I continued running down the endless black hallway. The giant demonic bat was bearing down on me. In my short life, I'd never felt terror like this before. I could feel the wind from it's beating wings growing stronger. As I ran, my legs continued to throb with exhaustion. I bobbed my head to narrowly avoid its snapping jaws. In the distance was a large man with his back turned. If only I could make it to the man, he could protect me.
I ran faster, pushing myself through the fatigue. The man slowly turned as I approached. I stopped dead in my tracks. I'd hoped it was the strong man from my earlier vision -the man who I was destined to grow into, but it was not him. It was the vile pervert Puerco! Blood flowed freely from his enormous gut and the holes in his face where I'd torn his chain out.
"Come closer little one," he sneered at me.
I stopped dead in my tracks, and in that instant the giant bat was on me. The wings closed around me and it sunk its giant fangs into my throat. I knew this was it. The fangs sunk so deep that they scraped against the bones in my neck -the most horrible scraping sound.
As I screamed I opened my eyes, and I was back in my cell. It had been another dream, but the scraping sound persisted.
I looked toward the source of the noise and just as promised, a slot in the door opened and a tray was pushed through. The scraping was the metal tray against the stone floor.
On the tray was a pitcher of water and a bowl of something slimy and grey. I held the pitcher greedily to my mouth as I drank the fresh water. My mouth had never felt so dry. I drank almost the whole pitcher without taking a breath. After my thirst was quenched, my heart finally started to slow down from my nightmare about the bat.
The grey substance was a tasteless gruel -this was to be my sustenance for the day. It was not enough. I had spent most of the last night treading water when my cell flooded. The same thing was almost certain to happen tonight. My body felt like a wreck. Every muscle still burned. My hands were scabbed over from where I desperately clutched every nook and cranny on the walls. My palms had formed thick callouses from when I dangled from the ceiling grate for hours. Perhaps it would be better if I just lay down and let the water take me?
I had not been given any utensils to eat the grey slop, so I ran my fingers around the bowel to finish it. It was not nearly enough, and my stomach still growled with hunger.
I heard a slapping noise against the stone floor as the last of the seawater drained down into the grate. A fish had become stranded. When the water drained from my cell, the unfortunate fish had become stranded and had not been able to make it back to the ocean. I looked around and counted two more fish. After enduring the flooding of my cell the previous night, it seems I had been rewarded with three fish.
They did not look especially appetising, but my body needed something. I barely had enough strength to stand, and I knew that the terror I survived was just the first night of a ten year confinement. I would have to eat the fish if I were to have the strength to make it through another night.
I walked cautiously over to the first fish. It was raw. The scales sliced at my young face as I sunk my teeth into its slimy body. The meat tasted bitter, but I could feel my body thanking me as the hunger pangs began to fade. The fish's head stunk and I refused to eat it. I discarded the skeleton on the floor and begun to devour the second fish. By the time I had finished, I was thankful that the third fish had stopped moving. It had given up the futile effort of fighting for its life, and was now lying motionless in a puddle of water.
As I begun to consume the third fish, I imagined my mother standing next to me. She would have been so proud of me. Against all odd I had survived through the night, and I was no building my strength for the nights that lay ahead.
"I don't like fish mother," I said to her. "I don't like how it bleeds."
My meal was disgusting and my face was a mess. But I felt stronger. I pushed the tray back towards the slot in the door. I remembered the importance of returning the tray. Failure to return it would indicate to the warden that I was dead. And I was not ready to die yet.
I noticed that one of the bricks in the wall had cracked. Over the years, the water had worked the crack bit by bit, and now it looked quite weak. I worked my finger into the crack and the brick crumbled. I was able to pull a piece of it out. I held the stone in my hand, satisfied with my new weapon.
I needed rest, but I feared the idea of going back to sleep. I knew that if I slept, the bat from my nightmares would return.
I wondered if it would be possible to rest my body but keep my mind alert. Why not try? The only commodity I had now was time. I sat against the stone floor and closed my eyes. My body relaxed, and I did nothing but slowly and steadily breathe. I didn't know it at the time, but I was meditating.
As I sat there, deep in meditation, I began to feel -for the first time in a very long time, relaxed. I sat for hours, alone with my thoughts. My body was able to slowly heal itself from last night's intense exercise. I focused on the sound around me. The dripping water, the wind howling above me. I breathed in the smell of the seawater and the stink of the fish carcasses that littered my cell. Eventually I heard the scrape of the tray being collected. I could feel my focus growing stronger, becoming more aware of everything in my cell.
After a few more hours, I heard the most curious sound. It was soft, barely noticeable, but the more focused I became, the more obvious it was. A soft, scurrying sound followed by the occasional high pitched squeaking. I cautiously opened my eyes and saw that it was my nemesis from the night before. The rat.
The rat lazily made its way across the cell to where I had discarded the fish. I watched as a second rat squeezed under the door to follow it's friend. The feasted on the fish heads I discarded. Slowly, I picked up the stone I had pulled from the wall.
Whatever meat I had left on the fish was picked clean by the two rats. Now they made their way towards me. The sickly little boy that had invaded their home. They sniffed the air as they approached. The first rat hissed at me, remembering me from the previous night. I didn't move. Growing bolder, they padded their way closer -no doubt getting ready to attack.
In one swift motion I lunged forward and brought the stone down on the head of the first rat. The rat's body made a crunching noise as it was crushed against the floor. The second rat let out a scream and scrambled for the door. I smiled as I bashed the stone down on the first rat again and again. Satisfied and curious, I picked the rat's lifeless body up by the tail and inspected it's crushed remains. This was the second life I had taken. I felt strong for it. I flung the rat into the grate on the floor and heard it splash into the water below.
I sat on the ledge and swung my legs in boredom. A few hours later the tray arrived to my cell again and I had more water and more tasteless, unsatisfying gruel. Soon after, I saw water trickling from the grates in the wall. My heart raced when I knew the flood was coming again. I knew I faced death again. My legs were still tired from the night before, but I was better fed than yesterday. Two servings of gruel and three fish. I glanced at the grate on the floor. If I survived tonight, I would have to try eating crab sometime. Maybe even rat. Maybe.
Over the next few hours, the cell flooded again. This time, I studied where the cracks in the wall were to best support myself. This time I tried to remember not to swallow any sea water. Vomiting up my dinner like yesterday was most certainly not an efficient use of the energy it provided. This time, I was able to make my way to the ceiling grate without bumping my head against the stone. Again I dangled from the grate for as long as my arms could bare before dropping back into the water. It was difficult, it was exhausting, but this time I knew the routine. I had now survived for two nights in my cell. My muscles still burned, but this time I didn't vomit. This time I was still conscious as I watched the water drain away down the floor grate. Slowly, -very slowly, I was improving. I was surviving.
I knew the secret now. Do not focus on the next ten years. Focus only on tomorrow. If I could survive this cell one day at a time, the years would melt away by themselves.
After the water disappeared down the grate again, I meditated once more. I meditated for as long as I could... until the exhaustion won out and I was asleep again. When I slept, the bat from my nightmares was waiting for me. This time the bat chased me off the island cliff into the ocean below where I was torn apart by the sharks. I woke up screaming in a cold sweat, ate my gruel once more and the day started over.
This time, there was only one fish for me to eat. A small one. It did not fill my belly like the three yesterday. Tomorrow there might be none. I knew that the gruel I was given would not satisfy me, and there was no guarantee on any given day that the fish would strand themselves when the tide went back down. I knew the steps I'd need to take to continue surviving. I would need to learn how to swim instead of merely treading water. I would need to learn how to hunt the fish while they were in my cell instead of relying on them to strand themselves.
I paced around the cell waiting for the tide to return. My stomach growled. I'd only eaten half of the small fish. The meat hadn't been any more appetising than yesterday, but it was sustenance. My stomach desperately wanted me to eat the other half, but I couldn't. I'd need it for my trap. As the sun rose, the stink of the fish wafted through my cell, almost making my gag.
I gripped the stone I'd pulled from the wall. Soon I was rewarded for my patience. Another rat squeezed its way under the door, unable to resist the smell of the fish. Like yesterday, I brought the stone crashing down, killing the rat instantly. I felt my appetite disappear as I tried my best to pluck the fur away from the rat's body. Once I was able to build up my nerve, I bit into the body of the rat, sinking my teeth into the foul meat. I ate as much as I could bear, then tossed the rest down the grate into the ocean.
I silently promised myself that rat meat would only be food when I was truly desperate. I'd do my best to catch fish and crabs when they were available.
I sat back against the stone wall of my cell. I thought back to Zombie's words when my mother had died a few days ago. No one is forever.
"Mother," I whispered, "if no one is forever... then why am I still here?"
