Chapter XC

Doctor

He stood behind Mira, who herself waited behind the barriers the boys had build, rubbing his shoulder, equally confused and scared. He couldn't explain how Mira had managed to fling the gun out of his hands with a strength he had never expected from her. He knew he should take the gun back and send her inside, but something was stopping him. Anyway, now it was too late. Someone was hammering angrily at the main gate.

"Stand to!" the Headmaster shouted, "At post!"

And everyone – except for him – was taking aim.

"Remember," Mira said calmly, her voice hardly raised and yet he was certain that everyone – probably even the Headmaster – was listening to her. "They're only made of straw. You'll kill no-one."

The gate shook violently under heavy blows and finally flung open. Then the scarecrows marched in. His eyes wandered over the boys – children – and for a moment something inside himself seemed to realise what was going on. A glimpse, a memory, a flash of something he could not understand, had crossed his mind. It was gone as the firing started, pulling him out of his thoughts and a moment later he had all but forgotten about it – and what was left seemed nothing more than an illusion, brought on by that surrealistic moment.

Finally, after what had seemed like an eternity, the firing ceased as all of the scarecrows lay on the floor, looking as dead and broken as they supposed to be, considering they really were scarecrows. The Headmaster walked over to them, picking up parts of them, looking at them in disbelief.

"They're straw. They're really straw," the Headmaster said and shot a quick look to Mira.

"Then no-one's dead, Sir?" Hutchinson asked. "We killed no one?"

But before the Headmaster could answer, all heads flung around. There were light steps on the gravel, someone was approaching. It was the little girl with her red balloon.

"You, child. Come out of the way," the Headmaster said and approached her. "Come into the school. You don't know who's out there. It's the Cartwright girl, isn't it? Come here. Come to me."

"Stay back!" Mira said, and suddenly she was at the Headmaster's side, together with Martha and Joan who came running out of the school.

"Quiet, woman!" the Headmaster yelled at her, letting slip for a moment just how on edge he was. "You were told to be quiet," he added, struggling for a more quiet, civilised tone.

"She's with them. Whoever this girl was is dead now!" Mira said, but he just shook his head.

"She's right, we saw it," Martha added. "Matron, tell him!"

"I think that," Joan said carefully. "I don't know. I think you should stay back, Headmaster."

They were right he thought, and suddenly a feeling of impending doom struck him. "She was," he said, "She was with, with Baines in the village."

"Mister Smith," the Headmaster said, "I've seen many strange sights this night, but there is no cause on God's Earth that would allow me to see this child in the field of battle, Sir. Come with me." He extended a hand towards the girl.

"You're funny," the girl said.

"That's right. Now take my hand."

"So funny," the girl said, produced a gun and vaporised the Headmaster. Just like that. "Now who's going to shoot me. Any of you, really?" she asked into the silence.

He saw how Mira raised her gun and before he knew what he was doing he found himself reaching for it. But he only managed to push her arm down again, not disarm her completely.

" Put down your guns!" he yelled, ignoring the disapproving look Mira gave him.

"But Sir, the Headmaster," Hutchinson protested.

"I'll not see this happen," he said, wondering where the sudden surge of courage was coming from. But it felt – right. "Not anymore. You will retreat in an orderly fashion back through the school. Hutchinson, lead the way."

"But Sir-"

"I said, lead the way!"

"Well, go on, then. Run!" Baines said and fired his gun into the air.


Martha

There were more scarecrows. She had no idea how they had managed that, or if it were still the same ones, raised from the dead again, but anyway – it dawned on her that they had lost. Where was Latimer? She cursed Mira – not for the first time – for trusting that boy with the watch.

"Let's go," the Doctor said as they had reached the stable block., "Quick as you can."

"Don't go to the village. It's not safe," she begged him.

"And you, ladies," he only replied.

"No," Joan said, "Not till we've got the boys out!"

"Now, I insist. The three of you, just go," he tried to rush them. "If there are any more boys inside, I'll find them."

"You're not staying here," Mira said and tried to grab his hand – but he was faster, jumped back and stared at her somewhat shocked.

"With all due respect, Miss, but just leave your hands off-," he started but Mira interrupted him.

"Oh, shut it! You have to get it, they're after you! This is not the time to play the he-"

Mira stopped as the Doctor slammed the door shut again he had just opened. There had been scarecrows on the other side.

"I think, retreat," the Doctor said.

They had just made it outside as Mira was heading for some bushes, waving at them to follow her. She followed her, hiding behind the branches, and then she could see it. They had the TARDIS. She had no idea how they had managed to bring it here, and now they were standing around it and Clarke was calling out, "Doctor! Doctor! Come back, Doctor. Come home. Come and claim your prize."

"Out you come, Doctor. There's a good boy. Come to the Family," Baines added.

"Time to end it now," Jenny fell in.

"You recognise it, don't you?"she said after she saw how the Doctor was staring at it.

"Come out, Doctor. Come to us!" Jenny yelled again.

"I've never seen it in my life," the Doctor replied, fear in his voice.

"Do you remember its name?" she tried it again, but he only shook his head, staring at the blue box.

"I'm sorry, John, but you wrote about it," Joan said. "The blue box. You dreamt of a blue box."

"The one woman you will always share your life with," Mira whispered. "Sorry Joan, but it will always be some sort of threesome with him." Then she turned to the Doctor and added, "And I think in your dreams you know she's so much more than just a blue box, don't you?"

She looked at Mira in confusion. What was she talking about? The TARDIS was a spaceship, and yes, sometimes men tended to speak of their cars and stuff as if they were alive – and often female, but nevertheless, it was just a spaceship, wasn't it? Although she had to admit the shocked look on Joan's face as Mira had said the word threesome had been hilarious.

"You're responsible for her," Mira addressed the Doctor again. "What do you think will happen to her without you?"

"I'm not. I'm John Smith," he stammered, tears streaming down his face. "That's all I want to be. John Smith, with his life, and his job, and his love. Why can't I be John Smith? Isn't he a good man?"

"Yes. Yes, he is," Joan hurried to say.

"Why can't I stay?"

"But we need the Doctor," she said, feeling like crying out of frustration.

"What am I, then? Nothing. I'm just a story," the Doctor replied and ran off. She hurried to follow him, Mira and Joan close behind her.

"'Wait!" she yelled, but he kept on running until they reached a country lane which looked remotely familiar to her.

"This way," Joan said, "I think I know somewhere we can hide."

"We've got to keep going," the Doctor said, ready to run ahead again.

"Just listen to me for once, John," Joan said, and indeed, he stood still and looked at her. "Now, follow me."


Mira

They finally reached a small, somewhat remote cottage.

"Oh, here we are. It should be empty," Joan said, breathing heavily. "Oh, it's a long time since I've run that far."

"Yeah, and the corset doesn't exactly help, does it?" she added, and the Doctor's and Joan's head flung around to her with a shocked look on their faces. "Sorry," she added nonchalantly, leaving no room for interpretation she wasn't sorry at all.

"But who lives here?" Martha asked.

"If I'm right, no one," Joan replied and opened the door. ""Hello? No one home. We should be safe here."

She followed her inside. It was dark, and the table was laid for tea.

"Whose house is it, though?" Martha asked.

"Er, the Cartwrights," Joan replied. "That little girl at the school, she's Lucy Cartwright, or she's taken Lucy Cartwright's form. If she came home this afternoon and if the parents tried to stop their little girl, then they were vanished." Joan touched the teapot and continued, "Stone cold. How easily I accept these ideas."

"Well," she said quietly, "There are those who accept those ideas, and those who just panic. But in general the human mind can accept quite a lot of things."

She looked up and for a moment she met Joan's eyes. As much as the nurse had annoyed her, she had to admit that she was keeping herself together really well right now.

"I must go to them, before anyone else dies," the Doctor said.

Seriously?

She turned around and saw how he took a few steps back as she approached him. Well, not that she needed to see that to know that he was afraid of her. As much as she hated to see him like that, hated to know that she scared him, it was probably not the worst of all things right now.

"You stay here," she said slowly in a low voice. "And if I have to lock the door and/or knock you out. You're not going anywhere as long as you're human, is that clear?"

"She's mad!" he yelled, staring at her out of wide eyes. "What is she talking about? Keep her away from me!"

"She's right, you can't," Joan said. "Martha, Mira, there must be something we can do!"

"Not without the watch," Martha said quietly, shooting a somewhat angry look to her.

"Hey, he will come!" she said to Martha, wishing she would really be that certain. Where the hell was Latimer?

"You're this Doctor's companion," he addressed Martha now. "And who is she?" he asked and pointed at her. "Why would he travel with someone who threatens him? Can't you help Martha? What exactly do you do for him? Why does he need you?" The last sentence he had yelled at her.

"Because he's lonely," Martha said after a moment of silence.

Wrong thing to say.

"And that's what you want me to become," he replied.

"Oh come on, he's not lonely," she replied, and his head flung around to her. "I know at least two people who deeply cared about him in the past, and I think there have been a lot more. He just- You like to believe you're lonely. It's a safe place for you, thinking that way, anticipating everyone will leave you in the end. But there's a difference between actually being lonely and the loneliness you put yourself in, but I also think you've just taken a huge step towards-"

She was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"What if it's them?" Joan whispered.

"I'm not an expert, but I don't think scarecrows knock," Martha whispered back.

"It's Latimer," she said and a wave of relieve rushed over her, making her knees feel weak.

"I brought you this," Latimer said and stepped in as Martha had opened the door, holding the watch in his hands.

"Hold it," Martha said to the Doctor, nodding at the watch.

"I won't!"

"Please, just hold it," Martha repeated.

"It told me to find you," Latimer added. "It wants to be held."

"You've had this watch all this time?" Joan asked. "Why didn't you return it?"

"Because it was waiting," Latimer said. "And because I was so scared of the Doctor."

"Why?" Joan asked.

Because he's the last of the most ancient and powerful species of this whole universe, she thought. He's older than he can even imagine and has seen beyond time itself. How can a little boy like him not be afraid? She remembered how she had felt, despite everything she had seen, everything she had been through in the centuries of her life, when she had been on the edge of his mind, the edge of his consciousness, afraid to step forward, afraid to jump, scared of what she might find, scared of getting lost. It had been a mistake to burden him with that watch, burden him with him the whole time. And yet he came back, finally.

"Because I've seen him," Latimer said quietly. "He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun."

"Stop it," the Doctor whispered, but Latimer ignored it.

"He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe."

"Stop it! I said stop it,"

"And he's wonderful."

There was a long moment of silence, until Joan showed him a small book. "I've still got this. The journal."

"Those are just stories," the Doctor said.

"Now we know that's not true," Joan replied. "Perhaps there's something in here."

Suddenly a big bang shook the cottage. The bang of an impact. The bang of impacting missiles.

"What the hell?" the Martha yelled.

They all hurried over to the window. It were missiles indeed, or whatever they used on their spaceship.

"That's their f- bloody spaceship. They're attacking the village," she said

"The watch," the Doctor said, grabbed it, and it was clear he had no intention to open it. He wanted to hand it over to the family.

"John, don't," Joan said.

Suddenly she could hear a voice in her head, whispering, tainting, longing. He must be able to hear it as well, she thought, judging from the look on his face.

Closer

"Can you hear it?" Latimer said.

Closer. Like he's asleep. Waiting to awaken.

"Why did he speak to me?" Latimer asked.

"Oh, low level telepathic field," the Doctor replied casually, for a moment sounding like himself again. "You were born with it. Just an extra synaptic engram causing-" Then he startled as if frightened about himself. "Is that how he talks?"

"That's him," she said. "Just open the watch. Please."

"You knew this all along and yet you watched while Nurse Redfern and I-" he said.

"I didn't know how to stop you," Martha replied whilst she was still searching for words. "He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn't included."

"Falling in love?" he replied, looking back and forth between her and Martha. "That didn't even occur to him?"

"No," Martha replied quietly.

"Then what sort of man is that? And now you expect me to die?" he yelled.

"Good God, he's not human!" she yelled back at him. "That's why it didn't occur to him. It did not occur to him that he could fall in love with another human here. That's not how he's thinking, and apart from that he-" she said but he cut her off.

"So love is not important to him? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"Oh, it is, but-"

"It was always going to end, though!" Martha interrupted her. "The Doctor said the Family's got a limited lifespan, and that's why they need to consume a Time Lord. Otherwise, three months and they die. Like mayflies, he said."

"So your job was to execute me," he said accusingly.

"People are dying out there," Martha said. "They need him and I need him. Because you've got no idea of what he's like. I've only just met him. It wasn't even that long ago. But he is everything. He's just everything to me and he doesn't even look at me, but I don't care, because I love him to bits. And I hope to God he won't remember me saying this."

"You know why he did this in the first place?" she fell in. She knew how close to the edge he was right now, and that there probably was nothing she could say to convince him, but she had to try it. "Because he's a good person. Despite all his flaws and everything. A much better person than I am in this case. He could have fought back, killed them a thousand times over. And yes, I would have done just that. They attacked us, and I always say whoever wants to live is free to just not attack me in the first place. But he chose not to. Instead he chose to hide. And you know what's probably the worst thing? I'm so blind and... and set in my ways by now that it needed Latimer, a little boy, to make me realise it. They only have spears. So he made his choice and he trusted us enough to care for him and to make him change back when everything is over – or when they would find us. So, you talk once more about being lonely now."

Another explosion sounded, making them all jump.

"It's getting closer," Latimer said.

"I should have thought of it before," the Doctor said, looking at the watch in his hands. "I can give them this. Just the watch. Then they can leave and I can stay as I am."

"You can't do that!" Martha yelled at him.

"If they want the Doctor, they can have him."

"He'll never let you do it," Martha replied.

"If they get what they want, then, then-"

"Then it all ends in destruction," Joan said, looking up from the journal. "I never read to the end, but those creatures would live forever to breed and conquer, for war across the stars for every child. Mira, Martha, Timothy, would you leave us alone, please?"

She looked at Joan and the Doctor for a moment, then she turned around and walked out, waving at Martha to follow her. If there was one person who could convince him now, than it was Joan, as much as she hated to admit it.

"So, now waiting is all we can do?" Martha asked, sitting on the bench in front of the house, next to Latimer.

"I'll go to them, try to convince them to stop their attack," she said, scratching her head, looking at the explosions over at the village.

"I'll come with you!" Martha said and jumped up.

"No. You stay here."

"But-"

"Martha," she said and took her hands, halfway expecting she would pull them away. But she didn't. "You really would come with me, would you?" It was not so much a question but speaking out the obvious, as she knew exactly how Martha was feeling right now. "You're scared to death yet you would come. I appreciate that, I really do. But you have to stay here, with him."

"But-"

"He's scared of me. I can't do any good here. Please, just not let him get away with the watch."

Martha stared at her for a moment longer, then she nodded. "Okay. But be careful!"

"I will," she replied, and they hugged each other, before she ran off towards the field with the spaceship.


Doctor

He heard Mira's voice as he entered the ship, begging and pleading to convince them to stop the bombardment. Martha had told him that Mira had gone here, and yet he had hoped she was wrong. Did she not know how dangerous this family was? She could have easily killed her. Oh, if they had so much as harmed a single hair on her head, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions.

"We'll blast them into dust, then fuse the dust into glass, then shatter them all over again," he heard the voice of the one who had once been Baines, a rather dislikeable human, but not even he did deserve that fate. But there had been a certain creativity in that sentence, he had to admit. Oh, but he could easily beat that if he had to.

"Just," he started just as a boom rocked the ship, giving him the perfect excuse to lurch against a column of switches. "Just stop the bombardment. That's all I'm asking. I'll do anything you want, just, just stop."

He really tried to keep himself under control, tried to calm the anger, the rage which was brooding inside him, boiling underneath the surface, ready to erupt. He had given them a fair chance, but they just couldn't stop. If they had touched her, then-

"Say please," Baines said, smiling viciously.

"Please," he said, trying to sound as his human self. Good grief, he only wished he couldn't remember everything so clearly. Then he saw Mira. She seemed to be unharmed, and for a moment their eyes met. There was a hint of a smile in her eyes before she cast them down again. So she knew he was no longer human.

"Wait a minute," Jenny said and sniffed. "Still human."

"Now I can't... I can't pretend to understand, not for a second," he stammered, "But I want you to know I'm innocent in all this. He made me John Smith. It's not like I had any control over it." He accidentally ran his hand over some more switches. The next - and last - lift off this ship would make would be in small pieces after he was done with it.

"He didn't just make himself human," Jenny replied. "He made himself an idiot."

"Same thing, isn't it?" Baines said.

"I don't care about this Doctor and your family," he continued. "I just want you to go. So I've made my choice. You can have him. Just take it, please! Take him away." He hold out the watch to Baines.

"Don't," Mira yelled. "You'll kill him!"

"At last," Baines said with a nasty smile and took the watch with one hand and his lapels by the other. "Don't think that saved your life," he said into his face, then pushed him away.

He took a small step to the side to fall just into the wall where the last switches were located he needed to flip to finally overload their antiquated reactor.

"Family of Mine, now we shall have the lives of a Time Lord," Baines said and opened the watch.

All four of them sniffed deeply, and it took them only a second to realise they had been framed.

"It's empty!" Baines yelled.

"Where's it gone?" he asked, tried to sound human and frightened once more.

"You tell me!" Baines replied and threw the watch to him.

He caught it without even looking at it. Piece of cake to calculate its trajectory and just extend his arm at the right moment. Oh, how he had missed that, now that he was thinking about the last weeks.

"Oh, I think the explanation might be you've been fooled by a simple olfactory misdirection," he said, now that there was no need to sound human anymore. "Little bit like ventriloquism of the nose. It's an elementary trick in certain parts of the galaxy." Then he turned to the machinery of the ship, knocked at it slightly and, seemingly without any reference to his previous sentences, he continued. "But it has got to be said, I don't like the looks of that hydroconometer. It seems to be indicating you've got energy feedback all the way through the retrostabilisers feeding back into the primary heat converters." He turned to them again and grinned. "Oh. Because if there's one thing you shouldn't have done, you shouldn't have let me press all those buttons." He walked over to Mira who was crouching next to a wall, extended his hand and helped her up, pulling her close to him. "But, in fairness, I will give you one word of advice. Run!"

...

Last night he had taken care of the family – after he had asked Mira to go back to the cottage to get Martha. He had been back before anyone had noticed he had been gone. That was the good thing about having a timeship. No need to tell them what he had done though – that was between him and the family alone. Suffice it to say, their final wish, an immortal life, had been granted. Now he was back at the cottage, trying to mend what little was left. And as much as he would have liked it, he could not just vanish this time. He still remembered everything, with a clarity that almost frightened him. He had been human through and through for those past days, and everything he had felt and experienced had been real. That he thought differently about it now and even could not quite understand it didn't invalidate it. He could not just leave here without a word of explanation. It would not be fair. Not after he had been human himself. It was so very different to live amongst them and understand them and to actually be human for a while.

"Is it done?" Joan asked as he entered, her back turned to him.

"It's done," he said, standing on the opposite side of the room.

"The police and the army are at the school. The parents have come to take the boys home. I should go. They'll have so many questions. I'm not sure what to say." Then she finally turned around. "Oh, you look the same. Goodness, you must forgive my rudeness. I find it difficult to look at you. Doctor, I must call you Doctor. Where is he? John Smith?"

"He's in here somewhere."

"Like a story. Could you change back?"

"Yes."

"Will you?"

"No."

"I see. Well, then. I think she's wrong then. Mira. Maybe you are a better person than she is. But better does not necessarily mean good. At least he was braver than you in the end, that ordinary man. You chose to change. He chose to die."

"That's not fair," he said quietly. "She did what she had to."

"Is that why you will not change back? You and her?"

He stared at her in surprise.

"So am I right ten?" she said. "I thought so. You fit together quite well, I think. You as you are now."

He could not help but recognise the bitterness in her voice.

"Joan, I'm sorry, I-" he started, walking towards her.

"You are sorry? Just answer me this then. Just one question, that's all. If the Doctor had never visited us, if he'd never chosen this place on a whim, would anybody here have died?"

He looked right into her eyes for a long moment, knowing exactly there was only one answer to this, and none that needed to be spoken out loud.

"You can go," she said quietly and turned around. "Live happy together with her then. I think the two of you are quite a match," she added. "Just never come back. We had enough death and destruction here."

...

Back at the field where the TARDIS was waiting he found Mira and Martha outside in the pouring rain. They had changed their clothes, just as he had. Mira was wearing her blue uniform jacket, just as if to demonstrate that their time here was over, to set herself apart from a time and place which both weren't hers. She was leaning against the TARDIS, her arms crossed, shooting him an inscrutable look out of the corners of her eyes. He knew – well, he hoped – she wasn't angry. A part of him understood on a purely logical level that she knew, as well as he did, that he could not really be hold responsible for what he had done as a human. She of all people must have known that he hadn't been himself. And in fact she did not look angry. Mainly exhausted, tired, and, above all, dripping wet. And cold. Why hadn't they waited inside? Humans, always freezing with their high body temperature and no control over their biology.

"Right then. Molto bene," he said and cracked a smile.

"How was she?" Martha asked.

"Time we moved on."

"If you want, I could go and-" Martha tried it again.

"Time we moved on."

"Er, I meant to say, back there, last night," Martha said, her eyes cast down. "I would have said anything to get you to change."

He had to think for a moment, but then it dawned on him. Oh well. He wished she hadn't brought it up again. His own behaviour, what Martha and Mira had said. "Oh yeah, of course you would. Yeah," he said and smiled.

"I mean, I wasn't really..."

"Oh, no, no," he said, shaking his head.

"Good," she replied and smiled at him.

"Fine," he added and then, "And I never said: Thanks for looking after me."

Just as he hugged her, Latimer came running towards them.

"Doctor!"

"Tim Timothy Timber," he said and went over to him. He hadn't expected to see him again.

"I just wanted to say goodbye," Latimer said. "And thank you. Because I've seen the future and I now know what must be done. It's coming, isn't it? The biggest war ever."

"You don't have to fight, you know? Sometimes running away actually is an option." Mira's voice came from behind, making him turn his head.

"You did fight, didn't you?" Latimer asked after looking her up and down. "You did not run."

"That's different," she replied, looking down.

"Could you have run?" he asked.

"Don't know. Maybe..."

"Then I don't think it's different," he said firmly.

"But you could get hurt," Martha threw in, sorrow in her voice.

"Well, so could you, travelling around with him, but it's not going to stop you," Latimer replied.

"Tim, I'd be honoured if you'd take this," he said and handed him the fob watch.

He took it and ran his fingers over the engraved surface. "I can't hear anything."

"No, it's just a watch now. But keep it with you, for good luck," he replied.

"Oh God dammit," Mira said, walked over to Latimer, hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Just take care, will you?"

Then she went into the TARDIS, followed by Martha after she had said goodbye to Tim as well.

"You'll like this bit," he said to Tim with a smile before he followed Martha, and a moment later the TARDIS started to dematerialise, and then vanished as if she had never been there.


A/n: Thanks to everyone for pointing out the issues with life/live and such. (got message as well about that) I basically know the difference (though I really struggle with safe/save sometimes), but I really have to be more careful again when editing. My bad. I'll try to not confuse those words in the future :-)

bored411, OneWhoReadsToMuch, StoryGirlWrites, miljamn, oXxgeorgiaxXo, E-man-dy-S, xXEndlessImaginationXx, frosty600: Thanks for leaving a review :-)