Diet Soda Society
"Between you and me, the psyche and the soma"
The war was over.
In the streets people were celebrating. Strangers were hugging each other, civilians were giving away things for free, and shinobi were streaming through the gates. The news came the same way it did when the war started. A messenger crow wearing a headband made out of white fabric swooped into the window.
"Villagers," he squawked. "A treaty's been signed. Spread the word. Konoha has peace. Spread the word."
The hours after that were a complete blur of complete and utter relief. I knew that every face I saw on the street would be there the next day. I knew that Isamu wouldn't get called out into the field at any moment's notice. I knew that Hiruzen would in all likelihood be home for dinner tomorrow night. It was wonderful. I felt like I had regained a shard a happiness that'd been lost the day Nawaki died. A shard that I never really expected to return.
So of course, that was cause to celebrate. The boys and I took to the streets without any particular destination in mind. We walked through the Sarutobi complex, stopping to talk to Asuma's relatives that we never really spoke to. Then to the shopping district where people were singing and dancing in storefronts. Isamu brought us to our favorite dango shop and treated us with money he'd saved from the months of D-rank missions his team had been plowing through.
Needless to say, the entire morning felt like a surreal dream. Before long though, I started itching to see the adults in my life. The crow may have announced the end of the war, but it wasn't going to feel legitimate until I had my arms wrapped around Biwako, Hiruzen, and Tsunade all at once. They were my people, and I wanted to physically see that they were safe.
Of course, Biwako and Hiruzen were locked up with work at the moment. Biwako had disappeared late the previous night to start a long hospital shift, while Hiruzen was off on Hokage business. And Tsunade. Well, lord knows where Tsunade was, or what sort of terrible emotional state she was in. If the war was over, that meant Dan Kato was dead. There was no doubt about it - she had to be a hot mess right now, wherever she was. Thinking about it made me anxious.
Thankfully, it didn't seem like we would be waiting too long. After getting Dango, we had gone over to a nearby park, where Asuma insisted on playing ninja games with us for a while. We were probably there until about two o'clock, hanging with some civilian kids when the foot traffic started gradually increasing. Isamu was the first to notice the sudden influx of people walking by.
"What's going on," he asked aloud, stopping our mundane play.
We halted for a heartbeat. Then another.
Then suddenly an excited teenager broke over towards the park. "The shinobi are at the gate! They've all come home at once! The entire main force!" he shouted at us before breaking back to the street.
I didn't even stop to think. The minute he'd said the words 'come home' it was like the rest of the world had faded out. "Tsunade-nee," I muttered. Then I broke into a sprint, following the flow of civilians heading towards the main entrance.
"Natsuki!" I heard Isamu call after me, but I was in the wind with absolutely no regard for my surrogate siblings. I knew they were okay. I needed to see Tsunade immediately.
For once, my small size was a blessing. The sea of legs flowing down the main road was like an elaborate obstacle course, but I wove around the adults with grace, making good use of my strong baby-ninja legs. Unfortunately, while I was navigating relatively well, the adults were obstructing my view. Once I'd lost sight of the park behind me, I quickly lost all sense of direction in the mob. I couldn't tell if we were heading in the right direction until - Bam!
I suddenly found myself stepping around the legs of a teary eyed woman in a flak jacket- pushing in the opposite direction of the crowd. Her headband shined in the sunlight, and I could almost feel her happiness reach me as she looked around for her own family. I smiled for a moment before I dived into the hoard of our returning soldiers. Tsunade had to be around here somewhere.
Suddenly, I had newfound sympathy for the person who first coined the phrase 'searching for a needle in a haystack'. Finding Tsunade in that crowd was impossible. I craned my neck upwards, trying to get a good look at ever face I walked by, but I was shooting blanks. I could barely glimpse half of them before they pushed forward and disappeared behind me, and I knew I was missing even more as they passed far to my left and right. I was too small and this street was too wide. Everyone was shouting a different name while shinobi and family alike all tried to make sense of the chaos.
I was starting to feel rather hopeless when a familiar pale figure flashed in the corner of my eye. Of course I'd have to find him first. At that point though, I was so desperate that it didn't even seem like madness when I started to chase him.
"Orochimaru-senpai!" I called out. His snake eyes lazily followed the sound of my voice, and let me tell you, he didn't seem very happy to see me
"Looking for Tsunade?" he deadpanned, when I caught up to him. I paused to take a look at him. Something was off- I can't say what, but the air about him was... different than it'd been before. I didn't like the way he'd asked if I was looking for Tsunade too. He should've been with her. Like it or not, she trusted him, and if Dan really had died, than she would need the emotional support.
"Yeah, is she with Jiraiya-senpai?" I blinked. That was a stupid question, but it had been the first thing that came to my mind. I knew that Jiraiya was probably still back in Ame training a trio of lost war orphans.
Orochimaru's eyes flashed at the sound of Jiraiya's name. In fact, for a moment, it looked like he might even have something snide to say about my question. He swallowed it though, and in an instant he wiped all emotion off of his face. Maybe I'd just imagined it. I never really talked much to Orochimaru- I avoided him when I could. Maybe he was just hard to read.
"She was in the back of the march, one of the little genin was following her around," he told me.
"Thank you," I nodded, ready to get away. Before I disappeared into the crowd though, his hand caught my arm. My heart skipped two beats for a second as I looked at Orochimaru in confusion. His lips were curved into an unhappy frown, and his creepy snake eyes felt like they were piercing through me. For the first time since I met him, I felt like he was actually looking at me, instead of just tolerating my presence as a byproduct of being near his sensei and teammate.
"A-are you okay Orochimaru-senpai?" I stuttered out.
"Your Tsunade... she's worked herself up into quite a state... perhaps you can fix her," he muttered. Then he released me. I backed away from him slowly, dissolving into the crowd and not looking back. That was more disturbing than anything I'd expected from him. If even Orochimaru was troubled about Tsunade's mental state, what did that mean? I knew she was going to be grieving when she got back, but I suppose that I had been so anxious to get back to the way things had been that I'd allowed my excitement to cloud myself from reality. Today's homecoming was probably about to take a very depressing turn
I found Tsunade exactly where Orochimaru had said she'd be - near the back of the shinobi force standing with a dark haired girl. The sight of her made my stomach clench. Orochimaru hadn't been exaggerating in the slightest. She looked like a ghost on her feet. Her clothes were torn and damaged, with old blood staines speckled all over the sleeves, and her eyes were empty and distant. The genin girl beside her also looked rather defeated, but she at least seemed to be taking in the homecoming atmosphere. She was talking quietly to Tsunade, who seemed to be ignoring her.
With a lump in my throat, I called out to her. "Tsunade-nee?"
Thankfully she did respond to that. Her head jerked over in my direction, and she took me in for a moment. Closing the gap between us, I threw myself at my cousin, forcing her to catch me.
"Hey kiddo," she greeted wearily. She sounded hoarse, like she'd been yelling a lot recently.
"I missed you," I told her. "They've been making me pick flowers at the Academy, and nobody would side with me and tell them how stupid it is."
That actually got a bark of a laugh out of her. Though, when I looked up again, I saw that she was crying. Shifting me so that I was resting on one of her hips, she turned towards the genin girl who she'd been standing with. "Natsuki-chan, this is Shizune," she said.
Ah, well I guess that made sense. Shizune must've found Tsunade some point after her Uncle's death. Good. Somebody needed to look out for my cousin, and I knew that Shizune was going to do well by her. "Hi Shizune-senpai, it's nice to meet you" I nodded with the friendliest smile I could muster. This girl might not know it yet, but I intended us to become great friends.
"Oh, um, it's good to meet you too," Shizune replied, giving me a slight bow.
Good, now that introductions were over, it was time to start fixing her up. She looked like she needed a change of clothes, a bath, probably a fair amount of sleep, and most importantly, lot's of time with family. By which I meant lots of time with me. I wanted to make sure that she felt loved and taken care of. Of course, to the outside world, I was still only five years old, so I had some limitations. I knew what it was like to loose everything though. She would have to feel the grief, but maybe I could lessen the loneliness.
First things first , I needed to get Tsunade out of this crowd.
"Nee-chan, you smell like sweat, and you've got dirt all over," I told her, touching a tear that was rolling down her cheek.
"There was a war," Tsunade rolled her eyes.
"We can go to the bath house," I declared. "And you can change out of your gross ninja gear and buy me dinner! I'll tell you all about my lessons at the Academy. It'll be just like before... Okay?"
She looked at me wearily, like the effort of the afternoon might actually drown her. Was I going too far? Maybe she really did just need to rest.
"Alright," she nodded. "Just like before."
"Shizune-senpai you'll come too yeah?" I grinned. Shizune blinked, apparently surprised. She'd been twiddling her thumbs during our happy little reunion, looking a little sad and lost. I wondered vaguely if she'd lost everyone as well. She must've if she had been willing to leave the village to follow Tsunade around for twenty odd years. Yeah, she was definitely going to be invited to everything from now on.
"Of course, I'd be glad," she smiled.
And so life rolled on. That evening was as nice as I could make it. We hit everything on our agenda. We swung by Tsunade's house first to pick up some clothes, then Shizune's to pick up some for her as well. Then we went to the bath house, which was actually very crowded that evening. We soaked there for along time, while I rattled on and on about the Academy work and the friends I'd been making. And then we wrapped the evening up with dinner at a small restaurant down the street.
It should have been perfect. I'd been dreaming about the end of the war for so long. This evening was supposed to mark a return to normal. A return to bliss, really. It didn't take long for me to notice how horribly off Tsunade really was feeling. She had put on a happy face for me when I'd first found her, but she couldn't retain it for long. I quickly found that I was talking more to Shizune - who really did seem starved for company-than I was to Tsunade. My cousin was zoning out of our conversation, getting lost in some dark corner of her mind. When she thought nobody was looking, she'd idly start rubbing the back of her hands, like there was something stained on them
By the end of the night, my stomach was in knots. I didn't know how to make this better.
"Are you going to go back to the hospital tomorrow nee-chan," I asked eventually. I was loosing steam at this point. It was hard being so peppy and optimistic when my company wasn't in the mood.
Tsunade visibly flinched at the question.
"I think I'm going to be off duty for a little while," she muttered. "I... I'm telling sensei that I need a vacation."
"Oh, okay," I nodded quietly. "Maybe you can start picking me up from school then."
"Maybe kiddo," Tsunade shrugged.
And that was that. The following week was not the change that I wanted it to be. Tsunade didn't go back to work, and because she didn't go back, Biwako had to stay. Hiruzen was busier than ever as well, working to transition the village out of war time operations. The celebratory mood that had permeated through the village only lasted until the first funeral. People had been so busy the past few years just staying alive, they hadn't had a chance to think, and now that it was over, things were hitting them all at once.
Plus, as if the entire world was just trying to smite me, school took a turn as well. See, we had a final war casualty count now. Forces were depleted, and they were in dire need of more ninja. Someone made an executive decision that they should accelerate our classes. Chakra training was going to start early.
Of course, this was exciting when Jin-sensei first announced it to us. I swear, I've never seen Asuma look so engaged in my life.
"We're going to learn jutsu today!" he bubbled next to me.
"Pay attention Asuma," Jin-sensei chastised him. We were circled around her in the grass on the Academy yard. Nothing was going to get past her today.
Asuma, of course didn't seem to have heard her. He was just as jittery as he had been a moment before. I guess I could sympathize with him today though. This was going to be the beginning. Today we'd start with some easy E-rank jutsu. Who knew what I'd be learning tomorrow. This was literally everything I'd been waiting for since I'd woken up in this world.
Hell yeah. Bring on the superpowers.
"We've talked a lot about chakra theory the past few months," Jin-sensei was explaining. "Today is going to be about taking that theory and making it real. Since most of you probably have never used your chakra before, this is going to be hard. Right now your chakra network is basically asleep. You're going to have to wake it up and learn to be in tune with it for jutsu. Now I want everybody to spread out. There should be at least two arm lengths between each of you in every direction."
We did as we were told, and I found myself bobbing on my feet with a civilian boy named Kumade on my left and Asuma on my right. My other classmates were fanned out behind me, filling the air with a low excited chatter.
"Great, we're going to start with the transformation jutsu. This is one of the trickiest E-rank jutsu to pull of perfectly; however, usually something will happen as long as you've tapped into your chakra network. That makes it a great jutsu to start with because it'll be easy tell you what you're doing wrong," Jin-sense went on. "Who can tell me the seals that we use for the transformation jutsu?... Yes Rin?"
"Dog, boar, ram," Rin answered happily.
"Yes good. Now everyone demonstrate that for me," Jin-sensei nodded. I formed the seals with my hands, as instructed. My fingers always felt clumsy when doing sign exercises. Thankfully, this wasn't going to be a game of speed, and the three seals for this jutsu were relatively simple.
I could get this with the right amount of time and effort.
"Great, now the thing about the transformation jutsu is that you have to output chakra constantly to maintain it. If you can't do that right now, don't worry. Just try and get the transformation done for a few seconds to get a feel for your chakra" Jin-sensei continued. "The trick to this jutsu is taking the energy that you have stored here and covering your body with it. Each seal you make represents one step in this process. With the dog seal, gather it in your stomach. With the boar seal push it outward and coat your body with it. Then with the Ram seal, release it quickly and activate the jutsu. Try and imagine the person you're transforming into when you activate it, and for now that should get you close. I can't give you much instruction beyond that. Again, remember that chakra is your own inside energy. It's up to you to figure out how to manipulate it - I can only give you exercises to help after we see what sort of trouble your having. Please begin whenever you're ready. Try and transform into me."
Alright, here we go. This was going to be as simple as following a list of instructions. Closing my eyes, I wove my fingers into the dog seal, imagining my energy balling in my stomach just like she said. Then with the boar seal, thinking of it coating my entire body. When I thought that I must've gotten it, I quickly moved to the ram sign. And BAM!
...Nothing. I opened one eye to confirm. Yeah, that's right. Absolutely nothing had happened.
Next to me there was a popping noise, as Asuma briefly turned into a purple haired womanoid before his jutsu attempt dissipated.
"Woah, Nat, did you see that? Did it work?" he squealed, looking at his hands with amazement.
"Yeah I saw- I think you need to work on coating yourself better," I critiqued absently. Behind us, other kids were also popping into different contorted versions of our sensei. Kurenai had had managed to summon a large amount of smoke, covering whatever image she'd achieved too long for us to see how successful she was. Obito had released so much chakra that he'd knocked himself over and smelled almost singed.
Hm, maybe I just needed to try again.
Running through the hand seals a second time, I tried concentrating a little harder. Dog... boar... ram!
There was a pop this time, and for a moment, I thought I'd done it, but no. The noise had come from Kumade on my left, who'd managed to make himself adult height without actually changing his clothing or face. I was still my tiny five-year old self - no chunin jacket, no purple hair. Nothing.
By now, enough of the other kids were having results that it'd started to become noticeable that I was having trouble. Asuma, who'd managed three very different spectacular jutsu failures, glanced over at me looking confused. "Nat have you tried it yet?" he asked.
"Nothing's happening," I told him. I went through the hand signs a third time for his benefit. My stomach sank when once again, there was no reaction.
"Oh, um, maybe you just have to-" Asuma began. He was interrupted by a fair amount of commotion coming from the back of the group. I looked over my shoulder to see Jin-sensei standing between Kurenai and Obito. Of course it wasn't the real Jin-sensei. She was hadn't moved from her spot at the head of our group since class began. The copy exactly identical though, down to the freckles on her nose. What's more, as the seconds ticked by, she didn't disappear. She just stood there with her arms crossed, looking incredibly bored.
"Well done Kakashi," the real Jin-sensei clapped. "Has your father taught you how to do this before, or was it your first time?"
"My first time," the Kakashi-Jin-sensei replied with a shrug. Then with a poof he returned to his small self. Somehow the kid managed to look both aloof and smug at the same exact time. Geez.
"Maybe if his dad was that good the war would've been over moths ago," Kumade muttered under his breath. Hm? Kumade was shooting Kakashi a maliciously jealous look. It was pretty alarming actually. At least I seemed to be the only one who'd heard him muttering. I can't imagine Kakashi would appreciate the snide comments. Come to think of it though, this wasn't the first time I'd heard kids talking behind his back like this. They'd been bothering him ever since we enrolled- always talking about his father and the war. That wasn't right. Kakashi might have been a genius, but he was still a five year old kid. He was going to have enough shit happen to him, his peers didn't need to be making it worse.
Well, at least Jin-sensei was doing something for his self-esteem. She was still practically beaming at his success.
"Excellent," Jin-sensei nodded looking at him with wonder. "Well why don't you go join Guy on the playground for the hour then." He nodded strolling away from us.
When I turned my attention away from him and back to our class, I found there had been a dynamic change. Suddenly, it seemed the competition was on. Nobody wanted to be shown up by the youngest kid in the class. Me included. Of course, most of us were used to missing out on the first place spot by now, but still. If he could get the jutsu in one try, why not me? What made him so special?
Twenty minutes later though, I still hadn't managed to do literally anything. Finally, Jin-sensei noticed, as she walked over to check what was up.
"Having trouble Natsuki?" she frowned at me.
"It's not working," I told her, trying not to sound half as frustrated as I felt.
Jin-sensei crossed her arms. "I can see that. I don't think you're accessing your chakra at all. If you were, something would be happening, even if it wasn't enough," she speculated. "Can you feel it doing anything when you're making the hand signs?"
I closed my eyes and searched for my chakra, trying to 'feel' it as she said. But, honestly, I didn't think anything was there. I mean, I'd lived an entire lifetime without chakra. My new body was very different than my old one, but I'd never noticed a mysterious energy in my stomach. I just felt normal- like me as always. I guess I'd just assumed that chakra was a thing that would happen for me later. But Jin-sensei was right. I should've 'felt' something by now. All the other kids seemed to know what she was talking about after all.
"I don't know. I don't feel any different than I did this morning" I said. Jin-sensei didn't seem pleased with that answer.
"Well you passed your Academy Entrance exam. That means that you should be able to do this," she frowned. "You must not be very in tune with your energy."
"How do I fix that?" I asked.
"It's hard to say. You're younger than most of your peers. That could be it too. Maybe you just weren't ready to work with your chakra at all yet. Everyone's different though, so this activity just might not have been a good learning exercise for you," she explained. She was staring at me like I was some sort of weirdly shaped puzzle. It wasn't very encouraging. "Try sitting down in a meditation pose. Spend a lot of extra time with the dog seal gathering your chakra here. Don't move onto the boar seal unless you really thing you can feel it. If you don't figure it out by the end of the day, I'll try and think of something different you can try. Okay?"
I nodded, though I was grossly unsatisfied with her solution.
The lesson ended that day, and I still hadn't been able to achieve a single thing. It was awfully disappointing. I wanted to be ninja! But after today, I was suddenly questioning whether there was something wrong with me again. Was it because of more reincarnation bullshit? Did I have some sort of rare anti-chakra disease that didn't show up on the entrance exam? I don't know. Maybe I was just being melodramatic. Kakashi was really the only other kid who'd been able to do the jutsu successfully. It's just that I was the only one who wasn't able to do anything at all.
It sucked.
But yeah. That's where I was in life now. Tsunade was back, but she wasn't happy. I'd finally gotten to try out a jutsu, and learned that I was no good at it. Just great. Nothing was ever easy was it?
Arc Title and Chapter quote from song Diet Soda Society by The Maine
A/N So yeah, another very very long update time. But I'm here now! Hopefully you like this chapter. I had some writers block trying to get it onto paper, and it's actually missing a scene that I wanted in here. Guess that'll go in next chapter instead though, 'cause I figured y'all would prefer an update sooner rather than later.
Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, as always.
Some random things that people seemed to be concerned about:
1) Natsuki won't be replacing Rin on Kakashi and Obito's team (or be on a genin team with any of these three). Sorry to anyone who was hoping for that, but I'm taking this story elsewhere. That being said, of course Obito, Kakashi and Rin will remain important characters to the story. They're very central to the Naruto plot and some of Natsuki's more talented peers. They'll matter, just maybe not in the way you'd usually expect them to with some SI's
2) Natsuki WILL be changing cannon. She's just trying to be subtle right now because Hiruzen, Biwako, Isamu, Asuma, and Tsunade are her priority. She wants to ensure they won't die, and in order to do that, she has to make sure she doesn't WILDLY change cannon to the point that she has no control. It's a balance, yeah? So she's trying to only change things that will directly mean that her loved ones will be safe. Is that selfish? Maybe. Interpret it as you will.
Alright, I think that covers everything. Remember to leave a review (and hopefully school slows down enough that the next one will come sooner)
Until next time,
Aule
