Chapter 4
"And are there any cute guys at school?", my mom asked enthusiastically as I was looking through the cup boards, trying to localize where Charlie kept the salad bowl. I sighed at her question, but I wasn't surprised by it. For as long as I could remember my mom had been dating one guy after the other and I was in fact quite surprised that she'd stuck around Phil for 3 years now without getting restless. "Haven't really noticed, mom", I said and adjusted my headset which had gotten ensnared around my arm, not that I understood how. You probably had to be in the Hall of fame of the clumsy to succeed, or just be me. "Oh, honey", my mom said, suddenly sounding a bit guilty, "I'm sorry I turned your life upside down by going with Phil, it's just that..." "It's fine", I interrupted her, suddenly feeling guilty for the tone I'd used, "I chose this, and anyhow, there was no way for me staying in Phoenix by myself with you and Phil always being on the road. And it's fine here, I like spending time with Charlie." I left out the part about that Charlie seemed to be in bigger need of the company than I was. Where did he keep that freaking salad bowl?!
"And the kids at school are being really friendly and welcoming, I'll probably end up with more friends than I ever had back in Phoenix," I said, searching through the last cup board and realizing there probably wasn't a sallad bowl to be found at all in this kitchen. "Of course you will, honey. Forks is a friendly place, I'm sure you'll feel right at home in no time", she said reassuringly, maybe more to reassure herself than anyone else. Is that why you couldn't leave Forks soon enough, I thought to myself, but then biting my lip, resenting my bitterness. This really had nothing to do with her, Charlie or even Forks. "And have you heard anything from Dan?", my mom asked cautiously, knowing that she was treading on thin ice. I drew yet another deep breath, hoping that Charlie would get home soon so that I could end this conversation. Charlie at least had the good sense of not asking too much and appreciating the silence. "Nope, nothing", I said and put down the plates on the table with a bang, "But it's fine, I mean, people grow apart every day. I'm sure he's got his hands full at college and I'm busy here..." I realized I was slipping into jibberish so I decided to stop. "Oh honey, but you were more than that, weren't you?", my mom started, but as if my prayers had been heard by some greater power Charlie suddenly barged in through the kitchen door.
"Hey, Bells!", he said cheerily and hung his jacket on a hanger next to the door, "What smells so good?" "Mom, I've got to go", I said, relieved by Charlie's well-timed return, "Charlie just got home and we're having dinner." "That's fine, sweetie", my mom reassured me, even though I could tell there was a hint of disappointment in her voice, "Say hello to Charlie from me, will you? And call me soon, okay? I miss you." Yet again I felt a sting of guilt. "I will, mom. And I miss you and I love you too. I'll call you soon", I said with my most gentle voice and then hanging up.
"I suppose that was your mom?", Charlie said, standing by the sink washing his hands and trying to sound unfazed by it, even though it was obvious that he still had a soft spot for her even after all these years. "Yup", I said placing the casserole on the table, "She says hello by the way. On another note, I couldn't find the salad bowl. Where have you hidden it?" For a short moment Charlie looked dumbfounded and then he cringed slightly. "Well, Bells... I mostly just cook for myself and I haven't made a habit of making sallad...", he said apologetically, looking unhappy. Sometimes I forgot the fact that Charlie had been on his own ever since me and mom left 16 years ago, I suppose he hadn't had very many fancy dinner parties here since then. "Oh that's fine, Charlie", I reassured him smiling and putting my hand on his shoulder, "I'll just take a regular bowl, it's fine, really." I took a bowl and mixed the sallad I'd chopped in it and then set it on the table.
Charlie still stood by the sink, looking as he didn't know what to do next and I decided to take charge of the situation. "Well, it's all finished, so let's eat!", I said as cheerily as I could muster and he snapped out of his trance. "Great, Bells", he said and sat down by the table. I sat down on the opposite side and started to fill up my plate. "So how was school?", Charlie asked after a while, obviously thinking this was expected behavior in his role as the devoted father. I decided to go easy on him, like I had with my mom.
"It was pretty cool actually", I said and took a big bite to avoid having to elaborate on the subject. "That's cool", Charlie said, sounding as if he'd just uttered something in a foreign language. Down with the kids 1-0-1... "Did you make any friends?", he continued, yet again trying to sound unconcerned even though I knew he was probably praying to some great entity that I was making friends and starting to feel at home. "Yeah, I talked to a couple of the kids. They were all really friendly and welcoming. And my lab partner seems really cool actually, his name is Edward. He said you go fishing with his dad from time to time?" I could see how a great burden was lifted from Charlie's shoulders with those words and he smiled brightly at me. "Well, sure!", he said happily and took a sip of water," Dr. Cullen is quite the fisherman. I don't know how he does it, but he always manages to catch the biggest fish, it's quite remarkable. There was this one time..." Charlie suddenly stopped talking, probably realizing he was talking about fishing someone who preferred to never go anywhere near nature if given the opportunity. Which was probably a good thing, because I didn't do too well with slippery roots and deep water. Well, pretty much anything that you could trip over or slip on was a no-go in my book.
"Well, anyhow, Edward seems like a great kid. Really well-mannered and he does well in school Dr. Cullen tells me. And he's quite easy on the eyes too, I suppose." Charlie uttered the last sentence rather awkwardly, which pretty much reflected how I felt about it. "Uhm, yeah, Charlie...", I said cringing in my seat, "I'm really not that interested in those kinds of things, and not in settling down in Forks forever..." I broke off my sentence, seeing that I'd hit a sore spot. Charlie looked as the air had gone out of him for a short while and then regained his calm. "It's fine, Bells. I know you're not here to stay forever. Hell, we don't even have a college here", he said, trying to sound at ease about it," I'm just happy that I get to spend this time getting to know you. I kinda wish we'd had more time while you were growing up, but with Renée always on the move it was hard. But I guess we've got time now, right?" He looked at me, looking for reassurance and I smiled at him brightly. "Yeah, we've got plenty of time", I said, not out of guilt but sincerely meaning it. Maybe living in Forks wasn't going to be so bad after all...
