A/N: I hope you all are well. Stay safe and healthy during these times.


Chapter 4 ~ Tears in the face of dawn

It had been a long time since I last visited this part of the world. The old world... I did not have many fond memories of that region and it was not because of nature. My love for the wide forests and fertile valleys, which alternated with hills and mountains, ran deep inside me. But it was the inhabitants – the immortal inhabitants – who had wanted to make my time here a hell a long time ago. That you should not necessarily annoy a young vampire who had managed to escape from his maker by killing him was something that many had to experience painfully and without a chance to regret their mistake.

Now I was here again, although admittedly not completely voluntarily, and I felt that I was not welcome to many. Especially Dragan's hatred for me was constantly rolling in waves from his mind and I was not at all surprised. Nowadays, I might act differently, but back then, his uncle just did not know when to shut up – until I closed his mouth for good...

Well, now I was here for him. I had always thought Dragan Markaitis was a small fish. Surely, he was power hungry and had wanted to get involved in politics for centuries. But his influence was minimal and limited to that part of Eastern Europe that he called his. I did not really like it, and I did not usually take on this kind of job, playing the executioner. It reminded me too much that I was once Death who I no longer wanted to be. But in this case I had had no choice – when she called, I followed. For she did not do it lightly; too great was the danger that the generally well-balanced power structure of the elder vampires in the old and new world could get mixed up if she interfered too often.

All the more interesting had been the accusation, which I was charged with punishing. Had he really been able to create a half vampire? With this question I had come here and had found my friend's strong suspicion confirmed which he had duly forwarded.

Human folklore romantically assumes that – normally – a male vampire would have impregnated a human woman to create such a being. The Council of the Ancients saw no danger in letting humans believe this. What they did see as a danger, however, were real half vampires, those who could actually be created by carelessness or simply bad luck in the process of transformation. They were really rare. I only knew of three who had walked on earth since my own involuntary turning. All three had been eliminated as soon as they were discovered. Because for the rest of the vampire society they represented a great danger – one had been able to walk in daylight and another had been immune to silver. It had been pure luck that they were still young and their makers could not use them with these special abilities against other vampires to gain more power when they had been revealed. The third, a middle-aged woman, who had been a witch in her mortal life and probably for this reason alone had not been able to complete the turning process properly, had already been tracked down by her Excellency in her first night and eliminated by Athena Tatarou.

"Have a nice day's rest, Livia. We will meet again when the moonlight illuminates the night."

The next night would be bloody. That was certain. But whether one or two lives would be extinguished was yet to be decided. But unfortunately not by me. I had already reported all my findings to Athena and now I had to rely on the Greek vampiress to forward everything so accurately to her Excellency that it would turn out well for the young woman. I hoped that she would be spared, because she was different from the other half vampires through history and I was sure that she could be integrated into our society. But all this would be resolved the following night.

For now, following Livia's advice, I programmed my personal code into the security system of my rooms and then went to the east facing window to welcome the sun. The achievements of the modern age mostly produced nonsense, which no human really needed and all too often contributed to the destruction of the environment. But sometimes they were really helpful. Sometimes they created a small oasis of memory. Like in this moment when, after more than two millennia, I could finally pay tribute again to the driving force of all life on this planet with the respect with which I had grown up in my tribe...

While the warmth on my skin slowly became more and more intense without me starting to burn, I decided to definitely do some renovation work at my home back in Dallas. I was also sure that I could convince Eric to do the same. Oh, my Eric... I clearly felt that he too was still awake and enjoying the sun. With a smirk, I realized that he was naked too when I felt the tingling of warmth on the skin of his lower body parts through our bond. I saw him literally with my inner eye – my proud warrior, standing upright with outstretched arms and paying homage to the sun as his gods had created him.

It was a great feeling, truly overwhelming and I wanted to enjoy it together with him. I knew that he would find me without any problems and called him to me. For a brief moment I felt the faint echo of his confusion as he found himself disturbed in his sunbathing, but then our connection literally exploded with his joy and desire so that the wonderfully warm feeling of the sun started spreading through my inner self into every cell of my body. I barely heard the door open and close and then he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my upper body while I felt him putting his chin gently on my head. I led my hands glide on his and together we stood motionless and watched in familiar silence as the sun rose over the horizon. It was a glorious sight and I felt a few tears slide down my cheek, so overwhelmed was I at that moment. It was like when he showed me the northern lights for the first time during the long winter months and we could not get away from that beautiful sight for hours. Now I had another event that I shared with my Eric and would never be able to forget.

When my proud Viking stirred a felt eternity later, he did not let go of me, but let his face pass my ear while he slowly turned me towards him in his arms. Then he let his tongue slide from my chin over my cheek and took me back into himself after all this time when he licked up my tears.

That triggered the same profound and possessive feeling in me like when I had listened to his ever slower beating heart so long ago. This proud, stoic, unbending warrior, whose silver tongue could steal himself into the hearts of all exactly like Loki, if he wanted to... He was mine. My greatest discovery and dearest companion. It was just a small gesture, a gentle turn of his head, but I knew what he was offering. With a warm feeling of anticipation, I opened my lips and let my fangs slide out. The throaty growl that he ejected as a result awakened my instincts and I buried my face in the crook of his neck. As my teeth pierced his skin and his blood began to flow into my mouth, his arms closed tighter around me and I bent my head so that he too would understand my intention. But he hesitated, always respectfully waiting...

Feed

It had been a long time since we had strengthened our bond, but I sent my urge into every fiber of his body and with a lusty roar his teeth automatically sank into my skin.

The feeling to merge into someone and become completely one with her or him, to share your soul with someone and to let another creature look into the deepest abysses of yourself, required courage, to a certain extent callousness and... it made any attempt to describe it impossible. My Eric had once kept a diary in his early years after we had learned to read and write together. After trying for nights on end to describe the process of his turning and his feelings and failing miserably, he had torn out all the pages of the book and had burned them because he had been fairly frustrated. Today he knew that he would never forget the experience and that he did not need written records to remember. And he also knew that he could relive it with me at any time. Granted, it was highly unusual that progenies became so attached to their makers that they were in favor of these small rebirths. Personally, I knew only a handful of vampires who had such a close maker-progeny relationship. But my Eric was unique in every way. And he came from a time and culture that swore loyalty unto death. In his case, loyalty to Death.

Skin to skin, I felt not only how our bond began to pulsate through the mixing of our blood and I came closer to him in thought, but also how our lust ignited. My Viking was still too much in blood delirium and kept on drinking like a starving man dying of thirst, so that I started to rub our bodies together on my own. Thereupon such a throaty and pleasant rumbling shook our connection that I could not help but smile against his skin. But my initiated movements did not seem to sober him up again, but to drive him even further into his bloodlust, which he only dared to indulge in while in my presence. Without warning he lifted me up and sat me on the windowsill while coming to stand between my legs. I closed my eyes with pleasure and enjoyed the sun's rays, which instantly warmed my back a lot more at the same time as his blood still caressed every taste bud in my mouth.

After minutes – what felt like wonderful hours later – when our ministrations had brought us both to the edge of saturation not only mentally but also physically, I felt the need to kiss him and let go of his neck. He followed my movement almost simultaneously and I cupped his face and gave my Eric the kiss I wanted. Slowly, tenderly… We could both taste each other again und it was fantastic. Then I let my tongue slide around one of his fangs and that not only let him come but also claw at me, because otherwise he would have gone down on his knees. He did that anyway after a few moments and put his head on my thigh, closing his eyes. For a few more minutes we stayed like that and just enjoyed the silence in the house, the sun in my back and on a few parts of his face and that we had each other. Words were not necessary; we understood each other in such perfect naturalness that no one could understand who had not also connected so perfectly with someone.

"Let me let you come, too..." Eric's whispered words reached me, but I only laughed softly.

"Maybe tomorrow night. I sense you are barely on your feet, my stubborn Viking. Go lock yourself up or lie down with me if you want to stay here, Eric."

He raised his head and looked at me, but before he could say anything, I felt what he wanted to say.

"No buts. The sun is too high already and you are not yet old enough to defy the bleeds."

"Why is it not important to you? Am I no longer able to satisfy you?"

With my eyebrows raised in question, I sighed while pulling him against my chest and stroking his hair.

"My ever-stubborn Eric... I am closer to you than to any other being in this world. We just reconnected our souls and I felt what you felt. We are one in two different bodies. How can you think that you would not satisfy me? What we have is the most intimate thing that any species is capable of. I can have a physical orgasm with anyone else, but you give me so much more."

"Min fader..." I felt his moved affection and it was clear to me that Eric wanted to say more, but his voice failed him.

"Ja, min Erik. Fader, broder, son. Din följeslagare för evigt genom världen, genom mörkret. Det lovade jag dig." (1)

A short tremor went through his body and I automatically locked him even tighter into my arms. We could have stayed like this for hours, but I knew that my warrior did not like to show his feelings for a long time. Not even to me. I also felt that he was getting more and more tired with every minute...

"But tell me, my child, why have we not installed such windows in our homes until now?"

This brought me a silent laugh that vibrated through my skin wherever our bodies were connected.

"It seems we have lost touch with modernity. Or we are simply growing old and senile."

When he looked at me smiling, his eyes shone in the light of the sun and I had the feeling that my dead heart could burst with love for him. But from one second to the next, the moment was gone. A short, but so deeply shocked scream echoed through the mansion that my blood froze in my veins.

My grand-progeny once told me about a young vampire who had insulted Eric by implying that he had become soft and was no longer a real Viking. One might now assume my Eric had killed him for such insolence. But you would be wrong. What most humans and also modern vampires seemed to forget or suppress constantly is the fact that all living beings evolve during their lives. It is not at all possible not to develop further through new impressions, impulses and ideas, which one absorbs and processes every day. Well, what did my Eric do now to this vampire? My Viking had remembered his good old days, had smiled at the doomed man and let his shield-maiden set the deathblow. Because for anyone who thinks that a Viking would not let the women around him be trained with a sword, had fallen into the trap of manipulating venerable 19th century masters, who completely suppressed the role of women in the culture of seafaring warriors, and had also switched off his own reason. Our Pamela enjoyed it in any case. Because, unfortunately, nowadays there were not many enemies left to hunt down with a good old sword and so she could not apply what she had learned from her maker too often.

Nevertheless, my Eric was still a warrior through and through and just like me he was immediately on alert, all sleepiness forgotten. Even before the echo of the scream had completely died away, we both stood in the hallway in front of the door to my rooms and stretched our senses to determine from where the scream had come from.

"Livia!"

"Yes, it was her voice."

"Do you think Dragan has punished her for something?"

It was amazing. Eric knew why I was here, knew about my mission. And yet, in those last hours, he had let himself be so captivated by the young half vampiress that his voice dripped with worry. Had the situation not been so serious, I would have teased him. Women and their tears had always been his only weakness. With a sigh I shook my head and decided to talk to him about it later.

"No, because if he had punished her, we would not have known. She has become too strong and proud to show any pain from a punishing."

I listened on and heard several distant sobs. The sounds were strangely reflected off the walls and that gave me a clue where we could look.

"Go and put some clothes on. I expect you back here immediately."

With that I turned myself around, was in the bathroom the next second and – except for my boots – put the clothes back on that I had put on the chair next to this outrageously large whirlpool. Then I was back in the hallway and looked at Eric's smiling face.

"You're getting slow, old man," he teased me fully clothed. But I was not in the mood to answer.

"Come."

On our way to the kitchen, we found the mansion was deserted. Well, the vampires were all in their rooms, but where were the human employees? On the other hand, we were glad not to run into anyone, because the knowledge that my bloodline could defy the sun to some degree was to be kept a secret. I was sure that the Pythoness knew, but with her I was sure that she would never betray us. Unfortunately, this way we could not ask anyone for directions and needed a few minutes to follow the noises. For this mansion was a maze of corridors that suddenly seemed to end in nothing or led somewhere else than we intended to go.

When we finally reached the kitchen I was not really surprised – for such an insanely big villa, in former times, one surely needed all kinds of kitchen staff to serve the noble society. And so even today it was still a huge open room surrounded by a higher mezzanine where Eric and I could now stay unnoticed. Because the attention of all the people down there was focused on Livia, who was kneeling motionless in the middle with her back to us. When I saw the reason for this, my breath stopped for a moment and I quickly grabbed Eric's arm so that he wouldn't do anything stupid. I felt his arm muscles tighten under my hand but he had understood the warning and remained silently by my side. Because no matter in which form, she was a half vampire, his angry growl would have definitely be heard by Livia.

"I'm so sorry..." I heard one of the serving boys sobbing. With my eyes narrowed, I stared at the scene below us and realized that it was one of the two who had stood near the French brothers just before Livia and I had retired to my rooms.

Now she was wearing a simple cut dark blue dress and held the boy Kjell in her arms. As far as I could tell, he was not wearing any clothes and his eyes were closed. He would have looked peaceful if it was not for his bloodstained legs and a gaping wound at his neck. Deep inside I felt an irrepressible rage rising up and I knew that this powerful feeling came from Eric. It had been fascinating to watch how my Eric had reacted to a boy who came from the country of his birth. And now this boy was dead and I could imagine what was going on in my progeny right now. I loosened the grip of my hand around his arm and placed it over his heart in silent understanding. His enormous inner turmoil thinned a little and gave way to a deep sadness. He nodded to me briefly and together we waited to find out what had happened.

But Livia seemed to be frozen and did not move at all for endless minutes. She just held the boy and knelt with her head bowed in the midst of apparently all the employees. Would she break? Yes, she was strong, but I had seen how much she cared about the welfare of her subordinates. And they all seemed to respect her. No one disturbed the time she obviously needed to gather herself. After a felt eternity, in which I already started to worry about Eric that he would not be able to defy the sun any longer, she lifted her head and addressed the young man who had obviously carried Kjell into the kitchen – his hands, arms and clothes were covered in blood everywhere.

"What happened, Lex? Why wasn't Kjell in the kitchen like I told him to be?"

Her voice was soft and quiet, as if she was completely unaffected by the situation. But her tense posture and the ice-cold determination that emanated from her spoke for itself.

"A few minutes after you left, mistress, the brothers spoke to the master. Louis and I immediately tried to distract them while we were still in the banquet hall. But they only laughed and wanted to take Kjell into their room as well. The master agreed, and after a quick examination, he tore the boy's clothes off and threw him right in front of the two of them!"

"He knew they would kill him!"

"The children were off limit until today!"

"How could he do that?

More and more voices became loud and verbally expressed their sadness and anger. Then the young man, Lex, spoke on and all of a sudden I felt a red veil coming down on my senses.

"They glamoured him so he would be calm and not cry out when they..."

Suddenly I heard a static noise that got louder by the second, my throat tightened painfully and if I had been mortal, I was sure I would have broken out in a sweat and my condition would have been described as a panic attack. Without a doubt he felt my brittle condition, for I suddenly found myself in Eric's arms, which he closed tightly around me and gently pressed my head into his neck. Gratefully, I sucked his scent into my lungs with deep breaths, trying not to lose my grip on reality as the tragedy was retold. Gratefully, I only heard fragments of it thanks to the annoying static noise, but even these were enough to bring back the horror that I had experienced as a child and youth in captivity.

"Where is Louis?" I heard an elderly woman with an apron and her face streaming with tears ask.

"After they had raped him, Kjell had drifted into a catatonic state. At first I thought it was good for the boy, but it made the vampires very angry. For their own amusement they glamoured Louis to cut open Kjell's thighs. They said it was a fantastic sight, watching the blood run down while they alternately drained him. Louis... I sedated him because I was afraid he might hurt himself. His eyes... I'm afraid he won't make it if the memory isn't taken away from him.

"I understand."

To keep my grip, I still had my eyes closed and only the rustling of her clothes told me that Livia had gotten up from her crouched position.

"I will try to convince one of the... friendlier vampires to help him. If I fail, we will have another victim."

She could not glamour humans? That was unusual. Until now, all half vampires had had this ability. It was shameful, but thinking about this topic pragmatically helped me to calm down again and to push my horrific memories back into the corner of my consciousness where they had been for centuries and had left me alone. I would later have to think about why it had come over me just now.

"Is everyone else present but Louis?" Livia's question was devoid of emotion and I felt pity for her. This was not how her day was supposed to start. No matter what would happen the next night, her kind nature did not deserve such an experience.

"Nila is still upstairs," replied the young woman who had taken the capes and coats from the arriving guests. "This isn't like her. Is she-"

"No. I feel her. She's just sleeping. Should Mr. Northman have activated the security system, she'll have to spend the day in his rooms. There's nothing we can do about that now."

I quietly moved away from Eric a bit and when our eyes met, I saw the relentless desire in his eyes to rip someone's heart out. Apparently, not only he had held me, but I had also held and given him strength to resist that desire. Without words, however, I promised him that at the end of the next night he would be able to take care of the two brothers undisturbed. In a gesture of understanding, we then laid our foreheads together and observed a minute's silence for the boy.

"Karina, please go and bring Kjell his best clothes. The rest of you know what we will do."

Livia's words caught my attention. Does that mean that the boy was not the first dead one under Livia's care? The crowd of people started to move below our mezzanine floor. But it was not a disorderly chaos that broke out, but rather a silent knowledge of what was coming and acting accordingly. Less than five minutes later the young woman was back with Kjell's clothes and had helped to dress him, after his skin had been cleaned from the blood. Then a wide circle formed around Livia once more, who had taken him in her arms again. When Eric and I looked down carefully, we saw that almost everyone was holding simple drums in their hands.

"Let us pay our last respects to our brother and friend." With these words from the young half vampiress, the crowd started to move forward and slowly slipped out of the kitchen until the last one closed the door and we were no longer in danger of being discovered.

Eric looked at me pleadingly and I too felt the need to attend the funeral at least from a distance. Together we followed the procession and when we arrived at a large window in an aisle and saw that the procession was already on the outside and heading towards a lake not far away, it was clear that the sun did not burn Livia. And this fact alone would make it difficult to obtain a pardon for her. A being with the powers of a vampire who was not bound to the night was the greatest danger for all other nightwalkers. With a sigh I closed my eyes in disappointment for a moment until I felt Eric's hand on my shoulder.

"I feel that you are caring to her. Perhaps the Pythoness will be merciful."

"Let us hope so."

Then the wind suddenly brought the sounds of the drums to us and Eric froze when Livia's voice reached our ears too. It was not a simple standard dirge that she sang to him and was accompanied by almost a hundred drums, but a song I had never heard before. Her voice full of sadness she sang while holding the boy and I did nothing but listen to her for the next few minutes.

Kven skal synge meg
i daudsvevna slynge meg
når eg på helvegen går
og dei spora eg trår
er kalde, så kalde

Eg songane søkte
Eg songane sende
då den djupaste brunni
gav meg dråpar så ramme
av Valfaders pant

Alt veit eg Odin
kvar du auge løynde

Kven skal synge meg
i daudsvevna slynge meg
når eg på helvegen går
og dei spora eg trår
er kalde så kalde

Årle ell i dagars hell
enn veit ravnen om eg fell

Når du ved helgrindi står
og når laus deg må rive
skal eg fylgje deg
yver gjallarbrui med min song

Du blir løyst frå banda som bind deg!
Du er løyst frå banda som batt deg!

"Deyr fé, deyja frændr,
deyr sjalfr it sama,
en orðstírr deyr aldregi,
hveim er sér góðan getr.

Deyr fé, deyja frændr,
deyr sjalfr it sama,
ek veit einn,
at aldrei deyr:
dómr um dauðan hvern."

"Wardruna..."

A barely audible whispered word came to my ear with the last sounds of the drums and I opened my eyes to see my Eric standing with the fist of his right hand over his heart.

"I understood the words she was singing, but... what do you mean by this word?"

"This song is called Helvegen and is from the Norwegian group Wardruna. But the last two verses are from Håvamål in Edda. The boy must have liked this music for her to sing it at his funeral."

He gave me this information without any audible emotion and I knew and felt through our connection that the words of the song, although modern, reminded him of his own past.

"Come, Eric. Let's let the people say their goodbyes. We need our strength for the next night."

From the corner of my eye I saw him nodding as I watched Livia walk into the lake with the boy heading toward a small island. All the others had stopped on the shore and were drumming a slow and quiet rhythm.

"Bara ett ögonblick, far. Vi kan inte vända oss nu. Det skulle kränka hans själ." (2)

He was not ready and with a look into his seawater-colored eyes I realized that he would stand there until the end of it, even if the sun would finally bring him to his knees. This was made clear by his use of his mother tongue. So be it...

Silently I nodded to him as a sign that I agreed and continued following what happened at and in the water. Meanwhile Livia had reached the small island, which consisted only of a large flat rock, and was laying the boy on the ground with deliberate movements. Then she took a long piece of fabric from a small bag that she was carrying around her hip and which I had not noticed before, and draped it in a semicircle around the body. When she then took two stones out of her bag, I knew what she was going to do.

"Gjest i Dáinns sal til nornar spinn deg ny ein tråd. Av vind er du kommen. Til vind skal du bli." (3)

Eric said his goodbye when Livia lit the fabric. Then she slowly walked backwards three steps away from the island, creating small waves and watched the mortal body of the boy Kjell be consumed by the flames. By now the drums had stopped and we all watched in silence. I did not count the minutes, for it did not matter. Should I notice that my strength was weaker at the beginning of the next night I would accept the offer of our hostess and drink from one of the serving maids.

When the fire slowly died down eventually, the sun was high in the sky and with a sigh Eric closed his eyes and wavered a little as he turned to me.

"Did you activate the security system of your rooms, my child?"

His body relaxed visibly and I clasped his arms to steady him and pull him with me. His head sank onto my shoulder and I felt him shaking his head.

"Good, then the woman can come out when she wakes up. You are coming with me."

Without wasting time, I sped us into my rooms and let Eric sink onto the wide bed. I returned once more to the door for a moment, locked it, activated the system and then crawled into bed with my progeny who was already sleeping his daydeath. For a moment I looked at my Viking, to whom I had promised revenge, only to close my eyes myself. Sadness and a small weak feeling of hope fought for supremacy in me, when with a last thought I saw Livia's innocent smile in front of my inner eye, before the sun put me to daydeath too.


(1) Yes, my Erik. Father, brother, son. Forever your companion through the world, through the darkness. I promised you that.

(2) Just a moment, father. We cannot turn away now. It would offend his soul.

(3) Guest in Dáinn's hall until Norns spin you a new thread. From wind you were brought forth. By wind you will be brought back. (Um heilage fjell – Wardruna)

Helvegen - Wardruna

Who will sing me
Into the death-sleep sling me
When I walk the road to Hel
And the tracks I tread
Are cold, so cold

I sought the songs
I sent the songs
When the deepest well
Offered drops so mighty
Of Valfather's pledge

I know it all, Odin
Where you hid your eye

Early or in fading day
Still the raven knows if I fall

When you stand by the gate of Hel
And when you must tear loose
Follow you I shall
Across the bridge of Gjöll
With my song

You will be free from the bonds that bind you!
You are free from the bonds that bound you!

[Håvamål - The High Ones' Speech, Poetic Edda – verses 75 and 76]

Cattle die, kinsmen die
You yourself will also die
But the word about you will never die
If you win a good reputation

Cattle die, kinsmen die
You yourself will also die
I know one thing that never dies
The reputation of those who died