Chapter 20

TRIS

"You're gonna be okay, baby," I sob like a child, frantically rubbing Tobias' dark hair over and over again until it lies smooth and flat on his head. He's unconscious and lying face up in the back of the truck. My knees are most likely bruised; they're sore from all the times I've landed on them as the truck speeds on the uneven road, but I don't get up.

I press a kiss to Tobias' forehead just as we take a hard turn toward Dauntless, and before the truck even comes to a complete stop, it's suddenly surrounded by soldiers dressed in full gear. I hear a familiar voice screaming orders and I can't help but throw my head back and sob a little harder.

From this point forward, Tobias' life is in Derek's hands.

"Get him out of the truck. Now! They're waiting for him," Derek shouts and then all of a sudden there are several pairs of hands on me, ripping me away from Tobias.

I grab on to his bloody shirt, and then his arms and his feet as they pull me away from him. "No!" I yell, but no one listens. I try to fight them off even though I'm sure they'd knock me unconscious before they ever let me go. I kick one of the men in his kneecap and just as he raises a heavy fist in the air, Derek viciously orders, "Let her go!" and he pulls me away from them.

I don't bother to thank him. Instead, I quickly jump out of the truck and try to follow behind the men who are carrying my severely injured husband inside Dauntless, but Derek grabs my arm and pulls me back. "Let go of me!" I yell at him.

"Tris, you need to come with me," he answers softly, but his grip on my arm is so firm I can feel my fingers going numb. I swing my head around to look at him and I notice his green eyes look darker than usual.

"I have to go with him," I say through my teeth, barely able to speak at all.

"You can't," Derek answers calmly, but his eyes are filled with more worry than I had expected, and something else I don't recognize. "He's going into emergency surgery. I promise we'll keep you updated on his condition, but you cannot go with him."

My shoulders sink and I feel like the entire world rests on them. I want to be by Tobias' side, I want to hold his hand through all of this. I feel like maybe somehow he will know I'm there, he'll be able to feel me and he'll fight harder to come back to me. But I also know I'm fighting a losing battle.

As my body accepts defeat, it relaxes, and I feel Derek gently slide his hand down my right arm. Before I realize what he's doing, he closes the cold, metal cuff around it.

I look down at my arm and then up at him. "Where are you taking me? A cell?"

He sighs. "I don't want to have to do this, Tris… but you know I do."

"You don't," I shake my head at him with tears running down my cheeks. "You're the head of security. You could do whatever you want." And he could, even with all the soldiers here waiting to take me away. If he ordered it, I could very well sleep in my own apartment tonight after they escorted me there.

"What I want is to find out the truth, and you and Four are our main suspects in whatever the fuck is going on out there with the factionless. I can't just let you walk away… as much as I would want to."

"Don't bullshit me, Derek," I snarl, and then willingly I give him my other arm. There's no point in fighting him on this. I have neither the energy nor the desire to fuel his ego, because ultimately that's all it's ever about with him.

He sighs, and then he begins to lead me away, toward my cell and away from my husband. And although I know Tobias is long gone, I can't help but look behind me the entire way.


I try to compose myself as I pace back and forth inside the cold, dark cell, but I won't deny I've let out a scream or two.

"He'll be okay," I say to myself, over and over again. I need to believe it more than anything; I don't know if I'd be able to survive it- getting Tobias back only to lose him again. For a brief moment he was in my arms- my husband, my soulmate, the love of my life. He looked at me and he recognized me.

I hold onto the precious memory like a crutch, I breathe it in and I breathe in deep because there's no damn air in this cell. In my head I replay his voice saying 'Hello, Beautiful,' because it's all that's keeping me together.

More than a few hours have passed and no one has come to check on me. I've never been on this side of the law before, but I somehow doubt we leave our prisoners this unattended. I feel like they've abandoned me on purpose, the way they believe I've abandoned them. They're torturing me, knowing damn well I'm losing my mind worrying about Tobias.

A part of me can't help but wonder if Derek will really do all he can to save Tobias. On one hand, he might, even if only just to hold it over our heads or rub our faces in it one day. It would make him feel like he owns us, thinking we owe him our lives, and I imagine him sleeping like a baby at that thought. But on the other hand, he might not do all he can, just out of pure spite.

I look toward the darkness when I finally hear footsteps coming toward me, and I wipe my face with my hands but it's a laughable effort; though the tears are gone, my eyes are almost swollen shut.

Before I can make out anyone, I hear keys jingling, and then the last voice on Earth I'd ever want to hear says, "I'd leave you locked up in here for weeks if it was up to me."

My blood immediately begins to boil.

"But obviously it's not, though you wish it were," I snap back at Chad, correcting his grammar, because I hate him to the point of being that petty. This is his fault, all of it, and my first instinct is to wrap my fingers around his scrawny little neck and choke the life out of him. Not a damn soul would miss him.

"Turn around," he says, rolling his eyes at me when he gets to the door of my cell. When I don't move he yells, "Turn around, Tris!"

"You're going to pay for this," I say venomously. "All of it."

Chad steps a little bit closer to the cell. "That's the second time you've threatened me." He holds two fingers in the air. "You better watch yourself."

"And you better pray my husband survives," I say, and then I freeze, suddenly wondering if he came with news. "Why are you here, Chad?" I quickly ask.

"Harrison sent for you," he answers with a scoff. "They're allowing you to see Four. "

"He's okay?" I cry out. But Chad ignores my question. I quickly turn around and push my arms through the small opening in the cell door as he had requested. He's at least smart enough to cuff my hands behind me before letting me out. When I turn back around, he huffs as he fumbles with the keys, trying at least four of them before one finally fits and the door creaks open.

Looking frustrated, he grabs my arm and pulls me out of the cell. "Let's go," he growls at me and almost throws me down, but I catch my balance and I kick him off his feet. His back crashes into the ground with a loud thud, and he cries out like the baby he is. And with my hands tied behind my back, I press my heel hard down into his throat until he gags.

"You can talk stupid all you want, but don't you ever manhandle me," I seethe at him as he claws at my ankle with his fingers. "I might be your little prisoner for now, but I'm still a leader here, and I can kill you with or without my hands cuffed behind my back. And God knows you've given me more than enough reason to."

He fights for air but I don't lift my foot off his airway until he nods three times.

I step back and levelly say, "Now tell me exactly where you're taking me and I'm choosing the route. Because if you think you're going to parade me around my own faction in handcuffs you're out of your mind."

Chad doesn't look at me. He rolls himself over and then pushes himself to his feet. As he rubs the dirt off his clothes, he rasps, "He's still at the infirmary. And don't touch me again," he growls as he grabs my arm. If I didn't wish to slice his throat this very minute, I'd laugh at him.


I'm relieved when the front door of the infirmary comes into view; even taking the least trafficked route, I grew tired of people looking at me and whispering, although that's the least harmful thing they could do. The Dauntless don't take well to traitors. If Tobias and I can't prove our innocence, they will kill us.

Knowing he's somewhere behind that door, my legs move faster and so does my heart. Chad keeps up with me only because he has to. Reluctantly, he opens the door and leads me to Tobias' room. We walk past the front desk and the nurse tries not to make eye contact; she knows me well. I can only hope she is as gentle with my husband as she is with my son.

When we arrive at Tobias' room, as if to punish me, Chad opens the door far too slowly. I end up pushing past him, but when I see Tobias, I freeze in place. He's unconscious, with a large white tube sticking out the right side of his chest. It's connected to a rectangular contraption with bubbling water inside. His abdomen is covered in gauze, straight down the middle, all the way from his heart to his waist. Both his arms are stretched out, connected to IVs. There's a small tube in his nose giving him oxygen, and he looks pale, like they drained most of the blood out of his body. My eyes are fixated on him and I don't see the walls, I don't see the floor, I don't see anything else in the room but Tobias and the white sheet under him.

"Tris?" I hear Harrison say. His voice is distant and his image blurred. I know he's standing there and he's not alone, but I can't help but focus on Tobias who looks like he's closer to death than life.

As I stare at him, pain and anger fight for control of my body, and ultimately anger wins. I scream out, and I thrash even though my hands are cuffed behind my back. And as if knowing what I was about to do, Zeke grabs me, pulling me away from Chad, away from the man who did this. I scream at him to let me go, but he doesn't. Instead, he pulls me closer until my cries are muffled into his chest.

"He's alive, Tris," Zeke whispers over and over again, and I barely hear him over the sound of my own crying. "He's alive."

Zeke rocks me back and forth and I feel as Harrison sets a comforting hand on my shoulder. The moment feels too familiar; neither of the two had left my side for even a second at Tobias' memorial.

"Take off her cuffs, Chad," I hear Harry say.

"But-"

"I said… take them off," he presses him.

Chad obeys, although I imagine reluctantly, and the second my hands are freed I wrap them around Zeke and then around Harrison, my need for comfort stronger than my need to tighten my fingers around Chad's throat. I hold onto them until I have the strength to turn around and face my husband, and when I finally do, my heart shatters into a million different tiny pieces.

Almost unable to see through the tears, I run to him, and carefully I take him into my arms. His body is warm and his breaths are steady and it comforts me a little because Zeke is right- he is alive, and as long as he's alive there's a chance.

I sit beside him on the bed and I kiss his face and rub my hands over his hair. "Tobias," I whisper his name, hoping he can hear me though he can't open his eyes or move. Tobias has always been so strong that seeing him this frail, this weak, it breaks me. "I can't believe this is happening," I sob, squeezing his hand. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"Yeah? How was it supposed to happen?" Chad interjects, although no one is speaking to him or actually wants him inside this room.

"I want him out of here!" I scream at the top of my lungs, so viciously it scares even me.

"You're excused, Chad," Harrison says without hesitation, and without so much as a word, Chad walks out of the room. It's unlike him and it might be the most decent thing he's ever done.

"He's so fucking unbearable," Zeke mumbles the second Chad closes the door behind him.

"He's a coward," I growl through my teeth. "He knew he couldn't take him so he shot him in the back."

And only when the room goes eerily quiet and I turn and watch as both men's faces become as hard as brick, do I realize they didn't know it was Chad who shot Tobias.

"What?!" Zeke yells in rage when he finally finds his words. His hands quickly draw into hard fists and his eyes become twice as dark. "That son of a bitch!"

"Don't," Harrison says sternly as he grabs Zeke by the arm just as he is about to storm outside and give Chad the greatest beating he's ever had in his life. "Not that he doesn't deserve it, but we need to tread carefully."

"What he deserves is to die!" Zeke says heatedly, pointing at the door as Chad stands on the other side. "And why the fuck do they have him guarding Tris?!"

"Because Derek is a piece of shit," Harrison quickly affirms, glancing between me and Zeke. "But I'll deal with it."

Zeke rolls his eyes as he tugs his arm away from Harrison.

"Zeke, I will deal with it," Harry insists. "You're already on thin ice as is."

"What's going on?" I ask, my curiosity sparked. "What do you mean by that? Is Zeke in trouble?"

Harry sighs and pushes his hands inside his pockets. "Zeke spent a few days in that very cell where you are right now."

"What? Why?"

"Chad wants to have me tried for aiding and abetting traitors," Zeke answers. "When Derek asked him why, he elaborated in detail my involvement in removing Four from the factionless hideout. He said I smacked him upside the head and well… he had a pretty bruise to prove it. He also knows I'm the one who gave you the heads up when they were on to you the first time."

I gasp. "Why didn't you deny it? It's your word against his, Zeke."

"Couldn't do that without compromising the others," he answers with a slight shrug.

"So what about Chris and Uriah?" I ask. I try not to think about Christina. It aches.

Zeke smiles a little. "They… acted under duress. That's what my official statement said, anyway."

"I knew it was a mistake taking him along," I hold my head in one hand and Tobias' hand in the other.

"We didn't have a choice," Zeke says gently. "And we knew the second he saw Four he would sell us out."

"I'm so sorry, Zeke," I shake my head. "I never meant for anyone else to get hurt." Maybe it was selfish of me to ask for help and involve others knowing how dangerous this could turn out to be. And I should have known something was wrong the last time Zeke came over to the bunker. He almost looked like he was planning to spend the night because he thought I wasn't going to be there with Tobias.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Tris. This isn't your fault."

"It is, because I got you involved."

"I would have been upset if you hadn't," he says evenly, and undoubtedly I know it's true. Zeke would do anything for Tobias, and he'd have never let me undertake all of this on my own. It's the whole reason why I went to him in the first place.

"So how did you get out?" I ask.

"He's on… administrative leave," Harry answers for him.

"You've lost your leadership position," I deduce with a frown.

"Just for now," Zeke shakes his head. "Don't worry about it too much."

"Don't worry?" I ask, literally unable to do anything but that since we were caught. My face has never felt so heavy. "Who's filling your position for the time being?"

"Nobody," Harry shakes his head. "We voted and both Derek and Chad believed this isn't the right time to invoke new leadership. I wanted to involve the faction considering how the large majority is loyal to both you and Zeke, but even that came to vote." He sighs. "This whole thing's a mess, Tris. It's basically us against them."

"Well then let's be glad there are more of us than there are of them," I say strongly, looking Harrison right in the eye.

"Yeah, but technically two thirds of us aren't an acting leader of this faction," Harrison says carefully. "If it comes to a vote, I'll lose every time."

"What are we going to do?" I ask quietly, feeling a bit defeated. Without Zeke, Harrison's right, we're outnumbered in leadership. And Derek has quite the following; he could almost get away with anything he wanted to.

But I look at Tobias and I remember why I'm doing this. Whatever happens, whatever it comes to, I won't give up on him- I can't. The truth is, I think the hardest part might be over now that he remembers. I smile thinking about how he was with me, body and soul, not too long ago.

"He remembered," I tell them softly, squeezing Tobias' hand a little. "Just before they shot him. He remembered."

"Are you sure, Tris?" Zeke pleads, taking a large step closer to the bed.

"Yes," I say without any doubt in my mind. I saw it in his eyes and I heard it in his voice. It was all him. "He protected me," I tell them tearfully. "He shielded me from the bullets."

"That's Four all right."

"So we can still do this," Harrison whispers.

"Absolutely," Zeke strongly confirms, nodding his head a little. "With his memory back, at least we'll have a fair shot."

I nod. Taking Tobias' face between my palms, I tell him, "We're going to get you out of this, Baby. You're gonna be okay. We're all going to be okay." And I count my lucky stars, praying that I'm right and that everything will be worth it in the end.

"What happens now?" I turn again to ask Harrison. "Will he stay here? At Dauntless?"

"Lucky for us it's something the doctors seem to be able to manage here," he says. "If he complicates he'll have to be transferred to Erudite, and nobody wants that. We don't need them lurking in our internal affairs and they don't want any more of our people in their building."

Almost as if he had heard us, the doctor walks inside the room and shares a polite nod with all of us. A small medical unit from Erudite lives inside the compound, but I've never seen him before; he must be new. He has brown skin and jet black hair, and he wears a pair of blue scrubs and a long, white coat. He's tall like Tobias, but thinner. He carries a bunch of papers in his hands.

"Mrs. Eaton, may I speak with you privately for a moment?" His voice is very deep and a bit raspy. He must be tired. It's the middle of the night and they were operating for hours.

Zeke and Harrison are about to walk out when I say, "That won't be necessary. Whatever you have to say to me, I want them to hear."

The doctor nods courteously and then introduces himself saying, "My name is Dr. Ben Watson. I'm a trauma surgeon. I'm the one who operated on your husband."

"Is he going to be okay?" I stand to my feet and face Dr. Watson. "Will he be okay?" I ask again.

The doctor sighs and then he straightens his back a little. "Mrs. Eaton, the damage to your husband's body was extensive. The bullets entered through his back but they ricocheted and caused considerable damage in both his chest and abdomen. He received injury to his right diaphragm and his right lung, along with liver injuries and multiple intestinal perforations. We saved what we could, and resected what we couldn't."

And though I know more about guns than I know about medicine and surgery, I know what the words considerable damage imply. My hands begin to go numb and with my lips trembling I ask, "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying your husband is lucky to be alive, Mrs. Eaton," Dr. Watson says. "Many wouldn't have survived the gunshots and much less the surgery, but… your husband seemed as determined to survive as we were to save him." He sighs. "We were glad to see his kidneys received no damage. There were also no complications during the surgery, and his vitals have remained stable post-op. We're giving him everything he needs for his body to heal and we're hoping he does just that."

"So you expect him to make a full recovery?" Zeke asks before I can. His face is distorted with a mixture of hope and anxiety.

"Post-op complications are a real possibility and I need you all to remember that, but know that we will take every measure possible to avert them," Dr. Watson ensures us.

I feel as the blood rushes back to my fingertips, and I smile with optimism. "How long will he need to be here?"

"There is no real timeline for critical cases like these," Dr. Watson explains slowly, "We take it day by day. But if all goes well, he would be released from our care in about three weeks."

I hear Harrison release a breath of relief behind me, and my shoulders relax for the first time in hours. Three weeks is a long time, but I've been yearning for Tobias for five years. I return to my place by his bedside and smile at him. Tobias has always been strong, determined. I have no doubt now he will leave this world on his own terms.

"Why hasn't he woken up?" I ask Dr. Watson.

"The surgery was lengthy and stressful on his body," he answers. "He needs time to rest in order to heal and regain strength. He is also heavily medicated for the pain. Just give him time."

I nod, and I thank the doctor for all his help. He's very kind, but that's not unusual; most of the Erudite doctors who agree to work in the other factions are Divergents.

"Before I leave you, there's the matter of the paperwork," he continues, pinching his thick eyebrows together. "Due to the fact that your husband's surgery was an emergency, we did everything we had to in the moment, but there are a few consent forms I'll need you to sign. And from this point forward everything we do we will need your permission, which can only be overridden by the head of Dauntless security."

The last part immediately catches my attention. "Why should Derek be able to override my decisions?"

"Your husband isn't only a patient, Mrs. Eaton. He's a suspect in an ongoing case, which makes the circumstances surrounding his care a bit complicated."

I understand it's not Dr. Watson's fault, but that doesn't make me hate the idea any less. There's no comfort in being reminded of the fact that Derek is ultimately the one in control and I could never trust that he'll do what's best for Tobias.

Sensing my uneasiness, Dr. Watson sets the paperwork on the table beside the bed. "I'll leave you with these so you can read and sign. I'll be right outside. Just let the nurse know when you're ready to hand in the papers."

I only nod.

"Thank you, Doctor," Harrison says as Dr. Watson walks out of the room. I can't seem to find my words.

Groaning in exasperation, Zeke digs at his hair and goes to rest his back against the wall. "Can he do that? Does he really have that authority?"

"He does," Harry answers at the same time the person in question walks inside the room with his lap dog at his side. Chad closes the door behind them and then takes his place at Derek's side. He crosses his arms in front of his chest with a disgustingly smug look on his face.

"Just leave us alone!" I yell at them, immediately infuriated at the sight of them both. How dare they come in here?

I've never wished another person dead, not even Marcus or Evelyn, but with so much emotion running through my veins, if either of the men in front of me were to come to a cruel and bitter end, I would truly be glad. They are the only ones standing between life and death, between incarceration and freedom, neither of them deserving of that honour.

"Tris," Derek begins.

I take a few quick steps toward Derek. He looks down at me and I glare up at him unafraid, though I know my eyes are filled with pain. "If you think I'm letting you kill my husband, you have another thing coming," I snarl at him, challenging him.

His eyes square in on mine. "If I wanted him dead, he would have been. Who do you think called in a trauma surgeon from Erudite and ordered to have him rushed into surgery the second he got here?"

"You're not the hero here, Derek," I say flatly. "You're not fooling anyone."

"Tris… I am trying to help you," he loudly states as he reaches out and grabs my hand.

It's a grave mistake. Both Zeke and Harrison are beside him in less than a second and it's suddenly crowded in this part of the room.

"Let go of her," Zeke says menacingly, breathing down Derek's neck. He stands daringly close to him.

"Or what?" Chad butts in, and he casually runs his fingers through his blond hair. "You forget you have no authority here anymore?"

"He doesn't, but I do," Harrison says darkly to Chad. "And I'm sure I told you to leave this room."

"He's her guard," Derek growls. "He doesn't leave her side unless I say so."

"You listen to me you sick piece of shit," Zeke glares at Derek as he literally rips his fingers from around my hand. "You think you can intimidate her with obvious and pitiful power plays?"

I pull my hand away. I hate to admit it but I do feel intimidated at times. The truth is I feel hopeful one minute then helpless the next.

"I'm not the one displaying abuse of power here, Zeke," Derek spits, glancing between him and Harrison. I suddenly remember I'm not even supposed to be here. Chad most likely went to fetch Derek when Harrison sent him outside the room.

"Are you sure about that? Then why the fuck is he guarding her?" His eyes glare at Chad for a brief second before returning to Derek.

"Because he's the best person for the job," Derek answers stupidly.

"He's the one who shot her husband you insensitive fuck."

"You're overstepping, Zeke," Derek says, and I can hear the irritation in his tone. He feels disrespected, but truthfully none of us ever did respect him.

"Am I?" Zeke queries sarcastically.

"Derek," Harrison growls, and reluctantly Derek looks at him. "There is no reason Chad has to be the one guarding Tris."

The five of us stand there, leaders of Dauntless, fighting like we always have. I can count on one hand the number of times we unanimously agreed on something, and it was always trivial things, things of no consequence. And now, one of the most important people in my life lies in their hands. It's nothing short of tragic and my face sinks to my knees when I think about that reality. I don't think I start crying, because I don't recall having ever stopped. I quickly wipe a tear away, but not before everyone can see it.

Looking at me with some sort of sympathy, Derek says, "I'll have someone else on her duty first thing in the morning." He pauses. "That's the best I can do."

"I'll be fine," I say strongly, looking at Zeke and Harrison. I may feel helpless and overwhelmed right now, but I won't give Derek and Chad the pleasure of basking in it.

"Good," Derek says, though not to anyone. "Chad, escort the prisoner back to her cell please."

I don't resist as Chad places the handcuffs on me, but I do look back on Tobias one more time. I memorize the pattern of his slow breathing and I mimic it. It calms me, makes me feel closer to him.

I don't look at Derek, but I feel his eyes on me as Chad takes me outside of the room. I pass a grateful smile to Harrison and Zeke who I'm sure will hear a few words from Derek for what they did.

"Let's go," Chad grumbles as he walks me through the halls, back to my cell. "He's going to be executed," he adds. "I don't even know why we're going through this much trouble to save his life."

I struggle a little, wanting so bad to hit him in the face or shoot him in the knee.

"Why do you want him dead?" I hiss at Chad. "You ungrateful child! You of all people should know everything he did for the good of this faction."

"Because two weeks ago he was dead," he says nonchalantly. "It doesn't matter what he did back then. He's a traitor now, and traitors are executed in this faction."

"If he dies by any means, so do you," I remind him.

He scoffs at me. "Look at you, twice the innocent widow. Well played, Tris." His eyes scan me from head to toe before he says. "You don't deserve to wear our colours. But you know what? You're going to get away with it, all because Derek wants to fuck you." He rolls his eyes. "So does Zeke it appears… if he hasn't already. I imagine that's why he's so willing to help a traitor. You must really deliver." He grins. "I wonder how Four's going to feel about that when he wakes up."

"Fuck you, Chad," I hiss at him. He's so vile that even the air he breathes is left tainted and I'm tempted to hold my breath.

Looking at me with disgust, he says, "Naw… not me. I'd rather not. I personally don't see what all the hype is about," and he shoves me inside the cell. I huff, but I don't say anything; he isn't worth any of my words. The only thing he deserves is a day of reckoning.

He locks the cell door in front of me, and then, as he's walking away I say, "Chad," and he turns around. "I take it back… I will kill you… regardless."


A/N: Exhale, because Tobias is alive! Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter :)