"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone in there. I was just-"
"Emily. You can't be sorry, because it's not something you can control. Yet. Besides. I'm the idiot who didn't think to lock that door," Damon replied, driving them to the Grill.
"Well, why would you? I was the one snooping around-"
"Okay, we could go all day placing blame, or we can safely assume it's no one's fault," Damon smiles humorously.
"…That sounds good," she nodded, facing the window.
Knowing well what they were going to do since he'd told her they were heading out, Emily was greatly nervous, worried, and anxious. The only thing that seemed able to calm her, was the fact that she wasn't alone, and that Damon had promised from the start he would help her through it.
"So, how is this gonna go?" she asked after a moment of silence. He'd pulled the car roof back on before picking her up at the house for more privacy.
"You'll wait in the car. I'll go find us a…someone, and, well. You know the rest. Piece of cake," he muses. She scoffed.
"Right."
"You're a smart girl, Gilbert. You know this has to be done, so just," he chuckles before giving a pun, "suck it up." She squints her eyes at him irritably for that stupid joke, before saying:
"Can't I just feed on blood bags?!"
"Course you can. I haven't fed on anyone in days! That's not the problem. The problem is-Okay. For example. I can sit a room full of people, and not think about eating them, because I have before. I've learned that I can when I want to, and that I have the ability to do so, with enough control to keep from killing them. You, on the other hand-"
"Okay. I get it," Emily cuts off, not wanting to hear that basically Damon was saying she could end up killing someone.
"Besides. It isn't as horrible as you think it is. Feeding on people is actually pretty fun."
"Damon," she rolled her eyes.
"Feeding on you certainly was," he smirks.
Her eyes widen.
"You didn't seem to mind it either."
"Damon!" she scolds, then is unable to contain her laughter. Apparently, she found how quickly he was able to twist a serious topic into an inappropriate joke, amusing. Damon grinned in retaliation, content he could get her out of her pressurized-bottle mood for a moment
before throwing her right back into it…
XXX
Upon arriving, Damon did as he said he would, and told Emily to wait in the car. Minutes later, he returned to retrieve her. He guided her to the back of the building, to find a semi-familiar looking blonde opposite her.
Damon stopped them three feet from her, then stepped in front of Emily and spoke. "Okay. Here how's it's gonna go. You're gonna look her straight in the eyes. Tell her not to move and to stay calm. Then you're gonna feed on her, and tell her to forget what just happened. Capiche?"
She wasn't even looking at him, too consumed with the sudden reality of the situation as she stared over his shoulder at the seemingly placid, unbeknownst girl.
Damon tilted her chin to the side to face her as he called her name. "You can do this," he told assuringly.
It took her a minute, till she finally nodded.
He nodded as well, and stepped aside.
As though in dream-state, Emily slowly approached the girl, and stops opposite her.
A short but intense moment of hesitation passes.
Damon watches anxiously, keeping close.
He wanted this over with as much as she.
Acting mostly on instinct, Emily gently cupped the girl's face, and firmly locked-eye contact. "Don't be afraid," she calmly told. "I'm not gonna hurt you…You can trust me." Her words seemed to affect Damon himself, as though her kindness combined with the grim act she was to commit was somehow his fault.
He wanted to stop her.
"I can trust you…You're not going to hurt me," the girl half-consciously repeated, filling Emily to the brim with a sense of guilt,
but,
it soon dissipated,
when her ears tuned in to the girl's heartrate,
when her hunger set in…
The girl had her hair up in a ponytail, so her neck was perfectly exposed.
Emily's mouth parted.
All guilt, all hesitation, everything around her,
faded,
all but the sound of blood bumping through the girl's veins.
With a heavy heart still, Emily neared her…
She grasped lightly her shoulders, and brought her lips to where the sound was most audible; her neck.
Her fangs unsheathed, darks lines stretched beneath her reddened eyes…
She closed what distance was left, and sunk into the flesh.
Fresh, warm blood seeped from two equidistant injections, and into her mouth.
It was indescribable, how she felt in that moment.
A grimly astounding picture of draining life, for life.
Emily's mind went board-blank. Her heart raced like wind. Her body practically shook in excitement, relief, ecstasy.
It was maddening.
It consumed her.
How long had passed, she couldn't tell, but it felt too soon as Damon started pulling her back. With heightened senses, his hands on her arms caught her off guard. She pulled back from the girl as though in shock, as Damon guided her two feet away, turning her to face him.
Crimson blood dripped from lips, down her chin. She was breathing heavily, wild green eyes darting back and forth as though attempting to process what she had done, that it was done, and why it had stopped.
Damon felt sick to his stomach.
It was like looking in a mirror, like he'd turned her into him. He hated it.
Not dwelling on fairly dark thoughts, Damon shook himself out of it, and attempted to get her attention. There was one more step she had to take to complete the feeding process, possibly the most important step.
"Emily," he called, wiping at the blood on her chin with his thumb. "Focus. You need to compel her to forget. She has to forget this. Okay?" Acknowledging he'd spoken at all, Emily finds her mind hadn't stopped functioning as it felt it had, and she understood what he was saying. She nodded ethically. Damon nodded as well, doubtful.
With a hand to her back, he guided her back to the girl, keeping close behind her.
Emily's gaze immediately fell to the girl's bleeding neck.
Her stomach twisted horridly. She felt more guilt than ever-active hunger.
She approached the girl, who looked to be in a daze. Not moving. Not speaking.
Breathing shakily, Emily bit into her wrist, wincing lightly at the pain. Damon's brows furrowed. She brought up her wrist to the girl's mouth. "Drink. It'll help," she said. The girl complied wordlessly. Damon was rooted to his spot, watching as she healed her feed intentionally. It was such a strange action to him and most vampires, even Stefan, usually because the notion of having their feed flee, with no memory, was vital for their sense of control, to not have to continue to look at the blood till they lost it again.
Emily glanced at the wound, then quickly away, proving that the continued presence of blood before a vampire who'd just fed was very problematic indeed. Hoping the wound had closed up, Emily removed her wrist, it already starting to heal, and cupped the girl's face firmly, speaking quickly. "Forget this. Leave. Go," she beckoned. The girl immediately complied, turned, and ran off, snapping Damon out of it.
Emily exhaled sharply. Damon faced her. She was panicking, practically shaking in fear. "Good. You did good." His tone was fast and forcefully confident as he locked onto her gaze firmly for convincing. After a moment of catching her breath and calming down, Damon walked her back to the car.
XXX
Several minutes passed since they'd gotten into his car, since he'd praised her a job well done for a first time.
She was silent to that, merely nodded, as she was silent the whole ride.
There was nothing else he could say. He was just as tensely quiet, preoccupied by that horrid and sudden idea that he'd turned her into him.
Then, upon recalling her decision to heal her feed, something he never would have done, he rejected the idea, and determinedly insisted it was false. She was still the same, good-hearted girl she was before she'd turned.
She was still her.
"Can you, uh. Can you stop the car?" she spoke up suddenly. Caught off guard, it takes Damon a minute to process her request. He faced her worriedly, though her gaze was set out the window, refusing to meet his eyes. "Just. Please. Stop the car!" she suddenly exclaimed. In concerned haste, he complied, halting at the side of the road.
She quickly climbed out, and practically stumbled towards the nearest of many forest trees. She placed a firm hand to the wood to support her stand, breathing heavily as she tried to control her overwhelming sense of guilt, and keep the tears burning in her eyes at bay.
"Hey, Emily!" Damon called worriedly, climbing out and approaching her as well. She didn't want to do this in front of him, didn't want to give him the idea that she was regretting what they'd done,
cause she partially was.
She put out her other hand. "Just!" she uttered, then unintentionally cried out.
It wasn't that she'd fed off someone, that she thought she'd hurt that girl, it was that the girl was completely oblivious to what she was doing.
It was the compulsion,
the kind of control she had over someone that made her sick for ever abusing.
Damon paused, heart jumping at her confirmed state.
For a minute, he stood still, acknowledging her need for space.
But he just couldn't, as he listened to her uncontrollably sob, attempting to do so quietly with a hand over her mouth.
Acting greatly out of character, Damon hurried towards her in rejection. He refused to have her fall apart before him, and do nothing about it.
He felt obligated to act, as much as he wanted to.
He put a hand on her shoulder to turn her to face him. "No, just, hhh," she tried declining, gaze set low to hide her teary eyes. Damon wouldn't have it. He pulled her into him, embraced her tightly as though to shield her from her own pain. "I'm sorry! I just-" she couldn't explain why she was reacting this way, couldn't put it in words. She didn't have to. He understood.
"Shh, sh, sh. You're apologizing for being a good person. It's the stupidest reason to apologize ever," he mused lightheartedly. She laughed in spite of herself, then brought her arms around him, clenching the cloth of his shirt on his back, and holding on as though in fear of drowning. He held her closely, put his head on her shoulder, then half-consciously inclined it to the side, burying it in her neck and hair, breathing in her scent. His closeness was suddenly all-consuming, and completely stole her attention from her bitter truth. She sighed heavily in relief, almost physically feeling her worries depart, and causing her tears to dry. Warmth suddenly engulfed her, and her heart started racing, the thought of Damon invading her senses. Then he pulled away, made concerned by how lost he was in their embrace. They remained inches apart.
There was love in her eyes, he couldn't yet identify, but the way she was looking at him made him unable to turn away. He pushed her hair behind her ear, his fingers brushing the skin of her cheek. Her eyes slid shut and she sighed at his touch, causing him to place his palm flat on her skin, grazing her cheekbone with his thumb.
His eyes fell to her parted lips.
He wanted to kiss her…
There was a Stefan-like voice in the back of his head that kept him, a voice that warned him once: '-she falls for you-'
Somehow pegging himself unworthy of her admiration, he said: "Let's go home."
XXXXX
