I relaxed back against Maximus' chest, the movie playing in the background only half holding my attention as I curled closer. It had been a few weeks since his birthday and the first major stride we had made in our physical relationship and ever since that night I had been itching to try it again.
The sight of him jerking uncontrollably underneath me still played in my mind, the memory quickly becoming the main star of my dreams. Before dating Maximus I had never thought I would experience what a wet dream was. It had come as a major surprise as over the last few weeks I had several of them, with varying intensities. The first time I had woken up from an intense dream of what happened between Maximus and I, I had been so surprised that by the time I had snapped out of my amazement I had mostly cooled down.
By the second time, the confusion was gone and I felt the full impact of the dream. I had nearly woken Maximus then and there to see how far I could push myself, but I refrained. While I was sure he wouldn't mind being woken up for that kind of thing, he had been running himself ragged lately as it was and he needed his sleep.
Between the dates he insisted we go on at least once a week, training the guards, and the tasks Vlad assigned him daily Maximus barely had a minute to rest lately. This was the first time in the past week I had managed to convince him to skip going out for a date and instead stay in to curl up and watch a movie together. He still insisted on cooking dinner afterwards, but if my plans went as I wanted them to then he would have other things on his mind instead of cooking.
Now the hard part, figuring out how to go about doing this. I had considered bringing it up and talking about it, but no matter how I thought it over I had no idea how to word what I wanted without it coming out sounding like an idiot. I doubted that he would mind if I took the initiative, at least Vlad seemed certain when he had overheard my plotting a few days ago. I still couldn't look him in the eyes but his reassurance that Maximus wouldn't mind had gone a long way in boosting my confidence.
But that still left me with the problem of how to instigate things… Do I just grab him? Is that too forward? What if he isn't in the mood? He had been working a lot lately…
As my doubts climbed ever higher I felt my nerves being to smother my confidence. No, I wouldn't back out again. If I was backing out it would be because I didn't want to do this, not because I chickened out from listening to my doubts.
Determination set, I glanced up at Maximus whose eyes were half lidded as he watched the movie. Feeling my gaze on him, he looked down and smiled. I felt the flush spread through my cheeks and settle in my chest. This man was too adorable for his own good, or mine for that matter.
Smiling back, I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled myself up to rest higher on his chest, making reaching his mouth easier. He let out a contented hum as our mouths slid together, the familiar warmth spreading through my lower half as his tongue found its way into my mouth.
While he was distracted, I took the chance to start my plans. My hand slowly slid down his chest from its resting place on his shoulder. His muscles bunched under my palm as I trailed my nails lightly across the soft material of his shirt.
My eyes flicked open to watch his reaction as I traced down to his jeans. The minute I had seen him in them that morning I knew that today was going to be the day I tried to further our physical relationship. They hugged his hips in such a way that the fire in my stomach blazed hotter than ever, as if it were alerting me to the fact that while it had been temporarily doused from my trauma it was by no means dead.
The tight jeans left no doubt about his attraction to me now, the obvious bulge in the front that was steadily thickening giving further kindling to my arousal. As my hand grazed the material that restrained his groin, he dragged in a choked hiss of breath as his eyes snapped open.
The grey eyes bore into mine as he watched my hand cup his groin, stopping momentarily to gauge his reaction. When he spoke next, his caring shone through every syllable, "Are you sure? I am happy to wait longer if that's what you want."
He would never know how nice it was when he said things like that, but in this case it wasn't necessary. "I'm sure and I know that if I get overwhelmed, I can stop. I don't want to wait, while I'm still not ready to go the full way I do want to become more familiar with your body. All of your body."
His eyes turned streetlight green in the time it took me to blink and the sight brought satisfaction to me. It was nice to know I could have this effect on him, it made my doubts easier to ignore when they raised their ugly heads. His nod pulled my attention back to the present and sent a thrill of excitement through me. I had his go ahead, now it was up to me how far I wanted to take this.
Even when we had just begun our relationship and I was still wary of touching him more than platonically I had been curious about his equipment in this area. The few times I have seen a male's penis haven't been pleasant by any means, but this time would be different. This time I was willing and I cared about Maximus, I wanted to know everything about him and this was an important part of him.
I wanted to know all the different ways to make him come apart and since I couldn't go all the way yet, that meant I needed to get "hands on" experience, literally, with his shaft to find out what he liked. I didn't find myself minding the thought and I doubted that he would either.
"Do you want me to remove my pants or keep them on?" His question brought my attention back up to his eyes that hadn't lightened from their brilliant green in the slightest. After a moment of thought I wrapped my fingers into his belt loops and gently dragged the fabric lower on his hips, stopping when I had to shift positions to better slide them.
Now I sat further down on the bed while he leaned up against the headboard, his eyes riveted to me as I went back to tugging down his jeans. While they looked fantastic on him, practically painted on as they were, their tight fit made removing them difficult. "Can you lift your hips?"
I knew that I could just sit back and let him remove them, but it seemed more intimate if I did it. He didn't say anything other than to abide, the new angle allowing me to slide the pants down by his belt loops until I had them as far down as I could get them from my current position. While I would prefer to be able to slide them all the way off without help, I would have to do some creative shifting to make that work so this time I would keep it simple. "Can you..?"
Thankfully he didn't make me finish that question, shifting his legs to kick off the pants completely thus leaving him in his boxers. Part of me had expected him to not wear underwear, but now that I thought about it that may be painful with the jean zipper being directly over his most sensitive area.
The material was stretchy and cool against my hand as I curled my fingers in the waistband, taking one last glance up at his face before rolling them down over his hips, leaving them at his knees for him to remove.
His penis was still half soft but I could see that it was quickly thickening and the sight made my mouth and certain other things water. I hesitated a minute as I tried to figure out how to go about doing this, before mentally shrugging and deciding to wing it.
My hand wrapped around the base, the action pulling a muffled hiss from Maximus as he shuddered under my hand. Guess I didn't have to ask if that was okay…
Taking a breath, I explored the texture of his shaft slowly, taking in the feel of his skin and how it slid with my hand as I stroked. Dimly I noticed that it didn't slide smoothly, catching on my skin and scraping slightly. While Maximus didn't seem to be minding the dryness, would it feel better with some kind of lubricant?
Glancing around I didn't see any lotion I could use and after a moment of thought, I shifted closer to his shaft. I had seen a few movies where women did this and the males seemed to like it, that meant Maximus would probably like it as well right?
Starting slow, I licked the slit at the tip of his length, relishing in the moan he let out above me. His hands gripped the sheets to his sides tight enough to make little holes in them from his fingernails as I gave another slow lick. His eyes were shut tight and his face was twisted up into an expression of pure passion I hoped to see more of on him.
After a moment of consideration, I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. Stopping my exploration to use the other hand to guide his free one into my hair. His eyes were back open when I glanced up, the intensity in them thrilling me as he stared down in what I could only call amazement, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing was real.
The look sent pride through me, if he looked at me like that everytime I did this then it may become a near nightly occurrence… "Please don't push on me, but you can curl your fingers in my hair if you want."
He snapped out of his daze and nodded resolutely, his hand moving to cup my head and shift into my hair. I squeezed his other hand before returning to my previous focus.
Remembering the sounds he made from before, I slanted my tongue sideways and ran it along the slit again. Watching enraptured as his head fell back with a moan that I felt through my body.
I listened to the sounds he made and let them guide me, feeling emboldened by his moans as I engulfed the head in my mouth. The taste wasn't anything spectacular, the faint tang of soup from his earlier shower lingered, but other than that there was no outstanding flavor.
His reaction however told me just how much he enjoyed that, his spine arched off the bed while struggling to keep his hips still and not press them up against me. His moans increased in pitch and tempo as I licked the underside before dragging my teeth along the top. I had read about this in a book and now was as good a time as any to see if it worked like the book said.
This time he couldn't stop the buck his hips gave, quickly removing his hand from my head to stop any pressure being put down. I hadn't had him far in my mouth so it didn't bother me, at his look of apology I pulled off him long enough to reassure him I was fine. "It's okay, you didn't mean to and besides that just means that you're enjoying it so much that you are losing control of yourself. I'll take it as a compliment."
Once the apology left his eyes, I dropped back down to his shaft. Sliding my tongue around the base, I worked my way up to the head before engulfing him again. Taking it one step further, I sank down his length while going one inch at a time to be sure not to overwhelm myself.
I stopped after a few inches, his shaft just beginning to get too close to the back of my throat. The last thing I wanted was to gag. Shifting my hands up from the base, I made a marker with my hands for how far down I could go comfortably. After pulling off I stared in shock at his fully erect length, I knew he was large from his size when he was soft but I never expected him to be this big.
How was that going to fit in me? The question sent a chill of fear down my spine and I quickly redirected my thoughts before I could start to overwhelm myself. That wasn't what we were doing, I was exploring him and that was it. He didn't expect anything else and I could ask about sizing and how he would make that fit in me later.
Shaking off my sudden bout of nerves, I sank down again while gripping and massaging the half I couldn't reach with my mouth. Pausing to take in the sensations, I glanced up to meet a mouth watering sight. His head was thrown back and I could see the glow of green through his closed eyelids, his hand stayed steady on my head and his chest was trembling with the urge to move. He managed to hold himself still, shackling his raging lust with the type of willpower you only gained from living centuries. The sight was erotic in a way I had never even dreamed of, the shot of arousal it gave me adding to the pool of warmth between my thighs.
Considering his impressive restraint and my want to see him completely let loose, I made a decision. Tapping one corner of his hips, I waited as his eyes flickered open. Once they met mine I sucked in a breath at the sight he made.
His pupils were blown wide, his hair was disheveled from his previous head tossing and his body trembled with restrained passion. I was so going to be having more wet dreams after this and I didn't mind one iota.
Focusing on the now, I locked eyes with him as I sank down as far I could comfortably go before rising again. Reclaiming the hand that was intertwined with his, I wrapped both of mine around his shaft, covering the areas I couldn't reach before resting my mouth on the head. I didn't move down to engulf him, instead I lightly sucked on the head and tugged on his shaft. His hips instinctively lifted with the movement as his hand tightened in my hair.
I hummed in approval, watching his eyes light with understanding as he hissed out a breath. He didn't ask if I was sure this time, my nod of approval answering his question before he could ask it. His hand moved to tangle into the strands at the back of my head, pressing down as he gently shifted his hips up. He watched me for what I assumed were signs of panic, but all I felt was pride as I sank down to the previously marked place on his shaft.
After a few times he started to ramp up his speed, never enough to be painful, just enough to increase the friction from my mouth against his shaft. I felt his length begin to pulse in my mouth, the girth seeming to grow even more as he raced closer to his end. His hand tugged lightly against my hair and suddenly I remembered the wet spot on his jeans from last time.
Knowing what he was trying to warn me of, I moved off of him until all that was left in my mouth was the head. Hollowing out my cheeks, I sucked. The noise he made coupled with his spine arching completely off the bed made a second pulse start up between my legs. Each beat of my heart sent more blood downward as I watched him come apart.
It didn't take long before he tipped over the edge of his climax, his shaft jerking and twitching in my palm as the sticky liquid shot into my mouth. Despite being ready for it the sheer amount had me pulling back, his length still sending shots out as I pulled off it. As he gave off a final round that covered my chin and cheek, I grinned in triumph. This is what I wanted to see more often; him, completely wrung out from passion, as his body twitches uncontrollably from climax.
I watched as his eyes lost their previous glaze of pleasure, the brilliant green softening back to grey as he stared at me with the most sated look I had ever seen. Pride bloomed in my chest at his completely relaxed posture, the knowledge that I did that making me grin up at him.
"I can get used to this sight." My tone was supremely satisfied but I had no desire to change it and by Maximus' slowly building smile he didn't mind either.
His hand unwrapped from my hair as he used a portion of the sheet to swipe off the liquid on my face, "I agree." His tone was a growl of pure possessiveness that on anyone else would terrify me. As it stood, I puffed up my chest and happily accepted his claim over me.
Once finished with my face, he moved to stand; to my confusion. I grabbed his hand before he could get far and asked, "Where are you going?"
He blinked down at me, the only sign of confusion he gave before answering. "I'm putting my pants back on? I thought you would want me to…"
While it was sweet of him to consider me, I could honestly say that the thought hadn't crossed my mind as being a problem. "You don't have to unless you want to. I know you won't do anything I don't want you to. Whether you have pants on or not won't change that."
Maximus sat back down before leaning over to claim my mouth, his kiss was burning hot with the passion he had only just extinguished. "You are absolutely correct, but if you change your mind tell me immediately and I will put them back on. Or just my underwear. Either way, I need to grab a cloth to clean you. I shall be right back."
He dropped another kiss on my head before disappearing, reappearing less than a minute later with a damp cloth. His touch was gentle, almost painfully so, as he cleaned off the traces of him that had fallen to my shirt, hands and neck. My previous arousal spiked, alerting me to the fact that it was still there and would continue to be until it was taken care of.
I had never taken care of it before the few times it had risen in the past, the idea of having anything down there was enough to make me feel disgusted as the memories replayed. But now it was more insistent, the reawakening of my hormones working against me in this case as it continued to pulse sharply when it usually would have already cooled down.
Maximus placed the rag to the side before pulling me to rest on top of him, the movement dragging my lower half just right against his leg. I bit back a gasp as I instinctively shuddered against him, his form stiffening briefly as he inhaled deeply. It clicked as he breathed in my scent that he could smell my arousal. The thought did nothing to take away from my borderlining painful state, instead it only seemed to increase it.
Maximus cupped my face, gently turning me to look at him. "I can help you with that, if you wish it. If you aren't ready for that we could simply cuddle or if you'd prefer you could handle it yourself. If you choose the last, I'd like to stay and watch but only if you're comfortable with it."
While the feeling between my legs wasn't fading, the thought of doing anything myself to get rid of it made me queasy. Frustration and uncertainty colored my tone when I spoke, "I don't think I can do it myself. When I try to imagine it I just feel sick... I'm not sure how I would react if you touched me. I might be okay with it, but I also might have a panic attack."
Maximus tightened his arms around me, the comfort soothing some of my uncertainty as he spoke. "The decision is entirely up to you, I will honor whatever you choose. If you decide to test your boundaries then all you need to say is stop and I will."
I knew that he would, but would it end quick enough to avoid an attack? "What if I have an attack?" I hated asking this after my big success I had managed already, but it needed to be said.
"Then I do whatever you direct while helping you breath, just like in the clearing." His voice didn't waver, the tone portraying his genuine wish to help. With a deep breath, I accepted. He had already seen me in the middle of an attack and proved he can calm me down, if I did have an attack then he would help me calm back down from it. I couldn't let what ifs rule my life.
"Okay, but please...just go slow." Maximus nodded, his eyes settling to a resolute, steely silverish grey. The heat between my thighs pulsed sharply, as if sensing its relief was near as Maximus gently shifted us around until I was laid back against the pillows. As he settled with his arms on either side of me, his body caging mine against the bed, I bit back the instinctual urge to squirm out from under him.
It wasn't bad enough to make me call it off, but if it got any more intense then it would be. Maximus must have sensed that because he eased back further until he was hovering over my groin without caging me. My legs were still closed from our previous position lying down and while I knew I would need to open them for this, they shook at the thought.
His fingers traced down from my thighs, his touch feather light as he rested his hands on my knees. He waited for my nod before he eased them apart, stroking them when they shook with nerves. A sardonic amusement swept through me that despite not being able to move them, my legs still managed to give away my nerves.
He didn't jump right in as I half expected and half dreaded, instead he continued to gently massage my knees. His fingers slowly moving up my thigh before traveling down to my ankle. Every second he was touching me sent more warmth down between my thighs until I could feel it soak through my underwear. I felt my cheeks flush hotly, but Maximus' hand cupped my face when I turned away out of embarrassment.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of in this. Your body is reacting naturally and this is just a sign that you want me. I will never see that as anything but desirable." His thumb stroked my cheek as he spoke, his words soothing some of my previous embarrassment. When he put it like that it didn't seem so bad…
Once I was looking at him again, he smiled before bringing his hands back to my thighs. He repeated his previous action, not going toward the center of my heat to my confusion. Before I could even ask it, he answered my question. "You aren't relaxed and I'm not going to do anything that you're uncomfortable with. If you can't relax while I am doing this then you're not ready yet. If that's the case then it's fine. It's nothing to be ashamed over, you've already made a lot of progress and you don't want to push it too far."
His words made me melt, affection blowing away most of my nerves as he continued to massage around my center. This man was perfect…
Shaking myself back to the present, I focused on relaxing my legs and felt as their shaking lowered under his palms. He smiled up at me, that smile doing funny things to my stomach as he trailed one of his hands up to the zipper on my pants.
When he hesitated on pulling it, I bucked up against him to push him on. Thankfully he didn't need any more incentive. He mirrored my previous action of using the belt loops to slide my jeans off, gently removing them before dropping them next to his on the floor.
I had never felt more nervous or exposed as he wrapped his fingers into the straps of the special underwear I had bought when we went to town. His eyes slowly became consumed in green as he took me in, his gaze making my nerves skyrocket when he didn't say anything for a moment.
My nerves disappeared when he spoke, "You are everything I envisioned you being and more. I relish being able to see you like this and can't wait for any future opportunities to do so again."
To think he found me so desirable...it was a heady sensation. "If this goes well then you might get to see it a lot more, I know I plan to repeat my earlier performance quite a bit in the future."
His grin bloomed until it stretched across his face. "Can't wait." He turned his attention back to my underwear as he slid them down my legs. The cool air hitting my center made me shiver from the temperature change only to shiver for a completely different reason when Maximus slid a finger along the seam of my center.
He was careful as he explored, his fingers prodding along the outside before continuing on when I gave the go ahead. As I felt him twist his finger around, tracing the entrance as if memorizing it by brail, it almost felt like he was looking for something-
In the next instant a sharp burst of pleasure cut through my lower half as I bucked against his hand. Okay he had definitely been looking for something and apparently he had found it. Before my next thought his finger had locked on that spot, crooking gently to rub against it, making stars explode behind my eyelids and a moan pull from my mouth.
As he slid his finger deeper, his thumb flicking along the nub at the entrance that had me shaking under his hand, I felt him shift inside of me. The feeling didn't inspire the fear or disgust the action had in the past and my relief lasted all of two seconds before it was drowned in the wave of lust.
"Do you want more or should I keep it as it is?" It took me a minute to process his question, the arousal making thinking difficult, but I managed to breath out my answer between gasps.
"Keep going, I'm still okay." It invigorated me how well I was doing so far, the tightening feeling between my legs increasing as his fingers nudged around inside me. Immediately after the words left my mouth his fingers changed rhythm, the new thrusting pattern sucking the air out of my lungs and arching my back off the bed.
His fingers scissored out, stretching my insides as he dragged his fingers against my walls. One of his fingers scraped against a bundle of nerves that wrestled a choked cry of pleasure from me before I could think to stop it.
He shifted all of his attention to that bundle as his free hand gripped my own. The molten heat built between my thighs until it was nearly painful as I teetered on the edge of my climax. His fingers scissored again before pressing firmly against the nerve bundle again. The knowledge that he was deliberately stretching me to prepare me for what came later is what sent me over the edge.
My voice cracked as I cried out, the pleasure breaking over me and turning my vision white. This was even more intense than what we did on his birthday… How would it feel when we went the full way? The thought sent another shudder through me as I struggled to regain my bearings. Distantly I felt his fingers withdraw, but all of my attention was on breathing as the aftershocks rolled through me.
*SMUT OVER*
Calloused hands gently rubbed my back, the touch grounding me as I floated through the after effects of my earth shattering orgasm. Dimly I wondered when he had switched our positions so he was beneath me, but the thought faded as soon as it came. He was comfortable and his arms around me were helping me stay in the now through whatever this was, I would just be happy for it. I could be confused about how he managed it later.
It could have been minutes or hours before I came back to reality, I didn't care. Maximus was still stroking my back and the feeling helped me keep calm through the unfamiliar reactions. Any other time not being able to move my body would send terror through me, but while it was uncomfortable not being able to move, I knew that it was normal and with Maximus here nothing would hurt me. My muscles still randomly spasmed but at least now I could move and think past breathing.
When I met his eyes the grey pools overflowed with tenderness, the look so potent that I felt the butterflies come alive again. Would they ever calm down? I hoped not…
Giddiness made a goofy grin tug at my mouth as the realization of what we had just done came through my still foggy mind. I nuzzled further into Maximus's chest as I basked in the new progress. I had never thought I would manage this, lying mostly naked next to an equally undressed man after working each other into an orgasm. It felt like a dream, one I didn't want to wake up from anytime soon.
Everyday I seemed to be making more strides towards being better, being what I used to be and I loved it. It was odd to think that not even half a year ago I would have written this scenario off as impossible for me and yet here we sat. And all of it was possible because of him, I had never connected with someone like I do with Maximus. What were the odds that I would meet him and get to have this relationship? Not high, I knew that.
Maximus sent an equally bright smile down to me, "I'm glad that you don't appear to be having regrets."
Regrets? Even if I had an attack I still wouldn't regret anything we did together, it was all a learning experience and I wanted to do every step with him. I made my jellied muscles pull me up on his chest, not wasting a second in tugging him down for a kiss. "No matter what we do, or what happens afterward I will never regret what we do in our private lives. In the best case scenario I never have an attack while we explore and I get to feel this with you a lot more often. In the worst case I have an attack every now and then, you help me calm down from it and we move on from there until I'm not having them anymore. Our relationship contains no regrets and it never will, because it's you and me and nothing else matters."
The pink sheen that glazed his eyes lasted less than a second, but before I could question if he was alright I was wrapped into familiar arms and pressed against his chest. Had I said something wrong? Before I could ask, he pulled back to drag me into a kiss that practically burned with intensity. When he pulled back for me to breath, he spoke. "I'm relieved to hear that. One of my biggest worries is accidentally pushing you into something that you're not ready for and having you regret it. If you ever aren't sure about something tell me and I will back down immediately."
How long had this been bothering him? I could've soothed it from the start if I had known the worry existed… "Maximus, I know you would never push me if I was uncomfortable with something. Anything I choose to instigate has already been thoroughly thought over to be sure it is what I want. You never have to worry about regrets, because anything I do with you is nothing to be regretful for."
Shifting my arms around his neck, I pulled myself up to lie against his chest with my head in the crook of his shoulder. If the flash of pink that I had seen in his eyes was any indication, Maximus might need a minute to compose himself. I knew what it was like to be overwhelmed with emotions, whether they were good or bad, and I would happily give him the time to himself to sift through them.
Besides, cuddling was another form of bliss and I was more than happy to spend as much of our time as possible like this. As my cheek rested against his chest, the soft fabric of his shirt caught my attention.
Only now did I realize that both of us still had our shirts on and the fact seemed utterly hilarious now. Giggles threatened to burst from me as I pressed more firmly against his chest in an attempt to stop them. Maximus seemed to be dealing with his emotions right now and the last thing I wanted was for him to think I was laughing at him.
Thankfully, he didn't believe that although he did look down in curiosity at me. "What's so funny?" I made sure to listen for any hurt in his tone, but there was none to my relief.
It sounded even sillier to say it out loud but I didn't want him to come to the wrong conclusion so I pushed through it, "I just realized that we're still wearing our shirts. For some reason the thought that we're still wearing them after what we just did is hilarious to me. Ignore me for a few minutes, it'll go away."
Understanding lit his gaze as he glanced down before a smile curled his lips, "No need to hide it, I can see where it would be amusing. If you'd like I can remove my shirt?"
I didn't even have to think about it, lifting myself up on my elbows I gripped the bottom hem before gently tugging on it. Once he lifted his torso for me to pull it over his head, I flung the shirt onto the pile of clothes on the floor.
Turning around, I got my first uninterrupted view of his chest. Every muscle was sculpted as was expected since his human life had been spent fighting in the wars. As my hands ran over each muscle, they tensed under my palm. The light dusting of gold across his chest was soft as I dragged my fingers through it. I felt more at ease than I ever expected to be in such a position, laying mostly naked against his chest while he stroked along my spine. If this was how our relationship was going to continue to progress then it would go considerably smoother than I had worried.
As my fingers explored the expanse of his chest, I felt his hands come to rest on my hips where he tugged lightly on the hem of my shirt. Considering what we had just done and his completely naked state, it made sense that he wanted to remove it.
I nodded, not feeling an ounce of trepidation as he carefully tugged the shirt over my head. His fingers grazed the edges of the bra, but with a shake of my head he left it alone. While I was doing well, I wasn't sure how I would react to not having it, so for now it would stay on. Maybe the next time we explored we could see about removing it.
Instead, his hands took the opportunity to trace along my sides, traveling up to my shoulders before trailing down to my stomach. Even with his light touch, the feeling of hands against the chub of my stomach made me queasy. I wasn't overweight by any means, but being in my chair made exercising difficult. I tried to not let it bother me but with his hands cupping it, it brought all of my old insecurities back to the front.
As my hands moved over his well defined muscles, his abs and pecs tensing under my touch as I traced my nails over them, I wished I had more to offer him in that area. "I know, I'm not-"
Lips silenced my sentence before I could finish it, one of his hands was in my hair while the other was resting against my hip, stroking my stomach with his thumb. When he pulled back the previous contentedness was replaced with a sharp determination. "You are beautiful as you are, never believe otherwise. I prefer having more to hold onto so your body is perfect to me and hopefully I will make you see it as I do in the future."
I was doubtful about that, I wouldn't dispute that he found me attractive as he would know better than I would and I knew he wouldn't lie to me about that, but the thought of me thinking I was attractive? That seemed impossible. "That may take awhile..."
His nose brushed against mine in an eskimo kiss as he stared resolutely into my eyes. "That's fine, I'm planning on being here for however long you'll have me."
Something about his wording caught my attention, pulling me from my fuzzy feelings and making me focus on him. I wasn't sure what had caught my attention in particular, but the way he had said that didn't sit right with me.
"You shouldn't offer that, I happen to cling to people who I like and I never want to let go. If you're not careful you'll be stuck with me forever." I was only mostly kidding, I did have the tendency to try to hold onto people when I started to care for them, even when they weren't what was healthy for me. Case in point, my mother, but I wasn't going to focus on that right now.
Instead of laughing it off like I expected him to, his eyes deepened until I could get lost in their depths. When he spoke it was heavy with emotion and rolled over me like a physical caress. "Good, forever sounds like just the right amount of time to spend with you."
Some of the dark edge from before left his eyes, loosening the tension I had felt previously. I didn't know what that had been about, but I wasn't sure how to ask either… "Maximus, you know that I care for you a lot right?"
It sounded silly to say out loud, but that feeling still nagged at me, telling me that I needed to find out what was bothering him. Instead of laughing or shaking my question off, his eyes darkened again and suddenly I knew what he was worried about. It tore at my heart as I spoke it out loud, stopping him from answering the question.
"Maximus, do you think I'm going to just leave you at the drop of a hat, over nothing?" I hated when his mouth tensed into a tight line in answer. The thought that anyone would hurt this man in such a way, breaking it off with him for one reason or another without any warning or explanation… His words from so long ago came back, I've been used as an instrument of pleasure before…
Tears filled my eyes as my heart burned to comfort him, how long had he been dealing with this? Just pushing off his pain when his lovers abandoned him, as if he meant nothing to them...I could easily see him becoming my everything in no time at all. He already was my everything, what with my mother turning against me.
I couldn't let him think that I would so carelessly discard him for another moment, he had to know just how much he meant to me. When he turned his head to hide his expression, I cupped his jaw with both hands and guided him back to me. The tears trailed down my cheeks, immediately alarming him but before he could say anything I pulled him into a kiss that I tried to push as much of my feelings into as possible.
I didn't deepen it, not wanting to turn things in a heated direction. Instead I trailed kisses from his mouth up to his forehead, before going all the way back down to his chest. He needed to know what he was worth to me, and I refused to let him think he was anything less than my everything.
"No, I will never just leave you. If we have problems or I have doubts or anything else for that matter, anything that could negatively impact our relationship. I will talk to you about them, we can discuss anything between us and if something bothers me I'll let you know before it becomes a problem. As I expect you to do the same. You mean too much to me to just leave without even trying to work things out between us and I could never bring myself to hurt you like that."
I had stopped trailing kisses, hovering over his mouth as I spoke. While it wasn't what I really wanted to say it would have to do for now. I wasn't sure if it was too early for him to know the full extent of my emotions so this would have to do.
This time it was his eyes that filled with tears, the pink liquid sliding down his cheek before my hands cupped his face again to swipe it away. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hands, I knew what it looked like when someone was soaking in the emotions of someone else so I stayed still and let him pull as much strength as he needed from me.
Wrapping my hands into his hair, I tugged him forward until his face nuzzled into my throat. My fingers worked through his tangled hair, carefully removing the knots and massaging at his scalp as he shuddered against me. My arms were starting to hurt from holding my weight up at the odd angle we were at, with me half leaning on top of and against his chest, so I tightened my arms around him before rolling over.
At first he pulled against me, thinking I wanted to separate but after I only tightened my arms further he figured out what I planned. His body went pliant as he allowed me to roll him with me until I was laying back with him resting on top of me. Yet another thing I never thought would come about, but I put it out of my mind as I focused on comforting my millennium old knight who had been strong for entirely too long.
I didn't feel any more tears against my shoulder, but I knew just the one that had shown itself spoke for how much Maixmus was feeling right now. Once we were situated again, I continued brushing my fingers through his hair, alternating between that and moving down to rub at his back and shoulders. It could've been minutes or hours before he pulled back, not enough to completely separate from me but enough so he could see my face.
The bare gratitude in his eyes tugged on my heart painfully, he shouldn't be grateful for being told that he was worth more than what others had treated him with. I would make it my new mission in life to make this man feel like the most wanted, worthy and loved man in existence. Once it is all said and done he will never doubt the position he holds in my life ever again.
The words I love you were just on the tip of my tongue but I swallowed them back. There had been a lot of emotional moments today, I could wait for a bit to tell him that. Besides I wanted to get a better idea for where he stood before I told him about just how tightly he had wrapped himself around my heart.
His voice brought my attention back to the present, pulling me away from the dangerous line of thinking my mind was going down. "I can't express how much those words mean to me, just know that I value you and our relationship to the same degree I respect and care for Vlad. There are very few things I wouldn't do for you and should I ever have concerns about our relationship then I will bring them to you. There will be no dramatics, no fighting, and no unnecessary hurt. The lines of communications are open between us and I swear on my blood that I will never leave you unless you explicitly wish it."
It wasn't startling this time when he bit into his wrist, he made a promise by blood and so his blood was needed. Before the wound could close I gently caught his arm and licked the bite mark, only pulling away once it was completely healed. His eyes went streetlight green as the emotions in them smoldered with intensity.
I felt the thrumming heartbeat start up between my legs again as his shaft began to pulse and thicken against my stomach. When a look of uncertainty covered his face, one of his arms beginning to reach down to grab his clothes, I stopped him with two words. "Round two?"
A devilish smile spread across his face as he abandoned his quest to grab his clothes, instead he slid down until his head was between my thighs. The sight made my throat go dry and my legs tremble with anticipation. His words further spiking my excitement, "I have a slight adjustment for this time, if you don't mind."
It didn't take a genius to figure out what he was talking about and I barely got out a nod before he had buried his mouth between my legs. Oh I definitely had no complaints about this… After he finished up, which wouldn't be long if the burning between my legs was any indication, I would be more than happy to return the favor...Several times over.
