Chapter 24

TOBIAS

It hurts to lie on my back. It hurts when I try to turn left or right. It hurts when I try to sit up, when I try to stand, when I breathe. Sleep is my only escape and it comes easily, but it's not something I can afford to spend too much time doing, not until I've come up with a solution to the matter of my impending trial and execution.

I might have less time than I had originally anticipated. My trial is supposed to take place the day after I'm discharged, and there's a bag of blue fluid attached to my left arm, a state of the art drug brought from Erudite that's supposed to help my body heal faster. I would have refused it to buy myself more time if I weren't so sure that Evelyn will attack Dauntless before I ever stand trial, and I'll need my strength if I am to stop her. Especially since Derek is refusing to mobilize Dauntless on my word alone.

I wish it would count for something- me doing whatever it takes to stop Evelyn. But the unfortunate truth is that when it's all over, they'll still march me into the sentencing hall and charge me with treason.

I groan as a dull ache makes its way through my body. Dr. Watson had warned me that faster tissue growth was a lot less pleasant than it sounded, but I didn't actually think it could be any worse than what I was already feeling.

I was wrong. With the amount of pain I'm in, you'd think I'd have regrown a second liver by now.

I push the buzzer, calling in the nurse. She's shy and she never looks me in the eye, but she's at least kind enough to kick up the dose of my pain medication when I ask. When she walks in the room she doesn't bother to inquire what I called her in for; she heads straight for the pump to my left.

"That's the third time today," she says in a tender voice as she pushes the buttons on the infusion pump. "I can't put it any higher without the doctor's orders."

"That's okay. Thank you. I guess this will have to do." I sigh and wait patiently if even just for a bit more relief.

"At this dose, you might start hallucinating," she says, and I'm almost sure she smiles. Though she never really looks at me, she doesn't seem afraid of me, unlike one of the other nurses who has refused to work unless I'm handcuffed. I'm glad he's not the one working today; my wrists are swollen.

"What's your name?" I ask her just as she's about to leave the room.

"Paula." She stares at my feet when she answers and I can tell she's nervous by the way she's fidgeting. She seems young and a little too shy to be Dauntless. She must be one of the volunteers who live in the compound.

"Thank you, Paula." I relax into the bed a little as I begin to feel the effects of the extra opioids in my blood.

"You're welcome," she answers, and she tucks a bit of her curly dark hair behind her ear. "It's the least I can do." And for the first time, she takes a quick glance into my eyes. I only now notice that hers are brown. "I've always wanted to meet you, though… not like this."

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously. Her sudden desire for conversation, though a pleasant surprise, catches me off guard. Between her temperament and my constant need to sleep, we've never shared more than a few words.

Her face is innocent when she shrugs. "You saved my life. Because of you I can exist." She smiles as she twirls the hem of her purple nurse's uniform.

"You're Divergent," I deduce. When she smiles again I immediately recognize it, remembering how I'd seen it on the faces of everyone around me when I was growing up. "Abnegation born."

"Like you," she quickly nods. "But I transferred to Erudite to formalize my training, and I've learned a lot there. Turns out I love being a nurse even more than I thought I would."

"I see," I say under my breath. I twist my head to the side a little and ask, "And you're volunteering to work at Dauntless?"

She shrugs again and bites her lip for a second. "I don't really fit in in Abnegation or Erudite. It's easier here because I'm not expected to. I can do my job without feeling like an alien, and that's all I really want. I know it seems sort of backward but-"

"No," I let out a soft chuckle. "I understand." I had only ever met a few Abnegation-Erudite Divergents, but they all expressed similar sentiments about not belonging. Their intelligence came without arrogance, and though modest, they were progressive. I suppose it makes sense that the medical field is where someone like that would feel most at home, and that they'd have trouble assimilating in either faction. Many times I've wondered how Tris makes having three aptitudes look so easy.

Paula's about to walk out of the room but then she stops.

"And if it helps," she says with a small pause, "I don't believe you could ever be a traitor. Traitors don't risk their lives to save strangers. And Dr. Watson doesn't think so either." She smiles politely before walking out, and I can't help but feel a bit heartened. How could two people who hardly know me be so convinced of my innocence?

I sigh, wondering if my faction would think the same of me, but the Dauntless aren't like Paula or Dr. Watson. They're not like the Abnegation or the Erudite. They don't assume the best of people, they don't help them just because, and when their blood is hot, they certainly don't see reason or logic. When the Dauntless are out for blood, they usually don't stop until they get it.

I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before I hear the door swing back open and I wonder if maybe Paula had forgotten something, but when I look up, I see my brother standing in the doorway. I'm about to push the buzzer to inform my nurse that I'm already hallucinating, but then he says my name, and I realize he's really there.

"Four," he says, with the kind of impossibly wide shit eating grin that only Zeke is capable of. "Is that really you, Brother?" His eyes are glued to me as he waits for an answer.

I don't make him wait long.

"It might be, but I'll deny it if your plan is to run in here and try to kiss me or something."

"What? You don't have the stomach for a kiss?" He tries to ask the question with a straight face and of course he fails.

I grin back at him. "My stomach's fine… but I am missing a few feet of my intestines."

Entirely unable to stop himself, Zeke bursts out with a laugh and so do I, and with a few large strides he's by my bedside, resting his hand heavily on my shoulder and looking down at me like I'm the lottery.

"God, I wish I could hug you," he says thickly. "But you're all sewed up and I don't want to crush you." His smile doesn't leave his face, but I don't miss the way his eyes water a little.

"As if you could," I tease him, knowing damn well with the state I'm in he could probably snap me like a twig.

"Sorry I took so long to come see you," he sighs and shakes his head a little, though he needn't apologize. After everything Zeke's done to try and bring me back, I can hardly be mad about how many days he took to break in here. He's a little more serious when he adds, "I wanted to come the second I heard your eyes were open. But without my leadership clearance, not everyone lets me in here. Paula's pretty sweet though."

"She is," I smile. "And don't apologize, Zeke. I haven't been awake for that long."

"It's been three days," he gives me an eye. "You trying to let me off easy?"

I laugh lightly and I shrug. "Well I slept through most of it. Believe me, you didn't miss much. Besides, I know Derek might actually try to kill you if he finds you in here." But I know better than to think anyone could stop Zeke from walking through that door.

"Yeah, he might," he answers with a smirk. "But I just asked your guard to take a very long walk. And Paula says she'll be in the bathroom for a while; so technically, no one saw me come in here."

"Technically," I happily agree, and I can't deny the undeniable ease I feel knowing he's on my side. As difficult and complicated as this might all be, if there's anyone who could make me laugh through it as though I weren't literally on death row, it's Zeke.

When he goes to drag the chair a little closer to the bed, I take the remote from the table and I raise the back of the bed a little until I'm sitting upright.

Though it seemed impossible, Zeke's eyes open a little wider. "Well look at you! Harry told me you were awake, but he didn't say you were ready to walk up out of here."

"Hardly," I scoff.

"Well, I wouldn't be in a rush either," Zeke teases. "This is definitely a step up from being handcuffed in your own bunker. Adjustable bed," he looks at the IV bags hanging beside him as he sits down, "Sweet nurse. Blue juice hooked up to your arm. This is the life. The fuck is that anyway?"

"Erudite concoction," I laugh as we both stare at the blue bag for a few seconds. "It's supposed to make me heal faster. Hurts like a bitch and I'm always tired, but I think it's working." Sitting up isn't half as difficult as it was yesterday.

Zeke pinches his eyebrows together. "Where was that shit when I broke my arm?"

I laugh at him and I feel so grateful I can remember that glorious night. He and I had had a little too much to drink, and we started to seriously overestimate our own capabilities while at the same time losing most of our fine motor and reasoning skills. For some reason we thought it would have been a great idea to stand on each other's shoulders and see if that's what it felt like to fly. Zeke climbed up first, the heavy son of a bitch, but he wasn't up there long. He stretched out his arms and he said it felt so good to be so high up that he forgot he couldn't actually fly. He jumped off my shoulders and lasted all of two seconds mid-air before he crashed into the ground. It's how he earned himself the nickname Bird. I don't know who was more upset, Shauna or his mother.

"Well, I don't know why but I got the impression they're not just giving this stuff out to drunk teenagers."

I expect Zeke to laugh, but his face becomes a little more thoughtful now, almost reverent. "It's really good to have you back, Four," he leans forward to say. "Seeing you like that in that bunker, not remembering who we were, who you were," he shakes his head and sighs. "It wasn't easy to watch."

"Trust me, it was a nightmare, not knowing what was real and what wasn't. It's good to look at you and remember everything," I tell him. "Honestly, I wasn't liking you very much without my memories."

Zeke laughs a hearty laugh, then he leans back into the chair again and says, "I can't imagine why. It's not like I shot you with a tranquilizer gun and then dragged your ass to a remote location or anything."

I smile at my best friend, remembering how he and Harry stood by Tris every step of the way; they did everything they could to try and bring me back. I could easily tell that Tris was always cared for and my son was loved immensely in my absence. I couldn't be more grateful.

"Thank you, Zeke... For everything."

"Trust me, he's not the one you need to thank," a familiar voice interrupts. She stands in the doorway wearing a small black dress and flat shoes. She's actually a little bit taller and her hair is longer now. Her bangs are gone and so are her signature streaks of purple. Of everyone I've seen so far, she has changed the most.

"Shauna," I smile at her and she immediately walks inside. She sits on the right side of the bed and wraps her arms around me, but she's gentle, and it's far more comforting than I would have ever expected. Slowly, I move my arms to hug her back.

"Oh, we've missed you," she sighs into my shoulder. "I prayed so hard they'd bring you back."

"Tris did most of the work, but Zeke did help a little," I whisper in her ear.

Almost giggling, Shauna sits up and just stares at me for a while. I see the years on her face a little more now. Her cheeks are slightly chubbier, and her skin has more colour.

"How are you feeling?"

"As good as can be expected, all things considered." But I'd rather not think about imminent doom, not when my friends whom I haven't seen in five years are sitting beside me. "And how have you two been?" I glance between my old friends. They were still practically newlyweds last time I saw them together. I do remember Tris telling me they didn't have any kids.

They look at each other pensively for a second. "Okay, for the most part," Shauna is the one to answer. "It's been tough without you… handling Zeke on my own. He's a bit too much sometimes."

Zeke lets out a slow and honest smile at Shauna. "I have been on my best behaviour, Four. Do not listen to her."

I make a face at him. "I'm supposed to believe that?" Then I turn to Shauna and say, "Well, I'm here now. Not a hundred percent. But I will be soon. I'll help you keep him in line."

"Aha?" Shauna eyes me up and down. "How soon? Have you actually gotten out of this bed?"

I immediately raise an eyebrow at her. Just the thought of that makes my muscles ache. "Out of the bed? I can barely move, Shauna." I can barely stay awake.

She pushes out her lips at me. "I'll take that as a no. You need to walk, Four. It'll help you heal faster."

"That's what the blue juice is for, Babe," Zeke interjects, and he points at the bag hanging on the stand. When Shauna throws a playful yet reproving eye in his direction, Zeke doesn't hesitate to look at me and say, "She's right, Four. You need to walk."

I laugh, and thankfully it doesn't hurt so much. "Not much has changed I see." Shauna has always been the captain of that ship.

"Whatever," Zeke grumbles at me with a smirk as he stretches out his hand to me. "But you better do what she says. Trust me. There's no other way this ends well for you."

As a sign of protest, I let out the longest breath before I take his hand. When I finally give in, I mumble "Fine."

Shauna comes around the bed, and between her and Zeke, they help me to stand. In that moment I don't know which feeling is stronger, the relief I feel when I stretch my legs or the dizziness in my head when I finally stand upright. But then all of a sudden both are outdone by the heaviness in my abdomen.

"Fuck!" I crouch over a little when I feel a sharp pain that makes me wonder if I've just been stabbed in the gut.

"Why are men always such babies?" Shauna says as she takes the bag of infamous blue juice and passes it to Zeke. "Hold that above your head, Babe." She unplugs the infusion pump and pushes it in front of us. She then bends down to pick up the contraption that the tube in my side is connected to. "And you. Here. Hold your luggage," she says to me.

I hesitantly take it from her. "I really hope you know what you're doing. Are you sure we can even unplug that?" I look at the infusion pump in front of me that now has the words no power source blinking in a bright, alarming red. "That's my pain meds, Shauna, the only reason I can breathe right now."

"It has a battery, Four," she says matter-of-factly, and she rolls her eyes at me, but then she smiles. "Okay, we're good to go, whenever you're ready."

With Zeke supporting me on my left, and Shauna on my right, I take the first step forward and then I freeze the second my foot touches the floor. I curse about twelve times under my breath. "Feels like I'll rip my insides." I groan, though not as loudly as I'd really like to. I figure if I'm being forced to walk I have to be smart about how I use my energy.

"You won't." Shauna sounds too optimistic, as if she's a doctor or as if I hadn't had major surgery a few days ago. "It gets better with each step."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

I'm tempted to call her a liar when I take another step and it's no easier than the first, but Shauna's face falls a little and she says, "Because I am. Now take a breath, and then take another step."

But I freeze again. Not from pain this time, but from the heavy feeling that there's more going on here than I realize. I'm missing something, something important. I'm yet again reminded that I don't really know what's going on in anyone's life- not my wife, not my best friend and his wife.

"What did I miss, Shauna?" I ask her solemnly, realizing she's mostly likely done this before.

She and Zeke exchange a glance, and he stares at her the way he always did when he was worried about her, or when she was hurting. She doesn't answer just yet, instead she coaxes me forward and I move ahead, taking about four more steps before she quietly says, "We um... had two miscarriages in the past five years. It was worse the second time. Made it all the way to thirty two weeks before she decided to leave us."

With my heart instantly shattering, I stop walking and I stand a little straighter to look up at Shauna who looks as wounded as I've ever seen her.

"Anyway, I um… I had to have a C-section because I wasn't responding to the meds they were giving me to induce labour. So I know what it's like to be forced to walk when you feel like you're being held together by a few threads."

"I'm so sorry, Shauna," I immediately blurt out, and I feel as if my eyes are wide open. "I can't imagine how painful that must have been." I remember how good she was with kids and Zeke noticed it too. He constantly made jokes about them having a football team, and though she pretended not to, we could all see how much she was in love with the idea.

"It's okay." Her voice is quiet, and she nudges me forward again. "I wasn't alone. I had Zeke."

"Always," he says beside me and Shauna smiles though the pain is vibrant in her eyes.

"And you," she says to me, as I take another step, "have us." When she smiles at me and nudges her chin for me to look around me, I realize I've made a full circle around the bed without even noticing, and the last step was considerably easier than the first. I smile back at her until I hear another voice say, "You have all of us."

My head swings around the second her voice registers inside my head. "Christina," I whisper her name, mostly out of shock, and then I feel the tiniest hint of anger. I swallow hard, not being sure what to think or what to say. She was all too willing to leave me at the factionless, and even asked Tris to do the same. And if there's one thing about Chris, it's that there's no pretence; you'll always know how she feels about you.

"I'm sorry, Four," she continues, and her lips tremble a little. "If you'd listen, I'd like to explain."

"I'm not the one who deserves an explanation, Chris," I say firmly, but I do feel betrayed. I remember how I was wary of her at first, mostly because words would just come out of her mouth unchecked. But with time I grew to appreciate her honesty and she started growing on me to the point where I actually liked having her around. Apart from that she turned out to be a loyal friend to Tris, and I came to respect her for that.

"Would you at least accept an apology?"

"You don't owe me anything." I shake my head at her and there's a bitter edge to my tone.

It's not a lie; she's Tris' best friend, not mine. My best friend is standing exactly where I need him to be. But there's a part of me that expected just a bit more from her.

"I didn't know what to expect, Four," she shrugs a little and her eyes wander around the room and ultimately land on my abdomen, where most of the damage is evident. She cringes a little and the smallest flicker of remorse takes up space in her eyes. She takes a small step back and she gasps a little.

It's strange, watching Christina shrink herself, probably out of regret or shame. There's usually absolutely no shame in her honesty.

"Neither did Zeke," I tell her, "but he still tried."

My words upset her and awaken the plain-spoken Christina I know. She suddenly scowls at me from the doorway. "Don't pretend like you know everything that happened while you were gone!" she almost yells. "You weren't here to see how Tris unravelled after that accident, and you weren't the one who struggled day in and day out to help keep her going. I mourned Will, but then I put the pieces back together and I kept living because I was alive. Tris?" she says, and all of a sudden there are tears swimming in her eyes. "Tris was running out of reasons to get out of bed in the morning. I had to pack up my baby and practically move in with her because I was so scared, Four! I kept waking up in the middle of the night to check if she was still breathing because I was terrified that one night she'd just stop." Her voice breaks when she says, "Because that was what she wanted. She wanted to die along with you, and if it weren't for Andy she probably would have."

Christina stares at the ceiling for a moment, and then at me. I stand there in shock, mostly because the idea of Tris being so broken tears me to pieces. I had imagined it was devastating, believing I was dead for so long, but I'll admit I've been so caught up in the nightmare of my own reality that it hadn't really hit me that Tris has been living through her worst fear for five years.

I feel my heart break inside me and if I could I'd run all the way to wherever Tris is. I don't think I've ever wanted to hold her this much.

"But wasn't that all the more reason for you to help her?" I ask Christina, not understanding how Tris' pain was any reason to abandon her.

"And potentially help her dig her own grave?" she rebuts. "Tris refused to let you go; she walked around with all that pain every day, but at least she was moving. And then out of nowhere, you're alive... and without your memories? I panicked." Christina shakes her head back and forth, "I had no idea how this would play out, just that she would stop at nothing to try and save you. And I wasn't willing to risk losing my best friend over a ghost."

I breathe heavily and my eyes are glued to Christina's. "So why now? Nothing's changed, Chris," I remind her, though not unkindly. "I'm still on trial for treason, and you know Derek will do everything in his power to have me executed."

"You're not a ghost anymore, Four," is her tearful answer. "It's you."

But somehow it doesn't seem enough for me. "It always was," I tell her. Tris knew that. Zeke knew that. And though I really don't believe Christina owed me anything, she at least owed more to Tris.

With that she whispers, "Okay," and slowly turns around to leave.

The doorway, though void of her, is now thick with emotion, and the room is suddenly filled with so much tension. Before I can ask if they think I'm wrong, Zeke says, "I'll um… go make sure she's okay."

"Yeah. Okay." I take the bag of blue fluid from his hand and Shauna helps me to hang it up. She pushes the infusion pump back to the side of the bed as Zeke helps me to sit back down. He puts the chest tube contraption back on the floor before he goes after Christina, who I'm only now remembering is his sister-in-law.

When Shauna sits beside me, I say, "I suppose that's enough walking for today."

"Not at all," she chuckles. "But it's a start."

My body does feel a little better now that I've stretched and moved around a bit and I send a small smile in her direction, but my mood has definitely shifted after that unexpected and brief yet intense encounter with Christina.

"You know," Shauna slowly begins to say. "You might not want to hear this, but Chris is telling the truth… and I sort of understand her."

I quickly look up at her. "I don't think she's lying, Shauna. I just think she bailed on Tris when Tris really needed her."

"That depends on how you look at it." Shauna shrugs, and I'm unpleasantly surprised. "I guess she thought she was helping by not helping."

I scoff. "So basically she was being juvenile Christina, doing what she thought was best for Tris." She was often pushy, and it wasn't until later in their friendship that Tris learned to tell her no and stand by it.

"Yes, actually," she says with utmost sincerity, "Because Tris hasn't known what's best for Tris in a very long time."

"So you agree with her? Leaving Tris to fend for herself after she found me?"

"No. I didn't say I agreed," Shauna shakes her head. "I said I understand."

"How so?" I dare to ask. Honestly it's beginning to hurt, wondering what else I've missed over the past five years.

"Zeke." Shauna lets out the longest breath before she says, "He stopped drinking, you know?"

More than surprised, I ask, "What?" Because I can't imagine it- Zeke being sober on a Friday night. It was all he looked forward to all week- hanging out by the chasm with Uri, drinking until neither one of them could walk straight.

"Zeke hasn't so much as looked at a bottle of anything stronger than apple juice since that accident. And that'd be fine, if it weren't for the fact that it's because he thinks him getting drunk is the reason you… died."

"But it wasn't his fault," I forcefully say. It's nobody's fault but Evelyn's.

"And you don't think I've tried telling him that? It's safe to say everyone has, but he won't accept it. And although I love sober Zeke," she stresses, "I was so worried he'd stop living, because for a while he had. It's like he was stuck." She looks up at me again. "After someone dies, with time you get to a point where you can laugh and share stories about them and remember all the good times. But Zeke never got to that point. Nobody could ever mention you around him without the room just becoming so heavy, because…" she pauses, "he wasn't coping… and neither was Tris… and for a time, neither was Harry, and they formed this little circle," she lets out a short and twisted chuckle.

"Is that why they're so close?"

Honestly, I had noticed it- Zeke's deep concern for Tris, the way he was with Andy, and Tris' evident ease when she was around him. To be honest, it was hard to miss.

Shauna nods and says, "There's a strange bond that forms between people who share the same pain. It's why Uri and Zeke became so close after their father died. You cry together but you heal together too, you know? It's like you help to mend each other, you help to pull each other through. That's what Zeke and I did both times we had to go home without our baby, and it made us stronger; it made it so nothing could ever come between us. And now our hearts are open and we decided instead of trying again, we'll adopt, and he is so excited, Four." She smiles a little, but then it fades just as quickly as it had appeared.

"It wasn't that Zeke wouldn't or couldn't heal after you died. He'd already lost so much and got through it. It was that between him and Tris, the two people who love you most in this world, neither of them could really help pull the other out the other side. Zeke wasn't letting go of the guilt any more than Tris was letting go of the grief. But strangely," she sighs, "I think they identified with each other in that they both decided to just… carry you around with them. And although it wasn't the best coping mechanism, it allowed them to at least open up in other areas of their lives. Zeke never cared for another best friend, and Tris never loved anyone else, but they both went back to work knowing you wouldn't be there."

"They were moving," I quietly repeat Christina's words.

Shauna nods slowly. "They were. And they weren't over it, not by a long shot, but they've definitely come a long way. So imagine how scared I was when Zeke told me about this plan to rescue you, because I knew I couldn't stop either of them from doing whatever it took to bring you home. And it's not that I wouldn't have wanted them to; because you are family, Tobias Eaton," She takes my face between her palms, "and that's what you do for family. But they both love you so much, and I know you know that. God forbid they'd failed; they'd both be in pieces all over again."

I stare at the ground, putting it all together in my head. Maybe I'd only considered a fraction of the risks taken to rescue me; I've missed so much that I only truly have fragments of the puzzle, fragments of reality. It upsets me as much as it hurts me.

"I think I understand," I whisper to Shauna.

"But you don't," she says to me with a tear rolling down her cheek. "You have no idea what losing you did to them. I do," she points at herself. "And so does Chris, and it is gut-wrenching to watch the person you love fall apart right in front of you and you can't do a damn thing about it."

I look at Shauna now, and the pain in her eyes is immense. I hadn't realized my death would have that sort of effect on anyone. I remember when Tris lost her father she cried for months, but one day she stopped; one day she could look at his picture and smile instead of breaking down. She even named our son after him, and although his middle name is my own, her father's name is the one she calls him by every day. Probably because she could hardly ever say mine.

Maybe Shauna's right; I don't understand. I don't know enough to.

"Hey," Zeke says worriedly as he rushes back inside the room. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?" He stoops down in front of Shauna and takes her hand. His eyes open wide and then he quickly looks at me for an answer.

"Yeah," Shauna smiles, redirecting his attention, and she quickly rubs the tears from her cheeks. "Four and I were just having a little heart to heart."

"She's just telling me how much she missed me," I playfully interject, figuring Zeke wouldn't know what to say to his wife revealing all that she has. Some of it I'm sure he would have told me at some point. Some of it I'm sure he would have left out.

When Shauna giggles, Zeke gets up off his knees and presses a kiss to her forehead. "I missed him too, Babe."

Shauna's right hand instinctively finds itself on Zeke's cheek, and she closes her eyes for a few seconds. "How's Christina?" she asks him softly.

"She's okay. Uri's got her," Zeke answers with a nod. He gently nudges Shauna to the side a little, and before I realize what he's doing, he tries to take a seat on the bed, squeezing himself between me and Shauna. I laugh as I move to the left a little, trying to accommodate him.

"So Chris and Uri?" I chuckle and Zeke shakes with laughter beside me.

"Yeah. Trust me. That was weird for everybody at first."

"Everybody except them," Shauna says under her breath.

"But we're happy for them," Zeke grins, and he puts one arm around Shauna and one arm behind me. "They're crazy about each other. They're actually getting married next month."

Shauna looks at me and smiles knowingly. Strange bonds indeed.

I suppose after Will and Marlene died, Christina and Uriah had a lot more in common than they ever had before. They had both lost the person they love and had a young daughter to raise on their own. I could easily see them finding strength in each other.

"The girls must be so big now," I say with a bit of melancholy. They were babies when I last saw them.

"Yeah," Shauna replies. "And they're inseparable. I wish you could see them, but Harrison told us it's probably not safe for them to be in Dauntless right now, so Uri's taking them somewhere safe later today." She frowns a little.

I'm suddenly reminded we're all on borrowed time. In actuality, I think the only reason Evelyn hasn't attacked yet is because Chad might have told her Derek isn't buying my story, leaving Dauntless vulnerable and giving her more time to prepare. Given how brash I've known her to be, she won't spend that much longer debating with whoever's in control of her army now.

Letting out a soft grunt, I push up against Zeke's thigh and I stand up off the bed. I unplug the infusion pump and pull it until it's in front of me.

Evelyn won't catch me lying down. I need to heal. Not only for myself, but for the people who I can't dare to leave behind again.

"What are you doing?" Shauna asks quietly, and I'm sure I see the corners of her lips curve up faintly.

Picking up my chest tube contraption off the floor, I determinedly say, "I've got to keep walking."


A/N: Sorry for the late update guys. Was a busy day yesterday. I hope this chapter helps to fill in some gaps! :) R & R