow in her voice, but also feel it, in some weird, empathic way – but he wasn't too sure about that. It could be possible, who knew how their perception of each other had changed – he just hoped he would have time to find that out.
"I can't, I can't reach!", he panted, and for a moment he was shocked how strained he was sounding. "I don't know how much longer I can last."
"Don't give up! You're already out there, so just try it!" she replied.
For a moment he was startled – he had expected her to tell him to go back, he really had. And he was almost certain that he had heard in her voice how hard it had been for her to encourage him. He stretched out his arm again, and with one final effort he managed to rip of the cover and pulled down the lever. He heard someone shout, and a second later he realised it had been him.
Then he flung himself slowly back into the airlock, exhaustion rushing through his body. He took a last look down at the sun – and almost immediately regretted it as he felt something entering his body and his mind. It took him a few moments to realise it, but then it hit him.
"It's alive," he whispered, and then repeated it, as if he couldn't quite believe it, "It's alive. It's alive!"
Mira
He had really done it. The hull magnetised with a dull, clicking sound of contacts closing. She saw how the Doctor stood in the still open airlock, staring down at the sun.
"Come back!" she yelled into the intercom. "Close the airlock now, or the pod-" But before she could finish, he had finally turned around. But something was wrong. It had been too much, even for him, being in open space so close to a sun. He crawled out of the airlock, the helmet in his hands, his eyes closed tight.
She ran over to him and tried to help him up, but he backed away until his back was against the wall.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you okay?" Martha, who had left the pod, asked and tried to help him up as well, but he shoved her away.
Then, as he finally opened his eyes for a moment, they were filled with white, bright light. For a second she was frozen to the spot. She could almost feel the thoughts in her head falling into place. It was one of those moments of utter realisation, when everything suddenly made sense. The sun. Burn with me. The feeling of something possessing Ashton, something more than a simple infection.
"No," she whispered. "Please, no."
She tried to grab his hand again – she just had to know how far he was gone. She was well aware that she most likely put herself in danger, but she didn't care.
"Stay away from me!" he hissed between gritted teeth, tried to push her hand away before he writhed in pain.
Then McDonnell arrived. "What's happened?"
"It's your fault, Captain McDonnell!" the Doctor snapped at her with such rage in his voice that she startled and took a step back.
"Riley, get down to area ten and help Scannell with the doors. Go!" McDonnell said to Riley, who was standing behind Martha.
She watched McDonnell for a moment. The captain really seemed to be rather clueless. Sure, she had done something illegal, but she most likely hadn't seen this coming. It was the sun. Of course. Burn with me. She had no idea how it worked, but it either was the sun itself, or, more likely in her opinion, something living in or next to it.
"You mined that sun!" the Doctor continued, his eyes still closed. "Stripped its surface for cheap fuel. You should have scanned for life!"
"I don't understand," McDonnell replied.
"Doctor, what are you talking about?" Martha asked.
Meanwhile, she had managed to take his hand which was still covered by the glove of the spacesuit, but she could not make any contact with him. That could be a good sign, as he still seemed to be able to block her, so he was not completely gone. But who knew for how long he would be able to fight it. Apart from that, she doubted she could help him. It was more physically taking over him than mentally, nothing she could really use her psychic powers against.
"That sun is alive. A living organism!" he yelled. "They scooped out its heart, used it for fuel, and now it's screaming!"
"What do you mean?" McDonnell asked and looked at her and then at Martha, obviously still not getting it. "How can a sun be alive? Why is he saying that?"
"Because it's living in me!" he yelled and bend over in pain.
"Oh, my God," McDonnell said, realisation written all over her face.
"Humans! You grab whatever's nearest and bleed it dry! You should have scanned!"
"It takes too long. We'd be caught. Fusion scoops are illegal," McDonnell replied.
Perfectly obvious and logical answer. Who would have expected the sun to be alive? Well, then again, the Doctor was somehow right. Why expect that it was not alive? Anyway, now it was too late.
"You've got to freeze me, quickly!" he panted.
"What?" Martha asked disbelievingly.
"Stasis chamber," the Doctor explained. "You've got to take it below minus two hundred. Freeze it out of me! It'll use me to kill you if you don't. The closer we get to the sun, the stronger it gets! Med-centre, quickly! Quickly!"
She tried to help him up, and finally he stood, leaning heavily against her. Almost a bit too heavy. "Martha, help me!" she said, and together they managed to lead him towards Med-centre.
"Impact in seven thirty," the computer announced.
Martha
They finally reached the Med-centre. Mira lead the Doctor to the stasis chamber, whilst she grabbed the manual.
"I can do it!" she said, trying to sound confident, as she caught Mira's look. The other woman just nodded and helped him on the table.
"Stasis chamber, minus two hundred, yeah?" she added, just to make sure she didn't get it wrong.
"No, you don't know how this equipment works," McDonnell, who had followed them, interfered now. "You'll kill him. Nobody can survive those temperatures!"
"He's not human. I'm afraid we have to trust him on that," Mira explained without turning her head.
"Let me help you, then," McDonnell said.
She turned her head to McDonnell and looked her up and down. "You've done enough damage," she then hissed at her and went over to the stasis chamber.
"Martha, not now. Keep it together," Mira said in such a tone that she immediately regretted having been so rude to the other woman. Mira was right, it was not the time now for that.
"Ten seconds," the Doctor said, his eyes still closed. "That's all I'll be able to take. No more." Then he turned his head to Mira. "Tell her!"
"Tell her what?" Mira asked, obviously taken aback.
"I might change, I might-" Whatever he wanted to say got drowned in a cry of pain. "I can't control it. If you don't get rid of it, I could kill you," he continued. "I could kill you all. I'm scared! I'm so scared!"
"No one is going to get killed. I won't let you, trust me!" Mira said, sounding astonishingly reassuring. "And you're not going to die either." She then pulled the silver, egg-shaped pendant over her head and managed to put it around the Doctor's neck. "Don't be afraid. I'm with you."
"What are you doing?" he yelled, panic in his voice.
"Trust me! I know what I'm doing," she just replied.
"But you said it will kill any-"
"That's not exactly how it works. It'll help your body to fight this- whatever it is. I-"
"Mira," he suddenly said very quiet. "I might change. I might not be the person I am now. There's something I have to tell you, or otherwise I probably never will-"
"Shut it," Mira interrupted him, grabbing his hand. "Keep that for later."
She looked back and forth between Mira and the Doctor for a few seconds, not fully comprehending what was going on. Why did she give him her pendant? Could it really help him? She seems to know what she was doing, but-
"Martha!" Mira interrupted her. "Ready?"
"You have to tell her!" the Doctor yelled again, his head still turned to Mira. "There's this process, this thing that happens if I'm about to die, I-"
"You're not going to die! And you're not going to regenerate!" Mira replied.
"Just promise me to stay with me! No matter how I end up. I had some nasty-"
"Shush. I won't leave you. I promise. Martha!"
Well, then it was her turn now. She somehow felt as if she was about to kill him. It certainly would kill any human. "Are you ready?" she asked him.
"No," the Doctor whispered, but there was no alternative.
She looked over to Mira, who had let go of his hand and stepped back and now nodded at her. She used the joystick to roll the table with the Doctor completely into the chamber. Then, trying to keep her hand steady, she typed 200 into the keypad and pressed the green button. She would never forget how he was screaming as his body temperature fell, not in all her life – however long that would be.
As if the computer had read her thoughts, it announced, "Heat shields failing. At five percent."
She looked over at the display and saw it was already at minus seventy degrees. But then, suddenly, the chamber stopped working and the display went black. Her first instinct was to check if she had accidentally touched something, but she hadn't.
"No! Martha, you can't stop it. Not yet," the Doctor yelled.
"What's wrong?" she heard Mira ask McDonnell.
"Power's been cut in Engineering," McDonnell replied.
"But how? It's only Riley and Scannell left. You said, Korwin- Are you sure?" Mira asked her intently.
Sure, it could be a failure due to the state of the ship, but, after what Korwin had done to the engines, she found it hard to believe.
McDonnell looked back at her for a moment, then said, determination in her voice, "Leave it to me." Then she left Med-centre
"Impact in four forty seven," the Computer announced.
"What now?" she asked Mira. "Don't think there's another stasis chamber, and he's-"
"Listen!", the Doctor panted between gritted teeth before Mira could reply. "I've only got a moment. You've got to go!"
"No way," she said and shook her head.
"Mira, take her with you. She can't stay here with me," he said and turned his head to Mira, eyes still closed. "Get to the front. Vent the engines. Sun particles in the fuel, get rid of them."
"Oh fuck!" Mira said and stared at her as if suddenly realising something essential.
"We can't leave him here!" she protested.
"We have to Martha. That's our only chance. Come!"
"But..."
"You've got to give back what they took," the Doctor said now – judging from the strain in his voice he would not be able to fight it much longer.
"Doctor!" she said and looked at Mira, shaking her head again.
"Martha, come. That's an order. Now!" Mira said to her, and something in her voice kept her from thinking twice about it. "And you stay here! Don't move!" Mira added, turning to the Doctor again. "Impact in four oh eight," the Computer said.
Mira
She ran out of Med-centre, Martha following her. Could it really be so simple? Well, it was their last chance. If that wouldn't work, they were screwed.
She grabbed – merely out of habit – to the spot where the cell-activator was normally hanging on its chain, but of course, there was nothing there, leaving her with a feeling of being naked. She had never made a habit out of "lending" it to someone, and she was almost certain that it wouldn't work anyway. But the few times she had saved someone with it, it had always been someone close to her. Very close.
"Impact in three forty three."
She prayed the Doctor was right. On the other hand, there simply was no time to try anything else. And at least they would give the sun, or whatever it really was, back what they had taken. Even if they wouldn't make it away without engine.
"Mira!"
She almost jumped as she heard the Doctor's voice over the intercom.
"Stay in Med-centre!" she replied without stopping.
"I can't fight it. Give it back or burn with me," he said. "Burn with me!"
"Oh hell, just hold on a few more minutes," she muttered to herself.
"Impact in one twenty one," the computer said.
As they got closer to the front, she could hear Riley swearing as he was trying to get the engines started.
"Collision alert. Fifty eight seconds to fatal impact."
"Vent the engines!" she yelled at him. "Dump the fuel!"
"What?" Scannell, who was there with Riley, asked absolutely dumbstruck.
"Sun particles in the fuel. Get rid of them. Do it. Now!"
They looked at each other for a moment, but then they obeyed and vented the engines. She only hoped it wasn't too late. Neither for them nor for the Doctor.
"Fuel dump in progress. Fuel dump in progress."
"There!" Scannell yelled, making her jump. "The auxiliaries are firing!"
And then she could feel it. The artificial gravity and the inertia dampeners couldn't quite take up for a moment as the ship accelerated, and suddenly it seemed as if the whole room was tilting to the side. It was, in some way, following the movements of the ship, even though the ship's systems normally would compensate that. She was down on the floor before she could lose her balance, as there was nothing near her to hold on to. It didn't prevent her from sliding over the floor, but at least now she didn't fall and went flying in an uncontrolled way.
"Impact averted. Impact averted. Impact averted."
"We're clear," Riley said, pushing himself up to his feed again, "We've got just enough reserves."
But she had already started to run towards the Med-centre, even though she had a distinct feeling the Doctor wouldn't be there anymore.
And indeed, she met him halfway there. He just got back to his feed, but his eyes were open and looking normal again.
"Doctor!" she yelled and he looked at her, smiling weakly. A moment later she lay into his arms. For a long moment non of them said a word, then he slowly let go of her. He pulled the pendant over his head, looked at it for a moment and then put it over her head. She couldn't help it, but he almost gave the impression to be glad of being rid of it again. And then she realised what had been there in his eyes as he had looked at it. It was the same weird, primal fear rushing over someone when coming in contact with superior technology. The same fear the first humans might have once experienced at their first contact with fire. The same feeling she sometimes got inside the TARDIS, or when he casually mentioned something about Time Lord technology.
"Thank you," he said quietly. "You might have saved me with that."
"Maybe," she replied just as quietly. It didn't matter now anyway. He was still here. They were all still here. Well, not all. Korwin, Ashton, Abi, Erina – and McDonnell, most likely. She was not too sure about McDonnell, but something was telling her she was dead as well.
"Doctor!" Martha's shout made her turn around and then step aside, as Martha was almost jumping at him and into his arms.
...
Later they were back where it had all started – Area thirty, together with what little was left of the ship's crew, Scannell and Riley.
McDonnell was indeed dead, and she could only imagine what had happened, as she had died alone, neither Scannell nor Riley had been there. It hit her rather hard, for McDonnell had been a great captain in her eyes – even after her the mistakes she had made.
But at least the TARDIS had survived the heat without showing any trace of almost being melted.
"This is never your ship," Scannell said after looking the TARDIS up and down for several moments, apparently trying to comprehend what he was seeing.
"Compact, eh?" the Doctor replied and patted his ship affectionately. "And another good word, robust. Barely a scorch mark on her."
"We can't just leave you drifting with no fuel," Martha said, changing topic.
"We've sent out an official mayday," Riley replied. "The authorities'll pick us up soon enough."
"Though how we explain what happened," Scannell added.
"Just tell them," the Doctor said. "That sun needs care and protection just like any other living thing." Then he left without saying goodbye and went into the TARDIS.
She was about to follow him – she was not particularly into goodbyes herself – but then she remembered her manners, stopped in the door-frame, turned around and waited for Martha.
"Oh, er, you're off then. No chance I'll see you again?" Riley just asked her.
"Not really," Martha replied. "It was nice, not dying with you. I reckon you'll find someone worth believing in."
"I think I already did," he replied, and next thing she saw was Martha kissing him.
Oh okay, time to go.
She turned around again and went into the TARDIS. Martha followed a few moments later, before she could exchange a single word with the Doctor, who was standing at the console, staring into space.
"So," Martha said cheerfully. "Didn't really need you in the end, did we?" Then, obviously realising how inappropriate this just had been, she stopped in her tracks, and then added, not as cheerfully as before, "Sorry. How are you doing?"
A good question, and one she herself would have liked to hear an answer to.
But the Doctor ignored it completely, instead he jumped back into action.
"Now, what do you say?" he said, flipping switches and pressing buttons. "Ice skating on the mineral lakes of Kur-ha. Fancy it?"
She just shook her head without saying anything. At least now she knew that there was a slight chance of them having something remotely like a conversation later; once their were alone.
"Whatever you like," Martha said in a miffed voice.
He stopped dead, looking back and forth between them. Well, he definitely seemed to realise that diverting from him and his issues like that wasn't quite working any more.
Then he walked over to Martha and pulled a key out of his pockets. "By the way, you'll be needing this." He hold the key up on its chain and Martha grabbed it, her eyes big with disbelief.
"Really?" Martha breathed.
"Frequent flier's privilege. Thank you."
Martha took the key, and then seemed to remember something.
"Oh, no. Mum," she said and pulled the phone out of her pocket. Then she walked a few steps away, her back to them and on a phone call with her mother.
For a moment she felt slightly envious that Martha had gotten a key after such a short time travelling with him, but quickly it was replaced with pain and tears welling up in her eyes as she watched Martha having a phone call with her mother, as if it was nothing at all. Suddenly she felt a soft, cool hand in hers. And then, to her utter surprise, he gave her a soft, short kiss on her cheek. As she turned her head, he looked with a sheepish, almost shy, expression at her.
"Thank you again," he said quietly.
"Don't mention it," she whispered, looking over to Martha who still turned her back to them, then she leaned her head against his shoulder.
OneWhoReadsToMuch, Julia N SnowMiko, bored411, DarknessShallSpreadXx, Arashi – IV of VI, Type40TARDIS, casongallifrey, HchiShirosaki: Thanks for leaving a review :-)
NeoMulder: Thanks, things are getting better again - hope for you too. If you ever feel like talking writing-problems, just feel free to ping me :-)
