AN: Sorry this chapter is a little short. I'm going to try and get another one to you guys soon. It's just a cute little fluff chapter. Hope you enjoy!
I didn't stick around to see what happened next. In the heat of the moment, it was all too much for me. I was having flashbacks of the darkest part of my life, and I just couldn't handle it. Maybe everything was still to fresh in my mind. Maybe months of therapy hadn't prepared me to move across the country to a large city to find a life of my own. New York was supposed to be my escape, but what if it wasn't?
Alice was yelling my name, but I moved too quickly for her to catch up to me. Outside, the cold air washed over me and I took a deep breath. People in line watched me curiously as I looked up and down the sidewalk, trying to decide what my next move would be.
A flash of yellow caught my eye, and I waved down the cab as it rushed towards me. I got in and gave the driver my address, and once he was speeding off down the busy streets, I felt a little more at ease. I'd never been one for drama, so why was it following me everywhere I went? I think that a lot of it came down to the choices that I had been making as of late. When I was with Alice, she made me want to live a little freer, and enjoy the moment. Was that such a bad thing? I was starting to think that it might've been.
The cab came to a stop, pulling me from my thoughts. I handed the driver cash and got out, looking up at the towering student apartment complex that I was supposed to call home for the next four years. It didn't feel very much like home right now...
The cool metal barrel of the gun was pressed against my temple. I squeezed my eyes shut, more tears streaming down my face. This was it. This was the end.
"Oh my little Bella-Bee. Don't cry." I could feel his thumb brush across my cheek in attempts to wipe the tears away. "You can make this all go away. All you have to do is tell me you'll stay. Tell me that you love me." He cooed. His voice no longer comforted me like it once had.
"I.. I.. I..." My entire body was shaking and I wondered if I should just tell him what he wanted to hear. If it meant living, even in captivity, then maybe it would all be worth it.
"You know I'm not a patient man, Bella." His voice was rougher now as he pressed the gun harder into my head.
"Jake, I.." A loud sound came from upstairs, drawing his attention away from me. He stood up straight and headed for the stairs, determined to investigate whatever was going on. He looked at me one last time before disappearing through the door.
And then several gunshots rang out.
"C'mon, Bella. Wake up.. You're okay. Just wake up.." The feminine voice much different than the one that haunted my dreams was enough to pull me back to reality.
I blinked several times trying to get things in focus and I awoke, and my eyes settled on a frighted looking Alice who was trying her best to offer up a comforting smile. Standing behind her was a solemn looking Jasper, looking down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, probably feeling like he was intruding.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to disturb you.." I knew why she'd woken me. And I was sure that they'd come back here to enjoy a peaceful night uninterrupted by screams of terror.
"You're fine. We just got here. I wanted to come check on you before we went back to Jasper's, and I'm glad I did. Are you okay?" Alice asked, sitting down on the edge of my bed.
"Yeah.. I'm, uh, fine." I said, pushing myself up into a sitting position. "Just had a bad dream."
She nodded her head slowly, watching me curiously as if she knew that there was more to the story that what I was letting on.
"Well.. alright. Do you need anything before we go.. I think that Edward was getting you..." Her voice trailed off when Edward appeared in the doorway holding a glass of milk that I was sure he'd warmed up. I couldn't even bring myself to look in his direction.
Alice noticed, because she leaned in and gave me a hug, whispering in my ear. "Talk to him. He feels awful... about everything." When she pulled away, she gave me a knowing smile. "Mike doesn't deserve you." She said louder now, not caring who heard that part. With that, she stood and took Jasper's hand, leading him out of the room and leaving Edward and I alone.
There were several moments of tense silence before I heard him move towards the bed. He sat down on the very edge and held the glass out to me without saying anything.
"Thank you.." I said quietly, taking it from him. I took a small sip and then set it off to the side, finally looking up at him. He was facing slightly away from me, so I could only see his profile, but it was clear from his expression that he was struggling with something.
After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke.
"I'm sorry for what I said.. both several weeks ago and tonight. That was wrong of me." His words sounded genuine, if not a little strained. I got the impression that he wasn't one to apologize often.
"It's okay." I said softly, reaching out and giving his arm a squeeze so that he knew that I accepted his apology.
"I don't think that you're stupid. I just don't want to see you get hurt." Finally he looked at me, and there was something in his eyes that I couldn't decipher.
"Why? It's not like I'm anyone close to you." I pointed out.
"You're Alice's best friend. Sure, she has girls that's she's know her whole life, but they use her. You don't. You genuinely care about my sister, and her well-being. You genuinely want to be a friend to her." Maybe that was all true, but there was more than he was telling me.
"Edward..." I urged, desperate to know what was going on inside to head; to know why he was always so angry with my actions.
"And.. Jesus, I don't know. Seeing you cry made me feel awful. And when you snapped at me, that didn't feel good either. I don't know how I feel about you.." He admitted. "But it's different then how I feel about everyone else. I can't explain it."
"Then why are you so mean to me?" I asked quietly.
"Because pushing you away is easier.." He said, looking away from me now.
"Easier than what?" I demanded. After all these weeks, I deserved answers.
"My life is complicated, Bella." He explained. "And involving you.. trying to figure out what these feelings are.. It would.."
"Just make it more complicated." I finished for him, nodding my head. "I get it." I didn't explain to him that things were complicated for me too, and that now probably wasn't the right time to be exploring feelings that I wasn't even sure I had.. It wasn't as if I owed him anything, really. I wasn't the one who had been acting awful.
"Yeah.." He hung his head, no longer looking at me.
A silence settled over us, neither of us knowing what to say next. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he broke it.
"What causes your nightmares?" He asked, and I could hear the genuine concern in his voice.
"My past." It took several moments for me to collect my thoughts and form an answer that I was comfortable with.
"Is that the same reason that you froze when I grabbed your arm?" He asked.
"It is." I confirmed, nodding slowly.
"I'm really sorry, Bella." He said softly, rubbing his face with his hands. He looked like a man who knew he'd messed up, but wasn't sure how to fix it.
"It's okay. It's not your fault." I reassured him.
It's mine. I didn't say the words out loud. This wasn't something I wanted to discuss with him. Not now anyways, and I wasn't sure that I'd ever feel close enough to him to discuss the darkest part of my life.
"You should get some sleep.." He sighed, moving to stand up, but I reached out and caught his sleeve, and he looked at me, surprised.
"Would you stay until I fall asleep, like last time?" I asked. I couldn't help but remember the peaceful sleep that I'd fallen into after Edward had awoken me from my first nightmare here and stayed with me through the night. His expression softened then and a half smile played on his lips.
"Yeah, I can do that." He said. Making himself comfortable on my bed, he grabbed the remote and clicked my TV on to find something to watch.
I laid down and got comfortable, pulling my comforter tightly around myself. I don't even remember closing my eyes, but I do remember a feeling of safety as I drifted off.
It was late in the morning when I woke up, and Edward was, unsurprisingly, gone.
As I got out of bed, the memories from the night before flooded my mind and I couldn't help but .feel a little heartbroken over Mike. It was my own fault, though. I hadn't been ready to move on like I thought, and to be fair, Edward had warned me. I had just chosen not to listen.
I decided to give myself a day to wallow. That was normal, right? Even if it wasn't, I deserved it in my mind anyways.
First order of business: junk food. Wandering out to the kitchen, ice cream for breakfast sounded like a fabulous idea. But I stopped short when I saw a large box sitting on the kitchen counter. Peering inside of it, I found that it was filled with an assortment of chips, chocolates, and other sugary snacks. There was a card laying on top as well with my name on it.
Opening it, it was a generic flower picture on the front, and someone had written on the inside.
Feel better.
-E.
P.S. Check the freezer.
Wow. This was completely unexpected considering our conversation last night.
I did as the card said and went to the freezer, pulling it open. There were five new pints of Ben and Jerry's in assorted flavors, but all containing some sort of chocolate. I felt my heart melt. So he could be sweet when he wanted to. Perhaps it was possible for Edward and I to become friends. It was a thought that I pondered as I gather all my snacks and headed back to my room to binge sappy romantic movies.
