I used to be innocent-well, as innocent as the son of a crack whore can be-but I was abused at a young age by an older woman my lovely wife Ana likes to call Mrs. Robinson.

"Christian, come here," she ordered the first time she seduced me.

I was young and afraid, so I stayed where I was. Mrs. Robinson, on the other hand, took off all her clothes and lay herself naked on the bed, her legs spread in front of me.

"There is nothing to be afraid of," she told me, putting two fingers on either side of her womanhood and spreading herself open. "See? No teeth."

I looked.

I couldn't help myself.

"Of course there aren't any teeth," I naively observed. "Look at the shape your gums are in!"