I only relaxed once we were safely in the plane and the wheels had folded up for take off. Maximus had stayed close without being suffocating, to my vast relief. His hand now rested in mine, giving a comforting squeeze every now and then.
Gratitude swelled in my chest as I looked over his features. If he hadn't been there today… The thought of Lance's twisted expression and my mother's words sent the knife in my chest deeper while my stomach rolled dangerously.
Some of what I was feeling must have shown on my face, because Maximus raised a hand to stroke my face. His voice was low and ringing with worry. "Do you want to talk about it or be distracted?"
My mouth twitched in amusement, I liked that better than the generic response of asking if I was alright. After the mess we just walked out of, I was nowhere near alright. Maximus knew that and was offering to help in whatever way he could. While I wouldn't feel completely better until I had time to reconcile with this new information, I knew an easy way to lessen my emotional strain.
"Can you hold me?" It came out quieter than I had tried for, but Maximus just nodded. One of the bonuses of dating a vampire, I didn't have to raise my voice to be heard.
"With pleasure." That was all he said as his arms slid under my legs to shift me out of my chair. In the next blink I was sitting in his lap, his arms a blanket of comfort around me. I didn't have the energy to care that he was seeing me maneuver my legs as I dragged them to one side so I could flop against his chest.
Exhaustion from my lack of sleep and the upheaval of my emotions slammed through me, making every limb feel weighted down. One of his hands came up to stroke my back, the motion soothed my still hurting emotions as I cuddled closer into his throat.
His voice sent comforting rumbles through my cheek that rested on his chest when he spoke, "Get some rest, you have more than earned it after today." I needed no other encouragement, as I shut my eyes. Maximus gently moved my legs until they rested at a more comfortable angle, allowing me to stretch out more across his front. A sigh of contentment pushed from my lungs as I focused on his scent, it was spicy but not over powering. It almost reminded me of cocoa.
I drifted off with the feeling of his hands running through my hair and his arms cradling me to his chest. If it was up to me, this would be how I would go to sleep from now. Maybe I could convince Maximus to spend more night in my room…
It was many hours later when I blinked awake, confusion momentarily taking hold at my halfway reclined posture. That confusion disappeared when I turned to see Maximus's sleeping face. In a rush everything came back to me. Going home, Lance, my mother and then my current position using Maximus as a living mattress.
I'd be more embarrassed if he wasn't so comfortable. That was probably the best sleep I'd gotten in the last month at least and it was sitting at an awkward angle on a plane. Taking the chance given to me, I took in the planes and dips of Maximus's sleeping face.
He looked younger in his sleep, not that his looks accurately portrayed his health when he was awake either…
I lifted my hand and traced his jaw with a feather light touch. I didn't want to wake him but some part of me wanted to touch him, just to be sure he was real. Apparently my touch wasn't gentle enough, because one of his eyes flicked open lazily.
I jerked back, feeling my face heat up as his stormy grey eyes watched me. His voice still had a sleepy grumble to it when he spoke, "You don't have to stop. I was enjoying it."
His arms tightened slightly to further prove his point. So, after a moment of hesitation, I reached forward again. My hand traced his nose, the bone feeling slightly crooked under my fingers told me it had been broken at least once when he was human, before trailing up into his hair.
My fingers combed through the blond locks, the soft strands wound around my fingers as I gently brushed it out. Eyelids slid down to hide his eyes as he hummed in contentment, his head leaned gently into my hand to encourage me to continue.
A chuckle came from me before I could stop it, "You really like me playing with your hair, don't you?" His eyes opened again, watching me with humor lightening them.
"Yes, if you ever wish to do so then feel free. I have no complaints about your affections, nor will I ever. The only time I wouldn't appreciate it would be in front of the guards or Vlad, but that is for professional reasons." The sleepy tone to his voice was gone, but it still wrapped around me like a blanket.
I nodded easily, "That's fine, I wouldn't do this in public anyway. For one if you don't have your head in my lap I can't reach." He snorted, the air brushing against my face before he settled into an amused grin.
"True." We settled into a companionable silence as my fingers continued playing with his hair. It was only minutes later when he gently stopped my hand and sat up slightly. The movement jostled me, but his arm kept a secure grip until we were both sitting up straight again.
"As much as I love that position, I have to ask you something important." Immediately nerves sprung to life in my stomach, but I did my best to push them down. This was Maximus and there was nothing he could ask that I wouldn't answer. I nodded to show he had my attention.
He must have smelled my sudden nerves, because he stroked my hands when he spoke. "That came out more serious than I had planned. I only wanted to run the thought of teaching you how to use a weapon by you. It may not do much against a vampire, but it could do a world of good against anyone else."
The thought of using a weapon made me uneasy, but I understood why he would want me to learn. The feeling of Lance's hands came back, before I quickly shook it off. I didn't want to remember that right now, and I had a question to answer.
"Okay, I won't lie and say I'm totally comfortable with the thought, but I understand why it would be necessary." Maximus visibly relaxed, his smile telling me how glad he was that I had chosen to agree to his request.
After dropping another kiss to my head, he continued. "I'm glad you are alright with it. While I fully plan to never let anything come closest enough to you to be a threat, I will feel better if you have your own weapon. It could be something as small and simple as a knife, just as long as you have something."
The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. If the situation in the lounge happened again and Maximus wasn't there I would need some way to get myself out.
Shaking my somber train of thought off, I refocused on Maximus. "Now that we have that settled, you mentioned calling someone for chocolate earlier?"
He grinned widely, one of his arms unwrapping from me to reach behind the seat. When he pulled his hand back he held a party sized pack of Hershey miniatures. A delighted laugh broke from me as he handed it over, "I wasn't sure what type of chocolate to get but this seemed to be one of the more popular brands. I'm glad to see you like it."
I planted my lips on his, my exuberance was from more than the chocolate, although that was a wonderful bonus. He had stayed through my family's drama despite knowing me for less than a week, he didn't push my boundaries, he comforted me without hesitation, and he got me chocolate. He was amazing, and he was mine.
As he curled his arms around me again, I considered taking things just one baby step further. Gathering my courage, I slid my tongue against the fold of his lips. Immediately, he stiffened underneath me, but I waited for him to either pull back or push forward. After a moment where he stayed perfectly still, I repeated the motion and felt as he shuddered.
This time he opened his mouth, his eyes slitted open and glowed green as he watched me explore him. He didn't taste like anything in particular as my tongue traced along his mouth, the feeling was new but not bad.
After making my way to his tongue, I hesitated. What was I supposed to do now? As if in answer, he wrapped his tongue around mine. It felt slimy, but not completely unpleasant. He carded his hand into my hair, gently guiding my head to the side and slanting our mouths together. The new angle and the addition of his hand cradling my jaw made a fuzzy warmth spread through me. But when he sucked lightly on my tongue, sending a burst of heat straight down between my legs, I shuddered for a different reason.
Sensing the shift in mood and feeling me trying to disconnect, Maximus instantly obeyed. His mouth slid from mine, leaving me colder than before but giving me the minute I needed to compose myself.
I dragged air into my lungs, only just now realizing how much they were starting to hurt from lack of oxygen. That was awesome, although I wished I hadn't had to stop. But I felt the bubbling wariness and knew that it was better to call it a day for trying new things. The last thing I wanted to do was push myself too far and undo any progress I've made.
Maximus watched me with his eyes still glowing, his hand reached out to brush our combined saliva off of my lips before bringing it to his own. The sight immediately sent another pulse of heat downward, making me squirm on his lap. Clearing my throat, I murmured. "Can you dial it back, just a bit?"
The slow boil of lust was starting to affect me and I would prefer to not have another attack today. Maximus nodded easily, his eyes softening around the edges as he slid a kiss against my forehead. "Too much?"
I couldn't stop my face from heating up as I thought back on the kiss, "A little bit, but just at the end. I liked the rest of it." I felt mildly wary as I waited for his reaction. I knew that he was a nice guy, but even the nicest people will get tired of being pushed back after awhile. He would never rush me, but would he get tired of waiting?
Some of my concerns must have shown, because he sighed and pulled me back against his chest. "What has you looking so worried? If you're concerned about me trying anything more you don't need to be. I would never try to force you into anything you're not ready for."
The words touched me, even though that wasn't at all what I was thinking about. I made sure to tell him that, "That's not what I was thinking about, I'm just concerned. What if I never get better at handling touch? What if this is all that I can do in our relationship?...Will you get tired of it?"
The last sentence was a whisper, but his advanced hearing ensured that he got it loud and clear. His hands came up to bracket my face, gently lifting my eyes to his from where I had tried to hide them in his chest. "I don't know how quickly you will heal, but look at how much you've accomplished so far. You are sitting in my lap without fear. That is progress on its own, you shouldn't downplay it just because it isn't going as fast as you think it should. And Zelda, no matter how long it takes you, or how slow you want to go, I will never leave you over it. I'm in this relationship for you, not for your body or anything else. Okay?"
Tears clouded my eyes, but I tried to blink them back. I never thought I would find someone like him, not in this lifetime at least. The thought that I was lucky enough to find him made the butterflies take flight in my stomach. I nodded to show my understanding as I curled against him again.
He chuckled against my hair, "You seem to like being curled on top of me just as much as I like having your fingers in my hair." I let out a low hum, not disputing his words as my face continued heating up.
"Nothing wrong with enjoying casual touch, over the past eight centuries I've come to enjoy it considerably more than I did in my youth." He continued on while stroking my hair, easily leaving the previous topic alone to my gratitude.
My curiosity flared at the mention of his childhood, "Why didn't you enjoy touch when you were younger and how come it took so long for you to like it afterwards?" Considering how much he seemed to like it now, the thought of him ever not enjoying it seemed odd.
A felt his chest move as he took a breath, "You have to understand that back when I was a boy the war swallowed everything. If you weren't strong then you didn't survive. The Crusades started when I was very young, and the resulting war tore through my country and left many people desperate to survive. When I was a boy, it was everyone out for themselves and it left little room for coddling or pleasant touch. For the better part of my childhood the only touch I received was pain, whether from a soldier or another civilian just desperate to feed their family. After I went into the Templar order I picked up a blade and learned to fight back. Throughout the next hundred years the only people to touch me were my enemies and I don't have to tell you why that wasn't a good touch. The Crusades ended in 1291 and with it, I was free for the first time in centuries to do as I wished. It was only after the next hundred years of being used as an instrument of pleasure that I came to realise how rare it is to lie still and simply be held by someone you cared for. The last person before the Crusades who had held me had been my mother, but she had died at an early age. That is what made me join the Templars, it was a place to sleep and food to eat which was more than I had at the time."
I felt admiration well up in me as I listened to the hell my partner had been through. He had survived in such a harsh setting, thrived even. The mention of people using him made rage burn in my chest, how did anyone look at this man and hurt him in such a way?
"Thank you for telling me, I like hearing more about you even if it isn't happy memories we're talking about. And as for the people who used you…" I straightened until our faces were level with one another, dropping a chaste kiss on his mouth. "They have no idea what they missed out on. Your arms are quickly becoming my favorite place to be."
A strangled noise came from him, but before I could ask about it his hands came up to yank me into a kiss. His mouth stayed closed, but somehow he still managed to convey his feelings through it. His happiness warmed me throughout, I was glad that he felt just as good about our relationship as I did. I wanted to make him feel every bit of the joy that he gave me and more. If we had our way, there would be plenty of times in the future to do just that.
I pulled back when my lungs started to scream for air. I knew if I didn't stop Maximus might forget about that necessity. Staring into grey eyes that swam with emotion made me want to wrap him into a hug and never let go. No one who hurt him emotionally again, I wouldn't allow it and I would do my best to never do it myself.
The feelings expanded in my chest, demanding an outlet. I didn't want to jump into our more intense kissing again, for obvious reasons but how could I show him what I'm feeling?
It hit me, not all couples communicate affection through kisses. Shifting my weight, I tried to sit straight to bring our faces closer. Once we were as close as we would get, with Maximus throwing me confused looks, I wrapped my arms around his neck and thumped my forehead softly into his.
It felt nice to be able to look straight into his eyes without having to crane my neck. Seeing his confusion increasing, I nudged forward and rubbed the tips of our noses together. He chuckled, his eyes never losing their confusion as he asked. "What are you doing?"
His tone wasn't irritated, just curious to my relief. I shrugged before doing it again. "I like touching you and I feel a lot of things I can't put into words, but I still want you to know how I feel. Usually couples use kisses to get these feelings across, but I don't think I'm up for another intense one and it definitely would be if my current emotions are anything to go by. So I wanted to show you in a different way, but I think I failed."
My grin was sheepish, I had been trying to go for an Eskimo kiss but maybe I should've just kissed him. It wasn't like he wouldn't stop if I asked. Before I could make a joke out of it to lower my embarrassment, he lowered his head until his head rested against mine again.
His breath brushed my ear when he spoke, just loud enough for me and no one else to hear. "You didn't fail, I just needed to know what you were doing to properly understand it. If this is how you want to show affection when you're overwhelmed then I am quite happy with it." To prove his point he rubbed his nose against mine before tracing his mouth up between my eyes to lay a kiss.
A giddy bubble of happiness shifted in my chest until I had no choice but to smile up at him like an idiot. If his answering smile was any indication, he didn't mind in the slightest. I wasn't used to feeling this happy, but it was a nice change. I got the feeling I would be feeling this and a lot more throughout our relationship.
