Chapter 12

When I finally woke up it was almost noon. I was a bit perplexed by the fact that Charlie hadn't woken me up, but I supposed that Charlie didn't really know how to handle sleepy teens any more than he knew how to handle study sessions and possible dates. I had lain awake for a good couple of hours after being dropped off at home by Edward and his siblings, pondering my existence, both here and in Phoenix. And Dan. Of course, always Dan. It wasn't entirely true what I'd told Renee the other day, about not having heard from Dan. He'd written me a couple of days after I'd arrived in Forks. I hadn't made a big fuss about me leaving town, not really having any friends to say good bye to but I suppose these things always got out eventually and that he'd found out somehow. I'd promised myself that I'd never punish myself by dwelling in the past I'd had with Dan, stashing away all the stuff we'd shared together and not bringing any of it with me to Forks. But I hadn't thrown it away, secretly suspecting that these memories wouldn't always make me cringe. Or make me wanna cry. Instead I'd handed the boxes(yes, boxes. Dan and I had a relationship filled with memorabilia), over to Renee who'd done nothing but giving me a big hug and never mentioned the boxes again. I didn't quite know where she'd put them and I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to know either. Not yet.

But this was different. It wasn't the past, it wasn't the letters, the concert tickets or all the other stuff I'd put away. It was Dan. My Dan. Or at least he used to be. He'd started the email off with apologizing for his silence, which didn't make much sense to me since he'd been pretty clear about that he didn't want any more contact the last time we'd spoken. I scrolled past that part quite quickly, it just stirred up too many bad memories. Then there was a rant about how amazing college was and "boy, will you be amazed when it's your turn". That part only made me mad, seeing as college had been the thing that initially drove us apart. At least in my book. And then he launched a rant about how he was disappointed that I hadn't let him know that I'd be moving to Forks and that he'd had to find out through Jess Landon instead. And that's when I deleted the email without finishing it.

He had a lot of nerve pretending like it affected him in the slightest way if I was a couple of miles away or hundred miles away. I hadn't heard from him in months, not even on my birthday. That sucked majorly, seeing as I'd celebrated every birthday worthy of remembrance with him. Renee had gone out of her way to compensate for the lack of Dan, giving me a MacBook that I knew she couldn't really afford(but Phil probably could though). But there was no way of making up for the loss of Dan and her painful efforts to do so had rather marked the fact that he was missing than soothed my wounds.

After having deleted the email I'd paced back and forth in my room for a good fifteen minutes, trying to figure out how one should respond to such an email. What can you say to someone who's completely crushed you, really? I then proceeded to blocking his email address to avoid further messages that would damage my mental health. I was going to be rid of Dan Whitaker once and for all.