Disclaimer: I'm just a geeky fangirl that likes to play around; I own nothing.
The Long Way Home: Chapter 3
Lunch time found Ueno seated at his usual table, reviewing his class notes. The class lecture had been easy to grasp, but he despised mediocre grades and wanted to knock out as much homework as possible before the weekend so that he could concentrate on his job search. With only a half an hour for a break, studying was never as intensive as Ueno preferred.
Ueno paused long enough to reach into his school bag. He rooted around for a highlighter, and then dropped his bag back to the floor. He soon became immersed enough in his studying that he didn't notice Aki's presence until he heard the other boy all but flop into his chair with a sigh.
Ueno jerked before regaining control of his senses. They had never made an agreement to meet for their lunch breaks. Neither of them ever walked away from the lunch hour throwing out a "see you tomorrow", but Aki always showed up, as if they had. Ueno hoped a sense of obligation didn't result in Aki feeling forced into meeting with him each day. Perhaps he didn't know many students yet, or didn't feel comfortable socializing with anyone else. Still, he was glad Aki appeared without fail. "Aki. Hey."
Aki returned Ueno's greeting with a small smile. "Hi."
Ueno found it impossible not to cheerfully smile back, not with Aki's eyes seeming to twinkle as they gazed at him. "Doing good? How were your classes today?"
Aki set his books on the table before answering. "Fine. Boring, but fine."
"Mmm." Ueno had decided that morning that he would begin with small talk and try to engage Aki in some more animated conversation before attempting to ask any larger scale questions. "Will you have a lot of homework to do over the weekend?"
"I shouldn't, no." Aki brushed a stray strand of silky hair off his forehead. "I have lots of free time after classes, so I've been doing homework every night. I won't have much to do, except edit a report that I've already written."
"What do you plan on doing, then?" Fishing for hobbies seemed safe.
Ueno's question appeared to have caught Aki off guard. "I haven't made any plans. With school and all, I haven't had time to get completely settled. I'll probably spend the weekend organizing my things."
"Where did you move?"
"Not far," Aki replied quietly, flipping open one of his textbooks. "It takes me about a half-hour to walk to the university. I don't even need to use the trains."
"Any roommates?" Ueno asked carefully.
Aki lifted his head quickly, again startled by the question. "N-no. Not really."
Ueno lifted an eyebrow as he began to peel an orange. "Not really?" What the hell did that mean? It was an easy question, one that Ueno felt should have been answered without confusion. If Aki was already being evasive, Ueno expected a headache during the more difficult, probing questions.
It was Aki's turn to fidget and blush, while Ueno watched in silent fascination. Aki was only human after, but Ueno had a difficult time picturing him flustered. He opened his mouth, attempting to formulate his next foray into the unknown when Aki asked a question of his own. "What about you?"
"Me?" Ueno raised his head.
"Do you live alone?"
"Ah. I do live alone. It's more affordable to have a roommate, but I've been able to manage on my own pretty well. My parents help out too."
"Do you like being alone?"
"Yeah. It's nice to be able to come and go whenever I want, have a quiet place to study, and not have to worry about anyone else making a mess. But sometimes I do miss a crowd. My house was pretty full, and it was great. It had its drawbacks sometimes, but overall I had a lot of fun at home."
"With your parents?"
"Yeah. The house isn't so full now though. My brothers and old sister have moved out. My little sister is the only kid left, but my grandparents moved in last summer. I guess it's about the same amount of bodies. And during holidays the house is at capacity."
"How many kids is that total?"
"Five, including me." Ueno noticed Aki hadn't touched his lunch, and passed him an orange slice. "You should eat, you know. Your brain doesn't function properly on an empty stomach. And you don't look like you have weight to spare." He glanced pointedly at Aki's slight form.
Aki blinked, and then hesitantly accepted the offered fruit. He answered without contemplating his response. "You sound like my mother." His immediate reply to Ueno's statement surprised him, as he was normally only referred to his own family reluctantly and vaguely. He tried not to mention anything that could possibly prompt further questioning. Talking about his family caused him too much irritation, and made him experience emotions that he couldn't readily identify, now more than ever. Besides, Ueno didn't need their biographies.
"You hear that a lot from your mom too? That's part of their job, you know. My mom and grandma love to feed people. That's how they love on you."
"I suppose." Aki stared at the fruit he still held between his fingers, as though trying to determine its identity. "I wasn't much of an eater, and it used to upset her."
"Hmm." Ueno cocked his head. "I don't see you as the type to stress your parents out. Maybe you would have rolled your eyes behind their backs, but you seem like you would have been such an obedient kid."
"Oh, yeah?" Aki absently began to munch on his orange slice. Laughable.
"Yeah. You don't seem like someone who tries to start trouble, at least."
Wow. Aki swallowed the citrus hard. Ueno couldn't have struck further from the bull's eye if he had tried. Then again, Aki's quiet temperament and submissive manner could have been what lead Ueno to that conclusion. The more Aki pondered that possibility, the more he believed that he probably gave that illusion to many.
"I guess not." Aki replied, flashing a smile that he hoped wouldn't be considered suspicious. "Although I'm sure you probably did."
Ueno laughed. It was a nice sound, and Aki had to give a genuine smile in response. "Of course I did. With two brothers and two sisters, I had to get her to notice me some kind of way. We all did it. She was so busy with everything that if you wanted her attention, you had to piss her off to get it. Unless you were sick or hurt. Then she ignored everyone else. When I broke my arm two summers ago…"
Aki was relieved that he had managed to successfully divert Ueno's attention away from him to a subject that was more comfortable for both of them. He also found the short stories Ueno told about the antics of him and his siblings enthralling. After all, they did culminate into the Ueno he knew now, who he was very interested in understanding. It wasn't fair for Aki to be fascinated with Ueno's past, but feel ashamed of his own, but he didn't the same fun, colorful childhood.
So Aki listened quietly and contentedly, surprised when he glanced at the wall clock and noticed that his break was almost over. "That went fast. It's almost time for class."
"Already?" Ueno appeared to not have noticed the time himself. "Back to work we go, I guess." He stuffed his notebook and pen into his messenger bag, preparing for the end of the day. He only had one class left, and then it was off to the downtown area in search of a job. As pumped up as he had been at the prospect of new employment earlier in the day, he found himself wishing their break could have lasted longer. This had been their first conversation that had seemed full, lacking the usual number of awkward lulls that had become normal for the two of them. An entire weekend would to go before their next chance to see one another. Ueno didn't mind being alone under normal circumstances, but it pulled at him that now that they seemed to be making talking more fluidly that it would be interrupted by a weekend. It would be a weekend, he hoped, that wouldn't increase the distance between them after the small bit of progress they had made.
Aki stood, sliding his chair back to its original location, and began collecting his books. To Ueno's relief, Aki appeared just as reluctant.
"Aki?"
Aki, who had begun using his injured arm to gingerly tuck his books under his good arm one at a time, raised his head. While he no longer needed the arm sling, he still had to be extremely careful, as his arm was still on the mend and unexpected or unplanned movements still caused him some pain. At Ueno's words, he stopped. "Yes?"
"Where is your next class? I'll walk you there." Ueno slung his messenger bag over his head, arranging the strap to lay across his chest, bag resting against his hip. He then stepped over to Aki's side of table, gathering the remaining books from the tabletop before plucking the others from under Aki's arm.
Gentleman. Aki smiled again, another genuine upward curve of his lips. He observed during several of their lunch time meetings that he was quick to offer up help, as if he felt it was his duty to assist. They were tender, sweet attempts, and Aki felt instinctively that Ueno's actions weren't forced, nor did they disguise any ulterior motive. Despite this, Aki couldn't help but recall when Ueno's caring nature and willingness to help anyone in need landed him in hot water, getting him fired from his job and in what Aki understood was probably a constant state of confusion.
Aki also couldn't help but simultaneously understand that it was Ueno's caring nature that saved him from his previous life. What a double edged sword. Aki shut off his inner dialogue, opened his mouth, and managed a quiet "Thank you".
Ueno shook his head, disregarding Aki's appreciation. "You're welcome." He gestured with his free arm towards the closest exit. "Lead the way."
Aki was positive that Ueno was naïve enough not to realize what type of image he was projecting. As far as Ueno was concerned, he was just helping out a friend with a bad arm carry his books to the next class. But it was that considerate, selfless behavior that was Aki's specific undoing. It unnerved him nearly two weeks ago, and it unnerved him today. Ueno had no idea what type of inner reactions his treatment of Aki invoked.
That was fine with Aki. Ueno would see him differently once he knew how fragile Aki's hold on his composure truly was. If Ueno suspected that the man he had sex with eleven days ago was an emotional wreck who didn't know how to accept a simple act of kindness or affection without overthinking the gesture, how would he react? What would he think if he ever discovered how Aki had previously spent his days and nights, of how he had come to live with Okada? Aki was sure that it would be the end of whatever they had together.
Aki almost laughed at his choice of words. He would do well to remember that just because Ueno had given him an experience that made him want to cling and confess all his sins, didn't mean that Ueno felt the same way felt the same wide-eyed wonderment. What they had shared that afternoon hadn't been consensual. Ueno had been a poor, unsuspecting party who had walked blindly into a calculated situation. People did all kinds of things when they were in shock and just because Ueno had complied didn't imply any feelings of attachment.
Even so, Aki found himself revisiting the situation briefly, wistfully, which he did often since he had met Ueno. If Ueno knew that Aki was still fantasizing about the sex, and more specifically, the kiss, he'd definitely be turned off.
He was startled from his inner musings when Ueno spoke.
"Hmm?" Aki's eyes widened briefly and he glanced at his changing surroundings, noting that they were fast approaching the building where Aki would attend his next class. Good old autopilot. He looked toward Ueno in confusion. "What did you say?"
"Do you think you'll finish editing your paper this weekend?" Ueno examined Aki closely, his eyes narrowing in concern. "Are you feeling well? Still hungry? A piece of an orange definitely isn't enough to-"
"O-of course. I'm fine." Aki forced a smile; one which he noticed did not alleviate Ueno's evident concern. If anything, his frown deepened. "Really. And yes. I should be able to finish. Why? Are you good at editing?"
"I do well enough." Momentarily distracted, he rooted in his back pocket with his free hand. "Do you have a phone?"
"I do."
"Do you want my number? You can call me this weekend if you need any help."
Aki watched as Ueno produced a cellular phone from his back pocket. "Sure. I might need some help." He pulled out his own phone, hoped fervently that his glee wasn't visible, and punched in the numbers that Ueno recited before selecting the save option and beginning to enter the contact name.
He keyed in the name "Ueno", and then froze. Aki looked up at Ueno, fingers hovering over the keys.
Ueno stared back at Aki, dumbfounded. "What?"
"Well-um..."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know your full name." Aki turned his gaze to the pavement.
Ueno appeared startled as well, and began to laugh. It was a deep sound that came directly from his middle and robbed him of his breath. He braced one hand on his knee, as if it took too much effort to stand.
To say Aki was dismayed was an understatement. Was Ueno laughing at him? However, as Aki debated whether to simply run to class without his supplies or try to wrench his textbooks from Ueno's grip using only one arm, Ueno quickly sobered, clearing his throat.
"I'm sorry, Aki. It's funny to me, because I've thought about that myself. We've never formally introduced ourselves, have we? This is nuts."
Our privates are well acquainted, but that's about it. Aki looked up, and all he saw in Ueno's eyes was mirth, mixed with ever-present kindness. He relaxed as he realized, once again, that Ueno wasn't looking down on him or mocking him. Aki slowly noticed the humor in the situation as well. No, they had never formally introduced themselves to each other. They had never done anything formally. "We haven't."
"Here, let me have your phone for a minute. I'll program my information in, and you can do mine." Ueno offered Aki his cell phone, and plucked Aki's from his pale fingers. They were both silent as they tapped out their own contact information and swapped phones again.
"There." Ueno said, satisfaction apparent in his voice as he pocketed his phone. "We've been introduced. That wasn't so bad, was it? Where is your classroom? I don't want you to be late."
Aki reached for the books Ueno still cradled under his arm, but Ueno made a clucking sound in his throat and stepped forward, opening the door to the building and nodding at Aki to proceed. He couldn't help but smile as he led the way to his classroom. Ueno followed Aki into the room, waited from him to get seated, and deposited his books on the desk.
"Your stuff is kind of heavy. Get a bag." Ueno told him, returning the waves of a few of the students he was familiar with in the classroom, failing to notice the curious stares. "That is, unless you want to hurt your good arm too. We can't have that." His smile was full of good humor.
"Your advice is well taken," Aki's cocky, crooked smile was back for the first time that day, "and for your help today."
"Yup." Ueno opened his mouth to elaborate, but thought the better of it and turned to the door. "I'll see you."
"See you." Aki echoed, staring at the shut door with a bit of melancholy. Ueno had very likely left skid marks on the polished floor at the speed he left the room.
His class didn't begin for another few minutes, so he opened up his cell phone and searched for Ueno's contact information, the corner of his lip quirking upward as he located it. It was stupid to feel giddy over learning someone's name, right? Aki pondered this briefly, but his excitement remained.
Phone use was strictly prohibited during class, so he made to turn off the power, but noticed he had received a text message from none other than the object of his thoughts. The message was short and to the point, but after reading it, Aki's face was wreathed in a gentle smile during the entire class. Even after he turned off the phone, the message replayed itself in his thoughts, and each time it did, his smile briefly widened, and he was fearful his cheeks would be sore the rest of the day.
"Nice to meet you." It wasn't exactly flirting, but hell, it was something. Satou Aki, sex slave turned college student, was geeked out over a text message. A non-sexy, basic, introductory text message. Maybe when he got home he'd roll around in his bed and re-read the thing about fifty times, squealing into his pillow and kicking at his mattress. This sensation was nice, sweet, fun. So despite how silly he must have looked to his fellow classmates, he ran his fingers over the screen, murmuring quietly to himself. "Nice to meet you too, Kuchida Ueno." He liked the flavor of it on his lips, and hoped he'd be able to taste it over and over again.
