A/N – I apologize for the extra wait time on this, but this chapter got waaay longer than originally planned; like double the size.

This chapter begins with a POV switch. The idea to give some insight for Rey was a last minute decision and was the deciding factor to split this from the last chapter since it simply got way too long. Let me know your thoughts on how Rey's characterization feels. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 7 – Of Doubt and Dancing

*Rey*

Ben hadn't been exaggerating when he had claimed how boring his mother's meetings would be. Rey fought against the desire to yawn as yet another Senator began drabbling about their systems problems. We all have problems, Rey wanted to counter grumpily. She supposed, however, that the experience made her appreciate life at the Academy. And yet, even that seemed to be ending.

Rey straightened her posture as a wave of uncertainty tried slumping her shoulders. For so long she fought against the ridiculous posturing of the Jedi after a brief yet feral beginning on Jakku. She only wished that she could grasp the memories prior to her abandonment on the desert planet. The faces of her mother and father were all that her memory would allow of the pair before having found herself in the tight grasp of Unkar Plutt.

Rey's face scrunched on its own accord at the thought of the fowl being. He had stunk, among many other things, but most of all he had terrified the little five-year old. The Crolute would wield countless threats of breaking her parent's pact if she proved to be weak in his 'army' of scavengers, usually consisting of selling her to even more unsavory characters. However, in the end his threats did not matter.

Rey could not help but smile as she recalled that day; the day a tall intruder barged into her pathetic home. At first, she had been terrified of the dark-haired boy. Certain that he was there to claim her findings as his own and dispatch anyone who dared to stand in his way. And then, he hadn't. Instead he had offered his kind hand and pulled her from the dark crevices of the old AT-AT. No matter how many times Ben forgot himself, no matter how many times his irritable temper got the best of him, he would always be her savior.

Ben. Rey sighed, threatening her foolish heart from tumbling as the name crossed her outburst the night before had set her on edge, casting a shadow upon the bright little family. Rey had seen him angry; she could see his fists clench no matter how good he got at masking the dark emotions. They had happened more frequently over the past few years, but she had never seen him that mad. He had left the table in a rage, leaving her to watch his mother crumble into tears. Leia, General Leia Organa. The Legend of all her favorite stories, the woman who had braved so many feats, had cried in front of her. Really cried.

The terrible sight of his broken family had nearly been enough to put tears in her own eyes. Han had held her through it and Chewie offered words of praise in a folly attempt to uplift the General. And Rey, had just stood there.

The scavenger had never felt so conflicted, with too much pain erupting from her chest. There was a terrible sensation of being torn in two as she felt not only the tension in the room, but also from the agony pouring from the lonely man in the forest; a man without a pair of arms to warm him nor a set of lips to whisper kind words in his ear. He had been alone, and oh how he had felt it.

Ben had been easy to find. Somehow, there was always something tugging her towards him. Even as a child she had felt it, though only recently had it begun to spiral out of control. It felt as if there was a switch in the back of her head, constantly begging to be flipped. Only, she did not know how nor if it was wise to try. She used to believe it was simply the way of the bond between a Master and their Padawan, but after years of sharing Ben's emotions she knew it was something else; something forbidden. There were so many times that Rey wondered if she should ask about the unique pull, about the way she seemed to know exactly when he needed her. However, there was always the fear that it had to do with the stupid childish affection that refused to fade. Discussing the strange connection was out of the question.

For many years Rey had looked proudly to her master. She was quick to silence anyone dumb enough to speak poorly of him with a little fist to their faces. It had gotten her extra meditation hours more than once as a child, but she had never regretted fighting for the boy who had saved her from the lonely desert.

Her fascination had only grown when he accepted her into his family, when he introduced her to the great Han Solo and Leia Organa. There were no doubt stars in her eyes that first time he had brough her home, but their greatest gift was always saving her a seat at the table. Family. Oh how she had always craved it, and Ben had practically given her one. How easy it had been for her heart to be fooled.

Rey couldn't remember the exact moment her affections changed; from mere childish admiration to an emotion she didn't dare name. She only knew that the switch had caused pain, so much pain. It began with fleeting thoughts here and there; of simple musings over how wonderfully his dark hair contrasted his fair skin, or how mature the short beard at his chin seemed to make him. Ever so slowly, the daft emotions began to toy with her logic. Soon enough a simple brush of the shoulder had begun sending her heart racing and seeing him wear a genuine smile would release butterflies in her stomach. After their confrontation with Snoke, it only became worst. The more that he tried to distance himself, the harder she tried to perfect her faults.

Rey remembered how hard she worked after returning from their battle with Snoke. Ben had changed, regardless of his own doubt. She had disappointed him. There were so many nights she spent late in the temple, building her body until she could pass as a woman; to be seen as more than a foolish teen conned into running straight into trouble. She perfected everything: her temper, her posture, her silly desires to poke fun in every lesson. She even stupidly began wearing a smidge of make-up here and there, all in the hopes that he might notice; that he would see her as more than that fragile little desert girl. Oh how she had longed for the day that he would see her as an equal. For the day that he might see her worthy enough to…

No! Her mind growled. This was not the time for girlish fantasies. Ben was a traditional Jedi. He was always challenging Master Luke and reminding the older master that 'it was not the way of the old Jedi'. She had pieced the truth together long ago; he wouldn't want her. She had to remind herself countless times, he wouldn't want anyone. It was the true Jedi way to be free of attachments. Master Luke would always refute his nephew, becoming lapsed in the old teachings and allowing his students to form relationships if they so desired. Ben, however, had never seemed interested. Instead, he would bury himself in his studies and throw himself at a training dummy until his knuckles bled. Even if Ben desired anything different, there was a long list of far more suitable partners than some scrawny desert girl. And yet, despite all the signs to fuel the obvious logic, her heart flickered with pointless hope. After last night, her stupid thoughts were out of control.

Rey could hardly sleep the night before, if she had slept at all. Not with the scent of his blankets wrapped around her torso. Certainly not while her mind replayed the memory of his gentle kiss at her palm. She had no choice but to pull him into her arms, lest she try to claim a kiss of her own. That was a rejection waiting to happen. What would he think if he knew just how much she enjoyed having him rest against her neck? His warm breath at her skin had only added fuel to her burning heart, sending her thoughts to a place that bordered being sinful. She had rushed him out of her arms and back to the house; hoping to bring a swift end to the family's drama and to banish the budding emotions with proper meditation. But then, he went ahead and offered his room. How was she to get him out of her head with his scent lingering in every inch of his quarters?

"Keep your comms on you at all times, be prepared for anything," a man ordered above the crowds; snapping her from her thoughts. A surge of excitement flowed through her, was the meeting finished? Sure enough, the crowd began to disperse and Leia started to gather her things. Rey tried to contain her eagerness as she helped to haul one of the General's bags over her shoulder. Then the man who had spoken last stopped before them. "General Organa."

"What is it Commander Dameron?" Leia nodded to the man.

"I have a new batch of recruits coming in tonight, I would ask that you reconsider allowing the party to go on?"

"I have already said my peace, the other Senators won't have it." Leia almost appeared annoyed. "Of all people in the rebellion, I would have thought you'd enjoy a night off."

"This isn't the time for a premature celebration," the Commander groaned. "I will be all for it once the enemy is defeated."

"You're barking to the wrong person, Poe, I have no power over the Senators. And it's not a celebration, it's a chance to enjoy yourselves before putting your life on the line," Leia tried to sound optimistic. Rey swallowed nervously, narrowing her eyes at the man for chastising his General. Ever since the night before she felt a shift in the woman. Ben's outburst had gotten to her. Rey was almost certain that Leia would be agreeing with this man, if the weight of her son's fears had not fallen upon her shoulders. The General finally smiled and reached out to place a hand on Poe's shoulder. "Go visit your family. Enjoy this night of peace. Who knows how many we have left."

Poe sighed and Rey could tell that he was not moved by her speech. Then his eyes fell on her. "Whose this?"

"This is Rey," Leia answered for her. "She is a close friend of my son's."

"Hi, I'm Poe," the man smiled before reaching out a hand. Rey hesitated, confused by Leia's glare before she finally shook it.

"Hello," Rey replied.

"Will you be there tonight?"

Rey wasn't sure she liked the strange way that Poe smiled.

"Don't even think about it, Dameron." Leia threatened, but for what she did not know. Poe simply chuckled before nodding one last time and bidding goodbye. "Come on, Rey. We ought to get back to the house and make sure Han hasn't killed my son."

"What?" Rey startled, but Leia only chuckled.

"My husband is many things, but responsible is not a word I would use to describe him. Once, when Ben was only three years old, he thought it was a good idea to let him shoot a blaster," Leia appeared to groan at the memory. "He was confused as to why I nearly rang his neck."

Rey couldn't help but smile, enjoying every tale of motherhood that the woman had to offer. She only wondered what stories her own parents would have.

"I wonder if my own father had been just as reckless." Her heart dipped, knowing that she would never know. When her senses returned, she flushed red. "I'm sorry, that was improper."

"Improper? What is my brother teaching you?" Leia chuckled. "You are welcome to speak your mind, Rey. There is no shame in it."

Rey nodded, but could not resist hiding her stare into the ground. She had only been away from the Academy for a day and already it felt as if she had lost years of etiquette. They walked in silence for a few moments before Leia began sniffing loudly beside her.

"Do you smell that?" She asked. Rey took a deep breath and scrunched her nose as the scent of smoke filled her nostrils. Leia continued her quest to find the source as they rounded the corner. "It smells like… What have you two gotten into?!"

Rey almost walked right into the General as her gaze fell to the large pile of rubble in the middle of their yard. She had to stifle a laugh when she came across the two men watching the last flames burn out. When their gazes turned to Leia, both sets of eyes widened in obvious guilt.

"Hey sweetheart," Han tried to smile. "You're home early."

"What is this?!" Leia gestured to the rubble.

"Well, you remember that old speeder you've been asking me to get rid of?" The man stated as if the answer were obvious. "It's gone."

"I said get rid of it! Not burn down our house!"

"Don't be dramatic," Han rolled his eyes before clasping his son's shoulder. "We had it under control."

"I leave the house for three hours…" Leia grumbled before pulling her husband aside to endure more hushed arguments. Ben took the chance to escape the pair, making his way to her side.

"Have fun?"

"Not really," Rey shrugged with a smile. "Looks like you did though."

Ben merely smirked, allowing his eyes to fall upon the rubble once more. His light skin was darkened by soot.

"You have ash on your face," she pointed with a chuckle.

"We were sighting in some old blasters." He spoke softly enough to ensure the words did not reach his mother. "I bet my dad that he couldn't hit the gas tank."

Rey's eyes widened with shock. "You caused this?"

"In my defense, I didn't think he'd actually do it." Ben shrugged. "Now I owe him a hundred credits."

"You are insane, Ben Solo," Rey barely managed to hold her laugh. In a rare sight to behold, Ben shared in her pleasant struggle.

"Insane?" His brow rose in mock offense. "I don't think anyone has made that claim before."

"Maybe not to your face," she joked. Ben released a huff of breath while resisting a smile.

"What did they discuss?" He asked.

"I didn't understand most of it. They talk like their reciting some ancient textbook," Rey grumbled.

Ben nodded with a scoff. "The Senators like to remind the common folk that they are educated."

"Your mom doesn't," she argued.

"She used to," Ben smiled. "I think spending so much time with my father has made her…"

"Do not call her dumb," Rey threatened.

"I was going to say humble," Ben cast an offended glance. "You think I would say that about my mother?"

"You're not exactly one to keep harsh opinions to yourself," she defended. "How many times have you called Master Luke a 'damned fool?'"

"That's my way of helping him stay humble," he smirked again before glancing towards his mother. "So, you gathered nothing from the meeting then?"

"Mostly concerns over resources being short in certain systems," she shrugged. "Oh, and there's some party going on tonight."

"Party?" He scoffed. "I guess an eve of war makes sense to break out the spice."

"Spice? Not very Jedi-like to indulge yourself in such things," she scolded playfully.

"You heard my mother," he chuckled without humor. "The Academy is dead. I am no Jedi."

"Master Luke said it will reopen once the war is over," Rey reminded. Ben however, never smiled.

"Whatever happens, I think this is my avenue out of a life I had been forced into as a child."

"What?"

"I can get a bigger ship," he shrugged so casually. "Finally become a pilot. You know, if I even make it through."

Several seconds passed that she stood, staring in disbelief.

"What are you saying, Ben?" She whispered.

"I'm not going back," he answered again. His calmness only sparked her rage.

"You can't just leave the Jedi Order!" She exclaimed.

"Why not?"

The question hit her like a slap. Even worst however, was the continued expression of ignorance upon his face. The concept of parting didn't even trouble the man; her savior. You can't just leave me!

His head tilted, as if he had somehow grasped a hint of the sting in her chest. By the time his lips parted to speak, Leia had beckoned her forward.

"Come with me, Rey. We have a lot to do." Leia shouted behind her shoulder while walking towards the house. Rey quickly turned away, certain her eyes would expose her heart.

"I guess I'll talk to you later." She tried to avoid sounding disappointed, but knew it was pointless given the expression on his face. Hiding her face into the ground, she began jogging towards the General.


Rey's fingers began to grow sore as she sorted through an array of papers for Leia. After an hour passed, she was almost regretful that she had freely offered her help. She wanted to sprint a mile or grab Ben and force him to spar with her. Not to mention the concept of hitting him seemed far to appealing in that moment. Sitting and mulling on her thoughts was driving her crazy.

It was all so foolish to feel disappointed. Allowing herself to hope had been stupid enough on its own, she had known that from the start. And yet, she had watched him unleash fury at the thought of losing her in the coming fight. He had welcomed her into his family. She could have sworn there was a bit of sorrow in his eyes when he so stupidly assumed her relationship with Finn had blossomed past mere friendship. And in the end, he wanted nothing more than to move on with his life and leave her well behind.

"Red or blue?" Leia called from the other room. Rey wiped her eyes quickly and scrunched her brow in confusion. When no one else responded she realized it was only her left in the house. Clearing her throat, she hoped her voice would be void of the sorrows trying to strangle her.

"Sorry?"

"Which color do you prefer?" She called again.

"Um, blue I guess," Rey answered. A moment later, Leia walked into the room with a handful of dark blue fabric. It took another moment to realize that it was a dress.

"Good choice," the General smiled before holding up the dress; gazing upon it nostalgically. "My mother had given this to me shortly before… before Alderaan's fall. I was much skinnier back then."

She chuckled while clipping the clothing to a door. Leia walked a few steps before her eyes fell to a portrait nearby.

"Is that your mother?" Rey asked when the silence grew uncomfortable. Rising to her feet, she walked joyfully at the chance for a break.

"Yes. Well, my adopted mother I suppose."

"What does it say?" Rey squinted once she was near. Beneath the portrait of a man and woman was an inscription in a language she had never seen before.

"Bail and Breha Organa, King and Queen of Alderaan. My adopted parents." Leia answered proudly. "She was as beloved as any leader could ever dream to be."

Rey smiled and nodded in typical fashion, before the term truly reached her senses.

"Queen?" Rey's eyes widened. "So, so you… You mean… You're a princess?"

Leia chuckled nervously, as if the title had struck a nerve.

"I don't usually associate myself with that term anymore, but yes, there was a time when I was royalty."

"So, does that make Ben," she stopped herself from blurting the term. Her face flushed crimson as once again she was reminded just how out of reach the man truly was. All those years of bickering playfully with her master, of landing cheap blows just to earn a pointless victory. All along she had been disrespecting a prince. Leia, on the other hand, could hardly contain her laughter.

"Please inform me first if you ever plan to call my son royalty. I imagine his reaction will be priceless," she smiled.

"I thought they were only in fairy tales," she mused aloud. Jakku had not been a planet to house royalty, and Master Luke's temple had been no different.

"It's not as glamorous as it sounds," Leia assured as her amusement faded. "Princess is just a fancy word for a senator. Now where is, ah, here is a picture of my birth mother."

Leia reached for another frame, blowing a bit of dust from the edges before handing it to Rey. The scavenger's eyes glossed over the picture but had to remember to force her lips closed as amazement flooded her senses. Now she was a queen.

"She's gorgeous," Rey whispered.

"She was," Leia agreed sadly. "I wish I could have gotten to know her."

"What about your father?" The words flowed so freely. It wasn't until seeing Leia's flinch that she realized her error. Stupid, oh so stupid. She glanced to the woman, pouring everything into her apology. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Leia sighed. "My brother forgave him so easily, but I… well, let's just say I'm not made for the Jedi life of wisdom."

"I think you're very wise," Rey assured.

"You are kind," she smiled. "My father put my family through great pain. There was a time I thought I had finally forgiven him, but then Ben came. He was still in my womb when I had a vision of him…"

Leia paused with tears building upon her lids. Whatever she had intended to say retreated into her throat.

"I couldn't help but blame my father for the darkness I had seen. I never realized that it would be me that would cause him so much pain," she choked and Rey feared that she was doomed to repeat the events from the night before.

"Ben loves you," she assured. "He's just not good at saying it."

Leia, at least, stifled a chuckle.

"It seems to run in the family," the woman sighed. Rey reached for her hand and clasped it within her own. It was what some of the other Padawans would do to comfort someone in pain, but she began to worry that she had overstepped when the General flinched. However, a moment later her fears vanished as her own hand moved to cup the back of hers. "Thank you, sweetheart. Now come on, this is supposed to be a happy day. It's your turn to have the fresher, I'll find you some shoes while you bathe."

"Shoes? What's wrong with mine?" Rey glanced at her comfortable boots. They weren't new, but they were far from being soiled.

"You can't wear them to a party," Leia merely chuckled before grasping the dress once more. Rey stared in confusion as the beautiful fabric was placed into her arms, before her eyes widened in terror.

"Wait, I-I can't…I've never…"

"Come on child, into the fresher."


*Ben*

Ben scowled as he pushed through the crowd. Stopping himself more than once from exclaiming how foolish it was to host such an event so close to chaos erupting. Loud music and laughter refused him the opportunity to think and a woman already drunk off wine bumped against his shoulder. Withholding a groan, Ben quickly scurried for room to breathe.

He scanned the large gathering, looking for any sign of a familiar face. Finally, after a few minutes of searching, his father emerged from the crowd.

"Kid," Han nodded in greeting, but there was something disturbing about the way he smiled. Ben eyed him suspiciously as his father moved to his side, leaning in close to whisper at his son's ear. "Remember, girls like to be told that their pretty."

"What?" Ben tried to combat the rising heat in his face.

"All girls."

"Dad, what are you on about?" Ben nearly rolled his eyes.

"It's just like your mother. She only ever wanted people to know how tough she was, but," Han smirked with a playful grasp at his shoulder. "No matter how much she tried to deny it, she always liked it when I told her she was pretty."

"Why are you telling me…" His voice trailed off when his mother stepped through the crowd.

Leia had been born of royalty, even as a General she had a knack for wearing decorum suited for a princess. At an early age Ben had grown accustom to seeing his mother parading around in a dress with her body adorned in various jewels. He was not, however, used to seeing her in such attire.

Gone was the scavenger's over-worn garbs and humble robes of the Jedi. Hair that was used to being tied at the base of her neck flowed freely along shoulders that were practically bare. The woman's walk was awkward as she struggled to adjust to a style of unfamiliar shoes, but the small fault didn't distract from her beauty. No matter how long he stared, he couldn't seem to process what those familiar brown eyes were doing on this princess.

"Close your mouth, kid. You'll scare her off," Han whispered before walking to his wife. "You look lovely as always, sweetheart."

"Oh, knock it off, Han," Leia smirked at her husband's clumsy attempt to place a kiss at her knuckles. Ben would have smiled at the couple; basked in a wave of joy that his parents had maintained a good marriage without his great faults to tear them apart. He couldn't, however, strip his attention from her own stare.

Rey was watching him carefully, fiddling nervously with the fabric of the dress that was so entirely new to her. When their mutual gazing lingered for a bit too long, her eyes ducked to the ground while her cheeks burned red. At that, he finally smiled. There's my Rey.

"I have to mingle with the senators," Leia's smile was even more mischievous than his father's as she glanced between the pair. Ben felt his own face flush under their teasing gazes. "Rey tells me that she's never been to a party, why don't you show her around, Ben?"

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's leave the kids be," Han tugged her towards him before leaning in to whisper one last time at his ear. "Remember, tell her she's pretty."

Rey was far too close for him to curse his father's teasing and before he even had a chance to scowl at the man, Han had already been dragged away by his wife. When Ben was left alone with Rey, he was uncertain whether he wanted to laugh at his family's antics or hide in embarrassment at their banter. However, he was thankful that the girl beside him appeared oblivious and instead found great interest in the ground.

"She started talking about hairstyles," Rey spoke nervously. Her eyes never seemed to find the courage to meet him. "I made the mistake of saying that my mother never had the chance to teach me anything. Your mom practically forced me into a chair."

She tried to chuckle, but nothing could mask the trembles in her throat. Ben's lips curved upwards to encourage her laughter.

"I-uh, I could have taught you," he cleared his throat. "Well, at least some things. Mostly braiding."

"You know how to braid hair?" She smirked.

"Well, when you have a Wookie to practice on," he smiled; happy to see that her laughter offered another chance to relax.

The sound did something strange to him; stoking the embers of his adoration that for so long remained carefully buried. He wanted to hear it again, he wanted to see that smile remain forever. However, after a few moments her stare became glued to the ground.

Ben had watched her grow from child to teen to the woman she had quickly become underneath his very nose. He had seen her live an entirely different life; a life of hardship, pain, and extreme loneliness. He had seen her face foes that even the greatest warriors of legend would tremble at their feet. And yet, he had never seen her as petrified as she was then.

"I should have brought you home more often," he grasped for any words to break the silence; searching for any way to see that smile again. "She could have taught you all sorts of things."

Rey could only muster a light smirk while gripping her elbows that were tucked in close to her belly. A desperate attempt to hide the sight of skin that she preferred to keep to herself.

"I feel ridiculous."

There was truth in her voice, but then there was something else. She was terrified of such a new setting, even a blind man could see as much. However, there was desperation in the way she stole occasional glances; waiting anxiously for his next words. He thought of his father's advice and in a crazy moment of understanding, he was thankful for his teasing.

His chest constricted in regret, chastised himself for taking so much for granted when he should have known better. Perhaps his mother had been right, perhaps this was the perfect time for a party.

"Do you, uh, want to?" He gestured forward with his eyes to the dancing crowd. Rey followed the gaze, before growing even more panicked when noticing just where he had pointed.

"I don't know how," she answered quietly as a few trembles slipped past her careful defenses.

"That's okay, I do." Ben raised an arm to offer his hand. The moment brought about a memory of the first time he had made the very same gesture, though how different this moment was. Rey glanced at his open palm and for a terrifying second, he believed she would turn and run. But then, in a moment of wonder, her fingers were sliding along the tips of his fingers until they lay flat against his palm.

The touch surprised him, adding another beat to his already drumming heart. Ben had endured great moment of torture in his past, experiencing pain that would make even the toughest of beings wonder if their hearts would burst under the pressure. And now, in a simple moment of bliss, he could not help but fear that it was only a few beats away from failing. All because of a silly touch.

She had taken his hand before. Only a day ago they had followed the trail to his home hand in hand. He had spent the entire night wondering what the touch meant, before finally settling on the possibility that it had been nothing more than a friend's plea for comfort; taming his desperation for the touch to mean more. But this, this different.

Rey's grip tightened once they began walking. He refrained from making a joke over his mother's 'gift' as Rey used him for balance; having no desire to allow humor to soil this moment. He stopped at the edge of the crowd, choosing a spot that would best hide them from curious eyes. However, in the end Ben simply ignored the distant smirks upon his mother and father.

A gasp slipped between Rey's lips when he took her waist, and she could no longer deny the shivers. Just when Ben thought to release her and step away, Rey took his arm in a death-like grip.

"It's alright, Rey," he promised quietly.

"I know," she barely broke a whisper. When her shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, Rey looked at his shoulder and over and back again. Uncertain, it seemed, where it was proper for her eyes to rest. "Are we supposed to be this close?"

"Yes," he smiled; barely containing his chuckle. "That's usually why people dance."

"Why?" Her face flashed crimson. "No one at the Academy ever does this."

"I'm sure some have behind closed doors," he shrugged with a smirk. "I'm certain that your buddy Silvas would have liked to."

"I would have punched him if he came this close," she shook her head fiercely.

"Well, I appreciate your hesitation to do the same to me," he tried to chuckle. Rey, however, looked petrified at the concept. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No," she quickly stated. Her shoulders relaxed as if to prove her point. "It's just new."

He nodded in understanding.

"Me too."

"You?" She finally looked up to see his eyes. "Then how do you know what to do?"

"Mom taught me a long time ago," he explained while extending his hand to spin her slowly. Her panic fueled his burning chest as she so adorably returned to his arms with a fierce grasp. "Don't like spinning?"

"I-I don't know," she breathed nervously, while her eyes seemed to look everywhere but him. "Ben, they're all looking at you."

He finally released his chuckle.

"No Rey, they are all looking at you."

"Why?" She tensed in an instant as her face flared red.

Ben's chin tilted slightly. She really didn't know? His father's advice stirred at the back of his mind as he waited for their eyes to join. Taming all senses as he poured every ounce of sincerity into his words.

"Because your beautiful," he whispered.

Rey flushed again; once more ducking from his gaze.

"People don't normally look at me," she whispered.

"Yes they do," he promised quietly. "You just don't notice them."

"Am I embarrassing you?"

"No," he denied firmly, while his arms tightened on instinct. "Ignore them."

Rey swallowed nervously, tucking her chin off to the side and away from wandering eyes. He was ready to pull her out of the crowd until finally a few moments later she began to relax.

"I learned something today," she whispered.

"What did you learn?"

"That you're a prince."

Ben almost choked as he bit back a scoff.

"No." He denied immediately.

"Your mother was a princess," she reminded.

"I am not a prince," he shook his head with a forced smile; knowing that his irritation would be misunderstood. "Alderaan's royalty died with the planet. Even my mother has abandoned the title."

"But you would have been one," she pressed; driving to a point that he didn't understand. And then he felt it. A sudden distress filled his veins, a pain that once again did not belong to him. Ben swallowed his panic as he worried that the bond had slipped, but the realization of just what she feared overshadowed his own concerns. Racing through his mind were her incredibly foolish fears that she was unworthy for a prince.

"And you would have been an Empress," he reminded. "Though I think it's safe to say the galaxy would have far preferred you over its previous predecessor."

Rey did not relax as he had hoped and instead lowered her gaze to the ground once more. His hand rose hesitantly, running a careful finger along her cheek. He could only imagine the reactions of his parents if they were still watching, but all that mattered was taking away her sorrow.

"I meant that as a compliment," he promised.

She tried to smile, leaning ever so slightly into his touch.

"I guess I can see why you don't like that term," she said. He tried not to scoff before returning his hand to her waist.

"That's all I would have needed. Yet another title that I would fail to live up to."

"What do you mean?" Her brow lifted.

"I'm already the nephew of Luke Skywalker, grandson of Darth Vader, son of the great Leia and Han Solo; named after the ever-powerful Ben Kenobi," he couldn't resist releasing his aggravation in a sigh. "I can't take another legacy on my shoulders."

Rey stared for a moment, watching him in great confusion. "You don't think you've lived up to them."

"Is that a question?"

"Why do you think so little of yourself, Ben Solo?" The tone was surprisingly harsh given how nervous she had been the entire night. "You were the youngest Jedi to ever become a Master. You killed the Supreme Leader and sent the First Order scrambling for years."

"Yeah and look where we are now," he reminded. "Any day now Luke will find the Emperor and we will forced onto the frontline."

"You bought the Rebellion time," she argued. "Valuable time."

"Time to realize that their days are numbered?"

Rey simply narrowed her gaze. "Give me one good reason why you think you have failed your family?"

Ben shook his head softly. Because I'm a monster.

"Rey, there's a lot about me that you don't understand," he sighed.

"I would if you'd just tell me," she challenged.

It was his turn to hide from her; flustered that he had no one but himself to blame for the conversation. For a moment, he considered pulling away to run. It was what he normally did when faced with such conflict. But then, the strangest thing happened. She stepped closer to rest her head against his chest.

"You have no idea how hard it is for the people who care for you to watch you suffer in silence. Please, Ben, let me help you," she whispered against his shirt. Ben breathed softly while she rested above his lungs. The thought that she could most certainly feel the storm in his chest at her ear terrified him to his very core.

The bond that he had so successfully blocked for many years, began prodding his mind. Building like an intolerable headache; demanding attention. His eyes scrunched at the sensation and tried to focus on the angel in his arms. However, the more his thoughts lingered and the longer she remained, only seemed to aggravate it further.

"You already do, Rey," he whispered. In so many ways, my love.

Around them, the crowd began to clap at the end of the song. Rey startled back at arm's length, but quickly relaxed when all eyes were turned away from them. When she met his gaze her cheeks had flared red, as if only just realizing her actions. Ben finally smiled. "Come on, let's get some fresh air."


Rey walked along the edge of the beach where the sand met a patch of tall grass. As she moved her hand grazed along the tips of foliage and her smile, oh that smile, shined as brightly as the fireflies fleeing into the air. She was a walking contradiction, Ben thought to himself. Having long since removed the pair of shoes Leia had given her, she walked barefoot in the sand with a childlike innocent. And yet, her dress flowed so elegantly with the blades of grass, as if she were a queen basking in the glory of her humble subjects. Suddenly, her claims to see him as royalty did not seem so bad.

Ben wasn't sure how long he watched the angel giggle at the unique insects, nor did he care. He would stay there all night if it meant spending each moment adoring this woman. When did she grow up? He could not help but of their past filled his mind, breaking down every last barrier that he had so perfectly crafted.

For so long he had waited for the little girl he had taken from Jakku to grow into the woman that now paced the edge of the beach. He had forced himself away to let her live a life of her own choosing and yet, here she was. Could it be because she wanted him? Images of her kiss threatened to break his sanity, as he desperately wished to relive every sensation of her touch from so long ago. Ben also recalled those terrible moments spent stranded in the unknown. Doomed to watch half of his heart drown in sorrows.

You loved me in another life, could it be possible for you to love me now? He begged the force to answer, to grant him permission to seal their unity with a kiss. Ben's willpower began to crumble as their bond sizzled in the back of his skull. The dyad pounded relentlessly, begging to be released; to feel her mind brush against his own.

You are one, the force practically whispered. Make it so.

"They almost look like stars." Rey's voice managed to break his trance. All around her the bugs took flight, illuminating the space around her. Ben fought against the emotions in his throat, preparing himself before so foolishly blurting words of affection.

"More like comets with how much you're moving them," he hardly managed clear speech.

"Are you saying I'm a destructive hinderance?" Rey narrowed her gaze, sinking his heart into his stomach. He had offended his angel.

"No, of course not," he quickly stated, but Rey merely smiled at his quick defense.

"I was joking, Ben." She chuckled, but after meeting his gaze it appeared that she too grew nervous. Was he staring too much?

Whatever had troubled her seemed to flea as she moved to sit at his side. Accompanied by an aura of warmth that snaked through the folds of his clothes to soak into his skin. The closer she got, the more his bond threatened to break through.

"Your mother showed me a picture of your grandmother today," she said. "She was beautiful."

"She was," Ben nodded.

"I accidentally asked about your grandfather," Rey spoke softly. "I think I upset her."

Ben merely shrugged.

"She doesn't like to talk about him. But, I'm sure she knows that you meant no harm," he promised. "My grandfather put her through a lot of pain. He tortured both her and my dad and destroyed her homeland. It's hard for them to let go."

"I thought she'd be more forgiving," Rey stated.

"Why's that?" Ben asked curiously.

"I don't know, she's always been so full of hope. And he did change in the end." Rey shrugged nervously, as if fearing that she had answered incorrectly. He was ready to explain that the question had not been a test; that his days of seeing her as a mere Padawan were long gone, but then again…

"Would you forgive him?" He blurted.

"What?" She flinched in surprise.

"Could you forgive a man like Darth Vader?" He asked. "If he tortured your friends and killed the ones you loved, could you forgive him?"

"Is this a test?" She asked innocently.

"No," he shrugged as casually as he possibly could before asking again. "If Anakin Skywalker found a way to change his past, to prevent himself from becoming a sith, would he be worthy of my grandmother's love?"

"That's not possible," she scowled at the challenge.

"Imagine it was," he pressed. "Imagine he had found a way. Would he deserve even an ounce of forgiveness?"

For a moment, he thought she would flea from him. Or at the very least refuse to answer. Rey shifted uncomfortably, but eventually managed to whisper.

"Yes."

It was Ben's turn to stare in awe.

"Why?"

"Why wouldn't you?" She watched him cautiously. "Isn't that why the Jedi exist? To turn hearts away from the dark? If we aren't ready to welcome them home, why would anyone tempted by the dark feel safe in the light?"

Ben gaped at them woman. Certain, despite all his knowledge that proved differently, that she was an angel that escaped from the moons of Iego. And he, the once feared Kylo Ren, was her willing prey.

My angel, you'll never know how much I needed you in my first life.

"Besides," Rey continued. "If he stopped himself from hurting people, what's left to forgive?"

"He would have their memories," he whispered softly. "All those he had wronged, he would carry them wherever he would go."

"Sounds like a worthy punishment," she agreed with a shrug. "But it would also keep him safe."

"What you mean?"

"I would think it would help to remind him not to trust the lies of the dark side," Rey explained.

"I never thought of it that way," he admitted in a whisper.

"You think about this often?" She half joked.

"I used to struggle with the pull to the dark," he ducked from her gaze. "You know that."

A flash of shame crossed her features before she nodded in understanding. He offered a light smile to reassure her that he meant no ill will.

"Do you think he would have still married your grandmother?" Rey asked quietly. "After knowing how it could end?"

Ben nearly flinched in surprise at the question.

"Of course. My mother paid Naboo a visit many years ago. She found pages written between the two," Ben answered confidently. "They loved each other very much."

"But it was against the Jedi code," she pressed. Ben had to contain his desire to scoff.

"The Jedi had a great number of faults. Forbidding love was one of them," Ben held back the venom. "I'd wager that my grandfather would have never fallen if he hadn't been forced to hide their marriage. Instead, he was discouraged from entertaining fear as if it were something that could even be contained."

"I thought you liked the old ways of the Jedi?" Her brow scrunched as she asked.

"What gave you that idea?" He scoffed.

"You're always arguing with Master Luke about how he should run things." She reminded. Ben swallowed nervously. Perhaps he didn't have as good of a grasp on his temper as he had believed.

"I suppose I have a knack for giving my uncle a hard time," he admitted. A pinch of vile built within his throat as he forced himself to acknowledge the truth. "But, I think he has made many changes for the better."

"Wow. I think I just heard your head explode," she mocked. Ben allowed himself to smile through her chuckles.

"If you ever tell him I said that…"

"What?" She interrupted with a smirk before calling his bluff. "What will you do?"

"I don't know," he shook his head playfully. "I'll force you to do another eight-hour meditation."

"No way!" her eyes widened in clear discomfort at the memory. Their chuckles lasted a moment longer, before there was nothing but the sound of waves pressing against the shore.

Shouts of joy echoed in the distance from the ongoing party, but there was nowhere else he'd rather be than their peaceful little beach. From the corner of his eye he could see her adjust her posture more than once before asking.

"So you're alright with Jedi getting married?"

"Of course." Ben merely shrugged. Rey, however, was watching him in disbelief. "Why does that surprise you?"

"You've never courted anyone before," she returned to playing with the fabric of her dress. He thought of a playful retort, to remind her that she had admitted just the same only a day before. And yet, his heart compelled him to answer truthfully.

"I had never found the right partner."

The cold light of the moon melted against her warm stare. In another life he would be disgusted by the storm in his chest, by the appalling way his intellect became muddled with poetry. He wanted to shower her with words of adoration, to exclaim that her beauty went beyond physicality. The worst part was, he didn't care. With a flutter of his heart he swallowed as the realization revealed itself. He loved her. Then again, he always had.

Her shoulder brushed against his when she tried adjusting her posture. She whispered an apology, but when Ben moved to shake his head his gaze was captured by her own. How did they get this close? Rey sat at his side, watching intently. Waiting. But for what?

A flash of shame stilled him. It felt wrong. He had sat too closely, selfishly clinging to the generous heat between. She was an angel being adored by a demon's unworthy stare. Selfish. He was oh so selfish. And yet, he didn't have the power to turn away. With the full strength of their dyad buzzing in the back of his mind, how could he? And then, as if the force meant to stir his doubt, the sky exploded.

Rey leapt to her feet in an instant, stripping him from the lovely heat they had shared only seconds ago. His mind, still drunk off the sensation of her nearness and still muddied from a conditioned conflict, failed to comprehend her fear. She twisted and turned, looking to him in horror.

"It's just fireworks, Rey." He answered softly. Rey narrowed her gaze in doubt, but when he never startled at the strange activity, she allowed herself to calm. The voices cheered in the distance and ever so slowly began to disperse.

"Sounds like the party is over," Rey observed aloud. Ben merely nodded with a sigh, swallowing the pain of the Force's rejection. He supposed it was foolish to be hurt, for he had known it all along. He never deserved her.

Dousing the bond's aggravating flames, he forced himself to rise.

"We should get back," his voice nearly betrayed him. "We have an early start tomorrow."


The house was dark when they returned. After shouting more than once through the house, he came to the conclusion that neither of his parents had returned. Nor had Chewie and the droids.

"Must still be at the party," he noted aloud. "About time those two enjoyed themselves."

Rey smiled, but the expression failed to reach the rest of her features. With tense shoulders her arms were once again folded across her stomach, while her fingers ran anxiously along her biceps. Say something, his mind urged.

"I'll grab a change of clothes," he stated, slipping passed her before vanishing into his room. By the time he found himself reaching into his drawers, his arms had begun to shake. Ben wanted to growl at the force for its inconsistent punishment; uncertain how much longer he could take of the bond's torment before falling to his knees and divulging everything. And yet, as he walked back into the hallway to find his angel blocking the path to his make-shift bed, he couldn't help but wonder. Why not tell her?

"Ben?" Her voice was weak as she begged his attention. He took slow steps to reach her, tossing his night clothes on a chair nearby.

"Yes?"

Rey's mouth opened more than once as she struggled to speak, and her glossy eyes pleaded for comfort.

"What's going to happen to me now that the academy is closing?" She finally asked.

"You can go wherever you'd like," he assured.

"I don't have anywhere to go," she admitted in a whisper. By the way her lips clamped shut he imagined she was on the verge of sobbing and yet, he couldn't help but smile at her foolish worries.

"You have more options then you think. You already know that my mother wants to recruit you. I'm sure dad is trying to figure out how to get you on his ship."

To his surprise, none of his words seemed to offer any sort of comfort.

"Where will you be?"

"I," he stopped in surprise. "I don't know."

For a silent moment, Rey observed him carefully.

"I don't want things to change," she admitted in a whisper.

"Me neither," he agreed softly. However, he was met with a glare.

"You're lying," her accusation slipped softly. Ben stiffened uncomfortably, taken aback by her claim. What?

As if she could hear his question in her mind, she scowled.

"You're already making plans for when the war is over. To abandon the Jedi." A tear slid along her cheek before continuing. "To abandon me."

He flinched at the admission, finally understanding her hesitation. He almost smiled in disbelief, but the angry tears in her eyes warned against letting it show.

"You think I intend to leave you behind?"

Her scowl lessened.

"Why do you think I need a bigger ship?" His arm lifted on its own and by the time he regained control of his action, his fingers were already grazing her cheek. Rey ducked her chin slightly and her embarrassment flowed into him. With a stroke of his thumb he wiped away the tear. "Where would you like to be?"

There was a heated silence as he awaited her answer. He could hear his heart in his ears as he desperately wished to hear the words aloud. And then, his angel's eyes rose to meet him.

"I want to stay with you."

He couldn't speak as she stepped closer to meet him in a daring move. Rey gripped his arms to hold him steady, as if he had any desire to flee, while her lips reached his cheek. It was quick, hastened by uncertainty as she met his eyes after.

A trail of tingles was left behind by her lips, and the will to ignore his pulsing heart tugged at the end of its last string. The last of his logic taunted him, remining Ben that he shouldn't entertain the desires flowing through his veins. And yet, she too had remained. Rey's hands were still at his arms as her gaze searched his own; begging for something. With a flutter of his heart he imagined that he knew just what it was she sought.

Rey brought her fingers to rest at his chin; testing the texture of his scruff against her soft skin. He clung to his resistance a moment longer, before her eyes lingered just above his chin. Against all his conditioning to be doubtful of any worth, against his carefully crafted judgement, he kissed her.

Ben had no recollection how his hand ended up at the back of her neck, nor how he found the courage to break his resolve. The only thing that mattered was the elation of their kiss.

Rey didn't shy away as he feared. Instead, her hands closed around his shoulders, pulling herself deeper into his touch. It was much warmer than their first and far less painful. There were no broken ribs burning in agony at the ferocity of her hold, replaced by a thundering heart. He wanted to memorize everything: the feel of her fingers grazing the side of his face, the pressure of her body held against his, the sensation of deeply buried desires that were sated at last by a simple touch. Every trace of her fingers against his skin, every graze of her lips moving against his own produced a new flood of emotion that his mind failed to commit to memory.

His mind was drunk from her gift. When she broke with a gasp he found himself chasing her lips; stopping just short of claiming another. His finger moved to trace the edge of her smile, as they stood in the silent hallway in a shared breath.

"Does that mean I can stay?" She whispered so sweetly. He took her face gently within his hands, resting his forehead against her own. For a moment, he basked in the relief of her nearness.

"I see no future without you at my side," he promised.

She reached once more, taking his lips gently within her own. It was short and featherlite, but oh so sweet before she pulled away far too soon. Leaving him with a smile to haunt his beautiful dreams.

"Goodnight, Ben."


Review Replies

Tee – I am glad to hear that! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Thanks for reading!

UniKatFox – I hope you enjoyed the new chapter! Thanks for reading!

Shyjedi – Aw Thank you so much! I'm glad you are enjoying the time skips and thank you for the lovely compliments!

ElClemons – Thank you for both of your reviews! I am glad you are enjoying the bits of romantic tension and emotion in the story! I hope you enjoyed the new chapter and thanks so much for reading!

Brainy-brownie123 – I am glad that you enjoyed the chapter and the relationship growing between the pair! We are actually done with time skips, so we will end at this age. Thanks for reading!

Stepanka hanusova86 – I have no doubts Ben would have been a very tender gentleman after his turn to the light. Haha Han and Ben are pretty fun to write, so I'm glad you mention their interactions! You're very welcome and thank you for reading and reviewing! :)

FourShot411 – I am so glad to hear that! You're very welcome and thank you for reading!

The Doctor Rose – Thank you!

David12leca – Thank you for all of your reviews! I am glad that you are enjoying the story! Thank you for reading!

Rainne 2000 16 – I am glad you enjoyed the chapter! Especially Rey's little moment of comedy. It was definitely time for Ben to have that chat with his family. As for your question, Ben told Rey that Palpatine was her granddaddy at the end of chapter 4. It's not a direct statement but she catches on to the implication. :) Thanks for reading!