Chapter 6 || Time To Start Planning My Funeral▲
20 minutes post leaving Gakuen Alice, I arrive at Natsume's house; soaked in water and shivering from the coolness.
Sniffling because of my runny nose, I walk into the open kitchen/lounge room, dropping my school bag on the counter.
The anger I once passionately felt towards Natsume was now replaced with both confusion and curiosity. What past experience made him so cruel and so bitter with the world? People don't just become mean without a reason, or at least I don't think they do.
His pranks were nothing traumatizing and I knew that. I wasn't upset about the pranks, though. I could handle them. I was upset about the fact that he'd want to do them to me and that he's always so cruel to me.
I mean, I haven't done anything bad to him besides almost blinding him.
Maybe he was distancing himself from me, and trying to make me sad because he didn't want me trying to get to know him and who he is? - Or maybe I'm just making excuses.
Both options are possible, but the main question is whether or not I'm willing to endure his cruelness to find out.
"You know you've been having an internal monologue for a solid minute now and it's starting to creep me out."
A husky voice breaks my train of my thought and I look up to see Natsume sitting on the lounge room couch with a cocky smirk on his face.
I would have chided him and his attitude and what he did to me if I wasn't looking at Natsume in a new light now. I no longer see him as the mean, tough Natsume Hyuuga who dominates Gakuen Alice, and instead see him as the mysterious, troubled Natsume Hyuuga. I may be wrong about him, I may be right, but one thing for sure was that I was going to find out.
Shaking my head out of my thoughts, I recollect myself and smile at him, "Hey, Natsume."
Natsume's victorious expression drops and he looks back at me with an annoyed and irritated expression. An annoyed groans escapes his mouth and he shoots up from his seat, storming out of the room.
I, being the curious girl I am, trail behind him, "Natsume, what's wrong?" He ignores me and walks towards his room. I follow suit, "What did I do? Why are you being so-"
"Would you shut the hell up!" His voice booms throughout the house and I freeze in my spot, staring up at him with wide eyes. His chest heaves up and down as he glares at me with pure hatred, "Have you not gotten the hint?" he snaps, "I. Hate. You. Why can't you just get it in that thick head of yours that I don't want anything to do with you?"
When I don't respond, he laughs a bitter laugh and steps towards me. I let out an uneasy breath at the close proximity between us. "I want you to leave this house. I don't give a flying fuck how you do it, but I don't want to see you here again."
My jaw falls ajar at his command and the anger in his voice. I knew he hated me, but this? This was far more than I ever anticipated. I could feel my cheeks getting wet, not from the rain, but from my tears.
I mean I couldn't leave. I had nowhere else to stay! I mean, I could stay with Sumire or Hotaru, but that would lead to Kaoru and Shiku finding out why I'm leaving, which would lead Natsume hating me even more when they tell him off, which would lead to my life being ruined.
"And if you don't..." he mutters, his face now inches from mine, "Well, you know how easily I can make your life a living hell, right?" he comments, raising his eyebrows expectantly. I nod my head vigorously in response. "Good." He smirks. Natsume then pats me on the head in a patronizing and condescending way and winks, his whole demeanor completely changing as he walks away from me with a slight bounce in his step.
"We're home!" I hear someone call as the front door swings open and Kaoru enters. She notices my pale face and furrows her eyebrows, "Honey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," I reply, forcing a broad smile onto my face, "Everything's great! I am just going to call Sumire and stay over there for the night."
I think it's time to start planning my funeral.
Kaoru stares at me, suspiciously and hesitantly for a long moment before a saying something, "Did Natsume say something to you?" I nodded my head no and head upstairs to my room and call Sumire and start packing. She said that she would be here shortly and I gather my things, not sure how long I would be staying. I pack many things, only essential ones.
I still couldn't believe or understand why so many people hated me. My family go around pretend that they don't have a daughter, my big brother Youchi does not even acknowledge me. Even when I was in grade school, there were these senior boys that once bullied me. I remember that day clearly.
Flashback:
It was lunck break and all the kids were playing with each other. I was sitting on the bench alone, drawing and minding my own business, when out of nowhere the senior boys came.
"Hey loner, whatcha ya do'in?" the leader asked. Me being shy just ignore them and continue to doodle in my book. Then I feel one of his friends grip my arm.
"We asked you a question?" one of his friend says. I feel my eyes water up. They look at me and start laughing.
"oh, are you gonna cry? Gonna call your mommy?" the leader says. I struggle to get out of his grip, but he was to strong. One of his gang members take my book.
"Hey! Give it back!" I jump to get it back but he kept it high above to I couldn't reach. They were all laughing at me. Then the guys throughs it into a puddle.
"NOOO!" I shout but, he had already thrown it. They started to walk away, laughing. I looked at my drawing book that was soaked and wet.
I look up and saw my brother staring at me. did he see what happened? Why didn't he help me? Without noticing I see my big brother walk away, not bothering to stand up, or comfort me.
I sigh, and grab my soaked drawing book, and clutching it to my chest tightly.
"Are you alright?" I look up to see a girl with green curly hair. She was pretty. I nodded saying yes.
"My name is Sumire. What is yours?" she asks.
"Mikan"
"Why are you crying?" Sumire asks.
"Some boys ruined my book." She came up to me and hugged me.
"It's okay. Come on. Let's go, and let me show you some of my friends." She says and drags me when I don't respond.
End of Flashback
That is how I met Hotaru, Anna and Nonoko. Sumire always made that no one bullied me from that day on, and soon all her friends as well. They made me feel belonged and visible to the world, but somehow it wasn't always enough. I mean I love my friends but my family love was never with me.
"What are you doing standing there?" I hear a voice behind me, and of course it was Natsume. I didn't need to turn around and just started to walk downstairs.
"Where are you going?" I hear his irritated tone, trailing behind me.
"What's it to you?" I shot back looking at him, un fazed. Before he could reply I hear a car horn outside knowing it was Sumire.
"Where are you going Mikan?" he asks again
"Goodbye." I smile at him and look at his confused expression. I head out to Sumire's car. I put my bag in the truck and get inside the car and we head out.
"He did that?" Sumire gasps from the green beanbag she was sitting on. She made hot chocolate for me. I had changed my clothes since my uniform was drenched. Her parents said that I could stay here for the night. I thanked them, and Sumire took me to her room.
"Yep," I answer sadly, and take another sip from my hot chocolate.
"Oh Mik..." she sighs, "See, this is what happens when you try to be friends with the school's bad boy. He's not a nice guy. You honestly didn't think it would be easy?"
"I knew it wouldn't be easy," I reply, "But I didn't think it would be impossible," I switch ears with the phone, "You know, all I wanted to do was give him a friend," I frown, "I thought he might want a friend and someone he can talk to, you know? Then he won't feel so lonely…. No body should be alone."
"I know what you mean Mikan. You don't need to help everyone." Sumire states in a quiet voice.
"But I just feel so guil-"
"Don't you dare complete that sentence. It wasn't your fault," Sumire interrupts me in a stern voice.
"It was, though. I could've-"
"You are not responsible for everyone. You aren't some sort of God that needs to take care of everyone. You're only human, Mikan. Stop blaming yourself for something you had no control over."
But I did. I could've saved her.
I purse my lips and exhale a shaky breath. I wasn't in the mood to discuss this matter, so I just agree with her. "Yeah, okay."
Sensing my reluctance on speaking about the topic, Sumire changes the subject, "Hey, have you talked to your parents?"
"Yeah!" I respond with no emotion, "Apparently everything is going well for them, which is great. It was one call and that is it."
"oh, well has your brother called you?" Sumire questions.
"No, and I don't care."
"Don't say that Mikan."
"He doesn't care about me Sumire, no one ever did. Until you came along, but before that I was treated like a ghost."
"Listen, we can talk about this tomorrow. Right now we to get some sleep. Also you need to tell Hotaru what happened after school since you missed out the doctors appointment today"
oh shoot! I totally forgot!
"Being nice doesn't mean you stop standing up for yourself. Don't just let him push you around. He tells you to move out of the house? Tell him to fuck off!" she says.
"Yeah..." I reply wistfully.
I knew she was right. I couldn't let Natsume push me around. All excuses put aside, he has no right to treat me this way. "You're right," I agree.
"You can hide things from people Mikan, but you can't hide yourself. You are hiding a lot of things from your family, friends and even the people that care for you. You can't keep your emotion bold up inside yourself, it is very unhealthy." she assures me.
"I have you and Hotaru, I don't need anyone else."
"You do have us, but you need your family more than anyone. Especially right now. They need to know what is wrong with you Mikan, and not only your school life, but also health wise. What if it gets worse?" She inquires, and I know that she is right.
"I know, but they don't want me. I was a mistake and by noting telling them what is wrong with me, it would be fixed. My mom, dad and Youchi will be free from me."
"Mikan, you need help. Badly." She says and continues, "I will always be there to help you, even Hotaru" I look at her, and hug her tightly. I am so grateful to have a friend like her.
"Thank you." I say.
" Welcome. Now go to sleep. We have school tomorrow." I nodded and got comfortable in her bed. She turned the lights off and joined me.
Mikan: Aww! Thank you Sumire! I love you!
Sumire: love you to!
Natsume: So now you two are lesbians?
Mikan and Sumire: No!
Mikan: as friends you bonehead
Nastume: Hn.
Me: anyway… read and review guys!
Mikan: tell us how much you like us in the reviews!
All: See you next time!
